Chapter 16
Draco sighed as he walked down an abandoned corridor. It was a late Tuesday night, and if he were caught out of bed then he would probably gain a combination of losing points and gaining detention depending on who found him. Of course, he could always claim that he was doing prefect duties, for it had worked many times in the past. But for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to lie to whoever may find him. Draco supposed that it was the goody-two-shoes nature that was rubbing off on him from all the times that he spent with Granger.
He noticed that he was beginning to change slowly. In the past, he would only try to do well in school to impress his father. However lately it seemed that he stopped trying to do it for his father, but more for himself. He had stopped hexing random students when he was in a bad mood, but began to find other sources to take out his anger. He mainly pushed most of that energy to find a way to fix the Cabinet; a feat that was becoming slightly easier now that Granger was also helping him do so.
He had no idea what Dumbledore's plan was. He was only told that the two of them would fix the Vanishing Cabinet and continue with the original play. The Headmaster told him that they would work out the tiny details once it got closer to the right time; but Draco was certain that he already had a specific plan in place. If there was one thing he knew about Dumbledore, was that even though he is completely mad, he is also brilliant.
Draco's head was still spinning with the events of the last several months. At times he couldn't believe that he had left everything that he knew behind, for this life that he knew nothing of. He would be losing everything by joining the Order, including his family and fortune. It didn't bother him so much to be losing the money, but it was the lifestyle that he felt unsure of. All his life he had grown up with a vast amount of wealth, able to buy anything and everything that he wanted. But now he had no idea what would happen to him. Would he go back to live with his parents, pretending that his mission was a success, while secretly feedback information to the Order? Or would the mission 'fail', and force him to go on the run? Would he then pretend to be dead, or would he be a known traitor? All of these questions plagued his mind late at night and inhibited from sleep. He wanted to voice his concerns to Granger, but he knew that she was just as in the dark as he.
Draco was still filled with shock over the acts that he had committed out of desperation to succeed. He had used one of the Unforgivable Curses on Madam Rosemerta, and almost killed the Bell girl and Weasley on separate occasions. Of course, he had lifted the curse on the barmaid once he changed sides, but he was forced to Obliviate her mind, so she wouldn't remember what he had done. He couldn't allow for his position to be compromised, even if he no longer supported the side.
He clenched his eyes shut momentarily as he thought about the acts of murder he had almost committed. Sure, he hated Weasley. Not because he was poor, or because of his family (as he often had claimed in the past), but because he had an awful way of treating those around him. He took his friends for granted, and often raised huge conflicts out of something that was so miniscule. He also hated the amount of times that he had made Granger cry. But despite all of that, he couldn't bring himself to want the boy to be dead.
He remembered a conversation between his mother and father one late night. He had just been branded, and had received his first task; to kill Dumbledore.
His mother had been filled with tears once she found out. Even though her sister and husband were Death Eaters, Narcissa Malfoy had never officially become one herself. She used the excuse that she needed to raise her son the right way, and everyone had bought that. She had later confided in him that it was because she never wanted this life, nor what it meant for her family. Once she found out that her only son was to become a Death Eater, she had, in private, broken down into sobs.
"You are not a killer, Draco," she cried as she embraced in her arms. She often would do so when he was a child, but had not done it since. He could tell that she was worried. Hell, so was he. But he also knew what would happen if he had failed his task. Voldemort had been more than clear about what would happen then to everyone and everything that he loved.
He closed his eyes, "Mother, I have to! You don't understand what he'll do to you; what he'll do to all of us, if I fail!"
She had looked into his eyes, with a haunting expression. "Draco, I want you to promise me that you won't turn into your father. I want you to be your own person. And if this path is what you want, then I will support you, but if it isn't, then please do anything to get out of this life."
Her words had puzzled him for the longest time. While he had known that his mother wasn't as keen on the Pureblood ideals as the rest of her family, he had often thought that she just didn't voice her opinions as much. She never spoke out against his father when he started ranting about how mudbloods were polluting their world. But he never questioned it. His mother was a gentle soul, and that was all there was to it.
She wanted him out of this life, and so did he. So that's what he did. He found a way out, and he took it. He only hoped that he would be able to find a way to get her out as well.
Draco walked around the corner, but had forgotten to check to see if there was anyone on the other side. As he made his way around the bend, he walked straight into the prefect who was patrolling the area: Granger.
"Draco," she exclaimed, sounding surprised to see him. "What are you doing out of bed?"
"I, well, was, I, uh-" he stuttered. He hadn't planned on seeing her. And even if he tried to use his excuse of patrolling, he knew that she would see straight through his lie. "I was taking a walk. I needed to clear my head, you know?" he told her, deciding it was simply best to tell the truth.
She nodded understandingly, "Do you want some company?" she asked him, with a slight smile on her face.
His eyes widened, "What, you're not going to give me a punishment for being out of bed?" he asked, slightly startled that she was acting as if he weren't breaking school rules.
"I'm not that strict about rules, am I?" she asked. As he raised an eyebrow at her, she laughed before replying, "Okay, maybe I am. But a punishment is meant to fit the crime. And while you are out of bed, I understand that you need to think. This year hasn't exactly been easy for you. Just don't tell anyone I said that, or they'll think that I'll let them get away with anything," she said with a laugh once more.
He could honestly swear at that moment, that her laugh was once of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard. It wasn't like Pansy's laugh, which held a shrill tone to it, or Theo's laugh, which was rough sounding. No, hers was soft and delicate, yet it still sounded almost musical.
"Thanks Granger," he said earnestly. He felt relieved that she not only wasn't about to punish him, but understood his current predicament.
She squeezed his hand softly, and allowed for her hand to linger over his for a moment longer than normal. It wasn't much, but he still felt his heart soar at the contact.
Hermione must have been able to tell that he wanted to have a distraction from his problems. As the two of them resumed walking, she spoke up and said, "Sometimes, I wonder what my life would have been like if I never found out that I am a witch," she said. Her gaze had a slightly distant expression about them.
"What do you mean?" he asked. "Wouldn't your life be worse off then? Not that I have anything against muggles, but would the life you could have had been better than the one that you have now?"
She seemed to struggle to answer the question; however she finally responded with, "I'm not sure. I didn't exactly fit in with them. I always knew that I was different, but I never knew what it was. To some extent, I always knew that I had magic, but a part of me wouldn't believe. I believed in logic; what I could see or what I knew was normal. And I definitely wasn't normal.
"If I never came here, then maybe I wouldn't have had to grow up so quickly. Maybe I wouldn't be in danger just because of my blood. But then, I could always have been one of those muggles who got murdered simply because the Death Eaters wanted to have some fun. But then I think of everything I have now. I have gained a second family with the Weasleys, and a brother in Harry. It's all a part of me now; the magic, the family, the memories, and I don't think that I could ever live without it anymore," she said in a distant tone.
He took in her answer, as he watched her expression. She belonged in this world. Granger was the top of their year, no matter how much it annoyed him, and her skills with magic exceeded those of any student he had ever seen, both older and younger. She deserved to be at this school, regardless of her blood status.
"Well Granger, if it makes you feel any better, I'm glad that you're here. You might have had a chance of being 'normal' if you never found out, but now that you've discovered this person that you are, you should embrace it. Potter and Weasley are lucky to have you by their sides, and saving them from failing miserably out of school," he said honestly.
She smiled at him, like really smiled at him. It was still a new sight to him and it caught him off guard. After getting over his surprise, he did something unexpected; he smiled back.
The two of them continued to walk around the school on her rounds. After they were done, he walked her up to the Gryffindor tower, before making his way down to the dungeons. It was nice that it was after hours; that way the two of them didn't have to worry about being spotted by any other students and having rumours spread about the two of them. When it was just the two of them, Draco found that he could be the person that he wanted to be, instead of the person which he was expected to be.
Theo sat on his bed, holding a letter between two shaking hands. The thing that he had dreaded the most had finally happened. He had received his letter of initiation from Lord Voldemort.
He had tried to push it off to the end of the year. Theo had reasoned with his father that it was useless for him to join up without an education, and the Dark Lord had accepted that before. But apparently He had changed his mind. Voldemort had decided that he wanted to initiate Theo, but keep him in school for the next two years. He was given the task of quietly recruiting the younger students of Hogwarts.
It was nothing compared to the task that Draco was given, but for that he was glad. Theo didn't want to have to go around and murder people; he hated that sort of thing. Yes, Theo believed completely in Pureblood Supremacy, but he hated how Voldemort was going about trying to do so.
Oh sweet Merlin, what was he going to do? He didn't want this; he didn't want to be a Death Eater. He threw the letter to the side of the bed and buried his head between his both of his hands. Engulfed in this state, he did not hear Blaise come into their dorm.
"Theo?" the Italian boy asked in an unsure voice. "Are you alright? Has something happened?"
Without uttering a single word, Theo gestured toward the sheet of paper on the bed beside where he was sitting.
He watched as his friend scanned the contents of the letter before looking up at him. His face was filled with dread and pain.
"Oh Theo," the boy said. "What are we going to do about this?"
Theo looked up at him at the word 'we'. It surprised him, as Slytherins were characteristically known for their lack of sympathy towards others. They were cunning, and would use others' misfortunes for their own personal gain. But then, Blaise was no ordinary Slytherin.
"I don't know," Theo said, sounding absolutely miserable. "I can't do this, Blaise. I'm not cut out for this sort of lifestyle."
Blaise sat down beside him on the bed. "What if you talk to Draco? Maybe he could help you out. He's apparently in good books with the Death Eaters after the Diagon Alley situation, so maybe he will be able to talk Voldemort out of using you yet," Blaise tried.
Theo shook his head, "Draco has more than enough problems at the moment. Besides, the Dark Lord already views us Notts to be inferior purebloods. If I add to that, then I am only contributing to his theory. And in the end, it will only end up being worse for me."
Blaise tried again, "Well maybe Draco could help you with some of the recruitment?"
Theo sighed, "That's just the thing. I think Draco is starting to take to this whole Death Eater thing. And if he finds out that I am opposed to it, then what if he tells Voldemort that I am unloyal?"
Blaise frowned, "Draco wouldn't do that. He's loyal to his friends. He wouldn't sell you out. Don't you remember how opposed he was to this whole thing too? Maybe he found a way out."
"I remember, but then the Diagon Alley thing happened. And he refuses to talk about it, so we have no way of knowing what actually happened during the fight. For all we know, he enjoyed it, and lost all his uncertainty towards the cause.
Blaise still looked unsure, but seemed to accept what Theo had to say. "I can't tell Draco that I need to get out. Please, promise me that you won't tell him either," Theo said, after pondering his thoughts further.
Blaise looked like he wanted to argue back, but to the immense relief of Theo, he didn't. "Alright, but if you change your mind, then tell me. But for now, we need to figure out what you're going to do about the recruitments."
Theo sighed, "I want out Blaise. I don't think that I'll ever want to be a part of his ranks. And if that means that I have to go on the run now, then so be it."
"You're not going to finish your studies?" Blaise asked, sounding completely stunned with his friend's declaration.
"What choice do I have? If I stay here and don't go by what Voldemort wants me to do, then he will have me killed. It's the only chance that I stand."
Blaise clenched his eyes shut. "And you can't go to Dumbledore for help?" he asked.
"Why would Dumbledore want to help me? I have absolutely nothing to offer. Sure, he could help me for a while, but what happens if Draco succeeds and the old man dies? After that, I will probably be on my own anyways. So isn't it easier to just go on the run now?"
Blaise was unhappy with the solution. "I don't like it Theo. They may be able to help you. And you don't know if Draco will succeed. He's Dumbledore, for Merlin's sake. He's not going to be easy to kill. For all we know, if Draco does go through with it, then he could be the one who dies. But if you want to leave, and you feel that it is the only option, then I'll help you."
Theo smiled, "Thank you, Blaise. I'll have to leave soon. There really is no use in me prolonging my stay here. There's nothing more for me to get from of this school anyway."
"Where will you go?"
The question was simple enough, but it still left Theo feeling unsure of the answer. He supposed he could always go and stay at one of his family's smaller estates. He could take a house elf with him (one his family wouldn't miss), and make no contact with the rest of the world. In a perfect world, it would be a plan with no complications. But Merlin knew wouldn't simply be that easy. There were going to be obstacles, but he was going to have to try. It was either this, or death.
Upon telling Blaise his plans, he noticed that the boy looked hesitant. He didn't blame Blaise for thinking of all the possible risks involved with the plan. The boy was brilliant; the third in their year. He knew that the school would be confused about his disappearance, and that both Draco and Blaise were probably going to be questioned about his whereabouts. But at this moment, he couldn't afford to think of those things.
"So what do you need to pack?"