Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

Reid's screams became garbled as Garcia shot water into his mouth with her foam noodle. He coughed and spat out pool water. He took a deep breath to begin screaming again, but the wind was knocked out of him by a jet of water and a slap from Prentiss' noodle. He whimpered and flailed his arms, the yellow water-wings making bright yellow arcs through the air.

He had endured this humiliation for upwards of ten minutes now. No longer! Reid resolved to take matters into his own hands.

"Leave me alone," he whined. A noodle smacked into the back of his head.

Oh, well. So much for being assertive.

Reid resumed screaming.

Rossi yawned and left the edge of the pool for his lounge chair.

"Hey," Hotch said. "What are you doing?"

"I need a break. My sugar high wore off," Rossi replied. He produced his wineglasses and kidnapped several liters of soda.

Hotch stared at Rossi. He hadn't even been aware that Rossi was on a sugar rush. He shrugged and went back to smacking Reid with the blue foam noodle. He filled it up and shot a jet of water at Reid's head.

Reid shrieked and waved his arms helplessly.

Prentiss and Morgan had momentarily called a truce on their good-natured rivalry and were teaming up against poor little Reid. They filled up their noodles and aimed.

"Ready?" Morgan asked.

"Duh," Prentiss said.

"Okay, then. Fire!" Morgan gave the command. Two jets of water splashed into Reid's face.

"I want to be the one to call 'fire' next time. You've done it for the last, like, ten times!" Prentiss complained.

"Fine, go ahead," Morgan said. He held up his hands in mock surrender.

"You had better let me," growled Prentiss.

"Yes, ma'am," Morgan said.

"Alright, my delicious little chickens," Garcia announced. "It's time for our next game."

Prentiss, Morgan, JJ, and Hotch ceased fire.

Reid stopped screaming and looked up hopefully. "Is it time for a snack break?" he asked.

Garcia ignored him. "Our new game is called Cavalry, and if you don't cooperate, I will annihilate your very existence." She bent over and rummaged through her Bags of Wonder.

Prentiss looked at JJ. "What's 'Cavalry'?" she whispered.

JJ looked scared. "I don't know. I'm more worried about why she thinks we won't cooperate."

"Hey, Reid," Morgan called.

"Yeah?"

"What's 'Cavalry'?" Morgan asked.

"A cavalry is a military unit that serves on horseback," Reid replied.

"Yeah… see, kid, we don't have any horses here, so that doesn't really help."

"Sorry," Reid mumbled.

"Actually," Garcia said, straightening up, "we do have horsies."

"Garcia," Hotch said in a warning tone. "You don't have horses in those bags, do you?"

"No, sillies! Of course not! Whatever would give you that idea?" Garcia looked around, smiling insanely.

"But… never mind," Morgan started, but then thought better of it.

"But you said we have horses," Reid piped up.

Morgan rolled his eyes. When was that kid going to learn that you don't feed the dragon?

"Why, yes! I suppose I did say that, now didn't I?" Garcia laughed and clapped her hands.

JJ stood by her lounge chair, feeling rather stupid. Garcia was fishing for someone to say the right thing, JJ knew. JJ also knew that to stop this crazy woman, she needed to figure out what it was that Garcia wanted asked, and then keep Reid from asking it.

"So… where are said horses?" Reid asked.

Garcia shrieked with insane laughter.

JJ sighed and face palmed. Damn you, Reid, she thought.

"Look, can we just play the stupid game?" Prentiss said. She was getting annoyed with all of this drama. Anyway, she was in a wet swimming suit, and even under such a hot sun, she was feeling chilly.

"Stop it, Emily! You're ruining it!" Garcia whined.

"Okay, okay, just get on with it," Prentiss said.

"Fine. We already have our horsies! Well, except for Reid. Here you go, honey!" Garcia handed Reid his yellow noodle.

"Noodles?" Morgan asked. "Noodles are suddenly horses?"

"Yup! Reid will demonstrate, won't you, sweetie?" Garcia leered at him.

"Yes, ma'am!" Reid squeaked. He slipped one leg over the noodle and sat in the middle.

"More drama!" Garcia ordered.

Reid bobbed up and down. He reached around the duck head for the 'horse' head.

Garcia glared. "Annihilation of your very existence," she hissed.

Reid gulped. "Giddy-up," he said weakly.

"Good boy," Garcia crooned. "See? These fine horsies-" she indicated the noodles- "are going to assist us in battle!"

"Battle?" Morgan echoed. He stared at his pink noodle.

"Yes, lovelies, battle! You, Emily, have already figured out the cannon technique that the battle will consist of. Reid, show us that, as well."

Reid dipped down into the water as far as his duck ring would allow. The yellow noodle filled up with water. He reached behind him and grabbed the back end of the noodle, which he used to aim at Hotch's empty lounge chair. Reid took a deep breath and blew into the front end of the noodle.

Splash!

"Augh!" Rossi yelled. He tore off his dripping sunglasses and searched wildly for the offending team member. He glared at Reid. "You," he hissed.

Reid held up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, sir, but I meant to hit Hotch's chair because it was empty but I have really bad aim and you look really angry!" Reid babbled.

Rossi narrowed his eyes and growled.

JJ and Prentiss were giggling uncontrollably.

"Honestly, what are the chances of that?" Prentiss asked JJ.

"With Reid controlling the shot, I'm surprised he managed to hit anything on that side of the pool!" JJ laughed.

Rossi's death gaze flicked over to Prentiss and JJ. The two straightened up and stifled their laughing fit.

"Now, Garcia," Rossi said. "Are we or are we not going to play this game of yours?"

"We are, but we need to know the rules first!" Garcia was completely unfazed by Rossi's glare.

"Now, children, I do hope you understand that there are hardly any rules. No, Reid, there is no referee in this game, so don't even ask. Everyone gets one noodle as a weapon, and that's it," Garcia explained.

"I'm hungry," Reid whimpered.

Garcia ignored him. "In order to play this game, we all need to have the same equipment. Now, remember, if you don't cooperate, you know what will happen," Garcia warned.

JJ was confused and worried. "But why does she think we won't cooperate?" JJ asked Prentiss.

Garcia held up her hand. Fanned out were six thin, rectangular packages, each containing an animal-themed inflatable pool ring and water-wings.

"Oh," said JJ.

"That's why," Prentiss said.