Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Glee or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.
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Guest – I hope this chapter clears up some of the questions you had.
Waiting for Forever
Year Two: Cotton
"You're staring." Sam mumbled.
"I just – I can't believe you're here." Blaine dropped his gaze perusing the brightly colored sunglasses on the rack. This lasted only a second, his eyes creeping over to keep staring at Sam. "You look so different."
"Good different?"
Since Sam showed up suddenly on his doorstep this morning Blaine felt like he was in a dream sequence. Even though they talked all the time, he hadn't seen him in person in over fourteen months. Sam looked taller, blonder. "Incredible different." He mumbled, skin heating.
The sides of Sam's mouth lifted in a self-conscious smile, their eyes meeting and dropping. Nerves zinged between them making the bittersweet union even more awkward. "So Mike and Tina are back on?" He asked.
"I have no idea what's going on with those two." Blaine laughed, happy to focus on other dysfunctional couples. "Tina showed up in tears two days ago, screaming about how all men are crap and she was going to pull a 'Quinn'. Five hours later, Mike was at my door and they've been glued at the tonsils ever since. I couldn't get a wink of sleep for all their making up. Loudly. All night. Now I don't know if they are dating or if their relationship is just specific to my couch."
"Isn't that weird?"
"I'm currently immune to weird." Blaine leaned over checking out his refection in the mirror. The yellow frames just didn't have the same impact as the pink. "It was getting over crowded at the Bushwick loft so I gave Rachel an emergency key for when Jake and Marley had interviews at NYU. Now I'm never sure who I will find on that couch in the morning. Britt and Santana. Naked Brody. Drunk Artie. Devastated Finn. Brody and Quinn – that one's a secret so you can't tell anyone - Brittany running from Santana. Jake and Ryder – Yeah that happened. An absolutely terrifying crying makeup-less Kitty. Puck. Puck. Puck. Tina. Now Mike. There are sounds that have come out of my living room in the dead of night that I will never be able to get out of my head."
"It's like you're running a sanctuary for the super horny."
"Mostly for the desperate. Given how incestuous the group is, I'm not surprised by all the sex." Blaine dropped the glasses as Sam dragged him out of the store. Falling into step beside him, they took another turn around the block while they waited for Mike and Tina to get decent and get the hell out of his apartment. "But they are my friends and I like being needed. As long as they restock the fridge, clean up after themselves and none of them sleeps in my bed, ever, they can stay as long as they want."
Walkin along in a weird silence, hands bumping Blaine glanced up at Sam arrested by the waythe late morning sun turned his hair to gold. Stop staring. He reminded himself eyes still lingering on his profile. Why isn't he saying anything? At a loss of what to do he continued to try to fill in the silence. Maybe if he talked enough…
"And once, I found Lord Tubbington, I'm not kidding, I opened my door and there he was. Staring at me with those eyes. It was like all those stories Britt told about him didn't seem so made up….argh." He shrieked as something brushed his nape. He turned round to find Sam's grinning at him, lips stretched wide, eyes dancing.
"Dammit Sam. S'not funny." He walked ahead then paused realizing Sam had stopped a few feet behind. Looking up he realized he was home. With a sheepish smile he walked back heading up the concrete stairs.
"You talk a lot when you're nervous." Sam said.
With his feet in the first step Blaine turned, the added height putting his eyes level with Sam's amused green ones. "You don't." What else could he add? That he was floundering in front of this man whose future he was promised.
Sam shuffled forward, his head tilted. "I miss you." Blaine inhaled sharply as their fronts touched. "I didn't really understand what you were doing last year with the flowers and the ninja…"
"Not a ninja."
"But I get it now. I saved all year to get here so I could tell you that I understand. Today is ours."
God, his lips and the sweet things they said.
"We can be romantic and stuff. Right? I can hold your hand –" The warm palm twined with his pulling him impossibly closer. "And I get to call you honey instead of dude or bro or bromigo…"
Smiling Blaine leaned into him. "Honey?"
"Yes because today I get to tell you what I think about the other 364 days of the year. Like how much I love your eyes. Your beautiful honey eyes. How it kills me every time you look at me. How I want kiss you all the time."
Blaine shuddered, his lips a mere hairs breadth from his. "My god Sammy. You can't say stuff like that and expect me not to kiss you."
A shrieked, 'Oh my god' shattered their closeness. Blaine eyes slipped shut, disappointment riding him. Fucking Tina Cohen Chang. He really was going to kill her. Sam's hand squeezed his as they turned around but he didn't let go. The flabbergasted pair above them gaped back. Blaine didn't think he'd ever seen Tina's eyes look bigger as she pointed speechless between them. Or that Mike face could achieve that particular shade of puce.
"Wha - when?"
"Um –" Blaine turned to Sam for help meeting his equally clueless stare but before they could decide what label to put on them.
Mike swore, maneuvering his girl past them with a hissed. "God Tina! Can't you see they want to be alone?"
"This is not over, Blaine." She yelled. "I demand details."
Watching them leave, Blaine hustled Sam inside, up the stairs and into the recently vacated apartment. Just inside the door he faced him, contrition oozing from every pore. "I am so sorry, Sam. I should have been more careful."
"Why?"
"Sam-" How wasn't he getting it? Or freaking the fuck out. "You are being strangely cavalier about this for someone who just got shoved out of the closet."
"It was bound to come out sometime. This way is easier; we don't have to make a big announcement. Tina can do it for us." Sam said pushing past him and striding into the living room. Blaine followed him finding him standing indecisive by the infamous pull out couch. "Unless there's another reason you don't want everybody to know?"
"Me? No! I want you to be okay." Edging forward Blaine slipped his hand back in Sam's "Besides this means you can spend the night right? And I can bar the door and keep the rest of Lima out. And I can come see you in LA without worrying about what Mercedes will think."
"You can come see me in Nashville."
"What?" Blaine backed away. "You're moving? Again?"
"Yeah. Emery says if you want to break into the country music scene moving to Nashville is the best way to do it. I did some research and found this article online in which Blake Shelton attributes his success to leaving his hometown to pursue his career in Tennessee. So it must be true."
"Emery? The girl you just let in your band?"
"Yeah."
"Is that what you want? Nashville and…" Girls in your band. "Wait! What happened with Mercedes?"
"She's blowing up right now. You heard her new single, it's freaking incredible. I want the same thing, you know. I've gotta try to make something of myself." The 'for you' hang between them.
"I can wait tables and park cars anywhere." Sam shrugged clearly unconcerned to be traversing the country to chase down yet another dream. "I know how you worry but I am not doing this alone. All the guys are driving down in the van with Dalton. We'll get a place and all crash together. It will be like an adventure."
"Five guys crammed into one tiny apartment? Sounds –" Blaine paused trying to be diplomatic. "Uncomfortable."
"You could come check it out over the summer."
"No offence but I'm not…"
"The type to slum it." Sam's wave encompassed the spacious apartment.
Blaine looked around. This wasn't the abode of a typical college student. His parents had insisted primarily on him being in a safe neighborhood and since they tended to throw money at him to compensate for their absence, he had found a nice slightly expensive place to live. "I'm not a snob, Sam. I have been camping before. The fact that I will never voluntarily do it again is neither here nor there. And how does it work with Emery? Does she get her own place? I can't imagine any girl would want to deal with that mess."
"She's not a prima donna like most girls, she's really cool." Coming off Blaine's refusal to stay over, it made him sound really uptight. Being fastidious wasn't a flaw. It wasn't a crime to want things, neat and clean.
After circling the couch for the third time, Sam perched on one of the fat arms. "What's going on with you anyway? For someone who was dying to get into NYADA you don't seem super excited to be there."
Blaine shrugged. "I love it but I'm so tired most of the time that I don't know that I love it." He caught Sam's puzzled frown. "Does that make any sense?"
"No"
Sitting on the coffee table in front of him, he tried to explain. "New York is the greatest city on earth if you like living in an ant colony, which I do but I miss – connecting with people, you know. And being at NYADA is a lot to take in, the students are passionate, ambitious, incredibly driven, and the faculty is hypercritical. It is a lot of pressure. Performing on stage - the lights and the applause - is the only time I feel like I'm right where I need to be."
"You're lucky. Emery says the same thing; being on stage makes her feel alive or something. I don't get it. I don't feel that way about anything yet."
Emery. Blaine had heard her name often times over the past two months. Emery says this and Emery thinks that. It hadn't been a problem but for some reason when Sam said it now with that look on his face, Blaine heard alarm bells.
"Speaking of Em - how did she end up as lead singer of your band?"
"She hates being called Em."
Of course
"I know you think I'm the shit but you haven't watched us perform. Emery's got all this crazy energy, it drives crowd wild. Making her lead was the smart decision. Be happy that I'm finally making some smart decisions."
"I want you to be happy. Whether it's with a Country Rock band or apparently with Emery."
"It's not like that."
"Then tell me what it is like." Bitterness coated pain. Pushing to his feet, Blaine started to pace. "Sam, we are twenty years old. I'm not naïve enough to believe that you aren't sleeping with anyone without coming across like a hypocrite. But I - I thought we – weren't doing serious with anyone else."
"It's not serious."
By this point Blaine was way past rational. "Is that why you came all this way? To tell me about your new relationship?"
"Calm down, okay. There is no relationship. Emery and I are just hooking up. It means nothing."
"It means nothing now."
"I don't understand you when you go all robot."
Blaine's brow furrowed his brain making the connection. Robot – robot lingo – cryptic. Explain. "I mean you fall in love real easy, Sam."
"At least I'm not making plans to buy lighthouses and go antiquing."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Kurt, your soul mate. You so conveniently left his name out of that long list of Glee alumni." Freezing, Blaine stared back at him. "I know Ryder and Jake have a thing now and Tina is really loud in bed but what about Kurt? The love of your life."
"Sam –" He stumbled forward, stopping when Sam backed away. Okay truth time, he clenched his fist; skin clammy, heart rate tripling. "We are - were hooking up from time to time but it means nothing."
"I tell everybody I meet about you. I told Emery the very first day she made a move that it could only ever be just sex between us because I have someone. I have you." Giving him a small sad smile, Sam sank back onto the couch. "Have you told anyone?"
Blaine crossed his arms and shook his head.
"That's why you're worried about Tina blabbing."
"I was scared for you."
"No. You're worried about how Kurt will react." He sighed, miserable. "If you can't tell him then what we have –" Sam gestured between them. "This is not real."
The buzzing of Sam's cell startled Blaine and he vaguely followed the conversation when Sam put it on speaker. It was Mike warning them that Tina had told – well, everybody and they were all coming over.
Blaine ducked his head ashamed. He had been hiding the status of their relationship, hoarding it really but not for the reason Sam thought. Deep down, a part of him struggled to believe that this was real, if he told everyone and Sam changed his mind, decided he wasn't gay, met some girl and left him. Everybody would know.
He had been avoiding Kurt for the past couple of weeks, pushing him back towards Adam or anybody that was not him because he was waiting for Sam to be ready. So he waited and turned down dates from all the guys - and girls - who asked him out because dating for him was like taking a staircase that went nowhere. All they'd every get out of him was conversation and maybe sex. He was already irrevocably committed to Sam. Every emotion, every shred of feeling was saved for him. How could he not know that?
As Sam hang up, he rushed forward, "Listen to me, Sammy. I want you." The quieter Sam was the faster his heart rate got. "I want what we could have, will have in eight years. I will tell Kurt everything. There is no one for me but you."
When Sam's arms slipped around his waist he sagged against him in relief.
"I'm sorry, I'm so insecure." He mumbled lips brushing against his forehead.
"You can have whatever you need from me. Okay?" Blaine snuggled in closer. "Time. Distance. Emery."
"She's not important to me."
"I know." Blaine wrapped his arms around his neck brushing their lips. "Just - Don't fall in love with her. Remember you are mine."
"I promise." Sam replied just before the door burst open with Santana leading the charge.
