Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

Warning: Reid gets hit with foam noodles. A lot.

Reid screamed and flapped his arms. Foam noodles of all colors slapped the water around him, spraying his goggles and obliterating his vision.

No matter where in the pool he went, Reid was always in range of a noodle. His six teammates were spread out around the pool, armed with foam noodles, courtesy of Garcia's Bags of Wonder.

A blue noodle bonked him in the head.

Reid whimpered. His goggles were fogged up and he couldn't see anything. He didn't even have a chance at dodging.

An orange noodle jabbed at his side and slapped across his head. Reid turned and tried to navigate away from the orange noodle, but his duck costume prevented him from going anywhere fast. The orange noodle swung at his head, knocking Reid backward a little. The same orange noodle poked him in the middle of his back. It didn't really hurt, but it wasn't comfortable, either.

Reid hugged the duck's head for comfort.

Up on deck, Prentiss slapped her green noodle in the water and giggled as Reid tried to defend. She looked over at JJ.

JJ, the owner of the orange noodle, was really going at it. She swung the noodle as if it were a baseball bat, hitting Reid again and again.

"JJ? What are you doing?" Prentiss asked. JJ seemed to be taking this a bit seriously.

"Stress release," JJ replied. She continued slapping the screaming Reid with the orange noodle.

"Okay, then," Prentiss said. She looked around at the other members of the team.

Garcia was squealing with delight, waving the red noodle around in the air before slamming it into the water. She had terrible aim.

Morgan's aim was better. He poked Reid's duck ring in the face, which caused Reid to squeak with alarm and cover the duck's head with his arms.

Hotch seemed to also be getting into the stress release idea. He smacked the blue noodle into the water, over and over. He didn't seem to care whether he hit Reid or not.

Rossi lazily poked the purple noodle into the water, not really aiming for anything.

Prentiss looked at her own green noodle. It was a hollow, foam tube about three or four feet long. She had an idea.

Nonchalantly, Prentiss knelt on the concrete edge of the pool and laid her noodle on the surface of the water. She bent the noodle into a u-shape and stuck her foot in the middle of the noodle, pushing it beneath the surface. From both ends, bubbles rose in streams. When the bubbles trickled to a stop, Prentiss lifted the noodle out of the water, careful to cover both ends with her hands. The noodle was now filled with water.

Still kneeling on the concrete, Prentiss pointed one end of the noodle at the back of Reid's head. She took a deep breath and blew into the other end.

Reid screeched shrilly as the jet of water hit him in the back of his head. "What was that?" he screamed.

"Ooh, good idea," Garcia told Prentiss.

"Nice one!" JJ congratulated her.

"This isn't funny!" yelled Reid.

Morgan laughed. He looked down at his right, where Prentiss was reloading her noodle cannon. Damn, he wished he'd thought of that. Well, better late than never. He gave Prentiss a good-natured glare and then grinned. He knelt down next to her and filled his pink noodle with pool water.

"You get him in the back of the head. I'll get him in the front," Morgan told Prentiss. She nodded. They lined up their shots and sprayed.

Two jets of water hit Reid, momentarily shutting him up. He shook his head, spraying water all over the immediate vicinity. He coughed, wiped his goggles, and began screaming louder than ever.

Meanwhile, across the street, an elderly lady sat in her living room. All of the curtains were drawn. A few windows were open, but just a little.

Lizzie Porter was faced with a dilemma. She hated dilemmas. As soon as you were happy, they marched along to ruin everything.

She didn't know what she should do. Most of the houses in the immediate area were empty at the moment, due to their owners going on vacations. Lizzie was all alone in her house, except for a bunny rabbit she had named Arthur, after her late husband. Lizzie shuffled over to Arthur's cage.

"Oh, what do I do?" she asked Arthur. Arthur was sleeping; he didn't do much else.

Lizzie shuffled back over to her sofa and slowly sat down. Should she meddle? Should she wait? Lizzie knew that in the old days, she had a frightful reputation for interfering in other people's business. Was she worrying about nothing?

No, Lizzie decided. She should tell somebody. Somebody needed to know. Besides, she was a bit lonely today.

Lizzie thought about who she could tell. Both of her neighbors were on vacation. Then she thought of the nice lady, Jenny, across the street. Lizzie had never called her JJ, as she had asked so many times. Lizzie called her Jenny, because as it was Lizzie's daughter's name, it was easy to remember. Jenny from across the street was an FBI agent, Lizzie knew. If anyone could help, Jenny could.

Lizzie almost got up to put her shoes on, but then she remembered that it was Saturday. On the Saturdays that Jenny wasn't at work, she and Will went on outings with their son, oh, what was his name? Harold? No, Hector. That was it. Hector. Jenny would not be home today.

Lizzie was almost at the end of her rope. What could she do? She had to tell someone.

She looked over and saw the telephone. Lizzie didn't like resorting to this, but she would if she had to. She picked up the big receiver, carefully punched in the number, and waited for an answer. As she waited, she tangled her fingers in the curly phone cord. Finally, there was an answer.

"Nine, one, one. What's your emergency?"

"Oh, uh… um…"

The person on the other end sighed. "Hi, Lizzie. What's wrong?"

"You're not Janice. I want to talk to Janice. Is Janice there?"

"No, Lizzie. I'm sorry, she went on vacation. Can I help you?"

"Janice didn't tell me she was taking a vacation! When did she leave?" Lizzie was miffed.

"Just after you called, yesterday."

"Oh. Who are you, then?"

"My name is Polly. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Fine, then, Polly. Yes, there is."

"What's wrong?"

"There's a lot of screaming in the neighborhood. It sounds like it might be a little girl," Lizzie whispered.

"I'll send a squad car over to check it out, okay, Lizzie?"

"Yes, thank you, Polly."

Polly hung up. Lizzie set the big telephone down on its hook.

She sat on the couch, watching Arthur, and listening.

The screaming didn't stop.