Booth stood gently caressing his Bones. She was safely in his arms and that was all that mattered. The closeness of her to him was all that mattered at that moment. Her sheer beauty was capitulating and captivating, as she stood before him gracefully and blissfully nude. Her wet hair clung tightly around her face and to her breasts hugging her curvaceous body seductively as he turned her around his arms do his eyes were facing her lustful green ones. Underneath the love drunken eyes he could sense the storm inside her brewing, which was bursting and about to wreak havoc on their lives as it exploded.
Booth sighed as he stepped out from underneath the pulsating fall of gushing steaming water to allow it to ease Temperance's troubles. She pretended not to notice how he studied her, but it was hard not notice his chocolate eyes scouring every inch of her unclothed body. Even in her unfathomable sadness her pulchritude was undeniable, it was captivating, motivating, and capitulating as it tainted and tormented him. Her beauty along with intellect and linguistic skills were so unique and exquisite that no other woman could possibly measure up to her, she was idiosyncratic.
Those jovial eyes frowning as he took in her pensive, nostalgic, and serious demeanor. He had known Dr. Temperance Brennan for so long, but never had he seen her in such a state of disarray and vulnerability as she was at that moment. It worried him, yet at the same time he could not help but feel touched and enamored that she had chose him to express such emotions to and open up to. It was an honor, even though it brought pain. in the end it would bring them together which ultimately meant happiness and euphoria. True ever lasting love and euphoria.
Booth grinned slightly as the memory of the day he first met her flooded his memory:
It was seven years ago nearly eight years . Booth had been given his first "big break" as an FBI agent. It involved working a personal case as a favor to the FBI director where his sniper background and training for Desert Storm was most critical. The catch was he had to work with some young "hot-shot" multi-doctorate scientist who belittled every agent and was liability at just twenty-three. But, Booth hastily agreed not knowing it was going to be an interesting start. Booth was twenty-eight at the time and freshly a father, When he meet Bones before she spoke, he was enamored, fascinated and in love. He was with Rebbecca, but this twenty-four year old snippity clueless forensic anthropologist had him before speaking a word.
When she spoke Booth did not hear the smugness other agents complained of, but instead a troubled person. A great eloquent orator, who was charming, witty, be-dazzling, and sexy. Their first case was a success and the Jeffersonian had lent her to him from time to time on a case by case basis. With each case he fell harder for her as their friendship. He was captivated be her resonating mind and her mysterious life. Everything about her was intriguing. From her social oddities and inadequacies he knew even then that he loved her and was destined for.
His constant joking and teasing had bothered her, but now it rather delights her and intrigues her. And that was the downfall of their partnership, because she knew not how to take him, the social situation, and the growing intensity of the feelings she had for him after just a year and a half. But two years later they were working together after he had her arrested upon her return from Guatemala, his charm had persuaded her to return with the promise that she could accompany him into the field and access to interrogation. Now they had been working together so successfully and intently for nearly four and half years.
Bones sighed stepping out of the shower and into a giant towel a towel clad Booth offered. His hands ran lovingly down her sides as he warmed before she left to her room, and he quickly dressed. Bones silently wished the towel would swallow her whole or that she could melt into its warm plush fabric and escape her thoughts. Escape reality for just a little while. But she knew, it was time for her to come clean to Booth. To open up, and tell him the truth. To divulge what had truly been nagging her, eating her alive every waking moment. She would have to make herself complete vulnerable and expose her raw emotions and feelings as she opened. She would divulge her inner most thoughts and feelings, somethings so personal and private that she would never dare to do. Only, her Booth could be trusted.
That emotionally distant person she had striven to be would be diminished. All of those years of building a utopia of perfection and emptiness were wasted. She would be seen as weak and human, just as vulnerable if not more than anyone. All of the barriers to protect herself would crumble slowly and come toppling down upon her in a giant heap of rubble. It was just a matter of if she could pick up the pieces herself. If, Booth would even help her pick up the pieces or would he abandon her, leaving her defenseless.
But as she that hiding in the confines of the towel, as the truth imposed on her she felt so detached from life. She could feel the protective barriers crumbling at that very moment as Booth appeared. His large, muscular arms enveloping her fragile, whimpering figure into a bear hug as she hid her shamed face in his chest. She felt so hollow and empty inside as the mask she wore to protect her facade of life was abandoned just for Booth. She had made up her mind at that moment. She gazed into his chocolate eyes and saw the warmest most encouraging gaze, and she decided it was then he could be trusted to know the truth in its entirety. Him, and no one else.
The pieces crumbled and fell leaving her feeling vulnerable like a lost child as she sobbed into his chest. He held her tightly as the frown and worry on his face grew. The Brennan he knew was invincible but, there she stood eroding and falling apart in his very arms. Booth held back his own tears, as he watched literally fall apart and turn to just ash. He could feel all of her repressed emotions flowing freely through her veins as it pulsated her body. He could feel a deep anger, hate, sadness, sorrow, and loss pulsate and control her as it beat inside her. As those feelings began to pour out of her in the form of tears and screams as she pounded his chest. He cradled her in his arms, rocking her broken figure back and forth as he kissed her head.
"It is okay, or it will be," Booth promised lovingly as he stroked her soothingly. "No, no it won't," Bones whimpered her eyes welling with a fresh onslaught of tears. Her green eyes were now bloodshot and swollen from a heavy flow of tears. The memory and the deeds of what had been done to her were just too ineffable to utter or imagine. How could he assume it was okay? Was he trying to deride her, or was it just her past experiences that led her to think every man would mock her situation?
"Please Bones talk to me, tell me why. Tell me, I will help. I'll make it better," Booth pleaded as he cupped her face in his hands kissing her cheeks as the tears ran down her face. In reply she sniffled trying to hold back tears. "I promise, I am here for you," he vowed as his own eyes started to tear at the sight of Brennan in such a devastated state of being. She was a strong woman, perhaps the strongest person he knew. And, to watch her collapse and fall before him was horrifying. To watch someone he loved in so much pain. "No matte what?" she questioned sniffling as she palmed away the tears from her eyes. "I swear on my life. I promise that no matter what it is, I am here for you. Forever and always," Booth declared.
He could see a faint smile crack over her features just for a second before the sadness returned. The smile was just a facade, a charade. Inside she was hollow and so emotionless. She felt empty and devoid of love and living. All of the animosity of her situation and the pressures and stress that came with opening up were causing her to become atrophied. To admit the situation and final confront all of its buried emotions was a venture she knew she did not want to embrace nor embark upon.
However, the worst part of admitting this incident is that it would weaken her character, she would no longer be so invincible, she would have to be human. Booth would no longer perceive her as Bones the person who was anything but obsequious, but instead he would realize that she had her faults, her flaws, her defects, and was tainted. She was damaged goods, bruised fruit, but was she broken or damaged beyond repair perhaps was the more pertinent and serious matter at hand and up for debate.
Because, at times it felt as if she was broken beyond repair, but then at those times of darkness Booth had given her meaning and hope with that came strength and courage to go on. His words had soothed her, and that was all that had mattered. He knew she was calming herself to speak, he could sense it. He also, sensed her hesitance as her control of the situation had evaporated. It was at of her hands as she could no longer deal with it herself.
Bones had sought out him, though so it made Booth feel honored despite the dread he felt in his gut. Booth felt a deep sense of dread because anything that could effect Brennan in such a way was nothing good, and she had shared a traumatic past that had not effected her as strongly. But somehow, he had feeling it would be linked to the events of her childhood. As well as the same situation, but perhaps worse, or more traumatic because she understood them. Everyone had skeletons, so to say, in their closet he had no doubt this was hers. It would explain all of the changes in her behavior.
Deep inside Brennan was tortured and began to feel overwhelmed with doubt as the events of her past flooded her mind. She recalled them aloud, her voice stoic as the tears flowed freely. There was nothing Booth could say or do stop them because this story killed him inside.
She could not recall exactly when it had began, but it had been long. Too long. It all began sometime after she returned from Guatemala and that fateful day she drew the distinct line between her and Booth vowing to keep her own life sacred and locked up. It was summer and a Friday afternoon when Bones had been working in the FBI building long after Booth had clocked out and left for the weekend to pickup Parker. Bones had thought she was alone, so she had allowed herself to relax and let her guard down as she poured over the evidence boxes and official documents in Booth's office. But, she was anything but alone. Someone was watching her as she worked meticulously, it got him off. It was none other than Booth's boss.
After he stood lurking in the shadows for well over an hour observing and studying the curvaceous Dr. Brennan he revealed himself. But, only when he was certain she was truly only and helpless. Unarmed and unsuspecting. He had, had his eyes on her from the day he had assigned her to Agent Booth.
"Hello Dr. Brennan," his cold voice drawled as he revealed his dark figure from the shadow. His voice was husky and lustful as he pressed his hardened figure against her voluptuous body, allowing her to feel his erection an wanton desire and need for her. "Release me," she demanded as he grabbed her wrists to prevent her from hitting him. He knew all about her infamous skill and training. It would not be his pitfall. "Where would be the fun..." he drawled his tongue flicking out of his mouth against the soft, tender flesh of hers. It felt snake-like to her. "...in that?" he finished inhaling her scent as he worked her into a desk chair.
Once in the chair he cuffed her to it, a sick sadistic grin formed over his lips as his eyes studied her body. His tongue smacked his lips with a sickening sound as he hissed lowly before reaching to unbutton her blouse. Brennan, sensed a moment of weakness a kneed him in the groin. "Play nice," he drawled his serpentine tongue licking his lips as he pinned her legs to the side. Brennan yelled and fought against he bindings as his filthy hands undid her blouse and then slid inside the fabric cupping the bare skin that was not covered by the cloth of her brasserie. Slowly and tortuously he removed her clothing, piece by piece. As each layer disappeared his eyes and hands ravished her body.
She whimpered and screamed, but to her doom and dismay her captor was the only one there beside herself. She fought against the handcuffs until her wrists were red, exposed, and bleeding. This only seemed to fuel his erection as his smile widened and he licked her wounds, tasting her blood. Her legs were now bound to prevent the occasional blows she was able to deal him. It took all of her strength not to cry, but she'd be damned if she would let the bastard see the tears in her eyes.
Or, see the pain and damage he was causing her. He forced her to her knees as he slid his hardened cock into her mouth forcing into her throat, nearly chocking her as he used no care. Once she had gathered her wits and refused to do the proposed deed, she did the only thing logic would dictate. She sunk her teeth into this vile man's phallus. With a yelp, he withdrew kicking her with all of his might.
Brennan could feel her teeth break and the blood flow in her mouth but she spit it out, when he sunk low enough to get in her face to yell. This only angered the man, adding fuel to the fire of the dominate alpha male persona and his need to control the bitch. He reared back and socked her in the face until he was certain she would be immobile and unable to protest. Brennan was able to endure his beating though, but she hid it as she laid there in foggy haze. He then pulled his gun to her and pressed the barrel of the forty-five to her head making sure to dig it in, cutting her head open in the process.
"Either you cooperate, or I will pull the trigger," he growled. Brennan called his bluff and dared him. It was then that they he shoved the barrel of the recently fired gun down her throat. She could taste the slick metal of the recently fired gun. Its sickening oily taste made her want vomit as it told her he was not joking. Not today. "Want to try me, Dr. Brennan?" he chuckled. She whimpered a silently no. And then he raped her right there beating her every time she whimpered or cried. Stealing her hope.
Things continued in much a similar manner for a decent period of time. She withdrew from her friends, and work during that time. And then she dared to fight back, but this time he was prepared. He allowed her to fist fight. She threw him threw a table and he threw her through a window. Then he pulled a knife on her and slit her wrists and body. He dared her to try again. And for awhile, she did not dare fight back, as she nursed the bruises from every encounter and sometimes the knife wounds pending on his mood.
She fights back again, this time he cocks again in her mouth she heard the bullet enter the chamber . But not before his handy work with a knife is left all over her skin, and he penetrates her with the bloody knife when he his done. The next time she fought back, she got a hold of the knife and stabbed him when he pulled it on her. As she gathered her effects to run he snapped the Bones in her wrist and ankle. She was suppose to be on "vacation" for those months.
The next time he visits he shows her that he has located her brother Russ who has family. He threatens to have his men kill them if she does anything. at all. Brennan accepted defeat and withdrew completely into herself. She shut out Angela and Booth almost completely and engulfed herself in only the case. Booth and Angela began to worry, as Brennan stands off, refused to converse, and always covered up. Then the director ended up dead. Brennan later found out her father learned Russ was under surveillance and murdered the FBI director (Booth's boss aka Bones rapist) to protect his family.
The look on Booth's was sheer and utter horror, as he held his Bones close to him. The figure in his arms was sobbing and broken, yet her aura was lighter and relieved. Somehow just telling him had made things better, easier for her. However, it was plainly obvious to Booth that her pert personality seemed to be rapidly diminishing and withering because she had chose to confide in him.
It conflicted and troubled him greatly, because he loved her, no he more than loved her. His feelings were more than amorous but love was the closest word that the language had for what he felt for his Bones, the woman who he was enamored with and who stole his heart. But, he vowed then and there to himself that she would not regret opening up to him, he knew trust was an issue for her. But, he would let her have no regrets and show her the good in men and life.
Booth felt ashamed, and the shame mingled with horror at what she had endured, sorrow, fear, heartbreak for her, and failure for he had not be able to do his duty, to protect her was all inevitably visible as his emotions were saw raw and purely conveyed in his melancholy eyes. The tears flowed slowly from his eyes as he tried to wipe away the ones of his lover, but he made no effort to hide the tears. He was not afraid to show his sensitive side, to show how it had afflicted him, or to show her how she meant the world to him, how she was and would be his everything because he loved and always would love her.
Once he got over the initial shock he found his voice. "I am so sorry I failed you, Temperance," he pleaded for her forgiveness as he clung tightly to her body and she to his. "You-you did not fail me," she sobbed as she wiped away the last of the tears, staring at him with mixed look of confusion as she nuzzled against him. "Yes, yes I did," he replied in a hoarse whispery voice, his tone a few octaves higher as he tried to remained composed holding the grave and serious tone of his words.
"How, how did you fail me?" she yelled her voice raising in confusion and anger as her mind could not grasp the concept and ideology of what he was hinting at. "It was and will always be my duty to protect you. From anything and everything. From physical and mental pain and anguish. It is my job and duty not only as man, and as a friend, but as that man and friend who is so enamored and infatuated with you he would die for you. I should have noticed, and I never should have left you. It is I who have failed you and let you down, for allowing this to happen," Booth declared as the tears he could no longer hold back filled his eyes and flooded down his cheeks as he caressed Brennan's face lovingly.
"That is preposterous. You can't possibly think it is rational that you are obligated to save me. In addition, you did not know how I felt for you or what was going on. So how could I expect you to know and save me. You did not know that even then I loved you as I do now and that is why I did not tell you. So it would not crush you. You could not possibly have known so do not say it is you. Because, it was my own stubborn pride and fear that prevented me from reaching out," Bones retorted and took Booth all of his will power not to chuckle because she was the only person he knew that in a situation like this would use logic and rational thinking.
Her admission of love, she instantly regretted as she had used the word so freely of late when she did not what such a word meant to others. But to her, it had such a negative connotation. But she knew to him it was positive and it meant the world so it was the only thing that she could think of describe that insatiable sensations he made her feel. They were more than euphoric, more than ecstasy, and more than words could ever come close to describing. Yet, just four simple letters seemed to be the closest thing she could come up with to make him understand.
"It is my job, regardless. And I did know you cared for me, because I have always loved you. Soul mates just know these things. Call it fate, call it luck. Call it divine intervention, call it stupidity, or what you will, but I always knew," he whispered as he held her shaking sobbing figure. She wanted to tell him that this idea that it was the alpha Male's duty to protect and guard her as if she were jewel was preposterous, but all that was uttered from her lips was a deep sigh muffled by more sobs. She wanted to tell him there was no fate, and he could not know, not logically. She wanted to tell him things needed to be logical and rational, otherwise events like her past occurred. Yet, silent she remained.
Booth held her as small sounds that seemed like pleas for help escaped her trembling body as she clutched him tightly. His eyes were welling with tears as he held her tight pushing the hair from her eyes, as he looked her in the face. "What can I do for you Bones?' he inquired his eyes telling her he would move mountains, scour the world for her, and kill for her if it meant she would smile or feel elation if only for a moment. "Stay here with me," her soft eyes and voice replied firmly, though it was not a request, a command, or a demand.
No, rather it was a plea and a beg for help, mercy, company, comfort, and the safety of another. "Anything for you Temperance," he whispered his voice cracking under the strain of emotion as he bothered not to hide how upset he was as a few tears fell before her. Yet, he smiled to her reassuringly as if to tell her he was there and that would make everything balance out in the end, which is how she felt. His eyes as he continued to stare pensively at her told her that he had meant every word of what he had said, and that nothing was a lie. That he loved her, heart and soul, they were soul mates, It was fate and a divine intervention that brought him to her. his heavenly sin.
As Booth laid his Bones beside him on the bed, he felt her tremble. He felt sorry for her, as all she had was him. "Is there someone you need me to call?" Booth asked as he lovingly stroked the hair from Temprance's face and the tears from her eyes. "No, who would care?" she whimpered with pain making it obvious that he was all she had as she quickly dressed herself into a charcoal grey tank top, and tight fitting black sweat pants that snugly hugged her curves.
"Your brother, and father. Most of all this person right here," Booth replied his tone serious, but the pain and hurt in his voice could not be masked to make her feel less guilty. "They would not be able to cope with it. Only you could," she whispered back as she wrapped her arms around his waist possessively. "You under estimate your worth to them, their strength, and their love for you. Tempe, they would cope. But more importantly, you need to cope," his voice gently told her as words caressed her gentle feelings.
"I did cope with it," Bones replied her sad hazel eyes now serious as the tears dissipated and the mood changed. "No, no you did not. If you are reacting like this, it could not have been coping. It was suppressing it," Booth pleaded trying to convince her to enlighten her family, and to see them, to let them comfort her as they should. "I did, I do. Everyday since the first rape," she retorted not giving in as tears of anger threatened but she inwardly told herself crying was irrational therefore it was not allowed.
"How ?' he demanded his tone sincere and oozing with concern knowing the answer was not going to be a pleasant one. "I- I just ignore it. Engage in relationships, chose the situations so I have control. To prevent it from occurring again. However, episodes as this occur, and alone I cry until I am numb. and then cope," Bones replied as a matter of factly. "Bones, you and I know, that controlling your sex life is not coping. By having sex, it is quite the opposite," Booth whispered softly as his hands caressed hers, his tone was etched of concern and love as his eyes would not hers look away. Brennan nodded knowingly, she had known that this coping mechanism was faulty beyond comprehension. But, it was the physical closeness of someone she could easily control was what had helped. "I know, but you ... you couldn't... wouldn't understand," she trailed of in frustration; for the first time in her life words had failed Temperance Brennan allowing the irrational to defeat the rational.
"Then explain it to me. Make me understand," Booth whispered soothingly, comfortingly as he eased her tension massaging it away. "I- I just knew it was wrong. But once something like that happens there is no going back. And, and then it is a matter of how to cope with the feelings you have. You feel angry and violated, yet part of it in a messed up way felt right. Natural the closeness of a person. So to cope, you take your anger out on someone you can dominate sexually. It becomes a need of the physical closeness that numbs the pain. Because it makes you feel as though every time it will not be that bad. That not every man is a rapist. And, your next sexually experience will be positive if you chose. It sounds illogical and irrational... and absurd. Because it is, but it worked. It went against what I believed but I did it because it killed the part of me that wanted to die," Brennan tried to explain and Booth nodded showing he vaguely followed her train of thought.
"So.. was all of this with me... just coping?" Booth inquired inhaling and exhaling sharply, dreading what her answer could be. If it was yes than, he was broken. If not, then how could he help her. How could he tell her no for sex, when he knew she was using it only to suppress pain... Would he? Was it even right for him to deny her the chance to feel numb and escape the pain? Even if it meant using him for sex, and committing such a heavenly sin... Such a divine sin... A pleasurable sin... One he would "do" as often as he could if he could... But it was wrong to think of her as such... He would not, however, because he loved her whether or not those feelings were reciprocated.
He felt that his Bones deserved the chance to feel numb or as close to normal as she could even it meant using him, killing him inside, fucking him. To commit a heavenly sin in such a devilish way he would do for her. All for her. "No... how could you think it was?' Bones retorted her posture stiffening as she withdrew his arm which clung possessively around her waist and slid away from him. "I just wanted to be sure. I am sorry," Booth apologized and she accepted his lie. Her lips brushed against his cheeks showing there were no hard feelings, as though she had almost expected him to react as he did perhaps worse. And, of course she had rationally believed he would have, he should have snapped, over reacted or yelled. Not just accepted and apologized.
"Bones?" Booth questioned as he felt her hands begin to gingerly work their way under the covers and into the waistband of his boxers. "Hmm?" she moaned in-between mouthfuls of his neck as she bit him lightly pulling him closer to her. "You can't be serious about this," he whispered swallowing a moan of euphoric, guilty, erotic pleasure as her long, agile, nimble fingers stroked the length of his throbbing member. Her strategy ton "prime" him before performing an oral "examination" was well under its way, and he knew it as his intentions were to stop her. "Why not?" her tone was mock anger and offense as her ministrations continued. In her hands she cupped his manhood and as he opened his mouth to speak, she had felt his aroused cock twitch in her hands.
"Because, you did not open up, just to... to suppress those...those emo-emotion-s ag-gain," Booth stammered as he tried to focus on his words and not the actions going on beneath the covers, he had to wrap his head around the reality of the situation. "I told you, so you would know why I have night terrors and am aggressive in my sleep. Because, I trust you and care about you and need you more than you could ever comprehend. And because, if I wake up to you performing certain ministrations on me and react negatively, you'd know why. Not so you could tell me not have sex until I am fixed. Or so you could shrink me," she replied with a scowl her voice rose in anger as her cheeks flushed red in a flurry of anger and fury.
"I am not trying to shrink you. I just don't want to see that hurt in you again, it hurt me. to see someone so strong, be weakened in such pain. I also think that this just is not the time nor the place for what you are attempting," Booth tried to explain but when the last part had left his mouth he instantly regretted it because even before he saw her pissed of look he knew those words were cruel and harsh as they had rang out, but it had been how he had intended it to sound.
"And what does that mean? My past suddenly changes things? Now that you are certain I was raped, I am no good? Or is it that your boss had me? Or did you know and was this your plan? To have me and then say I am tainted and leave? Because, surely before you did know my past I was a good " thing" for you. Now suddenly, I am off limits now that my past has been aired out. Am I no longer a good fuck? Am I contaminated, tainted? Does it repulse you? Or does it make you angry that I am not some perfect virgin? Because, surely you did not mind fucking me last night, and this morning you were game. If that is so then you are no better than them," Bones retorted her temper and voice beyond the threshold of yelling as she had discarded all intelligent forms of conversing and allowed her anger and feelings of being used to control her.
"That is not what I meant and you know it. All I mean is that now is not appropriate, with my son in the next room. With all these emotions being dredged up, I do not want to take advantage of you being vulnerable emotionally. You may say you want this now, but months from now you could regret it for some reason. And, you will know I took advantage of you, even though you asked. And, if you don't think it is taking advantage I do, I want to make sure next time it isn't because of being upset or anger. I want it to be out of love or passion. I want it to be a chance at a regret free night where if anyone is taken advantage of it is me(a smile flashed his face and hers as she caught the joke and his slight desire for kinky sex). I just do not want you to look back on today and think it was a mistake. Or, to hate me. I could not deal with that, without you. And do not ever think you are just sex to me or a "fuck" as you put it. God. God, Temperance if you only knew how much more, how very, very much more you are to me. God, Bones. You would laugh at that thought. You are so much more than that to me, you are everything, you and Parker. To me sex is the last thing to me you are, I'd rather just see you smile everyday. see your face," Booth explained as he drew her close his hand caressed her thigh lovingly.
Booth noticed a faint smile had cracked over her face as the gears in her head had begun to spin in recognition. In recognition, of what she meant to him, of how he felt, of how safe she was. Of how everything she felt was reciprocated and then some. As he saw this, instantly he had regretted telling her no, not to making love. No to comforting her and easing her pain, because just as she had seen his way he was seeing things as she saw them now, with full comprehension. It was almost satirical or paradoxical. The revelation itself was bitter-sweet, but Booth knew in the end it was most definitely more worthwhile or sweet then bitter, because it brought him closer to her, to her psyche, to her ideals, to her everything.
"Besides Bones, a real man would never let a woman he loved go on his her knees for him," he whispered. "That is riddiculous, I would not be on my knees. Besides, it isn't a sign of being less of a man it is a sign of equality," Bones argued. "How so?" Booth inquired wanting to know what arguement she had for this. "If a man is going to pleasure a woman orally, a woman can do the same. It is a sign of strength as a male to allow equality. Also, society dictates that is more than normal. It is a sign of respect and equality and isn't if you would be forcing me," Bones offered. Booth shrugged and with a sight replied "Fine, but not now. And only because we are equal or maybe you are more than me. I don't disrespect you, so if you want equality instead of a gentleman you can have it here."
Just as the smile had of recognition had crept across her own face as she had allowed it to so, Bones noticed the same one mirrored upon Booth's boyishly charming face. It was as though through some divine intervention all was set equal, as they understood each others suffering. They had gotten as close to walking a mile in the others shoes as they ever would, and the acceptance of their differences was made. " I am sorry," Bones whispered breaking the serene silence as it had made her uneasy and rather queasy.
"Don't be, Temperance. Don't, we both needed to hear each other out. I should not be denying you the right to feel safe, secure, and happy. As long as your positive that this, what you were doing, was what you wanted. What we wanted. That we have no regrets. No secrets, no dread, no could- haves, no should- haves, or what-ifs. We will just have no regrets, for living in the moment, as we wanted. No regrets? Okay," Booth clarified as he held his bones close to him, her delicately agile fingers clasped over his own long, rough, manly hands as he held her hand to his heart.
"Sounds good. But you should have to feel as though you are taking advantage of me. It shouldn't be just about me," Bones replied her lips mere millimeters from his as her hot, heavenly breath danced across his cheeks at those spoken words. "I won't feel that way, as long as you speak. And, we can compromise. Remember, no regrets?" he smiled his charm in high gear as a mischievous glint appeared in his chocolate eyes. "I'd like that, Agent Booth," she purred huskily as she straddled his lap. His face was encompassed fully with that famous ear to ear Cheshire grin revealing those charming and sexy dimples that always had an uncanny ability to melt Bones inside. Whenever, he broke out those dimples she was defenseless and could deny him nothing. He had known this, and chosen this moment to make a request of his Bones, which would benefit her and he knew she would say yes. Because, after the arguing she understood him and the importance of the request he would be making.
"Bones," Booth whispered in a sultry tone to get her attention. "Hmm," she purred as her head jerked up, her lips reluctantly leaving the tender, exposed flesh of his neck she had been suckling upon. "Can you promise two things?" Booth inquired, the first being of utmost importance and the second was of he wanted to treat her. "Depends... on what they are," Bones replied her husky, lustful tone drawled out in a manner that told Booth she would do anything within reason for him. Her hazel green eyes, were glazed over in a mist of lust, love, desire, and admiration for the man whose lap she was sitting upon straddling. "Promise me that, you just won't blow off seeking help. Open to your family. Get help. For you. For us," he pleaded his suave tone was smooth and sincere as he refused to let her eyes avert from his.
She had recognized defeat and nodded her head simply, she cared for him and the pain was ever so evident on his. It was etched on his face and she could feel it inside of her as well for the first time in a long time, therefore help was the only viable option. She cared for the charming man before him, felt a pang of lust and bubbly feeling for him. She declared her love for him, but she did not know if she did because, to her love was an irrational disposable emotional. It was something a person told another person to get in their pants and then leave them broken, or at least so she had observed. All of her experiences with this ideation whether it be familiar or romantic had ended up in pain. How could she possible associate that with him? He, who made her, Dr, Brennan, feel like no other. Who made her feel like she could have a future beyond a week, he who haunted her dreams, he who was constantly on her mind, who she could not be without...
"What is the other thing you request?" Bones inquired her small grin was flirtatious as Booth could sense her famous impatience kicking in. He smiled to himself as she bit her lips, anxious to get this over with. Booth could tell her mind was on him and the things she wished to do with him. Being discrete was not one of her finer skills. "Promise me that from now on you will let me love you. Make love to you, not as before," Booth whispered his tone was soft and pleading as he looked deep into her emerald with a lustful passion and desire. A part of her was truly apprehensive. How could she concede to make love when she did not what it truly was?
Her only concept of it was distorted by corrupt experiences and then her other perception was the fairy-tale happily ever after Cinderella life. If making love meant she would have to submit to Booth as a lesser being because she was a female she wanted no part. If love meant marrying because she had and listening to the male because society said so, she would never find it. Or if it meant being a mother and a stay at home wife, being a June Cleaver, then no, never. Never because she would not allow it to implement archaic ideations and institutions such as marriage upon her unless she made the compromise and consensus because she needed that person. Not out of need to conform or the basis of a principle concept called love that seemed so irrational.
However, the pleading look of sincere compassion and caring on Seeley Booth's face weakened the stubborn Temperance Brennan as she nodded yes, allowing a faint smile to crack over her face. She allowed herself to put the conteplation of the definition of the term "love" on the backburner for a later time, another day or conversation. Perhaps, she would ask Angela who was wise when it came to matters of this nature, after all it was inevitable that her friend would would aid her with these feelings and this relations because Angela had wanted this as bad as they did.
Booth smiled charmingly his dimples emerged as he locked eyes with his Bones. He took her by the hand his lips met hers. It was not like everbefore, there was no rushing or desperation. Instead there was an award hesitation and passion like two teenagers afraid of being caught as if it were their first time. Which in essence it was. Bones had never made love or felt this way and Booth had never felt such a true love and actually made love to some he cared for heart, mind, body, and soul. Their heads clanged together at first as they both tried to lean in, and Bones grinned in embarrassment. Booth smiled as he leaned in again his lips taking hers, as they had matched up perfectly. He could taste her sweetnes as his tongue slid across her luscious lips which in turned caused a shiver to course throughout Bones' body like electricity. She supressed a moan as he eased her down on to the bed and his lips moved to her exposed neck.
"Booth," she panted as his lips explored every inch of her skin that her clothing did not cover. He was sending shivers down her spine making her feel as she never had. She felt so alive, so arouse, so delighted, and so young. "Yes," he drawled huskily as he finished nipping playfully at her neck and began to work at the weak spot on her earlobe. He knew she had nothing to say, he know how she felt, he could see it in her eyes, and his feelings were obviously reciprocated as his hard was pressed flush against her inner thigh. "I need you," she pleaded a part of her tone was pure desperation which made him worry. His head turned up as he looked in her eyes and saw tears thretening. "What's wrong Tempe?" he begged sitting up as his hands caressed her face and held her.
"I just never felt so.." she started but words could not describe how she felt and the need for closeness she felt him at that moment. "It's okay, Bones. I am not going anywhere," he teased to ease her, and show her he understood with a sympathetic nod. Booth knew that inside his Bones must be torn and confused. she must experiencing love for the first time. He recalled how awkward and confusing it was as he had recalled his first experience with "love", and felt it was nothing compared to what Bones was feeling. Because, then he was an awkward horny, teenager, but she- she was a sophisticated intellectual intellectual adult who rationalized everything and whose beliefs strongly opposed the ideation of love which was the very sensation she was feeling and experiencing yet she did not know it yet. Or, so he was certain.
And, yet somehow she found the courage in her to take his faces in her hands as she pulled his mouth onto hers, as she pushed away the inner turmoil inside of her, Bones knew even in the confusion that her entire person: heart, mind, body, and soul wanted this, wanted Booth. She could feel his hot breath come fast and rugged on the tender flesh below her earlobe as Booth fumbled to remove her tank top. His struggling reminded Bones of some hormonal, sex deprived teenager who was so unfamiliar with the body of a woman.
It was not the sleek an suave Booth she had last night, yet to this gesture there was more intimacy, more meaning and pizzaz. Once the thin fabric that had covered her still damp breasts was removed, Temperance inhaled sharply against the cool air upon her body. She saw a small grin on Booth's face, his eyes on hers having not looked at the nude flesh without her approval. His warm lips touched hers sending a sensation through her body that warmed her every fiber from her toes to head.
Bones eyes told him it was okay to go further. His lips touched her smooth, soft velvet like skin with an intense passion that the heat felt like flames to her heart. His soft tongue left cool streaks around the tender flesh, quickly replaced by the heat and warmth of his breath as his bottom lip continued to trace her body, hitting all of the right spots. He lingered just long enough to illicit a deep moan from her throat that she had failed horribly at muffling so it did not reach Parker's ears. Booth's mouth slowly came to the tender, hypersensitive skin of her aroused nipples and he paused grinning, wanting to make this moment perfect and not the awkwardness it had been.
"Seeley," moaned Temperance her voice a low sexy purr. His hard body stiffened as his head snapped up to meet her soft forgiving eyes. "Yes," he replied as he shifted positions so that his hard was not so noticeable against her petite frame. "I do not need this foreplay. Statistically speaking it is on necessary. I am ready, and you are too, correct me if I am wrong. Typically in most ancient and some more modern civilizations foreplay was considered-," Bones started to go on an anthropological tangent so he silenced her, his soft lips closing down upon hers mid-sentence erasing the thoughts of any civilizations. He could feel her slender fingers fumbling for the clasp on his belt. Her hands shaking as they brushed up against his throbbing, constricted manhood in pants that suddenly seemed several sizes too small in that region. Booth broke his lips from hers, but did not tease in jest as she still fumbled with his belt as he normally would have.
"I can't get this off," Bones sighed and then with a firm yank ripped his belt and began fumbling with the button upon his jeans as his hands began to untie the string that held her sweat pants upon her slender frame. "Hey I liked that belt," Booth teased his a grin showing his dimples sprawled on his face to tell Bones he was joking. She too grinned as he slid off her sweats and she his jeans. Bones quickly removed Booth's shirt as her hands feverishly explored and caressed his muscular body. Her need for him was increasing with every touch, her need to feel him inside of her. To know this was real and not dream, to know Booth would not leave her or hurt, she would know once he was insider. Because according to him it meant he loved her. Bones took the initiative to free Booth of his restricting boxers as he reciprocated the action by sliding away the wet fabric that clung tightly to her curvaceous figure.
Booth positioned himself over Bones as his mouth devoured hers: he could feel her tiny body shiver and tremble shyly in his arms. Internally he smiled as he finally got to experience Bones for who she really was. He could feel her muscular legs wrap around his aroused midsection as her hands ravished his upper body all the while her lips on his. When her lips broke from his, she immediately began to follow his happy trial from his neck to his pants line. Here Booth had stopped her, making his point well known about her giving him any oral pleasure. "Booth," she whispered sultry, her voice heavy and sweet like wildflowers. "Hmm," he moaned as her lips found the spot on the nape of his neck to work their magic.
"I need you inside of me," she whis[ered desperately with in a europhic, meldoic tone. He grinned ear to ear as she moaned softly as he slowly entered her. The feeling of being inside her was stellar, beyond words as he had pushed inside her. The two fit together perfectly. As they tried to move their hips in sync they found a new found clumsly like two shy teenagers. But as Booth pushed further into her core the awkwardness of it all subsided and neither really cared about the little bit that lingered. Her moans and squeals of pleasured were hard to muffle as Booth feared waking Parker. He allowed Bones to moan into his shoulder, he would not deny her the pleasure as her teeth sunk into his tender flesh to muffle the sounds.
The truth was they were one, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. All awkwardness and clumsy mistakes as Booth's lips found her eye instead of her lips was forgiven in a universal stellar, euophoric and exstacy like bliss. This bliss is what Booth called love and making love. "Do you feel that," he whispered to Brennan as she was reaching her peak. "Mhmm," she mumbled as words failed her. "That is love Bones. Real honest to god love. This indiscribeable sensation is called love you are feeling it with me. True and pure love more then most," he explained as he thrust into her allowing her to orgasm as he came inside her very core.
Bones was not sure if she believed in love, but deep in her heart she knew this, this was different. A good different. No one had ever made her feel so stellar so happy, so enamored. No one could ever read her body and inner thoughts like he could. If this feeling was love then perhaps she had it wrong. Just perhaps, she reciprocated the same feeling, but she would need time and Angela's advice to figure just what she felt.
Bones moaned loudly into his shoulder as Booth emptied himself inside her allowing her to reach a euphoric and stellar other realm as he held her tight. Her body shook and moved with him as he held her, and his lips traveling down her neck, stopping to hit her ticklish sport just at the nape of the neck. He loved her, there was no doubt as his lips enveloped her body in a passionate, loving, romantic gesture. As they parted his body seperating from her he allowed the words he had been holding inside to flow. "You feel stellar. God I love you, I really do, Temperance," he whispered as he held her body in his arms as if she were precious jewel.
Feeling awkward and unsure of what to say, Bones wrapped herself in the top sheet of her California King size bed putting a space between her and Booth. She wanted to tell him no one had ever made her feel like this, and this was different than anything she had ever exprienced, but the words would not come. She was sure that what she wanted to say would sound nice, but did not equal to an I love you to Booth. And, the last thing she wanted to do at this moment was mess things up. Her emotions of confliction were scrawled upon her face, and Booth noticed. He understood she was conflicted so he did not push the topic of love and how he felt any further. Instead he was concerned for her well being. "Are you okay?" Booth question as he sat up, the sheets pooling around his nude mid-section/
"Yes, I am okay. You should go check on Parker. I'll be out in a few to make dinner," she replied attempting to hide her false tone and the facade she was putting on. But, Booth could see inside her pain. Silently, he dressed and left Bones to herself; she had turned away from him and silently aloud tears to flow with an occasional muffled sob. She was so unsure of what to say and what to do that she began to cry. It was a rare time when she wished her father was here to converse with. Instead, she would go to Angela for advice.