Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

Author's Note: Hello! I have returned. Thank you all for your reviews! Suggestions for the story are welcome. Enjoy!

Morgan was going to die. He just knew it. How a nice, sunny, slightly scary pool party at JJ's had turned into a battle between life and death was beyond him, but he did know that it was somehow all Prentiss' fault.

A few moments earlier, Prentiss and Morgan had been beating up on each other with their green and pink foam noodle cannons. Though Morgan would never admit it, Prentiss was clearly winning. She shrieked with insane laughter that was scary enough to rival Garcia's patented cackles.

Jet after jet of water had been blasting in Morgan's face, giving him no time to recover or even load his cannon. So when he saw Prentiss blowing into her cannon, about to fire at him again, he did the first thing that came to mind. Morgan had grabbed the end of the green noodle that was aimed at him and had clamped his mouth over it.

Which turned out to be one of the most incredibly stupid ideas of his lifetime.

Morgan's only option was to continue blowing into the noodle, or else a jet of water would blast into his mouth.

Prentiss and Morgan were locked in an epic battle of lung power, each blowing into opposite ends of the same loaded cannon.

Morgan knew that he was going to die. He just couldn't win this fight, not with deranged coworker Prentiss on the other end. How was she doing it? She didn't look faint, or dizzy, or in pain, like he felt.

Morgan was running out of air. He thought of a blast of pool water shooting into his mouth, cringed, and found the strength to keep puffing air into the noodle. He then remembered circular breathing, in which he would inhale through his nose and exhale through his mouth. It didn't sound too difficult. He tried it.

He inhaled through his nose, but that made him stop exhaling. His eyes shot wide open as he realized what was about to happen.

Prentiss saw his lapse of breathing and blew into the cannon as hard as she could.

Morgan shuddered. He didn't want to die like this! Not with Prentiss' triumphant cackles in his ears!

Morgan felt the torrent of water blast into his mouth, slide down his throat, and slosh into his stomach. It was not a pleasant feeling. He coughed and spat water.

"Aw, come on!" Morgan said. "That was not fair!"

"You were the one dumb enough to block a cannon with your mouth," Prentiss retorted, reloading and coming in for a second shot.

Morgan hated to do this, but he felt he had to. He raised both hands in surrender. He reasoned that if he wasn't still recovering from the shot of water to his stomach, he would beat her to a pulp. Probably.

"You're giving up?" Prentiss grinned. She looked delighted.

"I felt the water slide down my throat! Good gravy, give me a break!" Morgan told her.

"Esophagus." Reid entered the conversation, floating lazily on his duck.

"What?" Morgan said, confused.

"You felt it slide down your esophagus, to be precise," Reid corrected.

Morgan narrowed his eyes, then shook his head. He held up his pink noodle cannon. "You want this down your esophagus?" he threatened Reid.

Reid pouted. "I was only saying…" he trailed off, floating away nervously.

Meanwhile, Prentiss had slipped around behind Morgan, loaded her cannon, and shot. Water splashed up the back of his head.

Morgan whirled on her. "Did I not just surrender?" he growled.

"Well, yeah, but we're still playing Garcia's free-for-all cavalry game," Prentiss justified. She drifted off to Morgan's right, reloading as she went.

Reid laughed. "Get with the program, Morgan!" he grinned.

Morgan rolled his eyes. He would deal with Prentiss in short order, but first he had to set this kid straight. Morgan whapped Reid upside the head with his pink foam noodle.

"Ow!" Reid whined.

Morgan poked the foam noodle, and experimentally whapped himself with it. "What do you mean, 'ow'?" Morgan asked Reid incredulously.

Reid ignored him, instead fumbling with his yellow noodle, trying his best to load it. When it was fully waterlogged, Reid quickly lifted it out of the water, accidentally spilling all of his ammunition in the process. He dipped it back under the water. He took it out carefully this time, and aimed it at Morgan's face.

"I'll get you for that, Morgan," Reid tried to be threatening. He took a deep breath and blew as hard as he could into his end of the noodle.

Morgan had no reason at all to be worried. Due to Reid's terrible aim, however, Prentiss did.

"I am going to kill you," she hissed at Reid, dripping wet.

Morgan laughed hysterically. Prentiss glared at him. He shut up.

Reid screamed and tried to paddle away, but he was no match for an angry Prentiss. Actually, he was no match for a calm, happy Prentiss, either.

But that didn't matter. All Reid knew was that after the next three seconds, he had water in both his ears, up his nose, and his yellow noodle had been stuffed into his mouth.

Reid flailed helplessly. He said something that was muffled and trumpeted by the noodle.

Prentiss pushed her wet hair out of her face and spun around to deal with Morgan.

"What have I done?" Morgan asked her as he saw the bright green noodle aimed at his face. His voice was squeaky.

Prentiss' only answer was an evil cackle. She was getting quite good at that. Morgan thought she must be taking lessons from Garcia.

A blast of water slammed into Morgan's face, igniting the battle once again.

Meanwhile, in the deep end, JJ and Garcia were beating up on Hotch.

"I thought there weren't supposed to be any teams!" Hotch yelped.

JJ and Garcia looked at each other. They shrugged.

"Temporary alliance," JJ said. A jet of water splashed the side of her head.

Hotch had taken advantage of the time given. While JJ and Garcia had been shrugging, he had loaded his cannon and fired. Yes, that fast. Hotch wished Jack was there to see it. Jack would have thought Hotch was so cool…

Garcia shimmied around in her red kitty-cat ring. She loaded her red cannon, while JJ loaded her orange one. They aimed their cannons at Hotch and got ready to fire.

"Run, Moo-cow, run!" Garcia crowed.

Hotch was suddenly glad that Jack was not present to see this sad, sad moment. He made a noise that sounded like 'yeep' and retreated. Two streams of water hit the pool just behind him.

"Reload!" Garcia shrieked.

Hotch waddled faster, his moo-cow ring swishing and dragging him back. He dearly hoped that Will and Kevin could keep Jack and Henry from getting home any time soon.

Off in a quiet area of the deep end, Rossi watched the chaos of Garcia's evil Cavalry game. He bobbed up and down in his purple unicorn ring and noodle. It was peaceful to just sit atop his unicorn and oversee the battles.

He ran his hand over the unicorn's horn, wondering if it would be any good as a bayonet. The soft, inflated plastic bent under his hand. It would be no use to try to stab somebody with that.

Rossi watched as Hotch was cornered by Garcia and JJ. Prentiss had just finished going postal on Reid. He smiled. Oh, to be young again…

Actually, he wasn't all that old. He just liked to pretend to be so that he could get senior discounts and such. It made a good excuse to sit out of this violent fray.

Rossi bobbed along the edge of the pool.

"Good girl, Betsie," he murmured to the unicorn.

Rossi smiled again. Betsie the Unicorn carried him around the deep end. His friends/coworkers were beating each other up with foam noodle cannons. Now, if he only had a good cocktail, life would be absolutely perfect…