OVERHEARD: GIRL: "I really like guys with nipples on their faces!"
Friend: "Umm, you meant dimples, right?"
GIRL: "Yeah, nipples!"
I could kiss each and every one of you who voted for me! Why? A Woman's Worth got 2nd place in that Energize W.I.P. Award! This story was just 1 vote behind the first place, but what the heck! The best story won fair and square and 2nd is a major deal! So this is me kissing you, kay? Try not to squirm too much, will ya?
Kiss me back? Maybe?
A Woman's Worth: Chapter EIGHTEEN
(Caroline's POV) - Brief detour to find out what's up with Stefan. Like the dude's suddenly so cool and supportive? Weird!
As a person who cares very deeply about the people in my life, I really don't like it when there's something brewing and yet I'm not a part of it. It goes against my extremely inquisitive nature.
Alright, alright, my busybody nature. Jeez! Po-ta-toe, po-tah-to.
As much as I might have enjoyed attacking unsuspecting 'innocent' muggers as part of girly bonding time with my BFF, there was something peculiar happening with Stefan Salvatore and I intended to get to the bottom of it.
And so there I was, actually passing on watching Elena putting some serious hurt on the town's less upstanding citizens and most importantly, sacrificing the soles of my very expensive shoes as I hurried after the sneaky younger Salvatore. By the time I'd rushed out of the mansion, Stef's car had already pulled out of the driveway, but it was only because it was extremely hard to run fast in heels.
As I struggled to fasten my seat belt, I thought back to the complete one-eighty of his most recent behavior; he seemed less broody and even made an effort to poke fun at his older brother. And now, going on an actual date with a girl?
Clearly, the boy's possessed by a demon.
Of course, this being Mystic Falls, there really aren't that many places where one could take a girl out, so I headed to the Grille, trying my luck to see if my hunch would prove to be right. In fact, my instincts are hardly ever wrong, which was why I once considered a career as a detective or an Investigative Journalist. Hmm, perhaps I could still do it, if I changed my major.
As wrapped up in my own thoughts as I was, I was already pulling up in front of the Mystic Grille when I saw the familiar car parked in front of the building.
Ah-ha, I thought to myself. Mentally patting myself in the back, I approached the entrance to the restaurant cautiously, keeping a lookout for the guy I was spying on, as well as the 'hot blonde' he was supposed to be seeing.
I thought I was the only hot blonde he knew!
My eyes swept across every booth in the place, finding nobody I recognized. Then, I snuck further inside, and that was when I spotted him at the bar, looking very forlorn as he sat on the corner barstool, chatting with a very fair-haired masculine type of person.
"See, when you mentioned a 'date with a hot blonde', I didn't expect it to be Matt Donovan. Well, this explains your 'sexist' remark earlier with Damon," I teased as I approached them, sidling up onto a barstool right beside him before I smiled at the blue-eyed bartender. "Hey, Matty!"
"Hey, Care Bear," my old friend greeted, a dashing smile on his face. "So, a different Salvatore this time, huh? Do we also steal his drinks right from under his nose?"
I giggled out loud at his question, recalling the time he and I ganged up on Damon at this very spot, hijacking his bourbon shots before he could down them. Fun times! "No, we don't. At least not yet. I'll keep you posted if I change my mind," I informed him with a grin, winking mischievously before he wandered away to attend to another customer.
Turning my attention back to Stefan, I watched as he released a silent groan accompanied by a 'Whoops, busted!' expression. "Care," he muttered, closing his eyes while he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Of course it's you. I should've known you'd spy on me."
"Then, why even bother with the lie? Don't people know by now that Caroline Forbes has the all-seeing-eye? Nothing ever escapes me, you know?" I said distractedly while I signaled Matty for a beer. What? It was New Year's Day and I was talking to a Salvatore! Alcohol is a prerequisite! "It's downright insulting that you even thought you'd get away with it."
"I don't mind you knowing, but do you think my brother figured it out? Does he still think that I'm interested in Elena?" he asked.
For a minute there, I thought he was joking and almost laughed but then I saw his anxious expression, casting a worried glance around him as if he expected the dark-haired Salvatore to appear at any moment. Taking pity on him, I denied instantly. "Nah. Damon can be even more clueless than you at times, which is hard to believe, but it's totally true. His brain doesn't work very well around Elena. So this whole 'I-have-a-date' charade is for him?"
"Why? Why do you even think that? Is it so hard to believe that I might be here, waiting for my date to show up and that she's simply…..oh, I don't know, late?"
"Yup," I replied without hesitating. Did he think I was stupid or just having an airhead moment now?
Rolling his eyes with a sigh, he must have decided that it was actually smarter and less time consuming to give up and come clean. "Fine! I did it because I realized that you were right. I spent the past week observing my brother and Elena, and yeah, I can see what you mean. She trusts him, and she obviously needs him in her life, and I think that she brings out his caring side even more than usual. He's great with her," he admitted quietly, almost reluctantly. Hmm, perhaps somebody wasn't completely over his crush on a certain lady just yet.
"Well, if it's any consolation, I think you did good today. A very selfless and brotherly thing by backing off and not letting your own feelings complicate things further," I said reassuringly, giving him an approving pat on his head in a show of support, and then finding myself amazed at how soft his hair was. "Now, all those two idiots need to do now is to let nature take its course and admit they love each other and have adorable babies and move on from this nightmare. God knows Elena needs some happy in her life, considering what she's been through."
Nodding glumly, Stefan drained his beer in a single gulp, and then set the mug down, releasing a loud belch as he did so. "Oops, sorry about that," he hastily apologized, red-faced and adorably sheepish as he clapped his palm over his mouth while flashing me an embarrassed look.
Laughing it off, I did the same thing to my own mug of beer, swallowing a few times until the foamy drink disappeared altogether.
"Watch this," I told him, pulling his attention my way as I thumped on my chest twice with my fist, then let out a deep, lengthy and unladylike burp that reverberated around the room, drawing disgusted looks from the other patrons.
His green eyes lit up like Christmas twinkly lights, his shoulders beginning to shake with laughter at my demonstration as he clapped silently. I bowed graciously at his applause and then our conversations flowed effortlessly from that point onwards, starting with another round of an impromptu burping competition.
By the end of our non-date date, I was definitely the clear winner of the day, as judged by the thoroughly amused but impartial Matt Donovan.
(Elena's POV)
"I-I think I'm ready to talk about Mason now."
My unexpected announcement stopped everything in its tracks the moment I finished uttering them. Damon had stiffened as he leaned back against my chest, and then a pair of piercing blue eyes peered up into mine from his lowered position, the sides of his head rubbing distractingly at my breasts. His upturned face was shockingly close to mine suddenly, our breaths mingling in the narrow space that separated our lips.
If it hadn't been for those pesky strings attached to two tampons that were dangling from his bloody nose, it might even be misconstrued as a potentially romantic moment between us. Sadly though, my accidental victim decided for the both of us that it wasn't, maybe because he preferred to focus more on what I had just announced.
"Really? You want to talk about him now? You mean all this while, all I had to do was get my nuts crushed and be beaten to a pulp to get you to open up to me?" came his teasing voice, more than likely in an attempt to lighten the mood. "In case you can't tell from my facial paralysis and the constant oozing of blood from my nose, I'm actually smiling supportively and eagerly waiting for you to continue."
"I really am sorry, Damon," I apologized once again as I gazed down at him, feeling the guilt creeping back at the amount of pain I had caused him just moments before. Perhaps I was being too hasty about opening up to him about Mason now. I certainly had lousy timing, what with my knack of injuring my confidant and all. With a worried frown, I resumed my previous task of wiping the blood off his face. "Maybe I should get you cleaned up and get Meredith to see if I did any permanent damage before-"
Sensing that I was about to retract my previous statement, his hand shot up as quick as lightning to cover over mine to halt my actions; the hand that had been grabbing at his crotch after my well-aimed punch. That crotch-to-my-hand gesture had me reeling with embarrassment at the direction my impure thoughts had taken. It was downright inappropriate, considering the proximity of our bodies and the way we were physically connected to each other.
"Elena." His quiet admonishment by the simple use of my name startled me from my own musings when I focused my attention back to the conversation at hand. "I'm fine, okay? I might need a few minutes to get everything in working order again, so I'm just going to scoot down," he paused as he cautiously wriggled his way lower until his head rested on my lap, "and get comfortable while you tell me your deep, dark secrets to help distract me from this blinding pain you helped inflict on me, deal?"
I couldn't help myself. There was no way I could ever resist his adorableness and the way he looked from this upside-down view of him on my lap. So, I sat there, smiling down at him as he patted my hand in a comforting gesture, his thumb softly stroking my warm skin.
"Deal," I answered in a whisper.
Before I delved into the dark recesses of my mind for all Mason-related account, I needed to make sure that Damon was looked after first. So, I removed the bloody tampons and tilted his head back to see if the bleeding had stopped. Satisfied that it had, I used the wet cloth to dab at his skin, careful not to cause him any further pain as I concentrated on my task.
I was quiet for a long while, my brain working on overtime as I reluctantly opened the previously sealed imaginary titanium box full of Mason-memories. It was only when Damon reached up to pull at my chin that I realized that I was chewing rather hard on my lower lip.
"Hey, what's going on in that busy head of yours?" he asked softly.
"I-I was just thinking about him."
He nodded and sighed, before asking, "You too, huh? Are you also imagining him being drawn and quartered before burying his body parts in opposite corners of the world before he can come back as a zombie?"
"No, because I'd feel sorry for those corners of the world," I replied with a surprised giggle. "I would imagine that the ground would be toxic and nothing could ever grow on those areas ever again. And then the eco-system would suffer and the lives of thousands would hang in the balance, and that would affect the circle of life and then bring about an apocalypse that would end the reign of men on earth."
"Oh God, I didn't think of that! My bad. Now I feel like I should apologize to the universe for not being more environmentally considerate in my imagination."
He seemed sincerely aghast at his thoughtlessness that I felt the need to comfort him and maybe stroke his ego a little while I struggled to collect my thoughts. "I have a confession to make, and this might come as a surprise, but I think you deserve to know the truth," I told him, purposely averting my eyes to increase his curiosity.
It worked.
He lurched upright in an instant but I pushed him back down and pretended to be occupied with rubbing the cloth at blood stains that were no longer there.
"Talk to me, please. I'm getting a little freaked out here, just in case you haven't noticed," he implored nervously when my hesitation dragged on.
"I-I," I began tentatively, about to make my reveal, but lost my nerve at the last moment. "You-have-good-looking-nostrils-and-I-have-massive -nostril-envy," I blurted out in a single breath instead.
Shit. I couldn't believe that I was about to divulge that I had a teensy-weensy tiny little crush on him when we first met. Only when we first met.
Big fat sweaty liar. Also, big fat coward!
"What?" came his completely flabbergasted response.
Yeah…what? Nostril envy? How did I even-? Oh, maybe that inspiration came from staring at his doubled-holed nose while I was cleaning around them. Now that I was really noticing them consciously, they did look amazingly attractive!
"You know what? Strike that. I never agreed to Mason's proposal," I admitted hurriedly before he started thinking that I was a complete spaz for that odd compliment. The subject matter was Mason, right? Well, I intended to stick to the subject before my inner chicken powers activated without my consent again.
To my complete and utter surprise, Damon didn't seem at all fazed with my disclosure. "Yeah, I kinda figured that out with Care and Donovan the other day. I'm sorry that I jumped to conclusions and went all judgmental on you without giving you a chance to explain. I guess you can tell that I tend to go a little crazy with all things related to that asshole," he answered sheepishly.
I nodded my acceptance of his apology, and then absently played with his tousled hair as I considered how to launch into the whole history with the only other guy I had allowed to get close enough to ruin me for the rest of my life.
"My parents never liked him, you know?"
"Gee, I wonder why? He's as cute as a little Powerpuff Girl!" he declared with a sarcastic roll of his pretty blue eyes.
Grinning down at the insolent man whose hair was beginning to stick out in all directions from my ministrations, I gently poked at him for his jibe. "Come on, you've never met the old Mason, the one who was generous, sweet, loving and kind. He hasn't always been this asshole you seem intent on hating, okay? He used to be a great guy, until-"
"Until he started using violence on you? Until he bullied you into giving in to his every whim and fancy and practically forbade you to see your friends? Until he assaulted you in every way possible? Until he almost killed you?"
Damon's accusations were fast and hard-hitting, each one sending sharp blows to my heart, but I had nothing to say to dispute any of it. I wanted to talk about him, and I expected to hear the Mason-hate because they were all true. But still….it hurt.
"Yes, Damon," I heaved a sad sigh, "until all that happened. But you need to understand why I went back to him, okay? It wasn't because he proposed to me, or because of your supposed relationship with Care. I went back because I still cared about the person he was way back then and I thought that I could show him some support and maybe, just maybe I could bring the old Mason back again. I thought I could save him."
I stopped then, letting my thoughts bring me back to the time when my parents were still alive, and when Mason and I had started getting closer, when our relationship started becoming more than just friends. "He was very well-liked in school, charming, playful, supportive and extremely charismatic. He was the kind of guy who would drop everything he was doing to go and help out a friend, and could always cheer me up when I was feeling down. Kind of like you, in that respect," I said, smiling down at him tenderly as I continued to tug at his hair, brushing his soft curls off his ear.
"Please don't compare me with him….ever," he complained in a gruff tone, not liking what he was hearing at all. Obviously, he still held a great amount of animosity for my ex.
"It was a compliment, believe it or not. It was one of the main reasons why I fell for him, too; he made me laugh," I reminisced, not realizing what I had unknowingly implied. I didn't even notice the bewildered expression that appeared on his face as I continued.
"I couldn't understand why my parents didn't like him when I first introduced him as my boyfriend. My mom thought of him as a smooth-talker, a little too good to be true. She said that no one's that perfect on paper without some kind of flaw. There was nothing I could have said that would convince them otherwise, not even the numerous times I organized a dinner at a nice restaurant so that they could get to know him better. On that very same night that my parents had the accident, we were all together, having a pleasant dinner when my Mom just blurted outright that she didn't approve of us dating. She told him that I was too young to know what I wanted and that I should focus on my studies first. I mean, you can imagine how the rest of the meal went, right? And all along, she was right."
"Well, you know what they say; Mother knows best," Damon quipped with a smirk and then sobered quickly when he caught my guilty expression. "Sometimes, all you see is what the other person wants you to see. And sometimes, it'll take years to really know someone, and even then, they may still surprise you with what they're capable of. You think all serial killers have their foreheads tattooed with their murderous tendencies? But maybe you were right, you know? Maybe he wasn't always such a dick and something happened that made him change. You couldn't have known, right?"
Couldn't I? "What if the signs had been there this whole time but I was just too blind or too stubborn to see them? What if I'm just this dimwit who can't tell right from wrong?" I questioned out loud, more of talking to myself than actually aiming the questions at Damon. "And how could I have loved and lived with someone like that? A-a monster! That means that I was stupid enough to let someone like him into my life, that I was foolish enough to believe everything he told me; every single lie, every single sob story, even believing every pathetic promise he made to me. Don't you see? I'm a mindless moron! I probably have pink cotton candy in my head instead of a brain," I lamented in despair.
I decided right then that I was quitting college. No point continuing now that I was flat-out broke and having missed so many classes that I couldn't even remember the lecturers' names, what more what classes I took. It would be for the best anyway, since Mason was the one who paid for my education, and we've broken up now. I should see if I can get the rest of the fees refunded back to him. I could even start looking for a job, one that pays more than peanuts so that I could afford to rent my own place and get out of the Salvatores' hair.
"Your brains are delicious…I meant, fine," Damon hastily amended, probably still confused over my whole cotton candy reference. It probably made his mouth water since we missed lunch due to our training and his aching ball sacks after. "They are fine and you're not a moron. Stop being so hard on yourself, okay? You're only guilty of one thing, and that is being human. You have a heart of gold, you have compassion, and you are able to look past people's faults and see the good within. Or in Lockwood's case, the good he projected for you to see, but still, you're not the type to easily give up on someone just because he's being a jerk. You should give yourself more credit, Elena. But maybe you should find a guy who deserves you, not one who'll take advantage of those qualities. And someday, you will….but he'll have to get my stamp of approval first if he wants a date with our Miss Elena Gilbert."
He sounded playful when he mentioned that last part, but I couldn't help but be disappointed that he didn't deem himself as being the one who deserved me. Was he trying to gauge my response to that, or was he saying that he was only looking to be friends now because of everything that had happened?
"Dating…bleurgh!" I shuddered as if I was utterly disgusted with the notion. "The idea of going on a date with a guy, and wondering if he's really an evil monster lurking under the nice and normal persona he's wearing….not exactly what I have in mind anytime soon, if ever," I said with conviction.
I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of even being in the same room as a guy when I couldn't even bring myself to stand within five feet of Stefan, Ric or Elijah; men I knew would protect me from harm and that I could trust. It was actually a testament to how much I truly trusted Damon, seeing as I was completely comfortable with his proximity and having his head on my lap as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Wait, so you're saying that you won't even date other guys after all this is over? I mean, not that soon, obviously, but maybe in the future, when you've regained your confidence in the male population in general and when you feel ready to start your own family?" Damon's narrowed gaze suggested that he didn't like what he was hearing, and I could hear the disappointment in his voice.
Shaking my head with a sad smile, I chose to go with what I was really feeling inside and gave him the truth. "I don't really see that as a possible future for me, Damon. With my luck, I'll probably sabotage everything from the start out of fear of trusting someone again. I'll more than likely just end up being this creepy old lady surrounded by dogs, and maybe even a couple of parrots, too."
My defeatist attitude appeared to be the last straw for him, because he scrambled to sit up despite his injuries to scowl at me with disapproval. It felt nice that he seemed to care enough about me to want me to be happy, but I had a hard time taking him seriously at the sight of his hair in that disheveled state. My fingers were itching to be buried in there to mess it up even further.
"That sounds like a really lonely future, Elena," he commented, now sitting face-to-face with me. "I didn't realize that in this past week, you've not only sworn off men and sex, but you've also resorted to a life of being a crazy bird lady. Alone," he stressed.
"I believe I said creepy, not crazy, and of course I won't be alone. I'll still have Care and her grandchildren to play with, and yours too, if I hadn't already ruined that for you with my punch earlier. I can always pop by and teach little Salvatore munchkins how to be bad at Monopoly and tell them all about how their grandpa hugged that Christmas tree."
That was my poor attempt of a joke to lighten the mood but he must have missed the punch line because his frown deepened even more while his lips were now set in a straight line.
"So you've even made plans for my sperm, huh? I'm surprised you haven't chosen a wife for me yet. And just what other epiphanies have you had this week, hmm?" he asked, folding his arms in front of his chest as he leveled me with his eyes.
He really did resemble an annoyed parent at that moment, and made me feel every bit like a rebellious teen who just announced her decision to inject drugs into a vein and join a heavy metal band.
But since we were being all honest, I might as well share my immediate future plans. "Okay, if you really want to know…" I paused briefly to chew on my lip again, thinking twice about getting myself into trouble again with him. I got the feeling that he didn't exactly approve of me being left alone and with no protection, which was precisely why I was hesitating with my answer.
Oh, what the hell! If he got upset, I could just threaten to injure other parts of his body.
"…I'm thinking about quitting college and getting a job," I announced promptly before I could change my mind. "To be honest, I can't afford the fees and I really need some income so that I can rent my own place and be able to afford food and stuff. And whenever I'm not at my full-time job, I also want to help you and Ric out with your cases at the centre or wherever it is you guys work from."
Coming to think of it, I have never heard either of them mention an office or even if they had one. "On a voluntary basis, of course," I added as an afterthought. I didn't know if they were all volunteers or whether they were marginally paid social workers.
After my disclosure, there was a long stretch of silence from the man in front of me. His face took on a pained expression, and for a minute there, I actually thought that he was still in physical pain from earlier, but then the next words out of his mouth proved me wrong.
"I never realized just how bad the damage of what he's done to you might be," he muttered softly. "You're quitting school, you're looking for work, and you're even planning to move out and be on your own. I mean it's like you've given up completely. You're only twenty-one years old and yet you think your life is over before it's even begun. That's just sad, Elena," he said with something akin to pity in his voice.
I was certain that he didn't mean to sound condescending, but I reacted instinctively to his tone rather than his words. He wasn't wrong in his summation but I'll be damned if I was going to be pitied.
"It's not giving up; it's an acceptance of my situation. It's also known as harsh reality, so you can think of me as a quitter, but I see it more as surviving." My voice was clipped and defensive, and I immediately regretted it right after, but I have always been more of a reactor than a thinker anyway.
Damon immediately held his hands up, flashing me his wide baby blues at me before backing off, hastily mumbling out an apology. "Hey, I didn't mean to come off sounding judgy or as if I don't understand, because I do. I had to survive as well, remember? In fact I was much younger than you are and I had a younger brother to be responsible for, too. So, I'm pretty well versed in that whole harsh-reality-thing you mentioned. But I also had good friends and I was not afraid to ask for help when I needed it. Stef and I wouldn't have made it this far if it hadn't been for Ric and his family," he explained hurriedly, effectively ruining my brief defensive moment.
"I've been there, Elena, and I know exactly what you're going through," he went on, reaching over to cover my hands in his own hesitatingly in case I was still upset. "I'm going to give you my opinions whether you want to hear them or not, because I think you might be operating on your emotions right now. You're not wrong, but there are certainly better ways to go about this future you seem so intent on having."
After another brief pause and a searching look, he continued when I seemed to be more inclined to listen to him. "Stay in college. Take a part-time course and get your degree because without it, you're not going to get a good job, unless you want to be stuck at a pink-collared job for the rest of your life. If it's the course fees you're worried about, I can help you with that." He held up a hand when I opened my mouth to argue, shaking his head firmly as a sign to let him finish.
"I'm not giving you the money; I'm just paying it in advance first. You can pay it back by installment once you start working, after we work out some kind of repayment schedule that you're comfortable with. In fact, you made a good suggestion earlier by offering to help with our cases. Ric can afford to pay you – although not much, but it should be enough to cover some of your expenses and stuff. So, you can work with us while you attend night classes," he suggested, and I must admit that it all sounded completely doable.
"As for your accommodation, I'm sure even Caroline would agree that it's best if you stayed right here until you finish college and get a full-time job. In fact, you can just rent the room from us even then. This place is huge, Elena, and we have more space than we know what to do with. If it's privacy you want, then we can move you to a different wing where we might not even run into one another for days, even. Seriously, Stef and I welcome you with open arms, legs and clingy fingers if you'll stay. This gloomy place needs a woman's touch and I know Pig would be crazy happy to have another female in the house. Okay?"
Okay? He was basically offering me a place to stay rent-free for now, part custody of his dog, and getting to help with his cause while pursuing my degree. I mean, how could I not kiss the guy, right?
Damon was waiting anxiously for my reaction, even swaying side to side in his seated position while raising his eyebrows at me. So, when I lunged at him for a hug all of a sudden, he gave a very visible start until he finally realized that I wasn't about to kick his butt, but merely expressing my gratitude.
"I really don't know what I'd do if you weren't here," I mumbled into his neck as I pressed my face into the warm crook, my arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Leaning up swiftly, I pressed an impulsive kiss on his cheek before pulling back to peer up at his shocked features. "How can I ever thank you enough?"
To my amusement, he seemed to have trouble speaking after my spontaneous show of affection that it took him some time – especially with flushed cheeks – to respond. "Just don't ever give up, Elena," he implored, his expression serious. "Not on your dreams, your ambition, or the idea of finding a man worthy of your love some day. The moment you do, you stop fighting, and that means that the bully wins in the end. Lockwood may have hurt you, physically and even emotionally, but don't let him break your spirit, too. Fight back, Elena, because that's the only way you can show that you're stronger than him. Fight back, because he doesn't expect you to. Fight back, because you want him to pay for what he did to you. Because you're not afraid of him, not anymore."
There are no words to describe that feeling inside me after hearing his impassioned speech. It was a profound moment, because he had such faith in me and what I was capable of. There I sat, my arms still loosely circled around his body, sweating buckets in my yoga pants and an old tee shirt, the sun was beating down on us, but that moment was perfect because I had never felt more at ease with anyone else more than I did with him. And he seemed to be looking at me as if I was the strongest person he knew. And in that moment, I felt it.
"For you, I will," I declared with a nod, smiling when I saw his eyes welling up with pride.
The truth is I'd do anything for that man. If only he knew it.
(Damon's POV)
The weeks passed even more rapidly now that the formerly bed-bound brunette was allowed to be out and about, albeit only within the mansion and its premises due to safety precautions. All too soon, it was already February, a whole month after our first self-defense lesson.
We had been focusing on building up her strength steadily and on a daily basis, working up a sweat as we sparred around the garden, testing her reflexes and developing some muscles into her skinny frame.
Elena had pretty much settled in by now, even claiming the Salvatore kitchen as her own as she insisted on preparing all our meals starting from that sunny New Year's Day. None of us made any complaints, however, as she proved to have rediscovered her love and talent for all things culinary-related. If I had thought that the rest of the gang were around a lot before, now they seemed to have permanently moved in, judging by the amount of time they spent at our house and the fact that they never seemed to leave. Perhaps they have even claimed some of the rooms as their own and made copies of the house keys to keep without my knowledge.
I wouldn't have noticed, or even minded, because I was simply enjoying the company too much to put up a fuss. It was really starting to feel as if we were all just one big happy family living under one roof, and it was precisely the atmosphere that I longed for while growing up without either of my parents, and having to bring up my little bro all by myself.
And as an added bonus, I sometimes found myself in the kitchen way too early in the morning, just sitting on a stool and watching as Elena made a pot of coffee and cooked up a storm to prepare breakfast to feed the gang. And then while yawning and scratching at my scruffy jaw during those few minutes when my brain hadn't fully turned on yet, I could even pretend that I had a gorgeous wife and that I was living the life I had always dreamed about.
That was until the 'wife' started acting like a whiny teenager about not being allowed out of the house. "Am I grounded?" she asked one morning right after I had plopped down on my favorite stool at the kitchen island that provided the best view of the sink as well as the stove where she usually stood.
"No, you're not, but you know Elijah doesn't want you out and about in public, not with that monster still alive and breathing." Of course, I was referring to Lockwood, who remained at large still, no thanks to the pouty woman in front of me.
For the past month, she rarely went out of the house, and the only couple of times that she did go out - both times to the grocery store to stock up on…well, groceries – she literally had armed guards surrounding her. There was Elijah with his trusty revolver holstered on his hip, Alaric and his steely gaze at any man who came within ten feet of my charge, and then there's me; armed with my never-used-before pistol and a guard dog a.k.a. Pig. We were basically three men, a dog and our baby, out against the world or otherwise known as 'the very public place'.
I had never been more stressed out than those two trips to the store, keeping my eyes peeled for a glimpse of the rapist. After the second time, I promptly decided that all shopping of the food variety and any of her female necessities were better carried out by Care Bear and my brother. Those two seemed pretty tight recently, to my utmost but pleasant surprise. I didn't realize they had become such good friends in light of all the Elena-sitting I had been doing.
Elena-sitting; it was kind of like babysitting, not the literal meaning of me, sitting on top of her.
"So what?" she countered, bringing my attention back to her and our current argument. "Damon, do you remember that afternoon outside, when you gave me a whole speech about fighting back and being strong against Mason? Well, how should I fight back if I'm just constantly being locked up and surrounded by these walls all the time? You wanted me to live my life, right? How can I live it if I'm not even allowed to go outside?"
Okay, I had to admit that she made valid points. Still, I tried to deflect by deliberately misunderstanding her question. "What do you mean? We go outside all the time, every day for at least a few hours," I told her, feigning a yawn to distract her.
She was not sold, judging by the irritated glare she aimed at me over her shoulders as she mixed some eggs on the mixing bowl. Hey, I knew what it was called, I realized with a start. Suddenly, after weeks of hanging around in the kitchen, I finally managed to familiarize myself with the cooking utensils and various apparatus I had seen her using. Go me!
"Yeah, but that's training and it's still within your property!" she volleyed back like the champion debater she was. "I meant outside, in the real world, without the heavy security detail. Can't I just have one day, just one day, to spend it however I want? Alone?"
I balked as if I had swallowed something nasty, like the charred egg Stefan had once attempted to cook before Elena came into our lives. I couldn't, for the life of me, even remember what we used to eat before she appeared like the Fairy-Godmother of Cooking she is. Anyway, the idea of her traipsing around town, alone and unprotected made me physically ill.
"Not alone, Elena, never alone. Please, it's not that I don't allow you your freedom, but we're all really concerned for you. As comforting as it is to know that you can now defend yourself if need be, I still can't handle the idea of him going anywhere near you or attempting any sort of contact with you. The man's dangerous, you got it? I just don't want you getting hurt, or worse; kidnapped, drugged and killed. The grocery store trips were stressful enough for me, remember?"
The funny thing was that I wasn't even kidding about the stress level on those two occasions. I kept expecting the worst to happen, like a gun firing in the distance to find a dead Elena on the floor, covered with blood, or that I might lose sight of her for a split second and couldn't find her again.
So, I might have an irrational fear of losing her…but what responsible case handler wouldn't?
"I do remember, but if he was going to do anything, don't you think he would have made his move by now? I can't just stay locked up here indefinitely. All I'm asking for is one day! Alright, not even the whole day, maybe just for a couple of hours? Please?" she dragged the last word out like a petulant child throwing a tantrum.
I tried to resist, really I did, but I was not proof against her pleading doe-eyes filled with such hope and anticipation. So I did what any red-blooded American man would do when it came to facing such an irresistible woman; I gave in and offered to accompany her to the ends of the earth if she so wanted. Luckily, her intended destination didn't require a passport or too much mileage on my beloved Camaro.
"I want to visit Anna at the hospital," she had said with a beaming smile.
And what the 'wifey' wants, the 'wifey' gets. Usually.
(At the hospital – Pediatrics Department)
I had never seen her happier. Just the way her skin glowed, the toothless grin that broke upon her small face was enough to make me feel contented.
I was talking about little Anna, who was being fed her lunch by a nurse when Elena and I arrived with a belated Christmas present. Elena had insisted that we didn't show up empty-handed after not being back to see my favorite little girl in months. She had paid for the present herself, with what little money she had left and had chosen a very unique musical instrument for children.
"Merry belated Christmas, Anna!" she announced with a bright grin when the little girl finally managed to tear the wrapping off the box to reveal the present within. "You see, you can record your own songs on the keyboard and you can even play music from the speakers if you wanted. Here, let me show you," she offered excitedly, and proceeded to demonstrate the workings of the toy to Anna.
Watching my two little angels bent over the new toy, one fair-haired, the other a brunette, I studied the startling change in their demeanor around each other as if I was a proud father. In fact, I was perfectly fine with being ignored and even slightly neglected as they bonded with each other in a way that I never could with little Anna. It was then that I knew without a doubt that Elena was meant to be a mother someday, regardless of what she had planned for herself. In my mind, I saw her being surrounded by toddlers instead of rescued strays and feathered friends she was talking about.
"Go on, show Damon what you just played for me," I heard Elena urging the silent girl, who then came over shyly to place her new instrument at my feet. I crouched down low and smiled expectantly at her, ooh-ing and aah-ing at the colorful keyboard as she placed her tiny fingers on the keys. With a brief hesitant look at Elena, Anna then ran her fingers randomly on it, the offkey sound coming out from the speakers accompanied by a preprogrammed disco beat.
Elena exploded into a loud applause and cheered enthusiastically when the music stopped, and I found myself joining in the momentous occasion when I heard Anna's high-pitched giggle for the first time, stunning me with the unexpected sound. Anna had never once spoken out loud or even laughed in my presence before, but I knew that she had once broken her silence when she was with Elena. But now, hearing the happy sound coming out between those tiny lips in person, I was about to sob with happiness and sink down on my knees to thank God for the miracle.
Actually, I should thank God for Elena, for her presence in my life had graced me with several miracles that I never expected to experience. Like my mended relationship with my little brother, or the joys of having our little makeshift family in the house that I used to associate with pain, sadness and death. Now it was a house full of life, laughter and love, and it was all because of her.
My miracle.
I was pretty much reduced to a gooey mess by the time Anna grew bored of her toy, and I could only watch helplessly with a ridiculous grin on my face as the little blonde gave Elena's hair a good brushing. "Where long hair?" she asked in an unfamiliar voice at the sight of Elena's much shorter do, her expression one of puzzlement. If I was stunned to hear her laughter, then I was shocked speechless to hear her speak for the first time in my presence.
"You mean 'What happened to your long hair?', don't you?" Elena corrected gently, and it reminded me of something only a very maternal person would do. She never treated Anna as if she was a simple-minded child, or a little girl with speech impairment. That was what I loved about Elena. She was just a very natural and loving caregiver. "I had it cut. Don't you like it?" she asked while turning her head from side-to-side as if the girl's opinion was one of utmost importance.
Anna shook her head in an honest assessment, not bothering to spare Elena's feelings. My brunette angel took it in stride, and chuckled merrily before announcing that she will then allow it to grow long again until the child approved.
Before we knew it, we had been at the hospital for four whole hours, all spent laughing and joking among all three of us. Then it was time to go because it was nap time for the child, as reminded by the nurse. Before we could leave, however, Anna reached up towards Elena for a hug voluntarily, and my eyes misted at the sight of the trust and love she held for my girl despite only having met her for the fourth time since I introduced them.
When they finally broke apart, both wearing identical grins on their faces, Anna turned towards me and I watched with astonishment when she placed Elena's hand in mine, as if she was entrusting her new friend to me.
"Happy family," she announced clearly, making both of us exchange a puzzled look as we held hands. Then I almost fell to the floor with shock when she made one more observation, or warning, or whatever the hell it was. "Mason bad man, like Dada, kay?"
I was so sure that my expression was comical then, because my mouth was gaping open, and my eyes must have been huge with apprehension. This little girl knew about Mason? How did she know?
It was downright scary, what just happened, but we couldn't dwell on it then because the nurse appeared again with a disapproving glare at us for taking too long with the girl. It was way past the allowed visitation hours, so with one last parting hug, Elena and I walked hand-in-hand to my car, each of us wrapped in our own thoughts that we had forgotten to let go.
I was still processing everything, from hearing Anna's giggle to hearing her speak for the first time since I met her, and then the unexpectedness of what she said. Even Elena appeared to be pensive, her face turned towards the window with the passing scenery as I drove us home. I would give anything to be able to hear Elena's thoughts right now, but sadly, that nifty little mind trick was limited to Edward Cullen, the fictional broody vampire with hair that could rival my brother's.
I allowed the engine to continue running when we arrived home, neither of us making a move to exit from the vehicle. It felt as if neither of us were able to, after what happened at the hospital that managed to shook us to our core. I felt my phone buzzed silently in my jeans pocket, so I struggled to fish it out in time to see that I had an unanswered call from Caroline, followed a few seconds later by a notification of two unheard voice messages. It was exactly the ice-breaker we needed.
"Mason was with me when I last saw Anna at the hospital, the day I was discharged, actually," Elena said quietly in answer to my unspoken question. "I was saying goodbye to her, and Mason was being himself and was rather rude in her presence. Before I left, she'd shocked me by saying 'Mason, bad man,' out of the blue. That was the first time I had heard her speak, and I told you about it, remember? At the time, I was too excited at hearing her say anything that I didn't realize the implication of what she'd said. I don't know how she could still remember him from before," she said in disbelief.
I understood how she felt, because I was feeling the exact same way. I was right there with her when Anna had said those words again, and yet I was still in shock. "I think children are more astute than we are sometimes, and they see things that adults don't," I began slowly, testing the theory out in my head before I blurted out something that may have sounded like utter rubbish. "Someone like Anna, who is probably more sensitive than other children, could probably pick up a bad vibe off someone like Mason due to her own traumatic past, and that's why she chose that moment to break her silence. I think it was a warning to you."
"Well, then she's officially smarter than me, because it didn't register at the time. See? I told you I was a brainless moron, didn't I?"
I was spared the need to argue when Caroline appeared at the front door of the mansion, her hands placed on her hips, her feet tapping impatiently as she scowled at us, waiting for us to get down from the car. Whoops.
"Umm, Elena," I addressed the woman beside me, understanding finally dawning on me at the sight of the blonde. "I think you better go down and explain to Blondie where we just returned from. We might have caused a slight panic situation with our absence. Just make sure that Elijah hadn't called the whole station to go on a nationwide search for you, huh?"
"Oh, right, but aren't you coming?" Elena enquired as she hastily unbuckled her seatbelt, one hand already on the car door handle.
I gestured to my phone in my other hand, telling her to go ahead first while I checked on my voice messages. As I suspected, the first voice mail had been left by a very distraught Caroline.
"Damon, please tell me you know where Elena is, or at least why she's missing. I came home to find both of you gone, and we're all worried sick! Also, why aren't you answering my call? Are you guys playing hide and seek with us or something? Please call back or I'm calling the cops!" That was her demanding message she had left for me, and I rolled my eyes at her dramatic reaction to everything.
I pressed the delete button to erase the message and waited for the last one, where I expected to hear the same screechy voice as before again.
Boy, was I wrong!
I listened in confusion when I heard Elena's voice, wondering just when the hell she could have called me since she no longer had her mobile phone after Lockwood had broken it back in December. I had spent every day with her since then, and she never mentioned anything about leaving me a message, nor did she have a need to. I was always with her.
"Damon, I know that I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now, and I understand why you're angry at me, but I need to talk you, to explain," her recorded voice had said, making me even more perplexed. Angry at her? When was I ever angry at her? The only time I could think of was-
"I-I care about you, Damon, and knowing that it's all my fault, I –" the voice continued, but then it was abruptly cut off, followed by an ear-splitting sound, as if my phone had been flung against a hard surface, but it didn't make any sense since I was still holding onto it in my hand.
As I continued to listen to the background noise over the ear piece, it suddenly became clear exactly what I was listening to. It was the evidence we were all hoping for, the undisputable proof of Lockwood's crime against Elena. I should be ecstatic that after such a long time of having to accept the fact that he was going to get off scot-free, I now had the perfect opportunity to put him behind bars for a long time.
But I was far from being in a celebratory mood, because I had kept on listening. I heard every single one of Elena's screams, her broken sobs, her pleas for him to stop that fell on deaf ears, all of it. There were also the vivid sounds of what he did to her, lending to my imagination as the scene played in my head like a DVD movie. I could see Elena struggling under him, and then his commanding roar at her to shut up followed by a twig-snapping sound that echoed in my ear. He had slapped her face then; I remembered the bruise on her left cheek and his hand imprint when I found her in a catatonic state in the bathroom.
It was as if it was all happening in front of my eyes, the entire rape scene, and I didn't even realize that I was gripping at my steering so hard, my fingers turned white. I was staring unseeingly out of the car, through my unshed tears as I listened, punishing myself repeatedly as I heard the insults he had hurled at her, her choked pleas of repeated 'No's, her apologies to him even though she'd done nothing wrong.
Lockwood's sneering words at her made my blood boil, especially when he was accusing Elena of cheating on him with me, calling her a slut, his voice getting more and more excited. Then I heard a loud tear, and my mind immediately conjured up the image of her torn shorts I found in that room. My tears spilled out of my eyes as I listened to her wheezing and gasping for breath as he continued to taunt her, demanding that she tell him that she loved him.
Clutching at my heaving chest with one hand, my fingers tightened on my phone, clutching it for dear life until I heard her gulped in breaths again. Despite knowing that Elena made it out alive, I was genuinely worried that he was about to kill her by choking her to death.
Then I collapsed on top of the steering wheel and gave into my own grief when I heard her heart-wrenching scream, presumably when he forcibly entered her without her consent, raping her like the heartless monster he was. I wept for Elena, for the horror she went through, for the darkness she had to endure at the hands of someone she trusted and should have protected her. I cried for her immense strength that made her into the person she became today, being able to laugh and show a child the simplicity of love through a hug, a gentle touch, a kind and genuine smile.
If I hadn't listened to this voice mail, I wouldn't have ever understood just how far she had come, the mountains of obstacles she had overcome by herself. And this was just the tip of the iceberg with her. I was so proud of her then, and my heart swelled to twice its usual size at the thought of my little warrior princess.
Then I heard the three whispered words that rocked my world at that moment, sending shockwaves into my system as I froze in the midst of falling into pieces.
"I…love…him," she had croaked while he was still assaulting her.
Belatedly, I just realized that she was no longer begging for him to stop, but rather, had resigned herself to being a victim of rape. She was unable to fight anymore, and allowed herself the freedom of declaring the truth because she no longer had anything to lose.
She loves me.
I knew it without a shadow of doubt that her declaration of love for the unnamed man had been me, because it was what I hadn't dared to hope, but secretly did anyway. And it was also because the monster had been accusing her of having feelings for me, not any other man. And here it was, the final confirmation that my feelings were mutual, that she loves me. That knowledge gave me a sense of calm that allowed me to sit through the next few minutes of listening to the rest of the recording.
The silence went on even after I was sure everything was finally over and that he had left her alone, because I couldn't hear anything else. I dragged the phone from my ear with a trembling hand, peering at the screen that showed that I had been listening for the past forty minutes. I had no idea how much longer it could go on, assuming that her phone had remained connected the entire time despite the broken screen, and that it could continue until the battery went flat.
I had already heard everything that I needed to hear. I had the evidence in my hand, and the knowledge of her love. It was enough.
Now, it was just a matter of what I was going to do with either of that information.
Oooh, I'm excited to hear your thoughts on this chapter. Were you bored to death? Excited for the next update? Wondering what Damon would do next? How his balls were doing? (One's bigger than the other, by the way…)
Twitter: cgsa_cher
Yoohoo! Beloved beta KRISTI (tukct81)? Are you okay? Do you want to do me any bodily harm? I hope not. Thank you sooooo much, anyway!
Random Thoughts: I sometimes YouTube videos of snakes in toilet bowls and adorable puppies. Or I'd watch blooper reels of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Not sure which one is more enjoyable.