Rating: NC-17 with WARNINGS, see first chapter.
Ruby sat on a chair near the old wooden dinner table and sighed heavily. Gods, she was bored. Like crazy, psychosis-inducing bored. She was tired of the same four walls, of the same dozen or more trees surrounding the little cabin, of the same stupid billion blades of grass, even. . . Ugh, I can't do this anymore! She got up from the chair and wandered to the front room, pulling aside the curtain and peering across the clearing and into the forest. She looked at her watch. It would still be another four hours until her Gran got there. She couldn't live like this anymore, and she was going to have to tell her tonight. The self-imposed exile would end.
Red had spent every day, at first anyways, either curled up in her bed in a fetal position, pissed at the world, or angrily gathering fresh herbs for her Gran's diner. If she cried, which she had done a few times, it was always when she was seething with hatred at herself and her situation. It was always in self-loathing, or at her inability to keep Belle safe. She had replayed the Night of Terror a few hundred times in her head, and each time, she made herself out to be worse than the last. Finally, one night, Gran had had enough. She'd brought over dinner that night as usual, but had also included a couple bottles of bourbon. They'd drunk until they couldn't stand and then they'd drunk some more. Ruby had spilled it all and had cried herself empty. And although there had been hell to pay for the hangover she had the next day, she'd found herself smiling for the first time. She was going to be ok. In fact, as she had roused her Gran the next morning from where she'd passed out on the couch, the old woman swatting at her and acting like a big baby being told to go home, her own head throbbing, she'd even laughed out loud. Yeah, she was doing better. The toxicity of what had transpired between her and Belle had finally reached a point where the world was coming back together. And now, she figured it was time for the next step.
Sighing again, more deeply this time, she pulled herself outdoors and back into the streaming sunshine. She needed to keep busy so, for now, she forced herself across the open space, dissolving into the shadow of the trees. She held her little basket, intent on picking some wild onion she'd seen growing about a mile further to the north. She took in her serene surroundings, cool and comforting, and found herself humming. It was time to go back. It had been a month of hatred, anger and loneliness, and now the healing had begun... it was time. Maybe not time to confront Belle yet, as if Belle would ever want to see her again anyways – but back to her life, her things, her people. Somehow, she knew she was being given another chance. For what, she wasn't as sure.
Belle woke early on Thursday, truly expectant for whatever the day might bring her way. It had been a long haul, but she now showered regularly and dressed and fed herself appropriately. Mostly because Dr. Hopper counted on her to be there for him every day, to help him with his research, and had even named her his assistant. She couldn't help it; she beamed with pride at the new title, even if it was subjective and unofficial. It had been exactly two weeks since Dr. Hopper had started coming by her library every day to continue his psychological analysis of Regina Mills. Each day followed a relatively similar pattern; they'd talk some throughout the day, but mostly she fetched books and periodicals and meals for them. She'd also taken to researching her own books at the other end of the table in the downtime, when Archie was consumed by his own work. Her personal research had begun when she'd found the ancient book, had started reading it that night. It turned out to be a basic guide to behavior and habits of werewolves from their old world, The Enchanted Forest, as told by a recluse who had taken his own life into his hands and immersed himself into a pack, with permission, and chronicled their lives for a time. It was fascinating. It was much more narrative than she had expected, but found she rather liked his tone and scientific methodology, as well as the candid horror and delight he would express upon experiencing certain aspects of werewolf life. She had also followed up the information in this tome with this world's depictions of werewolves, trying to find if there were any similarities across all worlds. She was digging herself in as deeply as possible, desperately wanting to understand what had happened to her, and more about the werewolf phenomena in general. And if she was really honest with herself, more about Ruby.
For the first time in weeks, she found herself sitting in the dim library light as the daylight waned, wondering where the day had gone, and thinking about the long-haired brunette, wondering what Ruby might be doing. She found she missed her. Belle had thought of Red, of their past – of times before The Event, of course – numerous times. But this was the first time she'd really wondered where the other woman was right now and what she was doing. If she might be as lonely in all of this as she was. Belle frowned; it gave her an unsettled twist in her stomach to feel this way, knowing she wasn't ready to revisit her feelings for Red just yet. Still, she gained some comfort in knowing she still had any feelings towards the long-legged auburn-haired girl at all. She frowned more deeply and looked up at the clock. Every evening after a takeout dinner from Granny's, Archie always left time in the day for them just to hang out, to give her someone to talk to she supposed, maybe he felt sorry for her, and they would just talk about anything and nothing. She'd come to adore the company. More and more, she'd found herself wanting to open up to him, and she thought that tonight she might finally have gained enough courage. We'll see, she thought as she signaled the doctor that she was headed out to grab their dinner. With the time at hand to spill her guts so close, though, she wasn't sure if she could do it. Her eyebrows knitted together tightly as she slipped out the front door with a quick "Be back in ten!" to Archie.
An hour and a half later, the visage of the to-go boxes scattered over the table, their books interspersed throughout, was a sight to see - possibly something only the truly focused mind could appreciate. Archie pushed back his chair and stretched loudly, as he often did this time of night, and put his hand on his belly. "Well, Granny outdid herself tonight. That was some fine cooking from that old woman," he grinned. He winked at Belle when she looked up, obviously startled at his audacity before realizing he was teasing. He waved her off, grinning madly. "That old broad and I go way back, no worries." Then they were both quiet for a moment, Belle's pencil wiggling absently between her ring and middle fingers. She took another long drink of her iced tea before deciding just to go for it. "Um, Archie, I was wondering if we could talk for a moment about something." Archie looked over at her and smiled. "Of course, although you'll have to bear with me through my food coma." They both smiled before Belle looked down at her notebook, seeking courage. She didn't lift her eyes as she began to talk. "Archie, umm, so... uh..." she trailed off, unable to begin. Maybe this was a mistake. Archie's hand was on hers instinctively, and he quickly moved chairs to be closer to her. "Try again, Belle. It's just me, you're safe, remember?" She looked into his eyes then and somehow the words were there. "Dr. Hopper, do you remember how on that first day you came here weeks ago, you asked me what had happened to me?"
Dr. Hopper simply nodded encouragingly, "Yes, of course. How are you feeling?"
"Better," she responded softly. "You've given me purpose and I don't know where I'd be now if you hadn't." She stopped, unsure of her next statement, not knowing how to make this segway without it being forced. "There's no other way to say this than, well... shit!" She threw her head back towards the ceiling, Archie's hand still encompassing hers, eyes brimming with tears. She closed her lashes tightly as the torrent of emotion began to wash over her cheeks, leaving her exposed and raw and bare. Archie sat there patiently, squeezing her hand gently with one hand, his other hand clutched firmly on the side of her bicep, rubbing gently, waiting for her to continue. After a few moments, she took a deep breath and spoke, "I was sexually assaulted, Archie. Almost a month ago, actually. And well, I'm trying to find my way back from that night, but it's so hard and..." her tears came again and she couldn't stop them, her throat tight, the words difficult to form. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me," she said, getting up, intending to way away. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but, if you'll excuse me, Dr, I forgot that I have an appointment and– " But before she get completely out of her chair and run like she wanted to, her whole body trembling, Hopper grabbed at her wrist and ended the escape. "Belle, stop. Sit. It's ok."
Something in his voice made her pause and he gestured back at the chair next him without releasing her. She sat limply, without the ability to fight anymore, and only then did let her arm go. His face was grave but filled with compassion and she was drawn to it, to being able to finally get this nightmare off her chest. "Belle," he said gently, "I want to hear everything."
Belle covered her face with her hands and sobbed for a while longer while Archie rubbed her back gently, soothingly. He rested his other hand on her knee and waited, occasionally whispering soothing words. Finally the sobs ebbed and she looked into his eyes, overwhelmed by the warmth and kindness she saw there. For another moment, they just sat there and breathed as her hand moved to cover his on her knee and she smiled at him meekly. This is it, Belle, there's no going back, she thought in one final attempt to shut this horrific show and tell down. But her soul wasn't having it, and after soliciting whatever courage she could find, she began to tell him everything.
**A/N: Sorry it's going so slowly, but there's a lot here I've challenged myself to do in this story. So thanks again for all the favorites and adds and reviews! You guys are truly wonderful and it makes writing that much more fun. Not sure when I'll have another update, as I've been feeling less inspired lately, but we'll see. Life is funny like that, you know... sometimes things don't last. It's hard to get back up and move on, especially when it was something special, something important. But don't worry, dear readers, it's very sad but not insurmountable - I will complete this story. These girls are way too special to me to abandon. Also, I've challenged myself and I don't DO "half-assed" so... thanks for your continued support, and you will hopefully be pleasantly surprised with an update soon. Please review if you get a chance, as it inspires me to know people appreciate my work. Ok, that's it - Be good to each other, all of you! xxoo!