Okay, so this is the new story. There was no opening statements for the last one because this came to me as a fit of inspiration that I couldn't dodge.

To put this into perspective, I am writing this because a guy on the Naruto Fanfiction subreddit made an offhand comment that I really liked.

When I link this to him in about two days I hope that he feels special.

Naruto sat back in his chair, the very thought of moving an intrusive and dangerous idea to him.

"You've been in class for ten minutes," the chakra beast, the Nine-Tailed Fox, said. A spirit of evil and malevolent intention, it was now reduced to a simple voice locked away in his brain. "And don't forget, you wanted to be here."

Naruto groaned. The action had him shushed by his teacher, a person that wasn't Iruka, and Naruto bristled at even that.

"I didn't think I'd be this bored. It's such a beautiful day outside and I'm sitting inside, being bored."

It was usually humid in the Land of Fire, but today was pretty nice. The sun wasn't scorching hot, leaving the outside a balmy, comfortable vision of pure ecstasy. Naruto could imagine it now— lounging on the grass, not a care in the world, eating a meat bun from a vendor that had reluctantly sold it to him. The juiciness of the meat would only be amplified by the knowledge that he paid for it using money he stole from that very same vendor.

"And instead of doing that, I'm here, stuck behind an old, rickety desk and listening to a teacher that isn't Iruka talk about jutsu theory."

Naruto yawned into his sleeve. The teacher at the front, whose name Naruto literally could not care enough to learn, glared at him for even that. Naruto met her eyes, before rolling his. He buried his head in his arms and pretended to sleep. He could still feel the teacher's eyes on him, but he knew that she couldn't do anything about it. If she wanted to punish him, she would have to punish Shikamaru as well.

And staging a fight against the Nara clan was something that even the Hyuuga hesitated to do.

"You don't have much of a choice," the Fox said. "Our last prank was bigger than we thought. There are at least twice as many ANBU on us as before, and this time the old man isn't even trying to hide it."

Naruto groaned as he lifted his head. He cast one eye out the window, only to see… yup.

Standing on a rooftop a few buildings away was an ANBU. Their mask was shaped in the visage of a hawk, and they were staring directly at him. Not hiding in the shadows or concealing their presence with a technique but staring directly at him in full view. Their fully black outfit stood out under the glare of the mid-afternoon sun, and Naruto couldn't help but think that was the point.

"If you know that you're being watched, you have to act in respect to the watcher. If you leave their sight for even a minute, they'll report back to the Hokage and you'll have to explain why you so deliberately lost your tracker."

"They can't keep this up forever," Naruto responded. "There must be more important things for the ANBU to do. Once the old man convinces the others that he did all he could to keep me in check, he'll have the ANBU off me, and then we'll be free."

"I'm sure," the Fox said, his voice wry. "But the question is, can you survive however long this process would take?"

Naruto turned to the front of the class. The teacher was drawing elementary math equations on the board, something that Naruto had learned ages ago. He slammed his head back on the desk.

"I sure hope so, Kurama."

XxX

It turned out that Naruto could not last that long.

"If you lose the ANBU, it'll just make things worse in the long run."

The Fox said this, but he knew that his words were falling on deaf ears. Naruto had left the school the instant class was over, and was now bounding over rooftops with a single objective in mind:

He was going to escape, and no amount of logic was going to stop him.

"Is he still behind us?" Naruto asked. The wind was whipping through his hair as he ran. The world lurched as he came down on a tiled rooftop, only to become weightless again as Naruto took off.

"Naturally," the Fox replied. "If you stop now, you can convince him that you were just going on a run."

"Is that what he's thinking now?"

"I can't read minds," the Fox responded, "but I doubt it. He's feeling very panicked."

Naruto nodded, then channeled chakra to his legs. As he started to speed up Kurama sighed.

"This is going to lead to more problems than solutions."

"And when have you ever steered me away from more problems?"

XxX

The Third Hokage of the Konoha sighed as he swiveled in his chair. No sound was made, at all, and yet as he turned he could feel his blood pressure rising.

"Why are you here, Hawk?" Hiruzen Sarutobi asked. He was already reaching for his pipe. "Aren't you supposed to be monitoring Naruto?"

Hawk didn't say anything, but the Third Hokage didn't expect him to. He had assigned the job to the man, but neither of them expected him to be able to actually do it.

"Where did you lose him?" the old man asked. Hawk looked up for a second before bowing his head once more.

"Near the industrial district. He ducked among some crates near a dead end. When I want to regain line of sight, the boy was gone."

"Did you check for any illusions?" Hiruzen asked. The man hesitated.

"I was told that he couldn't do any illusions."

"Information tends to become inaccurate. Always remember that."

The tips of Hawk's ears gained a faint shade of red. It took everything that Hiruzen had not to chuckle at the poor man's embarrassment. In truth, the blame for this situation fell more on his shoulders than the young recruit's anyway. Naruto was inexperienced in many areas, but speed and stealth were areas he excelled in. Even experienced ninja had trouble keeping track of him.

"No matter," Hiruzen called, waving his hand as if to ward off the issue altogether. "It shouldn't be hard to find him, anyway."

The old man turned to his crystal ball, chakra floating on the edge of his fingers. An aged hand gently touched the smooth crystalline edge…

… and nothing happened.

Both Hawk and the Hokage stared at it, before sighing.

"Well," the elder said. "This can't be anything good."

XxX

"My head hurts," Naruto thought. There was a sharp pain localized somewhere near the back of his head. He tried to reach for it, to rub it in some way, but something was wrapped around his wrists, keeping him down.

"Did you figure that one out yourself?" The Fox yawned. Naruto could feel the great beast stirring in his mind, moving about in his cage. "Truly, your ability of discernment is on par with that of the gods."

Naruto moaned, but otherwise didn't move. He had opened his eyes almost as soon as he awoke, but he still couldn't see anything. So, he was blindfolded.

"Your deductions. So amazing. Wow."

Naruto continued to ignore the Fox, instead trying to move something else. His legs? No, they were tied as well. He was sitting, so they had the decency to lock him in a chair. Perhaps his chakra?

"I wouldn't recommend it," the Fox called. Usually, Naruto would at least consider these words, but the Fox had proven himself unhelpful thus far, so Naruto had ignored him.

The burning sensation that spread from his gut proved that he should have listened.

"Fuck!" Naruto cursed, though he tried to keep his voice low. It was quite obvious by now that he was kidnapped, though the question remained: by who?

"Okay, focus Naruto. What was the last thing you remember?"

"You were running from the ANBU, then you slipped into a back alley. You planned on doubling back and using that slight of mind to lose him, when everything went dark."

Naruto nodded. For once, having another pair of eyes alongside his own was useful.

"I didn't raise you to be this sarcastic."

"I wouldn't call what you did raising me."

Back to his situation, things only looked bleaker. This wasn't his first kidnapping situation—far from it, actually—but this was the first situation where he was wholly unprepared for it. There was no warning, no signals. There were no safehouses or tricks he could use. He was all alone in an unknown area with no information.

This was bad.

The Fox cackled in his head. "And we thought today was going to be boring."

Naruto clicked his tongue. "Idiotic fox. Don't you know how bad this is?"

"Eh. We'll make it out of this. We always do."

"I'm not worried about making it out of this. I'm worried about what the old man would think when he finds out what happens! Remember the last time we got kidnapped? We had an ANBU trail for a month!"

Both Naruto and Kurama shuddered. That was the most boring month of their entire lives.

"We can't let him find out," the Fox said, a conviction in his voice unlike anything he had ever expressed before. "Ever."

"Agreed," Naruto said. Right after he said this, Naruto could hear the creaking of a door. Footsteps entered, followed by the rhythmic tapping of wood.

If Naruto had to guess, he would say that it was a cane.

"Only one bastard in this village is both brave enough to kidnap you and old enough to use a cane."

The blindfold came off, and Naruto was gifted to a sight he didn't ever want to see. A man was standing in front of him, flanked by two men taller than he was. They wore masks similar to the ANBU, but instead of animal designs the masks were completely plain. The only one not wearing a mask was the man right in front of him, not that he needed one. Half of his face was covered in bandages.

"Greetings, Naruto," the old man said. All things considered, his voice was gentle, almost genial. If Naruto didn't know the man personally, he would even say that the man seemed kind. "And how are we doing today?"

Kurama growled.

Naruto growled.

Danzo only smiled.

"Come now," the old man said. He waved at his guards and they both moved off in opposite directions. "I know you're more civil than that. Use your words. They're far more effective."

The lights in the room came on, allowing Naruto to take it in. It was rather plain, just four walls and a door. No windows or anything. There was a table off to the side, where one of the operatives was preparing some tea that he had brought in. The other was ferrying over a chair. He placed it behind Danzo, and the old man sat down gingerly.

"Now, what brings you here, today?"

Naruto snarled. "Your operatives."

"Rend him!" the Fox screamed. "Rend him to pieces!"

"Don't you think I would if I could, Fox? Calm down. I can't think of a way out of this with you messing up my emotions like this!"

Danzo, the old bastard, raised a hand to his chin. He seemed to ponder on the boy's words for a few seconds before coming to some upon some sort of realization.

"Ah," the old bastard mocked. "Right. I forgot. Silly me."

"We'll see how silly you look when I gouge your eyes out."

"Down, boy."

The Fox didn't seem to agree, but he at least withdrew his anger. Now, without the influence of a centuries old being of malevolence, Naruto could focus once more. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes all the while, and already he could feel his mind clearing.

When he opened his eyes again, it was to the gentle smile of the manipulative old war hawk. So that was how he was playing, huh? Well, two could do it.

Naruto smiled. "You're looking good, Danzo. Not a day over eighty-two."

"I'm sixty, young Naruto. Don't worry, though. I don't expect you to understand numbers very well."

Naruto chuckled. "Numbers are hard, but everyone struggles with that. Tell me, Danzo. Why do you struggle with making friends?"

Danzo's eyebrow raised. It was such a small, deliberate action that Naruto nearly overlooked it altogether. "I have plenty of acquaintances."

"I'm sorry. Friends that you don't groom from birth."

"One might say that those are the greatest friends of all."

"And absolutely nothing about that is creepy."

The two stared at each other, a mix of amusement and utter contempt shown on their faces. Danzo's smile was still there, though it was remarkably more strained. Naruto's smile was more natural, but the furrowing of his brow gave away his true intentions.

A full minute passed like this. At some point the operative making tea returned, though neither moved to drink. Danzo because he was too stubborn to break eye-contact and Naruto because his hands were tied.

Though, if they weren't, he likely wouldn't have drunk anyway.

"I'm not the kind for small talk so let's cut to the chase," Danzo said. The smile slipped from his face as if it were a mere accessory, and Naruto straightened at the suddenly tense atmosphere. "I want you in my ranks. You will join."

Naruto stretched, or at least tried as much as he could. "You really are horrible at phrasing your questions."

"It wasn't a question," Danzo said, his voice monotone as he spoke.

"Well," replied Naruto. "That really makes my denial all the more damning to your plans, doesn't it?"

The grin that adorned Naruto's face was nothing short of fox-like, and although Danzo did not show it, Naruto could feel the man's irritation.

"He is totally miffed, boy," the Fox said. He could sense emotion… somehow… Naruto never thought to ask. "His anger is like a cool spray of water over my fur. Make him angrier."

"I don't think that'll help our situation."

"It'll help mine."

Danzo coughed, and one of the masked men walked over. Danzo held up a hand, and the man placed a pair of tongs in it.

"You have a sharp tongue, young Naruto," Danzo said. One of his eyes, eternally squinted, opened just enough for Naruto to see the cool gray of the man's aged irises. "I think that'll be the first thing I train out of you once you become mine."

Naruto's smile, however, only grew. "I'll never be yours, Danzo. I'll never belong to anyone."

Danzo didn't respond this time. The time for talk seemed to be over. He rose from his chair, making his way over to the boy.

"Tongue, out."

Naruto did as he was told. Danzo wasted no time in clamping the tongs around it. The resulting chakra that was burning into his tongue was painful, but not new.

Danzo's scowl was steady. "You will not break free this time, boy."

Naruto ended up smiling. Even around the pain and the tongue being held from his mouth, he smiled.

"We'll see how long that smile of yours can last," Danzo continued. "I have disabled that old fool's crystal ball. He won't be coming to save you this time."

Naruto's smile only grew.

XxX

When Naruto was eight, he didn't have anyone to play with. All the other kids were told to stay away from him, and all of the parents shooed him whenever he came close. The shop owners, barring one or two, only gave him what he came for before pushing him from their shop. The orphanage workers all avoided him as if he were a walking plague.

All of those things were fun, of course. He would play with the children while hiding from the gaze of their parents. He would find excuses to stay in those shops for as long as possible, often asking for the largest, most difficult item to obtain. As for the orphanage workers, he would often push the boundaries of the various establishments he was in to their limit, knowing that the caretakers would be loathe to actually punish him for it.

It was actually one of such rules that first allowed Naruto to meet Danzo. "Don't go out after bedtime," he was told.

Naruto, just an adolescent, scoffed. While he liked sleeping through bedtime, he had also wanted to see what the village looked like at night. I mean, if his bedroom looked so different, so too could the rest of the village, right? One night, after everyone else was asleep, he snuck out of his room. He made very little sound, so no one heard him.

No one, except the head caretaker. An old, grizzled woman, she was an ex-kunoichi and also never around. She found the boy as his hand rested on the doorknob to the outside.

She shook her head and sighed, then turned the door for him.

"Children are meant to explore. Exceptional children are meant to explore exceptionally," was what she said. "Be back before morning, and I'll overlook it this time."

Naruto nodded his little head as fast as he could. He rushed out into the village, intent on exploring everything he could. He was too small to notice the ANBU that tracked him, but he wouldn't have cared if he did.

Of course, being a child back then meant that ROOT were never far behind. He was scooped off the street before an hour had passed, and the first time that Naruto had ever evaded the ANBU was seared into the minds of the Hokage's secret forces.

"Greetings, young Naruto," Danzo said, his voice softer. He held out a piece of candy as he approached Naruto on the dark road to the park. "I am Danzo. Would you like to come with me for a bit?"

Naruto, seeing candy, of course, said yes. It wasn't long until Naruto was in the ROOT base of the time, and he was loving every second of it.

"Do you like ninjas?" the old man asked as he led the boy by the hand through his facilities. "I can make you into one."

Naruto nodded, his mind not really on the man's words. His eyes wandered over every ninja training around him, some of which were younger than he was.

"So, I take it that you're willing to be in our program? I must warn you; the training is very tough."

Naruto, again, nodded, though his thoughts were more on the delicious sweet in his mouth.

"Boy, what is that disgusting smell?" the Fox asked. Naruto shrugged.

"I can't smell anything."

"I will make you into the strongest ninja in the village, boy," Danzo continued, though Naruto had already begun phasing the man's words out. His eyes roamed to every corner of the room, taking in every detail he could reliably commit to memory.

A prank was forming, and there was so much potential here.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Fox?" Naruto asked.

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. I was too focused on the smell. Oh, yeah. We're pranking him."

Naruto nodded.

He didn't make it back before morning. Five days later, however, he escaped.

XxX

To be fair, Danzo couldn't quite tell when things went quite so wrong.

The obvious starting point would be the explosions, though how the explosions happened, exactly, he couldn't tell. The ROOT did routine checks of all of their warehouses, and even up until this morning they didn't find anything out of order.

So how did the brat manage to sneak in explosions? How did he manage to sabotage all of their masks? How did he procure weaponry that Danzo had never seen before from places that Danzo, the master of this area, had never known about?

It was all so insane that even he, the eternally prepared warhawk, was left flat-footed for a whole five seconds.

Those five seconds were all that Naruto needed.

XxX

"We are so lucky that the old fool took us to the same secret dungeon from all those years ago."

Naruto ducked beneath a thrown kunai. It sailed straight over his head, slicing off strands of his blond hair, before embedding deeply into a wall. Naruto turned, a frown on his face, before putting his hands into a seal.

The man who threw it, arm still outstretched, fell face-first onto the ground. He tried to rise, but something was keeping him there.

"You really made a prank that you didn't plan to enact for another three years. Impressive."

Another few operatives jumped him. Naruto frowned. The seal came up again, and two of them fell to the ground. The last one took a second to look at them before continuing their lunge.

Naruto ducked. "Huh, must be a new one."

"They're taller than you. They can't be a new one."

"Could be an early bloomer."

"Just get rid of them."

Naruto sidestepped a stab, before bringing his knee up. Being shorter, Naruto could only knee the guy in his crotch.

It worked anyway.

The man crumbled to the ground, and Naruto didn't hesitate to stomp on his head. He turned back to the fray, only to see more ROOT ninja converging on him.

"Well, at least today was eventful."

Naruto groaned. "I'm never partying with you."

His hands came together again, and the paint on the walls peeled away. Noxious brown gas floated away from the melting goo, radiating out into the room. It reached an operative with long hair close to him first. She breathed in one whiff of it before falling to the ground.

The other operatives watched her spasming on the floor uncontrollably, then looked at each other. They turned to their boss. None of them spoke—verbal communication was something that was lost to them long ago— but the implication was clear.

"Can we leave?" they seemed to ask.

"It's just one boy!" Danzo screamed, effectively out of his shock-based stupor. "I trained you to overturn nations! You can handle a single, unarmed boy!"

The ROOT operatives looked towards one another. Two brave souls in the front stepped forward…

… only to fall face first to the ground like all of their comrades. The struggled to stand, only to get a whiff of the brown smoke for their troubles. They coughed and gagged, clawing at their own masks in an attempt to peel away their own noses, but it was to no avail. They collapsed back on the ground, their movements ceased for the time being.

The other operatives watched this happen. They turned to Naruto, who had donned a facemask from who knows where, before turning back to their boss. The old man was standing there, mouth half open, just watching the spectacle unfold. A brave operative walked up to him and waved a hand in front of his face.

"He's… not moving," he said. He turned to the other members. Their faces were hidden by their emotionless masks, but their intentions were painfully obvious.

"Abort," the new leader said. He snatched up Danzo, who let the man do as he wished, before dashing through the door. Naruto watched as they went, a small, satisfied smile on his face.

"Look at them," Naruto said, his voice muffled by the gas mask he wore. "For a bunch of emotionless freaks, they learn so quickly."

"I would almost be proud of them, if they weren't worthless meatbags."

Naruto, for once, agreed with his tenant. He moved to wipe an imaginary tear from his eye, only to remember that he couldn't exactly do that. Instead, he resorted to watching as they fled as fast as they could down the hallways of ROOT headquarters.

"What do you think their faces will look like when they realize that the entire base is trapped?"

"I'm not sure," Naruto responded. "But I bet it will be glorious."

Naruto brought his hands up. His fingers interweaved and flowed, molding the chakra that he left in the walls several years ago.

XxX

It was Hawk's second day on the job. The first was pretty good. He got to meet all of his ANBU companions, as well as his squad leader. His teammates, aware that he was only a Chunin before his promotion, were careful to carry him through the steps. He left ANBU headquarters that day with promises for an easy Jonin exam and excitement for the future.

Then the second day happened and things all fell apart.

"I thought ROOT were supposed to be emotionless," he asked. He slipped back when a ROOT operative grasped at his ankle. Hawk tensed, expecting combat, only to see the man collapse back to the ground. He jerked sporadically, as if his own muscles were not listening to him, before curling back in on himself.

He then wept. It was a sound that was strangely harmonious with the rest of the sobbing ROOT.

"They are," a voice called. It was one that Hawk had heard just that morning. He turned, back turning straight as the Third Hokage of Konoha approached. He was short, far shorter than any of the men or women he passed, and yet his presence commanded respect and attention. The ANBU around him stiffened, some even bowing under his stare. "They were taken while young, and robbed of the chance to learn how to feel."

Hawk, enraptured by the wisdom in his leader's words, nodded. He turned back to the ROOT agent mewling at his feet, and almost felt bad for him.

"Then what is this?" Hawk asked. He saw his squad mates, friends he had made just yesterday, shake their heads as hard as they could. Hawk hesitated. Right. He was not to ask questions of authority. Only to follow. "I-I'm sorry, sir. I only meant to—"

The Hokage raised his hand, silencing the man. He smiled, though it didn't do much to dispel the tension. "It's quite fine. Curiosity isn't something to be condemned, though I would advise you to curtail it during times of emergency."

Hawk's ears reddened, though he didn't say anything, instead waiting for the Hokage to continue.

The old man walked over to the ROOT. They were still rocking on the ground, cradling their knees or sucking their thumbs. He stopped near one, a sadly young child, and sighed. Her mask had been removed, showing brown hair clasped to still chubby cheeks. Her amber eyes were wild and unfocused, darting all over as she looked for some sort of sanity.

"They were ROOT; soulless, emotionless warriors created by my twisted ex-teammate. Their childhood and their very lives were stripped from them. They were turned into soldiers without ambitions or futures. For so long, I was afraid that I would never be able to give them back what they lost."

The girl, who couldn't be any older than Naruto, continued to babble. The Hokage knelt, touching his fingers gently to her temple. When the girl flinched, Hiruzen smiled.

"They're a mess," Hawk said. "They're all… traumatized."

"Yes," the Hokage said. "And this is truly unfortunate. But it, at the least, is somewhere to start. I plan on supporting them as they acclimate back to normal life."

Hawk nodded. He would help as much as he could.

"Still," Hiruzen continued. "It brings one to wonder what could possibly be so traumatic to cause these emotionless husks to experience emotion once more."

XxX

Naruto sneezed, the action nearly jolting him from his seat.

"You know, whenever you sneeze it means that someone is talking about you at this very moment."

"That's a stupid superstition," Naruto said, before reaching to his table. He plucked a grape from his fruit bowl—formally Danzo's fruit bowl— and savored how juicy it was. "If that were true, I'd be sneezing all the time. I'm sure that the ANBU curse my name at least once a day."

The Fox seemed to agree. The two fell into a comfortable silence, where Naruto continued to snack on grapes while absentmindedly reading, and the Fox sang off tune in his head.

It was an excellent way to end the week.

"You really laced rotten eggs in the painting of their wall and kept it sealed there for four years," the Fox said.

"Mmm," Naruto grunted. He popped another grape in his mouth, chewing it slowly as his eyes roamed over the words of his book. He found himself going back several times as he hadn't actually retained any of what he read, but it was still calming nonetheless.

"And you also hid weapons and gas masks all over the base."

"Mmm," Naruto hummed. He turned the page, stopped, and turned it back.

"And you dropped flashbangs and itching powder and chakra mice everywhere, all of which would not activate without the input of your chakra."

"Mmm," Naruto said. He reached for his fruit bowl, only to realize there were none left. He whined, the saddest expression on his face, before swinging himself out of the chair. It was time to go find some more.

"And you did all of that when you were eight, in preparation to unleash it when you were twelve."

"To be fair," Naruto said, "I prepared to be kidnapped by him again a week later. I wasn't expecting four years, but you know. Best laid plans and all that."

Naruto opened his fridge. It was empty. He closed it and moved to his pantry. It was empty as well.

The Fox rolled his eyes, an action he made sure that Naruto felt, before continuing. "And how did you make them fall to the ground? Did you booby trap their masks?"

Naruto shook his head. He opened his fridge again, remembered that he already opened it, before moving to his room. He slipped on his jacket and zipped it up.

"No," he said. "They change masks far too often. I booby trapped the ink that Danzo used to brand their tongues. Speaking of…"

Naruto stuck out his tongue. The brand on it glowed for a few seconds before he snatched it off.

"I dropped my chakra into the big batch that he used to make the ink. For every ROOT member that he used that ink to brand, I am technically one of the masters that controls them." Naruto then snickered. "Well, for however many of them are left, anyway."

The Fox nodded. He watched as Naruto walked back into the kitchen and opened his fridge. Upon seeing that it was still empty, he groaned, then slammed it shut.

"I've already checked this. Why do I keep opening it?"

"Final question," the Fox asked, ignoring his warden's empty brain. "How did you do all of this without me knowing?"

"Oh, you knew, you were just too angry to remember."

"… what."

Naruto slipped on his shoes, preparing to leave to buy more grapes. He wasn't particularly fond of them, but he just got a new fruit bowl. He was going to use it.

"After three days in Danzo's presence, you got ridiculously upset. You wouldn't stop raving about how we needed to leave, so I sent you to the back of my mind while I finished the plan." Naruto stopped his dressing. "Wait, do you really not remember?"

The Fox went silent, and Naruto took that time to finish putting on his shoes. When he stood again the Fox continued talking.

"I… I do not know," he eventually said.

Naruto nodded, even if he didn't understand. "What makes you hate him so much, anyway? I mean, he's an old bastard, but we didn't know that when we first met him. Why do you hate him so much?"

The Fox hummed. He seemed to think for a few seconds, but as their thoughts were connected Naruto knew that he didn't have a real answer.

"I… I guess that I just don't like the way he smells. Something is off about him. Something about him makes the hairs on the end of my tails stand up. I haven't felt like this about someone since…"

The Fox trailed off. Naruto waited for him to say something, but he didn't.

"You can tell me when you're ready," Naruto said. The Fox hummed.

"Yeah," was all he said. Through their link, however, Naruto could feel the beast's gratitude. A smile on his face, Naruto turned into his apartment. He took two steps in before—

"Don't you dare check that fridge again."

"I don't know why I keep opening it! I know that there's nothing in there!"