CHAPTER 13: IT'S ALL FOR LOVE

I watched him walk back over to the tree and slide down against it. He looked so sad, I just wanted to go over there and comfort him. I walked over to the tree and sat next to him. "I can't sleep," I cut him off when he opened his mouth to scold me for not going back to sleep.

"Hm," he responded before looking out in the forest.

"You know what you were saying earlier about me and Gordie going into the college courses?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, maybe you could enroll with us."

Chris scoffed. "That'll be the day."

"Why not, Buddy Holly? You're definitely smart enough," I responded. Chris really should have gone off for college courses.

Chris turned to me. "It's the way people think of my family in this town and the way they think of me; I'm just one of those low-life Chambers kids."

I had always hated that perception of the Chambers family, just because Chris had defied it to the nth degree. "That's not true," I responded matter-of-factly.

"Oh, it is," Chris said back. "Nobody even asked me if I took the milk money that time. I just got a three-day vacation."

A few weeks before school ended, Chris was the primary suspect for stealing all of the milk money at school. They had never really investigated it, but it was "clear" to everyone (except us, of course) that he had taken it. Still, I was the firmest believer that he hadn't taken it, even though he told me that he had. "Well, did you take it?" I asked.

"Yeah, I took it," Chris responded, as if that was the most obvious answer in the world. "You knew I took it. Gordie knew I took it. Teddy knew I took it." He sighed. "Everyone knew I took it. Even Vern knew it, I think."

I smiled for a moment, but then heard something shocking come out of Chris's mouth. "But… but maybe I was sorry and tried to give it back."

I turned to him. Did he really just say… "You tried to give it back?"

"Maybe. Just maybe. And maybe, I gave the money to Old Lady Simons and it was all there, but I still got a three day vacation because it never showed up."

I got the impression that every single "maybe" that Chris said meant "yes" in this little retelling. "Oh, God, Chris," was all I could say.

Chris went on anyway, getting angrier all the time. "And maybe, the next week, Old Lady Simons showed up to school with a new suit on."

Holy shit. "Yeah, yeah! It was brown and it had all the dots on it!"

"Yeah. So let's just say I stole the money, but Old Lady Simons stole it back from me. Just suppose that I told the story! Me, Chris Chambers, kid brother to Eyeball Chambers! No one would believe me, would they?"

I just whispered, "No."

"And do you think that that bitch would have DARED try something like that if it had been one of those preppy-ass kids from Fairview if THEY had taken the money?"

I shook my head. "No way!"

"Hell no! But with me?" Chris turned away from me again. All I could do was think, How could this happen? Why would someone do something like that to an incredible boy like Chris? I put my hand on his shoulder, but he wrenched out from me. "Anyway, she saw her chance and she took it. She probably had her eye on that skirt for a long time anyway."

And then, I saw something I never thought I'd ever see in my life: Christopher Chambers started to cry. And not just a little misty eye sort of thing; he started to sob. "I just never thought… I never thought a teacher… Oh, who gives a fuck, anyway?" he choked through his tears. He then started to cry some more. I swear, I could literally feel my heart rip down the middle. And then, Chris whispered in his tear-ridden voice something that has haunted me for years:

"I just wish that I could go someplace where nobody knows me."

It was just too much. As Chris began to sob again, I pulled him into a hug and cradled him like a baby. I could feel his tears soaking my shirt. He turned his head up to look into my eyes. "I must be a big pussy, huh?" he cried softly.

"No, no," I whispered softly as I caressed his head. "You are a kind, brave, sweet, good young man. And you've just had too much shit happen to you in your life."

Chris sniffed and sat up. "It's funny. I, um… You remember back at the fire when I said I'd miss you and Gordie?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I said that because… you're gonna meet new guys in the college courses. Smart guys. Well-adjusted."

I shrugged. "And…"

Chris rolled his eyes. "Joe, you and Gordie are going to have a better chance in life than me, Teddy and Vern are ever going to have. You're going to forget about us."

I shook my head. "Shut up, you're being a dumbass," I whispered as I hugged him again.

"I don't want that to happen, Johanna." Chris pulled away and took my chin in his hands. "You… you're the only real family I've ever had. You and the boys. I don't want that to go away." He shook his head. "Maybe I'm just being selfish."

"Christopher Joseph Chambers, don't you DARE ever think such a thing again," I spat out venomously.

He turned to me. "I probably shouldn't do this, since you're already pissed, but… I've always wondered what you'd look like without your hair in a ponytail. I mean, I saw that picture that Mickey painted, but I don't think a brown twig coming out of the side of your head constitutes as hair, if you know what I mean."

"I'm sorry, but before I shatter all preconceived notions of my image, I want to know why."

Chris looked at me again. This time, he moved a bit closer to me. I could see his eyes searching mine, but for what, I could not say. "Going for broke," he whispered.

"Wh-" I was cut off by feeling Chris's lips on mine. It had always been my dream to have my first kiss with a guy like Chris. The fact that it actually came from Chris came as a pleasant surprise. A trillion thoughts were all flashing through my mind at once, but the biggest one was, Man, he's a good kisser.

It almost felt like I was in a beautiful dream, watching it all happen. I could feel my hands move to his face, and his fingers stroke the stray curls on the nape of my neck.

Soon (MUCH too soon) Chris broke away. "Wow…" I whispered.

Chris nodded. "Yup."

We sat in stunned, awkward, post-first-kiss silence for a moment. I just didn't know what to say. Was I really just kissed by the boy of my dreams? There was only one way I could know for sure: "Chris, could you do something for me, please?"

"Anything, Joe."

"Can you pinch me?"

The two of us looked at each other for a moment, and then Chris burst into peals of laughter. "Oh, you liked it that much?"

"Why yes, as a matter of fact, I did! Don't laugh! Stop!" I yelled at him, while laughing myself, of course.

He smiled as he slung an arm around me. "So… will you take your hair out now?"

I whined, "Do I have to?"

"Not if you don't want to," he said hurriedly.

I giggled, reached up, and took my pony tail out. My hair fell down to my shoulders, and I shook it out. "Well, there you have it," I sighed.

Chris smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "Beautiful," he whispered.

"Did you just call me beautiful, Chris?"

Chris nodded. "You may punch me now if you wish."

"Oh, get your romantic ass over here," I said as I pulled him by his shirt into another kiss. I could feel him laughing, and we pulled away after too long.