Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

I still do not own Chex Mix.

In the middle of JJ's pool, the splash war raged on.

Morgan tackled both of his targets, JJ and Garcia. They screamed and squirmed, and kicked their way free. Morgan decided that although he thought it would be easy, both of them at once would be too much to handle, even for him.

JJ and Garcia shot off in opposite directions and looped back to join in the fray at the middle of the pool. Morgan swam over in pursuit. He spotted JJ, who was hiding behind Prentiss for protection. Prentiss saw him coming and prepared to splash him, but Morgan pushed her violently out of the way and lunged for JJ.

"Reid!" Prentiss screeched. "Morgan punched me!"

Reid, the referee, looked over from where he was sitting at the edge of the pool. "Foul on Morgan," he announced. The penalty was sitting out of the war for two minutes.

Morgan balked. "I did not punch you! You just got in the way of my fist!" Okay, so maybe he had pushed her a little roughly, but he didn't actually punch her, he reasoned. She just had it in for him.

"Morgan, get out of the pool." Reid tried to sound commanding. He failed.

Morgan heaved himself up onto the edge of the pool. He couldn't believe he was taking orders from this kid.

Only Hotch and Rossi were left in the water on the men's team. Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia saw their chance. They lined up across the middle of the pool. Their backs were facing the deep end, effectively locking Hotch and Rossi in the shallow end. The two men were trapped in three and a half feet of water, facing three women who would show no mercy.

"Crap," Rossi realized. "We're screwed."

The girls pounced.

Hotch tried for a second to defend himself, but quickly gave up. Rossi knew better, and retreated across the shallow end. Hotch jogged to catch up.

"To the stairs!" Hotch gasped, out of breath. Rossi followed him over to the corner of the shallow end where the stairs were located. Hotch and Rossi regrouped for what might be their last stand.

"Has it been two minutes yet?" Morgan growled impatiently.

"You have forty-five seconds left," Reid told him. Reid hugged the empty Chex Mix bowl. He stuck his face in it. If he smelled really carefully, he could still pick up the scent of Chex Mix. He opened his eyes and realized that the bowl was translucent. With the bowl on his face, he turned to Morgan.

"Ha, I can see you!" Reid called.

Morgan snatched the bowl from Reid's face and flung it onto the nearest chair.

"Hey!" protested Reid.

"Can I go in yet?" Morgan asked, rather threateningly. His team was weakening; they would fall soon without him.

"Uh… wait for it… wait for it… go!" Reid said, staring at his watch. Good thing his watch was waterproof. Even so, he wasn't about to wear it swimming. In case Morgan planned on dragging him into the pool with him, Reid undid his watch and tossed it over on his lounge chair.

Fortunately, Morgan had planned no such thing. Morgan's mission was to rescue his team. To do so, he would have to break through a wall of females. Morgan smiled. Now, this he could do.

Morgan quickly assessed which of the girls was doing the most damage. That would be Prentiss. He made his way over to the corner. He hooked an arm around Prentiss' middle, dragged her away from the group, and tossed her into the deep end.

Prentiss broke the surface, coughing and hissing angrily. "Will you people stop doing that to me?" she growled.

Morgan laughed and turned back toward his team. With Prentiss out of the way, his team had been able to divide and conquer. Rossi faced Garcia and Hotch faced JJ. Both men were forcing the women back toward the middle of the pool. Morgan smiled. Mission accomplished.

Morgan headed over to help his teammates and splash his targets. Halfway there, he felt a cold hand claw at the back of his neck. Oh, god, he thought, Prentiss is back, and she's not happy.

He turned to face her, only to catch a face full of water. Prentiss splashed him mercilessly. Wave after wave cascaded down his head. This woman was formidable in a splash fight! Next time, Morgan would make sure to be on the same team as her. This time, however, he was struggling to breathe.

Morgan was being forced back by Prentiss. She splashed and splashed him, taking revenge for the discourtesy of throwing her in the deep end without so much as a warning. Morgan opened his eyes, was blinded with pool water, and rubbed them to get the water out. He stumbled backwards and collided with JJ. Good. One of his targets. He turned towards JJ, desperate to get away from Prentiss.

Hotch saw that Morgan was in trouble. To repay the rescue favor given moments before, he abandoned a half-screaming, half-laughing JJ and dodged Morgan, who subsequently knocked JJ over.

Hotch tackled Prentiss and dragged her under the water with him. She squirmed and fought, which was to be expected. Hotch pushed her away to the right and came to the surface for air.

He spotted Prentiss at the far end of the pool, in deep water. She coughed and clung to the edge for support. Hotch was concerned, but only for a moment. After getting all the water out of her lungs, Prentiss dove back in the game, revenge in her eyes.

Hotch decided that this would be a grand time to move out of her way. He ran toward the shallow end. He was yelling, not screaming, he told himself. Definitely not screaming.

Prentiss pounced, tackling him in the shallow water.

Okay, now he was screaming.

Meanwhile, at the ice cream parlor, Kevin and Will were having a peaceful and relaxing day with the boys.

They had chosen a nice table with an umbrella so that they could eat their ice cream outside. Most of the other tables were filled, and the background chatter was pleasant.

Henry had cotton candy-flavored ice cream all over his face, hands, and down the front of his shirt. Despite this, he was having a wonderful time, as small boys seem to do when they're messy.

Jack had ordered chocolate ice cream, and was trying to eat it like an adult would. That meant minimal mess. Unfortunately, the day was hot and the ice cream melted too fast to keep up with. Brown streaks ran down the cone and over his hands.

Will had ordered plain vanilla and had already finished half of his cone. Kevin was working on his black cherry-flavored ice cream.

Jack and Henry were still talking about the stickers that Garcia had given them.

"Frogs can jump two feet high," Jack told Henry. He didn't know that for sure, but it seemed practical.

"Yeah, well, fish can swim, like, a thousand miles per hour!" Henry said. He wanted to win this argument, whether it was an argument or not.

"No, they can't," Jack said.

"They can, too!" Henry cried.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Jack called.

"They are not!" Henry looked down at his swimming trunks. He had insisted on wearing them because Jack was wearing swimming trunks, too. "Anyway, I'm not even wearing pants!" Henry pointed out.

"You are, too," Jack said.

"Am not!"

"You are, because swimming trunks are a type of pants! Liar!" Jack told him.

Henry started to cry. The people at the surrounding tables began to stare.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Jack taunted.

"I'M NOT WEARING PANTS!" Henry screeched.

All conversations ceased. Everyone stared at Henry and his presumed 'family'.

Kevin and Will looked at each other.

"Maybe we should finish our ice cream at the park," Kevin suggested.

"Yeah," Will agreed.

They gathered up the boys and headed to the car. Stares followed them as they walked, making them feel extremely awkward.

At that moment, Kevin decided to never have kids.