A massive THANK YOU to the 50 (FIVE ZERO!) people who reviewed last chapter! I can't thank you enough! I've replied to all of you, except for those who weren't signed in or were anonymous. Just know that I appreciate all your kind words and support.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Will never attempt another LOOOONG chapter again. Ever. Also, new target: 15 chapters in total. Or 16. Maaaaybe 18. What the hell do I know? I'm just in charge of typing. I'll let the story decide.
AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: Remember that this is not a DELENA story in its core. It's about domestic violence and Elena's journey through it. Okay, now that I've sufficiently bummed you out, let's see what else happened during the Xmas party….from your favorite blue-eyed man's POV.
A Woman's Worth: Chapter ELEVEN
Damon's POV
Normally, I'm not the type who likes a big crowd, especially when they are people I didn't know traipsing around my living room, dirtying my carpets. But I had to remind myself why I was doing this; both for my brother and for Elena.
I don't think that there is anything I wouldn't do for those two people. For my brother, I would ensure that he found a woman who possessed great qualities, one who could make him happier than anything, if only to make up for ruining his childhood and for denying him of our mother's love at such a young age. I was certain that Caroline was one such person.
As for Elena, I would be happy even if she would bestow me with one of her rare genuine smiles that seemed to appear on her face much easier these days compared to when I first met her. She had come a long way since she bravely left Lockwood, albeit meaning to only briefly leave him, but it all worked out in the end once he turned his back on her. I don't want to even consider what could have happened if she hadn't had Caroline to take her in. I could have, perhaps unwisely, stepped up and suggested for her to stay with me until we could think of an alternative, but I knew that once I had her under my roof, there was no way I could ever bear watching her leave it again. Leave me.
So there I was, surrounded by her college mates, courtesy of Caroline Forbes who thought it fitting to seemingly invite the whole campus to our Christmas party. My guest list was far shorter; my best buddies, the sexy doctor, my broody brother and one drunken Santa I picked up at the mall. That last one cost me two hundred bucks and a couple of nights' of hotel room stay just so he could at least appear washed and clean at the party.
Amongst the throng, I kept a lookout to catch a glimpse of Elena, wondering if she was pleased with the turnout, and whether she was having fun at all or if it brought back sad memories of her celebrating the holidays with her parents when they were still alive. As my eyes started searching the room for her, I came across another familiar face instead.
"Donovan?" I called out in surprise. I didn't expect to see my regular bartender at my house, drinking my alcohol. "What are you doing here at my party?"
The blond haired and blue eyed guy came to a screeching halt in front of me when he heard his name being called, and did a double-take when he saw me. "Salvatore? This is your house?" he asked, an awestruck expression appearing on his baby-face when I nodded and shrugged as if it was no big deal. I was used to that kind of reaction whenever people knew that I lived in that great big mansion on the outskirt of town. They get the same kind of fascinated look like this guy right here. "Umm, my sister Vicki goes to college with Caroline and Elena, so she invited me along since I'm off today. If this is your house, then why would you and your friends hang out at the bar? You've got a very impressive stash of booze here, all vintage and most of it brewed before I was even born."
I nodded in agreement. My father's collection was pretty impressive, except that I had never touched any of it, nor did I plan to. So I figured, why not break 'em out for the party? Perhaps it was petty revenge on my part, raiding his prized collection of the best brandy and whiskey for a bunch of strangers, but it wasn't as if my father would miss any of it.
"We like to support the local economy, and of course, I would hate to deny my favorite bartender the pleasure of my company! I'm sure you'll appreciate the quality of my father's best whiskey, so go ahead and drink your fill. Usual rates apply, so you can just pay me before the night is over, but just because it's you, I'll give you a thirty percent discount," I teased, completely straight-faced and noting his shocked expression at the thought of having to pay for a drink at a Christmas party. "I'm completely kidding," I chuckled loudly, clapping him on his back as he relaxed and gave a nervous laugh, "I don't give discounts." With that, I left the bewildered man to stare after me as I rejoined my two best friends.
"Hey, man," Ric greeted me with a nod of his head, a wry grin plastered on his face. "Great frat party! The only thing missing is a beer keg!" he commented sarcastically. "Meredith had an emergency at the hospital so she said to tell you that she'll be late."
Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes at Elijah at the news that my favorite doctor had to work on the Christmas Eve. "That sucks, Ric. She's missing out on all the fun like she always does! I was just thinking how I should challenge her to a beer bong competition. When are you going to propose and pop out some babies so that she can be a full-time mom while you bring home the dough? I'd rather hang out with her than seeing you two clowns all the time," I joked, still slightly miffed at their earlier prank with the Christmas tree. They were the reason I had to spend some alone time in my bedroom after I landed on top of the lovely and alluring Elena Gilbert!
"Oh please, as if you'd have time to hang out with any of us now that Elena's free to date whoever she wants," my detective friend said, gesturing to the brunette in question over by the fireplace, hugging my surprise for her. By surprise, I meant Uncle Maurice, the guy I picked up from a street corner near the mall. Okay, that did not come out the way I intended it to. I don't usually pick up random strangers from street corners and Uncle Maurice was definitely not some prostitute! Also, we had the same 'equipment' and I certainly did not swing for the same team. I should perhaps stop talking or thinking altogether before I dug a deeper hole for myself. Moving on.
"Yeah, so when are you going to move in and woo her?" Ric piped in.
Sometimes, Ric reminded me of an old wrinkly and male version of my aunt Beatrice with his outdated dating jargons. "Woo? This is the year two zero one two, Grandpa. Get with the times, will ya?"
My best friend was quick to hold up his hands in a surrender motion. "I'm sorry for being old-fashioned. So, when are you going to show her your 'I-Heart-Elena' tattoo? It's been two whole weeks since she broke up with Lockwood. Aren't you supposed to be trying to get into her pants right now instead of standing here with 'us two clowns'? Don't think we don't notice the way you two have been flirting with each other today," he said with a brow wiggle, which he totally stole from me. Ric didn't have a single flirty bone in his body, not even in his facial expressions. Sometimes, I wonder how he ever managed to land a hottie like Dr. Meredith Fell.
"We weren't flirting with each other!" I exclaimed defensively, frowning slightly at the thought of Elena knowing the depths of my feelings for her when she was supposed to be merely my charge and a friend. A friend I wanted to hug and kiss and cuddle and live happily ever after with. God, I was such a sap!
Two loud chuckles erupted around me, drawing me from my inner musings while the Tweedle twins managed to find humor in my romantic life, which was virtually non-existent at this point.
"Spare us your denial, Damon. We saw you two earlier, cuddling on the floor as if we weren't standing right there. I daresay if we weren't, Ric and I would probably be uncles to a few-hours-old zygote right now!" Elijah announced, shocking to me to my very core. I had never realized how crude he could be before now. This had been a day of discovery, for sure.
As much as I wanted to object to their opinion of my inability to control myself – and my wandering sperm – around Elena, I had to obligingly agree that the chemistry between us were so much more palpable today than any other times before. Elena had been more open and jovial than I had ever seen her, and maybe now might be the right time to cross over the line from friendship to a romantic relationship. Perhaps she had moved on from Jerkwood and would be receptive to my 'wooing', as Ric had termed it.
So despite my earlier reservations about making my feelings known to a girl I had sworn to protect as my charge, I decided to give in to my feelings and to trust my boys' instincts that there was something more to what Elena felt for me. Hell, I was even starting to think of Ric's suggestion about that tattoo to be acceptable, to the extent of contemplating which part of my lean body should bear the ink. But perhaps I'd settle for a customized tee shirt instead since I had a low threshold for pain. I certainly didn't want to bawl my eyes out in front of the girl I was trying to impress.
"Falling on top of her doesn't equal cuddling, okay?" I huffed in frustration, my mind now filled with inappropriate images of writhing body parts and lingering touches. Shaking my head to clear them, I set aside my pride and ventured for advice as to how to proceed from this point onwards. "Okay, let's say that if I were to start 'wooing' her, how should I go about it? Do I ask her out on a date? Like to the hospital?"
Two gaping mouths and perplexed expressions were the only reactions that I got from my two best friends for quite some time. "You bring your dates to a hospital?! Were you planning on injuring her with your massive man missile or something?" The question came from Elijah, who was frowning at my crotch for some reason.
"No, I meant to visit Anna. It's been a while since we visited her, so I thought why not make that our first date since Elena is comfortable there. I don't want to move too fast too soon or it might just scare her off." I genuinely thought that I had hit upon a great idea but apparently, my boys didn't share the same sentiment.
"Did you hang your balls up as part of the scary Christmas tree?" Ric asked in exasperation. "You want a little six year-old to act as your chaperone on your first official date? Come on, Damon. Grow a pair and go kiss her already!"
I stared at him in disbelief, unable to process what I was hearing. It wasn't that long ago that I was sitting in Meredith's office, confronted by this very same guy, advising me not to cross that line with a charge and to remain professional. And now suddenly, he was encouraging us to play some tonsil tennis? Who was this sandy haired man and what did he do to my best friend? Whatever the answer was, I found myself preferring the new and improved Ric, even if he had been invaded by an alien.
"I can't just go up to her and kiss her! What if she rejects me?"
"She won't, not if you carry one of these with you," he replied, gesturing to his crotch. For a moment there, I didn't know what to think. Then I looked harder to see what exactly he was referring to and that was when I saw the sprig of mistletoe he had attached to his belt. Oh. "Damon, it's the perfect setup. It's Christmas eve so it's completely expected for two people to kiss under a mistletoe," he explained, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
Oh. Eww. Now I got it, why he had that sprig tied on his belt instead of carrying it around like a normal person would. Two people were supposed to kiss under a mistletoe, so if Meredith was around to do any kissing, it would be to an area below his belt. Seriously sick.
Luckily, the other best friend interjected before I could purge Elena's Halloween log cake out through my mouth. "First of all, that's gross and highly inappropriate, Ric. And second of all… ignore him, Damon. Elena's a really special girl, and if you really want to begin a closer relationship with her, you have to take it one step at a time. Try asking her to dance for a start," Elijah urged, simultaneously turning me around so that I was facing the makeshift dance floor, where Elena was standing near to it.
It seemed like the perfect suggestion to kick start what could potentially be the love story of the century, so I nodded jerkily and began to make my way over to where she was standing alone, plastering a determined look on my face. As I approached her, the beginning notes of a familiar song started playing in the background and I recognized it the instant she turned her face up to my direction, and just as our eyes met, I thought to myself, how apt that our first dance would be to a song titled 'Hold Me In Your Arms'. I couldn't have planned it better myself.
My lips were widening into a smile as I closed our distance, her face taking on an expectant expression, but then suddenly, someone walked into my line of sight, breaking our eye contact. Reluctantly, I shifted my attention to the person who dared to interfere into a very private moment, only to rear back in shock when I saw that it was my very own brother. He was holding his arm out to her while I stared in confusion at the scene before me. In a moment of panic, I didn't know what else to do but to change course towards the next person I recognized in the crowded room; Blondie. Thank God!
"Hey, dance with me," I said to Caroline hastily, and without giving her a chance to decline or to accept, I pulled her arm rather roughly towards the mismatched couple, hoping to be able to eavesdrop in on their conversation. I dragged the blonde in my arms as close as possible to where they were dancing, trying valiantly to be less obvious about my intention while forcing myself to avert my eyes from Elena's upturned face.
I succeeded all of five seconds, and then I threw caution to the wind and allowed myself the luxury of staring directly at her beautiful features, wondering how a simple plan like asking her to dance could go so wrong. I heard Stefan's low voice muttering something to her and then out of the blue, what sounded like my name was mentioned and that made her eyes snapped to mine. I should have been embarrassed that she caught me staring at her, but I couldn't bring myself to turn away, not when she was looking at me in a way that had chills running up and down my spine in a tickle. She almost seemed apologetic that she was dancing with my brother.
As my body swayed automatically to the music without thinking, nothing around me registered except for the intense eye-sex Elena and I had going on. If anything, it was as if we both were afraid to even blink or else the moment would be over just like that. This was by far the most intimate I had been with a woman, a silent communication of our mutual interest spanning across the short distance that separated us. If anything, the distance between us gave it that much more intimacy, like a delicate push-pull of our amazing chemistry since the first time I laid eyes on her on the hospital bed. In that moment, she was mine and mine alone.
As soon as that profound thought crossed my mind, it was as if I had jinxed it, because then she was gazing up at Stefan, abruptly breaking our eye contact. I groaned inwardly in denial, but then finally realizing that the persistent buzzing sound in my ear from the start of the dance till now was none other than the pesky mosquito known as Caroline Forbes. It sounded as if she had been talking non-stop, only I didn't realize it at the time until now that the spell was broken.
"…..the hell you doing, asking me to dance when you're barely even moving! I've got a reputation as an awesome dancer and now you've reduced me into a swaying tree! And you, you're the guy who's supposed to lead but I don't think you're even listening to me. Well, are you? You're not, see? Elena's wearing her red lacy undies! She…she's wearing nipple rings! She's got a dick! She's actually a halfling from the Land of Halves," Care rambled in hushed tones, sounding incredibly frustrated. Despite my own frustrations, I had to stifle an urge to laugh at the outrageous stuff she was spewing to get my attention.
It worked. "Maybe it's safer for me if we stopped 'swaying like trees', eh? You're kinda scaring me with images of a Halfling with nipple rings and a penis." I released her and stepped back when she rolled her eyes at me.
"I didn't know you were listening," she said while wearing a sheepish smile. "Elena doesn't have a dick, nor does she wear nipple rings. The red lacy underwear, on the other hand-"
"I don't need to hear about that," I interrupted hastily, shaking my head at her overzealous need to overshare. "Thanks for the dance, Care." Shooting another peek over her blonde curls at the dancing couple who seemed to be engrossed in their own discussion, I led her away and rejoined my two buddies who appeared to have witnessed my debacle on the dance floor.
Shoving his hands into his pockets, Ric greeted me first. "Well that was awkward," he sighed, clearly disappointed with the outcome of my attempt to ask Elena to dance. It was actually pretty sweet how invested he was in my love life. Gesturing with a head tilt towards the couple a distance away, he said, "From what I could see, though, it was obvious that Elena preferred to dance with you, if that's any consolation. Stefan just had terrible timing, that's all."
"I think it's great that they're friends," I commented moodily. "My brother needs more people he can talk to and Elena's a sweetheart, so I'm glad they're getting along. I mean, I love my brother and all, but I kind of want to thump him on the head for stealing my thunder. Why couldn't he have asked Care to dance? Or Uncle Maurice, at least?" Fine, I was sulking at this point, but it was such a wasted opportunity, with the right setting, the right song, the right girl, and all I had to do was to take three more steps forward and she would have been in my arms. I probably should have mowed my brother down and sent for Caroline to tend to his injuries.
Ever the detective even when he was off-duty, Elijah studied me with his warm brown eyes. "Are you by any chance trying to pull off a love match between Stef and Caroline? Because you weren't being very subtle about it earlier when you were introducing them, you know? Any idiot could see it."
"You were? Why didn't I didn't notice anything?" Ric wondered with a frown, his ears perking up with interest.
"Like I said, any idiot could see it, but apparently, Ric's even more an idiot than I originally thought," Elijah smirked, quickly stepping away to narrowly escape from Ric's playful nudge. They were both idiots!
I turned around and cast a furtive look around us, not wanting to be overheard, so I pulled them both towards the kitchen for some privacy. "Okay, before you tell me what a bad idea it is, I just need you to hear me out. My brother is single, and has been all his life, right? He hardly has any friends and I think that's mainly because of what happened when we were kids, and you know, losing both our parents. Other than law school, and the occasional visits to the town library, where else is he going to meet an eligible bachelorette? What he needs is a nice, caring and happy-go-lucky type of girl who can draw him out of his shell and hopefully turn him from McBroody into Mr. Happy Meal!"
"So that's your brilliant plan? Driving your new female friend and your only sibling through a McDonald's drive-thru? Shouldn't there be other components to a blossoming romance other than their single statuses, like, I don't know, feelings perhaps? Maybe even some mutual attraction?" Ric asked incredulously. Oh 'ye of little faith in my matchmaking skills. I was Cupid and my arrows had been aimed and shot, and they were already off to a great start!
"Come on, can't you see it yet? They are great together! They already call each other by their nicknames, they just spent a fun afternoon dressing up the tree together, and we all had a little laugh at Elena's expense with her 'cunnilinguistic' skills. I have never seen Stefan laugh so hard in my life before; he was actually happy! You two have known Care for a few weeks and you know as well as I do that you just can't help but love her! I mean, she's loyal to her friends, she's protective over the people she cares about, she's supportive, kind, funny and beautiful, and we have a lot more in common than I thought. If my mother was alive, I know that she'd approve of her wholeheartedly. And if I play my cards right, Caroline Forbes is going to be a Salvatore one day."
I paused emphatically to allow them some time to soak up the wisdom of my words, knowing that they would come around to the idea eventually. It wasn't hard to see how right those two were for each other, except for themselves, but that's why they had me to look out for them. I could just imagine how their future would look like, filled with laughter and romance, kind of like what I had imagined for Elena and myself, if we ever started dating. Maybe we could even plan a double-date!
As if by some design, who would come stumbling out of my pantry but my multi-talented charge, the one and only Elena Gilbert? I surely didn't expect to see her coming out of a tiny room that was joined with the kitchen which stored nothing by real cobwebs and canned goods. Maybe even cobwebs in canned goods, as I hadn't been in there for ages. "Elena? What were you doing in there? In the dark? Are you drunk?" Funny, I hadn't even seen her holding a drink the entire night.
She made some flimsy excuses about needing somewhere quiet to make a call, and then after some hesitation, I saw her moving closer to me as my friends stealthily moved away to give us some space. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw both Elijah and Ric flashing me a thumbs-up sign, and I had to resist an urge to grin back at them for the sudden opportunity to spend some alone time with her.
"I wanted to thank you for inviting me to this party, getting the tree and even getting Uncle Maurice to come. I know that you went to a lot of trouble to plan this because of what I told you about missing my parents at this time of year," she swallowed convulsively before continuing on. "I want you to know that I really appreciate everything you've done for me, not just today, but before, too. You're a really sweet, amazing guy, and I'm glad that we're friends, so thank you," she finished softly, almost sadly.
Friends? Well, I suppose we were, but I wanted so much more than merely friendship with her. I said nothing as she leaned in closer and closer, my heart pounding in my chest as she wrapped me into a tight embrace. Sure, it wasn't the first time we had ever hugged, but somehow, this time, it felt different…more. It was as if she poured her whole being into it, her fingers gripping my back to the point of pain, but it was the sort of pain I welcomed. Hope rose in my chest as I stood still, basking in her warmth, until she loosened her hold on me. I expected her to say something, but no, she did something else I totally didn't see coming.
She kissed me.
Fine, it was only on my cheek, and it was more of a friendly thank-you-for-being-a-wonderful-bastard kind of kiss but….wow. It was soft, it was romantic, and it was incredibly sweet but all too soon, it was over. I could only stare down at her in wonder as she pulled back, and then she left me standing stock still in my kitchen without another word. My hand raised to cover my tingling cheek on its own accord as my buddies re-entered the room right after Elena left, my eyes still trained on the archway where she walked through just a few seconds ago.
I exhaled the breath I had been holding in a rush, feeling my entire body go slack as my energy drained out of me. I sank down backwards, not caring whether I would fall on my ass to the floor, but then I heard the scraping of the legs of a chair as Elijah swiftly pushed one directly beneath me just as I landed somewhat clumsily.
"She's driving me crazy, but I like it," I breathed out.
Ric seemed a little puzzled by my reaction, as proven when he laid his palm flat against my forehead as if checking for a high temperature. "What happened? What did she say?"
"She thanked me for Uncle Maurice and kissed my cheek," I sighed with a dreamy smile on my lips. "I swear I'm going to marry that girl one day," I declared seriously without a doubt in my mind.
My sandy-haired best friend did a double-take upon hearing the M-word. "Really? After one peck on the cheek? Man, you're cheap! At least wait till you've had se-"
"Damon Salvatore!" a booming female voice suddenly came from the archway, and then a blonde avenging angel swooped into the kitchen. I could almost see smoke coming out of her ears. Uh oh. "Please tell me you didn't announce in front of Elena that you love me! Tell me that you have a brain somewhere in that gorgeous head of yours, even if it's just a tiny lump of coal!" she exclaimed heatedly, her eyes flashing with frustration.
For a second there, I was afraid for my life. I could handle Chatterbox Caroline, or even Energizer Bunny Caroline, but an Angry Caroline? Promptly, I stood up and hid behind my two wingmen, both equally as wary of her.
"Wh-what the hell are you talking about?"
The blonde actually stamped her foot impatiently as she seethed in front of us. "Elena just told me that she heard you telling these two that you love me, and then she said that you're such a sweet, amazing guy and that you deserve to be happy," she said with a disgusted expression as she pointed her forefinger down her throat and made gagging faces after each compliment. I should have been affronted by her disgust, but I was more preoccupied with this sudden development. "Did you or did you not say out loud, in English, the L-word and my name in the same sentence?"
Swallowing nervously, I exchanged glances with my two wingmen and nodded. "I may have said that you're awesome and that we all can't help but to love you, but I didn't know that Elena heard me. It was a compliment, not a declaration of feelings! I love you like how I love Pig, you know, with a little annoyance mixed in with a healthy dose of disgust! Was that not okay?" I asked, rapidly filled with uncertainty now.
"Not okay?! Not okay is the understatement of the year!" she screeched, pacing around the kitchen now. "Okay, breathe, Caroline. I can figure this out, really, I can. Just because Damon's a moron doesn't mean this can't be fixed. Ughh, he had to go and use the L-word….."
We all watched with reluctant amusement as Blondie gave herself a pep talk, no doubt up to her usual mischief again. So it was a misunderstanding again, similar to when Elena walked in on me and her best friend hugging after the whole Tyler fiasco. We got over that! "Relax, Care, so we'll just explain it to Elena in a jiffy. No big deal," I reassured her with a hopeful smile. She really had to make a mountain out of a molehill sometimes.
"No," she shook her head sadly, pinning me with a genuinely worried look. "You don't understand. She seemed sad, and she actually encouraged us to get together and make each other happy. This wasn't like how it was before, when she walked in on us hugging at my house. She misunderstood that situation too, but this time, I don't know, I felt like something huge is happening to her. I'm usually penile psychic – the ability to sense when a man's thinking with Mr. Helmet Head - and I can tell when something's up, like how yours was up the whole day today," she said, glaring at me with such repugnance that I was actually worried if she knew of my private session in my 'Masturbate Room' earlier. "But I'm also extremely sensitive to a hurting heart, and I could tell that she was really upset earlier. It must be my Cancer star sign; we're incredibly empathic individuals."
Okay, now I was a tiny bit worried. "Are you sure you're not being overdramatic, like more than usual?" It was a fair question and I could feel both Ric and Elijah nodding their heads in agreement.
"I wish! There was just something off with the way she thanked me for letting her stay at my house, and for being my normal awesome self. It didn't hit me at first, but now I can't help but think that it sounded an awful lot like a goodbye."
I gasped when I managed to move past that kiss on my cheek memory and recalled that I received a similar grateful speech from her. "She gave you the same speech too, didn't she?" she asked and I nodded with increasing worry. "Alright, that's it, no more being Mr. Wishy Washy, Damon. I'm going to look for her and I'm gonna bring her right back here, and you are going to sit her down and tell her that you're in love with her. And then, you are going to sweep her off her feet, dip her low, kiss her and let her know how eager you are to have her babies!"
With that emphatic declaration, she disappeared into the crowd in the living room with a flash of blonde curls. A chuckle came from my right side, followed by Ric's gleeful voice. "You were right, Damon. I can see how she'd bring Stef out of his funk. She's just a bundle of fun, that one!"
Just then, another brunette came gliding into the kitchen. "Sorry I'm late, boys. Had an emergency with a patient," Meredith announced as she removed her coat, revealing a nurse's outfit she must have borrowed from one of the hospital staff.
"You're three hours late to my party and you can't even put on a slutty nurse outfit?" I asked with a disappointed frown, pretending that I wasn't completely confused about what I was going to say to Elena when Blondie dragged her back here.
"My patient just died on my watch, so I was in no mood to go home and change. Besides, why am I the only one in costume? Isn't this supposed to be a Halloween cum Christmas party?" she asked as her gaze swept across the three of us and then to the living room.
I lifted a brow and made a sweeping gesture at my apparel. "Umm, I'm Simon Cowell. Can you not tell from my impossibly tight black shirt, blue jeans and perky man-nipples?" Seriously, what was taking Blondie so long? It was becoming such a chore, pretending to be in a good mood when my head was in turmoil.
"Isn't that what you wear on a daily basis?" Elijah piped in with a grin. "I'm here as a normal pedestrian, as opposed to my regular Detective Mikaelson look. Isn't this groovy, baby?" Man, I wished that Elena would get here soon, because I'd rather be uncomfortable spilling my true feelings for her than to listen to Elijah's failed Austin Powers impression.
Not to be outdone, Ric waved his hands excitedly and pointed to his belt with the mistletoe attached to it. "Honey, look what I got! We're supposed to kiss under the mistletoe at the stroke of midnight, right?" It was official; my best friend is a pervert. I found myself envying him because he had someone like Meredith to be perverted with. I wondered if I could have that with Elena someday.
"Yes, of course, right after you take that belt off and hold it over your head. We don't even need to wait until midnight," she replied with a broad grin, proving why she had the brains to be a doctor while the rest of us were mere mortals.
"Damon, I can't find her!" Blondie proclaimed as she rushed over once again. "I don't think Elena's anywhere in the mansion."
"Oh, I saw her leaving as I was coming in. I was going to ask why she left just minutes before midnight," Meredith said.
Elena left? But how? And why? "She doesn't have a ride anywhere, does she?" I wondered, feeling panic rising in my chest now. For a fleeting second, I had a vision of her being kidnapped right in front of my driveway and it scared the hell out of me.
"I saw her getting into Matt Donovan's truck as I pulled up, but I didn't get a chance to talk to her. Did something happen?"
Donovan? My bartender, Donovan? Damn it, I should have given him that discount!
Blondie released a loud groan, shaking her head helplessly. "I knew it! See, I told you I was psychic! I knew she was upset, but I didn't think that she'd leave. Damon, we have to look for her, come on," she ordered, tugging at my arm to move and so I did, automatically without further hesitation. It was almost midnight and if we hurried, and drove like maniacs, there was a chance that we would make it to Blondie's house just in time for Christmas. Ric's mistletoe suggestion seemed like a great idea right about now, too.
"Damon, there you are! I need to ask you something," Stefan appeared beside me as if by magic as soon as I crossed over the kitchen archway. Jeez, what was with all the cock-blocking going on today? That was twice now that my little brother stood in the way of me getting to Elena! If he wasn't my brother, I'd probably flash him my longest finger already!
"Umm, not exactly the best time, brother. I need to discuss something with Elena," I flashed him an absentminded smile and clapped him on the back and made a move towards a very impatient Caroline.
To my surprise, Stefan smiled shyly at me and held out an arm to stop me. "That's exactly who I wanted to ask about," he announced a little timidly, piquing my interest. I signaled for Blondie to go ahead without me and that I'd catch up, and then turned back to study my brother. He seemed to be blushing and jittery, as if he was reluctant to address a topic he wasn't comfortable with.
"You guys are close friends, right? I mean, you can talk to her about stuff like what happened to mom and about what dad did?" he asked hesitantly, and then I nodded wordlessly as I waited for the punch line. He was studying to be lawyer, so I knew that he had a point somewhere. It was just a matter of when he'd get there.
"Earlier, on the dance floor and also during the afternoon when I accompanied her to find a bathroom, we talked about some stuff, like our past and I was surprised that you actually told her about what happened to our family. She seemed to be able to understand it on a level unlike anyone ever has before, and she gave me some advice. Advice about you, actually."
Whoa. Elena advised him about me? "Wh-what did she say, exactly?" Despite my urgency to get to her, I couldn't leave now that Stefan and I were having a normal conversation. Plus, I was really curious about the advice that she gave him that made him able to open up and talk about the past like it was no longer a sore subject between us.
"She basically made me realize that the past should remain in the past, and that I shouldn't be holding a grudge against you for something that happened nine years ago. No, hear me out, Damon," he held up his palm to stop me as I began to interrupt him. "I suppose I did blame you when Mother died, even though I knew that you had a very good reason to stay away after everything Father did to you. Elena told me that you still feel guilty and responsible for what happened, but I want you to know that I no longer blame you. I was angry, yeah, but I know that it wasn't your fault. Mother's death wasn't your fault, Damon, so you shouldn't keep punishing yourself for having the strength to leave when she couldn't. It was Mom's choices that led to her death, not yours and I'm sorry for not seeing that sooner."
To say that I was shocked speechless was an understatement. This was raw emotion he was showing me, and he was talking about it like a calm adult, no judgement in his tone, no anger, and most of all, no bitterness. For the first time since we became orphans, he was looking at me openly, his green eyes clear of blame and anguish. I knew that this was the turning point for my relationship with my brother, and it could be the very chance I wanted from him to reinforce our bonds of brotherhood, to move past our childhood tragedy and become best friends again. It was what I had waited nine years for.
"You got all that just from one conversation with Elena?" I chuckled with relief. Honestly, will that girl ever cease to amaze me?
Stefan released a chuckle of his own, looking down to the floor as if he was embarrassed by something. "She just has a way about her that seemed different from other girls," he answered simply, and I nodded my head in agreement. Yup, it was the power of one Elena Gilbert! "There's also something else I wanted to ask you. Since you're such good friends with her, do you think it'll be okay if you gave me her number? I'm thinking of asking her out on a date this New Year's Eve. I would have asked her directly, but I can't seem to find her."
I stared at my brother with my mouth hanging open, unable to believe my ears. A date? With Elena? I stayed motionless and silent for a long time, trying to process the idea that my brother was interested in a woman I was in love with. I couldn't make sense of it. It didn't compute. Was this also a belated April Fool's joke played by Caroline or the guys? Was it just a nightmare and why couldn't I wake up from it?
My day started with me feeling like it was the happiest day of my life. I was so excited to spend the whole day with my close friends and the woman I would die for. How the hell did I end up here, with a severe ache in my chest and resisting screaming out in pain?
Yes, the plan was to get my brother to meet the two new women in my life. I just didn't count on him falling in love with the wrong one. The one that was supposed to be mine.
The saddest part of it was, she was never mine to begin with.
I muttered some lame excuse to Stefan and walked back upstairs to my room dejectedly, completely forgetting that I had somewhere else to be. Caroline was waiting for me, but I couldn't bring myself to care at the moment. Elena got a ride home with a friend, so she was safe for now. She misunderstood my relationship with her best friend and that was probably why she decided to bail the party and went back to the Forbes' residence to sulk. Caroline would find her and explain that it was all a big mistake.
But now I had an even bigger dilemma in my hands. One was a woman I had sworn to protect and in the process, found myself completely falling in love with. And the other was my own brother, the only family I had left who had a difficult time connecting to anyone since childhood. Now he finally started feeling something for someone else, and he was happy for once. If it was any other person, I would have been overjoyed that he was able to connect with her so deeply and so fast, and as a result of that, even our brotherly relationship was on the road to recovery. My brother had to be the most important person in my life, his happiness was my utmost priority. I couldn't be selfish with him and deny him that chance.
But then again, there was Elena…..
Downstairs, I could hear sounds of merriment as the seconds drew nearer to midnight. The laughter and shouts reminded me of the present I had prepared for Elena, and it was sitting on top of my bed, perfectly wrapped with red and white ribbons and a festive wrapping paper. Thanks to Elijah, I was her Secret Santa and I couldn't wait to see her expression when I presented her with part one of her gift, something that she had undoubtedly been missing, and perhaps thought she'd never see again. As for the second part of her gift, well, it was something that meant a lot to me and I couldn't see anyone other than Elena having it.
I approached my bed slowly and sank down on it wearily. Reaching over to lift the gift, I tore through the ribbons and wrapping before I removed the contents, holding them gingerly in my palms. My eyes softened at the sight of the newly 'healed' teddy bear, Mr. Cuddles, looking especially chubby with extra cotton stuffing I had some people put in. After Lockwood's violent encounter with him, I had him sent to a special stuffed toys hospital, where they specialized in repairing and mending 'broken' dolls and such. It cost a lot, but it was worth it just to see the look of delight on Elena's face when I returned her bear to her.
The other item in my palm belonged to my mother; an antique locket with Elena's birthstone. Their birthdays shared the same month, so it was fitting that my mother's most prized possession would be given to the only woman I've ever loved. I knew that my mother would want me to give it whoever I deemed worthy of wearing it, probably my future wife, but now, I wasn't so sure anymore. With Stefan's feelings complicating matters between us, I didn't see a way that I could give this to Elena. Not unless I gave it to Stefan to give it to her instead, though it didn't seem right somehow. Nothing did, anymore.
My phone rang loudly suddenly, tearing my attention from the gifts to the ringing device in my jeans pocket. "Hello," I greeted dully, not even bothering to check the caller ID.
"Damon, she's gone. She left." I could barely make out Caroline's shaky voice as she sobbed into the phone.
"What do you mean 'gone'? Where did she go?" I asked distractedly, still feeling numb at the unfolding of recent events.
"I got home just in time to see her leaving with everything she had. She-she left with Mason, Damon. She's going back to him."
This day just kept getting worse as time went on. As if my heart hadn't been broken enough with the idea of potentially losing Elena to my brother, now I had to watch her go back into that death trap she escaped from two weeks ago. This girl wasn't strong…she was foolish! And I was stupid to even think that I could change a thing!
Ignoring the painful sobs coming from the other end of the line, I disconnected the phone and threw it aside as if it was dipped in poison. That's when I heard the start of the countdown to what should have been a magical Christmas filled with joy and cheer. All I felt was an empty void.
A chorus of voices shouted at the top of their lungs, "5…4…3…2…1…Merry Christ-"
"FUCK!" I screamed out in agony as I threw the locket, the bear, the box it came with and even the ribbons towards the farthest corner of my room.
Making a snap decision, I strode towards my underwear drawer and roughly pulled it open, my hand reaching in and rummaged around until I found what I was looking for. When my fingers wrapped around the smooth and cool surface of a bottle, I extracted my hand and studied it, my mind remembering a time when it was all I had left in my life.
I unscrewed the cap and inhaled the aroma like I did thousands of times before. But this time, I placed my lips over the circular opening and tilted my head back, feeling the burn in my throat as I took my first swallow in nine years. The taste of my father's expensive bourbon was foreign and yet familiar at the same time. Then I took another swallow and then another, and another.
Nothing mattered anymore. I was done. So done.
My twitter: cgsa_cher
Thank my beta, the talented Kristi's (tukct81), for her wonderful beta work. I figured multiple Thank Yous would be far more effective than just my one measly thanks.
Happy NINA's Birthday!