Chapter 6

"Damn it," Draco growled. The plan for Slughorn to give the bottle of Malt to Dumbledore, had failed miserably. How was he to know that the old bat would be selfish enough to want to keep the bottle to himself, especially after Draco had confounded him? He was supposed to know he would use the bottle on Weasley and send him to the hospital?

"Well at least there might be one less Weasel in the world," Blasie offered, sensing his friend's foul mood.

"Potter saved him. We're still burdened with the task of having too many of them," Theo grumbled.

As much as he appreciated the attempt his friends were making, Draco knew it wasn't going to work. He still felt completely awful over the fact that his efforts were going to waste. It didn't help him either that the letters from his mother were getting more and more frantic. The Dark Lord was getting impatient with the state of Draco's work. And unless he did something soon, something that showed some sort of promise, he was destined for a premature death.

"I just don't get why it didn't work," Draco said annoyed. He had planned it out carefully. Find Slughorn, curse him into giving the drink to Dumbledore. Watch Dumbledore drink the poison, and then he dies. It really wasn't all that complicated.

'I think you now exactly why it did not work,' a voice whispered from within his mind. 'You know the reason why the plan failed, but you are simply too afraid to acknowledge the possibility of such a thing.'

'Shut it," he snapped. The last thing he needed was his so called conscious playing a part in his actions. Lately the voice had become more and more prominent in his mind. For every action that he took part in, the voice had something to say about it. Draco knew that it was the 'goodness' in him trying to surface, but the only thing it would do was put him in danger. And for that reason, he needed it to be as quiet as possible.

'It is because you don't want to kill him. You are reluctant, not because you care about your soul, but because you are not capable of murder. You are too weak to handle such a task Draco. Just give up now, before it is too late for you.'

"Draco?" Theo asked him, snapping him out of the inner war with himself. He looked up to see both of his friends staring at him for some sort of response. Damn, he missed the question again. He had to stop zoning out in the middle of conversations, or his friends would guess something was up. And friends or not, the last thing he needed was to have his loyalty questioned. Because if it was, then one way or another He would find out. And once Voldemort did, he would have him killed without the slightest amount of hesitation.

"What?" he asked back, feeling a little confused as to the self-doubt.

"I asked what your next course of action was going to be." Theo asked him, sounding a bit irritated.

"I think I might just go for a walk. Clear my head you know?" Draco said softly. "I'll see you both at dinner."

He noticed the two of them exchange a look but didn't say anything about it. He just needed to get away from it all, and that included avoiding his friends. He knew he was wrong to push them away. They had been nothing but helpful over the last few weeks. Ever since they found out about what he needed to do, they would both accompany him to the restricted section of the library to look up any books on the Vanishing Cabinet. So far the three of them have had no luck, but it was really only a matter of time before the stumbled upon exactly what they needed to finish the task.

It had been a while since he had felt hopeless. As a child, whenever he did something wrong, his father would scold him, and punish him. At first he would cry, but his father had told him it was a sign of weakness, and for that he would be punished. And because of that, he learned how to seal away the pain. He learned how seal away the pain, to the point where he rarely cried. It was simply an emotion that Draco learned to turn off. So why was it that now he felt so weak, and so vulnerable? He felt so useless, like he was going to fail anyway. So why did he even bother trying?

He left the common room, pushing past a few first years. They grumbled at him, but once they saw who he was, they immediately pulled back. They were frightened of him, and of his identity. They all knew what he was capable of, and what he could do to them if he wanted to.

When he was younger, he loved having that sort of power over people. One mention of the Malfoy name could get Draco almost anything in the world if he desired it. But since then, something had changed. He began to despise it, and everything it stood for. He hated the fact that people would bend over backwards to please him, if it meant saving themselves. He felt like a monster for making people do such things.

He headed towards his classroom. Even though Granger knew where it was, she wasn't likely to come there today. With Weasley in the hospital, she would be likely to be fawning over the ginger until forced to leave.

He felt a spark of irritation ignite inside of him. The peasant already had a girlfriend, so why did she still have feelings for him? It made no sense to him. Yes, the girl was a mudblood, but she could have any half-blood or mudblood she wanted. There were plenty out there who were far more worthy of her than him, so why was she so insistent on possessing feelings for him?

He didn't know why he cared, but it bothered him. Lately he seemed to notice her far more than normal, and it was not at all how it was supposed to be.

Draco slammed the door loudly as he sat on the ground of the class. He huddled his knees close to his chest, and for the first time since he was a little boy, he began to sob.

Hermione sat on a chair by the hospital bed. As soon as word got to her that Ron was hurt, she had made her way immediately here.

She held his hand gently in both of her own. Hermione stroked his hand softly, and she listened to Harry recite the details of the event to Dumbledore and McGonagall. She was so happy that Harry had thought of shoving a bezoar down Ron's throat to remove the poison from his system. If he hadn't thought of that, then Ron could be dead. The very thought made Hermione want to break down in sobs.

She took a hand to his hair, and stroked it gently. She had always loved the way the red flowed down his head, shaping his face perfectly. She loved his freckles and how they scattered his face perfectly. But most of all, she was certain that she loved him.

As the professors left to go discuss who may have done such a thing, Harry came and sat down beside her. He placed an arm protectively around her, and brought her into his chest.

"You know who did this don't you?" Harry asked her quietly.

She shook her head. "No, Harry it wasn't him."

"Hermione, you know Malfoy is clearly planning something. And you heard Slughorn, he was supposed to give the bottle to Dumbledore. It was meant to kill him! What if that's what Draco is planning?" Harry said, talking heavily in an undertone. He would have screamed it out, but the last thing he wanted was for everyone to know what they were talking about.

"Harry, I know he is planning something, but this? Isn't that a bit extreme for Voldemort, to want a child to kill the greatest wizard to ever walk the face of the earth? Even Voldemort cannot be that stupid to think a 16 year old can handle such a heavy task," Hermione said calmly.

"I know what it sounds like Hermione. I know just how ridiculous it sounds, for Malfoy to have to kill someone. I mean, I know we all suspected him of being responsible for opening the Chamber of Secrets, but I don't think that he can do this. He doesn't seem like the kind of person who can commit a murder," Harry said hurriedly.

"I don't know Harry. It just seems so hard to believe that someone at this school, especially a student, could be capable of murder," Hermione said hesitantly.

Harry looked like he wanted to say something about it, but he was interrupted by a loud irking shriek. Hermione didn't even need to turn around to see who it was who was behind her. Unfortunately for her, she was proven right.

"What are you doing here?" The voice shrieked again.

"Hello Lavender," she said politely. Harry gave her a nod of acknowledgement, but she did not seem to notice him.

"Don't you act that way with me, Granger. Why are you here?" Lavender screamed.

"Well, as you can see, I'm clearly visiting Ron. He is in the hospital, and I thought it would be nice to come by," she said coolly.

"Why did you find out before me? I'm his girlfriend. I'm the one in love with him. So why am I the last to find out about him? I should be the one sitting there beside him, not you," she said, glaring at the Hermione.

"I'm sorry if no one thought to notify you Lavender. But I do care about him, so I will be here for him. And if you don't like that, then you can leave," Hermione snapped.

"I'm his girlfriend!" Lavender screamed.

"Well I'm his, uh, friend," Hermione said, hesitating. It was only at that moment that she realised that the professors had made their way back over to where they were.

"Don't you give me that. You haven't talked to him in weeks. And now that he's suddenly in the hospital and all special again, you want him!"

Hermione found the urge to laugh at her stupidity, but swallowed instead.

"He's in the hospital you silly girl. He almost died! And the only thing you care about is snogging him? You are definitely very daft."

The adults looked like they wanted to say something to put the cat fight to an end. But at that moment, Ron began to mutter something. It was quiet at first, and neither of them could hear what he was saying.

"Mmmhm," he mumbled.

"Out of my way everyone. He's clearly calling for me, can't you all tell?" Lavender translated the language coming from the boy.

"Her-mi-one," he mumbled softly.

She felt her heart racing, as she heard the words come from his mouth. They sounded like magic, like harmonies that the angels were singing.

She heard a theatrical sob come from the girl beside her.

"I should have known you would steal him from me, you trollop!" Lavender cried. "You adulteress!"

Hermione was astounded by the accusations coming from the mouth of the blonde beside her.

"I did no such thing! If you can't keep your boyfriend, then it is in no way my fault. And if there is one thing I've never done, is sneak around with a boy seeing someone else," Hermione said with dignity.

But her words did not console Lavender, or convince her of her innocence. In fact, the only thing it did was send the girl into a state of more frantic tears.

Lavender burst out the door, crying loudly, as the occupants of the room watched her go.

"Oh my," Dumbledore said. "Love is such a fickle, complicated thing."

Hermione looked back at Ron, taking his hand softly in her own, but he had fallen back into the state of oblivion that he previously was in.

"Draco, how long to you plan to stay in here and mope?" A voice called from the door.

Draco had been sitting there for a couple of hours, unsure of what he should do with his life or how he should proceed.

He looked up to see his Godfather standing in the doorway.

"Severus," he said, acknowledging the man, without looking up from where he was sitting.

Severus walked into the classroom, and sat beside him.

"How did you find me in here?" Draco asked. The only other person who knew he used this room was Granger. And he knew what she was occupied with.

"I have my ways," he said, vaguely.

Draco was still curious to know, but decided against asking.

"How long are you planning on sitting here like a child Draco?" Severus asked him gently.

"A while," he said, as vague as his professor was earlier.

"What's wrong Draco? I know something is the matter and I can help you. And believe it or not, it isn't so I can steal the credit of your task. I have enough fame with the Lord, and trust me when I saw I do not need anything more," he said softly.

"I'm afraid. I do not know how I can complete the task without losing who I am. What if I fail Severus? What if I can't do this, and he kills me, then my mother? I don't know how much longer I can do this Severus, before I fail."

"Draco, you are strong. If any boy is able to complete this task, then it's you!" Severus said, his voice full of pride.

Draco felt worse, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to complete the task. But the sheer guilt of knowing he would be letting down everyone around him by his weakness was almost unbearable.

"You know you don't need to do this Draco. You can say that the feat is too large, or pretend that you were discovered and thrown out of school," Severus said, his voice full of compassion.

"You know him better than I do. Will he accept if I say I can't do it? Will he understand if I say that it's too much of a task for a 16 year old to complete? Of course he wouldn't. Instead, he will have me killed, just as he'll have my entire family killed. You said it yourself that he did not simply choose me randomly, but merely because he wanted to punish my father. How will he react when I tell him that I can't do this?"

Snape hesitated with his answer. "He won't like it. And maybe he will accept your failure with grace. But he probably won't like it either. He will be disappointed. And depending how angry he is with your father, then your life may be spared Draco."

"And if it isn't? What if he tries to kill me? Just because Potter survived the killing curse doesn't mean that I will be able to. What if I do die? Then what will happen."

"What if you joined the Order?" Snape asked suddenly.

Draco burst into laughter, "That's a good one. I really needed the laugh. Thanks Severus."

"I'm serious Draco. I can't say I would like it. You would be renouncing everything you stand for to simply gain protection. You would lose your name, your family, how you were brought up, just to join a bunch of blood traitors. But you would be alive, Draco. It's a hard choice, but it's one you're going to need to make."

Draco couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You would want me to betray everything I've worked so hard to gain? You would want me to give everything up for safety?" Draco asked, confused.

"I'm just giving you something to think about," Snape said cautiously. "If you do though, your secret would be safe with me."

'As safe as anything could be with a Slytherin,' Draco thought to himself.

"I'll have to think about it," he said to his Godfather.

Severus nodded at him, and swiftly left the room, and left him to his thoughts.

'Maybe he's right though. Maybe he should join the Order. But think of the consequences,' he thought to himself. He would be leaving everybody he loved behind, for a cause that he wasn't completely sure that he even supported himself. After all, were mudbloods not beneath him? He was of the purest of the pure lineages in the entire world. He was Draco Malfoy, and he was powerful. So would he change everything he believed in simply in exchange for his life?

But Granger was on that side. She was fighting on the front lines, up by Potter and Weasley. He was irritated with both of them, for allowing someone like her, who would be the first target of the Death Eaters, to fight alongside with them. Was Granger enough to convince him to change sides? Would he give up everything he knew for a mudblood? What was so damn special about her that allowed him to question everything he knew, and believed?

She wasn't very pretty, nor did she stand out among the crowd. The only noticeable thing about him was her sheer brilliance. As much as he hated to admit it, she was in fact smarter than he was. He hated her for that, but it was the truth.

So now, he needed to make a choice on what he wanted to do with his life. And whatever the choice that he made was, then it had the power to influence his entire life, and how it proceeded. He just wished it would be a simpler choice.