Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who review! If you have any suggestions or things that you'd really like to see, I'd love to hear them!

"Rossi, damn you, help me!" Hotch shouted. He put his arms up to defend against the attacks of JJ and Garcia.

Rossi chuckled quietly. He shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry, Hotch. Don't you know the rules? No teams."

Hotch gestured wildly at JJ and Garcia, who were blasting him with their cannons. "No teams? Look what they're doing to me! Damn it, Dave, get off your high unicorn and help me!"

Rossi laughed at the wordplay, but continued his leisurely float across the deep end.

"Dave!" Hotch sounded desperate.

Oh, what fun. Rossi patted Betsie's soft plastic mane. "Good girl, Bestie. Good girl," Rossi muttered. Nobody would be able to hear him over the racket that Prentiss was making in the shallow end.

"Take that!" Prentiss shrieked, hitting Morgan square in the face with a well-aimed blast.

Morgan garbled his words of threatened revenge. He aimed his cannon at Prentiss' face, but she yanked it out of his grasp and held it high over her head.

"Want your cannon, little pig?" she taunted.

Morgan lunged at her. He knew she would never be able to dodge him. He was like an oncoming train; powerful, unstoppable. Yes, this was Morgan at his finest, reasserting himself as the alpha.

Prentiss had counted on this, however. She leapt backward, hitting the pool wall. She backed up against it and kicked off, a human torpedo zooming straight for Morgan's stomach.

Thunk.

Prentiss collided with Morgan. Winded, Morgan staggered sideways. He seemed to be in shock.

Prentiss giggled with glee and began skipping across the shallow end, waving Morgan's bright pink cannon over her head.

Morgan, recovering, squinted at his noodle cannon.

"Gimme that," Morgan mumbled thickly.

"Here, pig-pig-piggy!" Prentiss called.

Morgan shuddered. Prentiss was still alpha, not him. He needed to pull his act together. But for now, his only option was to trail around the shallow end, following Prentiss and his neon pink foam noodle.

"Yee-hee-hee!" Garcia laughed.

JJ looked at her. "What was that?" She reloaded and shot again at Hotch, who was practically begging for mercy.

"That was my new and improved evil/insane laugh! Few who hear it live to tell the tale!" Garcia happily blasted Hotch in the face.

"Okay, then," JJ said. She inched away from Garcia.

Reid couldn't see, hear, smell, or talk. His goggles were fogged up and half filled with pool water. The water had chlorine in it, which made his eyes itchy. His ears both had water in them, which made his head feel like it was full of pudding. He couldn't smell because his sinuses had been scoured with pool water. He couldn't talk or cry for help because his yellow foam noodle had been shoved into his mouth, courtesy of Prentiss.

He flailed his arms weakly. Nobody took notice, at least that's what he assumed, because no one came to his rescue, but he couldn't really tell, what with his senses being somewhat clogged at the moment. He whined. The sound got muffled by the noodle projecting from his mouth. He took a deep breath and decided to use his brain.

Reid sank low in his duck ring. His feet touched the pool floor, and he figured that he was just about where the shallow end merged with the deep end. He decided that the first thing he should do was get his ears cleared up. That way, he would be able to steer clear of any violent battles based on the noise they made.

He whacked his head and rubbed his ears. His right ear opened up first, followed by his left. Reid listened for the sound of his shockingly violent teammates. He heard Prentiss taunting Morgan. Fortunately, she was ignoring Reid for the moment. Far off to his left, he heard what sounded like Hotch begging for his life. Creepy laughter followed.

Reid shook his head, glad that he could hear, and decided to do a depth check before clearing out his goggles. He sank low again, but couldn't find the pool floor. He must have drifted into the deep end. No worries; he had his duck pool ring and water-wings.

Reid felt like he was going to sneeze. He decided to hold it in, because if the sound drew Prentiss' attention, he was probably doomed. Reid stifled the sneeze, which was difficult due to the fact that his mouth was propped open by the noodle, but he managed. His ears popped. Watery mucus poured down the back of his throat.

Grimacing, Reid swallowed the mucus. Eew. But at least he could smell again.

Reid's duck ring jolted him as it bumped into another ring.

"Whoa, Betsie," he heard a voice say. The voice was too quiet to identify.

Reid whimpered, afraid it would be Prentiss.

"Need any help?" The voice was louder now, and Reid recognized it as Rossi's. Good, at least it wasn't Prentiss. But then Reid remembered the murderous expression Rossi had held after Reid had accidentally blasted him with water earlier.

Reid squirmed in his ring, about to flee.

Rossi grabbed Reid by what could only be called the scruff of his neck and dragged him back toward Rossi.

"Hold still," Rossi told Reid.

Reid whined. He didn't want to hold still so that Rossi could dissect him and eat his remains.

Rossi pulled the yellow foam noodle out of Reid's mouth. Reid gagged and waggled his tongue. Rossi handed Reid the noodle, and Reid pushed it under the water to help support him. He cleared out his goggles and put them back on.

"What happened to you?" Rossi asked, amused. Of course, Rossi already knew what had happened, but he chose not to tell Reid that.

Reid grumbled something, looking down at his feet beneath the water.

"Didn't catch that," Rossi said.

Reid sighed. "Prentiss happened." He pointed in the direction of Prentiss, who had just been tackled by Morgan.

Rossi and Reid watched as Morgan dragged his pink noodle from Prentiss' grasp and did a little victory dance with it. Prentiss emerged from the water, spitting mad, and lunged at Morgan. Morgan yelped. He turned tail and ran as best he could. Prentiss chased him in murderous pursuit.

"Yeah," Rossi said. "I can see that."

Reid and Rossi floated, watching as Morgan got slammed down. Prentiss laughed and sat on him, holding him down in the water. Morgan threw her off and stood up, looking remarkably creepy in his pink pig ring.

He splashed toward Prentiss, who took him down with a flying tackle.

"Do you think we should help him?" Reid asked.

"Nah," Rossi said.

"Why not?" Reid looked at Rossi, who was trying to appear manly and majestic astride his unicorn ring and noodle.

"Well, when it comes to tackling, the fight becomes Morgan's football training against Prentiss' insanity. Morgan is doomed, and so are all who choose to help him," Rossi explained.

"I hear you on that one," Reid said.

"Come along, Betsie. We're through here," Rossi said.

Reid looked at him oddly. Had Rossi just called him Betsie?

Rossi turned away from the fight and began to sail across the deep end, with the lowering sun at his back.