I AM SO SORRY! I had writer's block like you wouldn't BELIEVE, but I'm baaaaaack. *cue creepy music* Also, the song at the end of this chapter is "The Great Pretender" by the Platters. Please, do read on!
CHAPTER 11: FIRESIDE CHAT
"The one I've been thinking about on this trip isn't a ghost story, you guys," Gordie started off with.
I let out a breath. "Thank God. I know I sound like Vern when I say this, but I just can't take another one of your horror stories tonight, Gordo."
Vern yelled, "HEY!" as Teddy, Chris and Gordie laughed. "What is this genius story about anyway, Gordie?" Teddy asked.
Gordie replied, "Well, it's about this pie eating contest, and the main character is this fat kid that nobody likes named Davie Hogan-"
"Like Charlie Hogan's brother! If he had one," Vern piped up.
Chris rolled his eyes. "Good, Vern." I couldn't help but laugh a bit. Chris noticed me laughing and… did I just see Chris Chambers blush? At ME? I must have imagined it, but when I looked back at him to check, Chris shook himself and responded, "Go on, Gordie."
Gordie obliged. "Now, this kid is our age, but he's fat. REAL fat. He weighs close to 200 pounds. But it's not his fault, you know, it's his glands."
Before Gordie could go any further, however, Vern interrupted yet again. I was starting to think interruptions were becoming old Verno's trademark. "Oh, yeah, my cousin's like that! Sincerely! She weighs over 300 pounds! It's supposed to be a hyboid gland or something. I don't know about any hyboid gland, but what a blimp! No shit! She looks like a Thanksgiving turkey! And you know, this one time-"
Chris finally said, as calmly as he could, "Shut up, Vern."
Vern suddenly remembered that Gordie was in the middle of a story and responded, "Yeah, right. Go ahead, Gordie, it's a swell story."
"Well, all the kids, instead of calling him Davie, they call him Lardass… Lardass Hogan. Even his little brother and sister call him Lardass. At school, they put this sticker on his back that says "Wide Load", and they pummel him and beat him up whenever they get the chance. But one day, he gets an idea… the greatest revenge idea a kid ever had…"
We all then became mesmerized by the tale of Lardass, and the Great Tri-County Pie Eat. Lardass had entered the contest, and this random dude named Bill Travis was hell-bent on beating him. How Gordie could come up with this stuff, I could never quite figure out. Of course, once it escalated into the climactic, ahem, "barf-o-rama", I quickly lost interest. I listened as the boys endlessly praised Gordie's story, and then I turned on the radio as the boys came over to where we had set up our sleeping bags.
Chris sighed as he sat on his sleeping bag, which was placed next to mine, and lit another cigarette.
"Something wrong, Chris?" I asked him. It wasn't very often he smoked two cigarettes in a period of half an hour.
Chris just shrugged. "It's just… I'm going to miss Gordie, you know? We've never been apart for more than a couple days since we were two." He then focused his eyes on me. "I'd miss you like crazy too."
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Was he trying to make me fall even MORE deeply in love with him? "I'd miss you too, Chris. I wouldn't miss all your smoking, though," I teased him as I grabbed the cigarette out of his mouth and flung it into the fire.
Chris shook his head and smiled. "What am I going to do without you, Joey?" he laughed.
I put my hand on his shoulder. "You don't need to talk like we're never going to see each other again, Chris." I turned to the others. "Am I right, my good men?"
They all sort of nodded, but I could tell they were getting tired. I turned the volume on the radio down and listened as the soft music lulled me to sleep before any of the others. It's funny; I can still remember the words to the song on the radio: "Oh yes, I'm the great pretender/ Pretending I'm doing well/ My need is such/ I pretend too much/ I'm lonely but no one can tell."