"Maybe it would help, if we were hammered."
"No, it wouldn't."
"Are you sure about this?"
"I am not going to change my mind, no matter how many times you ask."
"You're sure?"
"Yes," she nods.
"What if..."
"If you're too afraid to do this, then maybe you should go home."
"I am not afraid."
"Really, because it seems like you are."
"What happens, after this happens?"
"Nothing. Nothing changes. Not right now."
"And you're sure about that?"
"Yes," she nods
"Ok."
"So are we going to do this, or not?"
"The ball is in your court," he replies.
"Abby?"
"Hm?"
"I'm sorry."
"There are rules..."
He cuts her off, "I know that there are rules against apologizing, but you deserve it. I have been an idiot. I should have told you the truth, all along. I shouldn't have waited for years to..."
"To what?"
"I wish that you had known, all along."
"I did."
"You did? But there were other guys."
"What was I supposed to do? Wait around forever, and wait for you to figure our what I already knew? I am patient, but not that patient."
"What if one of them had come in, and swooped you away."
"I was never interested in being swooped away."
"That doesn't mean that someone couldn't have tried."
"They could have, but they didn't. Things never got that serious."
"And why not?"
"Because none of them were you."
He stands perfectly still, outside, in the dark.
"I really screwed this up," he admits.
He gets no response, not that he expected to. He was talking to her headstone. She wasn't there. It was just her memory, that lived there. It didn't make things any easier, though.
"Jen, I am sorry. I should have told you the truth. I wish that you were still here. I don't know how I'm supposed to fix this. How am I supposed to protect my team? I can't even protect them from themselves."
He stares at the polished rock. It was a very nice stone. She would have liked it. Not that it mattered. She was gone, and she was never coming back. How was he supposed to move on? He had never really told her the truth. He wasn't ready, to let her go.
"I don't want them to make the same mistakes that we did. They have been so dedicated to NCIS, to my team, for so long. They have sacrificed so much. And for what? When the job is done, they will have no one to share it with."
He rolls over, and looks at the clock. He considers slipping out. It was early, the sun wasn't even up yet. He could slip out, and pretend that nothing happened. Pretend that nothing happened, yeah right. Something had happened between them. It was a colossal mistake, too. It wasn't bad. It had been incredible. That was the problem. She swore it wouldn't change anything, but he wasn't convinced. It had changed, for him, at least. He wanted her now, more than ever. He wanted her, to be his.
She stares at the back of his head, wondering. Did he know that she was awake, that she was watching him. She waits, for him to bolt. She had assumed that is what he would do, but he doesn't move. She wishes that he would just leave. Then she wouldn't have to deal with him. She wouldn't have to talk to him. She didn't want to face him. Not now, maybe not ever. This was a mistake. She had been mistaken to think that it wouldn't change things. It did change things. She didn't want him to go, and she would never ask him to stay.
He feels her eyes boring through the back of his head. He rolls over, and looks at her. She stares at him. Neither of them say anything. They don't even touch. They find themselves tangled in silence, and sheets. It hits him, they are both still naked. He studies her face, trying to interpret the signals. Should he go? Should he stay? Maybe he should just ask.
"Do you want me to go."
"It is up to you," she replies.
She couldn't ask him to stay. The ball was in his court, "You know, I make a great breakfast."
"You can't cook," she responds.
"I can. There are a lot of things that you don't know about me."
She smiles, "Obviously."
"So are we going to talk about this, or not?"
"What is there to talk about?"
"I don't know. If you wanted to talk, that would be ok."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Are you sure?"
"Why would I?"
"I don't know."
"I do not need to talk about my feelings."
"Ok."
"I am not someone who needs to cuddle, and..."
"Ziva?"
"What?"
"Don't do this."
"Do what?"
"Don't pretend."
"Pretend? What are you talking about."
"Don't look at me, and act like this changed nothing."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I just want the truth."
"That's what you want to hear? You want me to say that you're the best I've ever had?"
"I just want the truth," he replies.
"I think that this was a mistake."
"Why?"
"After last night, I'm not sure how I am ever supposed to be with someone else."
"You don't have to be."
"Tony... we can't do this. There are rules against it. It will never work."
"I think that you're wrong."
"Because?"
"Last night was amazing."
"That doesn't mean anything."
"Really? You are honestly telling me that last night meant nothing to you? You expect me to believe that it didn't change something for you?"
"It doesn't matter, even if it did."
"And why is that?"
"We can't be together."
"Why not?"
"It will end badly."