Chapter 71: Fears of The Future
Bishop watched Nim as she hurried through the door of the mines and into the night beyond. He knew she was troubled and he thought he knew the reason, or reasons more likely. First of all, he knew that wood elves, as a general rule, detested undead and the mines had been full of those. Not only that, but the weird ghosts of the dead elves and dwarves trapped there were certainly hard to tolerate, especially the weird sisters. But more than any of those things, the story of how their enemy, this King of Shadows, came to be was right at the top of the disturbing list. There was a great deal of similarity between that fool's life and Nim's current one. Bishop knew that it had hit too close to home and that now the elf would be having doubts. He had promised her that if she ever decided to leave, he would help her and he had a feeling that she was very close to the breaking point. He wondered what the others would do if she decided to take off. He doubted they'd just let her go her merry way and wish her safe journeys. No, they would try to stop her and he would have to be ready to intervene should that happen.
Nimbrethil paused on the path leading back down and closed her eyes, breathing deeply of the clean, crisp night air. Those mines had been the worst place she had ever visited, and she knew deep inside that if she kept on her current path, then there would be more places like that for her to face. She had serious doubts now about whether she could do this anymore, even though not following through would cause Solonor to withdraw his favor. Was he worth it? She didn't have an answer for that question and unfortunately no one else would have one either. She had just begun to relax when a quiet voice interrupted her thoughts, causing her to grind her teeth in annoyance.
"Know that the Song Portal is now open and through it we must travel to reach the final statue," Zhjaeve spoke softly from right behind her.
Whirling on the cleric Nim fixed a venomous glare on her. "The gods be damned, don't you ever think about anything else but your precious ritual?" she snarled. "Get a life and leave me alone for a change. I'm tired of your 'know this' and 'know that' crap!" Furious, she stormed away, searching for a suitable tree which she could climb high enough to get away from all of them. Spying a slender birch tree, she hurried over to it and quickly climbed to the smaller and lighter upper branches. She needed time to think without everyone else putting forth their opinions.
"You know, for someone who claims to be so wise and all-knowing, you sure are blind to what's right under your nose gith," Bishop sneered. "Couldn't you see that Nim was upset and kept your trap shut for one day?"
"Know that the time we have is short and waiting would not change the truth of my words," Zhjaeve replied calmly.
"Know that you're skating on thin ice with Nim," Bishop sing-songed mockingly. "She doesn't like you gith, nor does she trust you. The only reason she is keeping you near is that she feels you're witholding things, keeping secrets. You may think you're indespensible but, trust me, you're not. We will eventually find Jerro's Haven and the information we need about our enemy. When that happens, you will become an unwanted and annoying burden. Piss Nim off enough and I don't think you'll like what happens to you then."
"Your words scare me not ranger," Zhjaeve said firmly.
"You think it's just words?" Bishop chuckled grimly. "Let me tell you a story that might just make you a little less confident." By now the rest of their companions had reached them and were standing quietly observing. He could see from their faces that they were uneasy about the conversation he was having. Good, they should be, he thought. "After the little incident with the water trough when we first arrived at the keep, Nim was extremely pissed off at all of us, but even more so at me, for obvious reasons. She snuck away from the keep that night and went into the woods. I guess a fit of madness took hold of me, cause like an idiot, I decided to follow her. If I had been thinking with my head and not my dick, I would have stayed all snug and warm in our room at the inn. Needless to say, Nim got the upper hand and put me into a most compromising position." Unconsciously, his hand went to his throat at the memory. "The only thing that kept her from cutting my throat that night was that I managed, somehow, to amuse her which made her rethink things a little. She didn't let me off scott free, no way. However, she did get me to agree to a few things that would appease her. Now, if she could be that ready, willing and able to kill someone she acutally likes, what do you think of your chances gith?"
"What in the hells!" Khelgar sputtered. "Is there no end to your lies ranger?"
Bishop glared at the dwarf, his eyes cold and hard. "You think I would lie about something that humiliating dwarf?" he growled. "Believe what you want, but you're fools to think that Nim is not capable of such a thing. She is a predator with a strong instinct for self preservation. Think about what you know about other predators and then tell me she wouldn't be capable of it. Protecting her territory and surviving any way she can is of utmost importance to her. Nothing and no one means more to her, not even her friends or family." With those words, he strode off in the direction she had gone. He would wait quietly and just be there should she decide she wanted to talk to someone.
"I believe him," Casavir said with a sigh. He saw the looks of doubt on the others' faces. "We have denied it for long enough. We can no longer blind ourselves to the truth. No matter how much we might wish otherwise, we cannot ignore the fact that everything Nim is doing is not her choice. She is being forced along this path by us, by events of her past, by Nasher, and even by the god she serves. Would any of us be happy to have our free will so chained?" He saw them look down at their feet. "She is under a great deal of pressure and if we push her too hard, too fast, then she will react just like any other wild animal that has been caged. She will attack with all her strength and gain her freedom or die trying. I don't want to see that happen."
"Then what do you suggest we do Casavir?" Sand spoke up sarcastically. "Let her go off and do whatever she wants, the consequences be damned?"
"Know that if such does occur then our worlds are doomed," Zhjaeve interjected, her voice tinged with nervousness now.
Casavir turned to the cleric and was unable to keep the anger from his voice. "I too believe that you have not been entirely forthcoming with all that you know. I do not know your purpose in this, but I do know that such a course of action would only serve to strengthen Nim's suspicions and deepen her mistrust. If you believe that you can extend your usefulness to us by such actions then you should rethink it. Nim will not tolerate such things for long, and the ranger is correct that you are not the only source of information about the shards, the sword of gith, or the ritual. Ammon Jerro knew of such things and Aldanon and his staff have been working diligently on discovering the location of his haven. If you have not been completely honest with Nim by that point, then it is highly likely that you will find yourself back in a cell."
"But Nim wouldn't actually harm any of us, would she?" Neeshka asked, her voice squeaking with worry. "I mean, we're her friends and all, we've helped her and stood by her. She wouldn't just walk away and abandon us to fend for ourselves or kill us or, or," her voice trailed off.
"She would if her own survival was at stake," Shandra said softly, placing a soothing hand on the tiefling's shoulder. "I know that we can find some way of making sure that doesn't happen, as long as we do as Casavir said and don't push her. We need to give her room and time to think the situation through for herself. Nothing we say or do can make her move forward if she doesn't believe in her heart that she is doing the right thing. As for what else we can do, well, if we put our heads together and stop trying to change what can't be changed, then I think we can come up with something. We just have to be realistic about the situation. As a farmer you have to work with what the gods give you: bad weather, scavengers, blight and other things. If you just stand there and complain then you won't have a harvest at all. I learned at an early age that you have to be prepared for anything and be ready to adapt to changes or starve during the long winters. We have a reluctant, stubborn and willful leader who is afraid of becoming something other than what she is or what she wants to be. We have to accept that and work with it, not against it."
"I couldn't have said that any better Shandra," Casavir smiled at the farmer. "We have to work together and that means putting aside our own personal feelings. If any of you feel you can't do that then it might be best if you leave." He looked at each one in turn and waited until they all nodded in agreement. "Let us go and set up camp for the night. I doubt that Nim will be making an appearance anytime soon so we should rest while we can."
"Let us hope that any nighttime activity they engage in is out of earshot," Sand muttered. "Shield spells only block so much and I do not want to hear such sounds ever again."
"Eh? What are you talking about?" Khelgar asked.
"You mean you didn't hear those two a couple nights ago?" Neeshka asked in amusement. "You must have been drunker than I thought."
"They gave new meaning to the word "animalistic" that's for sure," Shandra shook her head.
"I will thank you all kindly for not discussing that subject," Snad snapped. He would have to find some time to talk with the elf about her proclivity for engaging in sexual acitvity wherever the mood struck. Some things were not meant to be heard outside of closed doors.
Laughing, they fell in behind the wizard and followed him in search of a camp for the night.
Bishop didn't know how long he had been waiting beneath the tree for his wayward elf, all he knew was that it was lonely and cold without her nearby. Still, he knew that she needed her space right now and he was determined to make sure she got it. If any of the others tried to intrude they would quickly find an arrow in them. The fools still had blinders on regarding Nim. What would it take to open their eyes to the truth? He figured if they hadn't gotten it by now then they never would. He stilled suddenly as the whisper of movement above him alerted him to the fact that the elf was coming down from her high perch. He didn't move from his position against the tree as she landed as quietly as a cat beside him. Looking up into her eyes he could see the turmoil raging inside her. He was caught off guard when she suddenly crawled into his lap and hugged him tightly. As he wrapped his arms around her, he could feel her tension and tried to ease it with soothing strokes.
"Are you alright?" he asked softly as he rubbed a hand across her back. He felt her nod and his own tension eased a little. "Want to talk about it?"
"You know what's upsetting me the most?" Nim asked in a whisper. She didn't expect him to know and so was surprised when he answered her.
"How similar the story of the King of Shadows is to your own?" Bishop murmured and felt her body jerk in surprise. "I think I've gotten to know you pretty well elf so you shouldn't be surprised."
"He did what everyone thought was best," she replied. "He gave himself over to them, mind, body and soul. They took everything from him that made him the person he was and turned him into nothing more than a tool to be used however they saw fit. Somehow they convinced him it was the right way, the only way, just like everyone around me is doing now."
"I made you a promise Nim, do you remember it?" he whispered into her ear.
"Yes," she nodded.
"Say the word and we're gone," he stated firmly. "There are many places we could go where they would have a damned hard time finding us. And just because they all think that you and only you can save them, I'm sure that if you weren't available, that they would eventually come up with some other way to deal with the situation. They may be idiots, but they care just as much about their own survival as the next person."
"I don't know," Nim said, her voice trembling. "It's not just Nasher, the gith, and the rest of them. Solonor also wishes me to continue down the path I'm on."
"So what?" Bishop shrugged. "Is he going to kill you because you don't do what he wants you to do?"
"No, but I'll lose his favor, and that scares me just as much as facing the King of Shadows," Nim shivered slightly and felt his arms pull her closer into his body.
"Well, it's not like he's the only one out there, right?" he snorted. "You've been trying to convince me of the gods existance, and I'm not sure yet if I believe, but there are probably lots of others to follow, if only judging by the numerous churches and such that litter the lands around here."
Nimbrethil sighed and snuggled into him, feeling safe and cherished in his arms. "I just wish Aldanon would hurry up and find that haven of Jerro's. I think that all the answers I am looking for can be found there."
"It's up to you Nim," Bishop shrugged. "I like being with you, so if you want to stay longer and wait it out then that's fine with me. Just wanted to remind you that you do have choices, no matter how hard others try to convince you otherwise."
Nim lifted her head and beamed up at him, feeling better about things all of a sudden. "I think that the luckiest day of my life was that day when I challenged you to prove yourself against the gith that took Shandra. I seriously doubt I would have stayed sane without you here to remind me of things that I keep forgetting."
"Want to go join the others in camp or stay here?" Bishop asked with a smile.
"I want to stay here with you," Nim replied and settled herself comfortably in his lap. It wasn't long before his warmth and his scent lulled her to sleep.
Bishop settled his back more comfortably against the tree and closed his eyes. He had known that she would decide to wait, but he wanted to keep reminding her of her options. He wanted nothing more than to stay with her, wherever she was. Nothing else mattered to him but the woman in his arms, well except maybe that soft hearted fur ball of a companion of his. He felt Karnwyr approach and settle down next to them on windward side, his large size providing a nice buffer to the cool night breeze. He heard a rustle of feathers and looking up, saw Thorondor peering down. He felt rather than heard the bird's approval and smiled slightly. Yup, with the three of them watching out for her, Nim didn't have to worry about losing herself or her identity. Obviously the person who had become their enemy didn't have friends like Nim did. If he had had them, then none of this would be happening. Closing his eyes, he finally allowed his mind to rest and fell into a quiet sleep.