So, I'll be completely honest.

I wasn't expecting this chapter to exist.

Uncharted territory, y'all.

The Prankster King of Konoha

Chapter 7:

The Tournament Arc

Naruto was a simple man. He saw a good prank target, he pranked that prank target. Usually with whatever first popped into his head. His pranks were varied; he would sometimes do them for the challenge, like sneaking into the Inuzuka compound and placing a stink bomb right at the kennels. Sometimes he would do them because it was poetically fitting, like placing flash bombs everywhere in the Hyuuga compound.

Sometimes, however, he played completely meaningless pranks. He had pranked Sasuke by stealing all of his tomatoes once. He did not expect the boy to raze the surrounding area to the ground looking for them.

Regardless of his motive, Naruto's pranks were always well thought out and, at the very least, classy. He had come a long way since his early childhood, and was now into the finer, mature things. There was one prank that he couldn't ignore, however, no matter how many times he repeated it.

"Lee, I know that you can't be falling for this again."

Tenten, Naruto's bun-haired senior, watched in obvious frustration as her teammate walked haplessly around the field just outside the exam building. He held his arms aloft, trying his best to feel about himself. The reason for this behavior? There was a piece of paper draped over his eyes.

"Yosh, Tenten! I am very serious! Our youthful friend Naruto has finally perfected his blindness seal and I must test it for him!"

The boy followed this statement by walking headfirst into a wall. Unfortunately, between the two of them, the wall was the severely outmatched one. A deep crack spread from the point of impact, likely dislodging some studs that were embedded within. Lee had simply turned and continued trying to regain his bearings.

"He does realize that it's just another piece of black paper, right?" Neji, the asshole, said. Naruto scowled at the boy, but he couldn't find it in himself to say anything. He had already spent too much time being annoyed at the boy. To spend any more time would be wasteful.

Unfortunately, before he could look away, Neji had locked eyes with him. Veins bulged around his eyes as the infamous Byakugan activated. The adolescent Hyuuga boy glared with every fiber of his being at Naruto. Had he not just fought back a sand demon, Naruto would have honestly been impressed at the latent bloodlust.

"And why, exactly, did you feel the need to prank the compound?" Neji asked. His teeth grinded painfully together as he forced that question out. Naruto could see that it was taking the boy all of his willpower just to speak in his presence. He could also see that Neji was expecting some kind of profound, if not flawed, response.

Naruto decided not to give him one.

"Iunno. Felt like it." He then punctuated the lackadaisical answer with a shrug of his shoulders. He stuck a finger up his nose for the effect, and then laughed at Lee as he nearly stumbled into a group of Genin preparing to enter the examination hall.

Naruto could practically see the rage overflowing in the poor Hyuuga. For a boy whose irises were nearly white, Naruto was sure that Neji was seeing red.

"I sincerely hope I see you during the exams," the boy said. He was standing perfectly still, and yet it was still taking Tenten's entire body to restrain him.

Naruto was unaffected. "With those eyes, I should better hope you do. Wouldn't want the next generation of Konoha Hyuuga to miss what was going on right in front of them." Naruto then smiled. It was a wicked smile. "Oh, wait. Oops. I guess that already happened."

It was an obvious poke at his prank on them. Neji, brilliant as he was, did not miss it. Veins bulged on his forehead as well as his eyes, and Tenten had to jump in front of him in order to keep him from lashing out.

"If I find you during the exams, you're dead!" Neji yelled as Tenten pushed the boy through the doors into the building. Lee, hearing his teammates go further away, turned in their general direction. He followed after them, and only bumped into the doorframe twice before successfully making it through.

Naruto waved at them as them left, already feeling as Sasuke and Sakura joined him from behind.

"Why do you keep antagonizing them?" Sakura asked.

"Because they're great fun."

XxX

A very large part of Sasuke wanted to point out that the room all of the Genin were standing in front of was not the one that they needed to find their way to. Even though it was labeled as the correct one, they were explicitly told to head to the third floor. As they were still on the second floor, he highly doubted that they were in the right place.

Another part of Sasuke, much smaller and yet much more powerful, remembered all of the pranks conducted on him by his shorter, blonder teammate. "Wait," that part of him beckoned. Its voice was eerily similar to his own, and yet much more evil. "Wouldn't it be fun to see what Naruto is always going on about?"

And it was with this thought in mind that Sasuke simply walked straight past the door. Sakura, her hands fiddling mindlessly with something in her hip pouch, watched as he grinned rather maniacally.

"I think Naruto is wearing off on you," she said.

"And you think you're immune to this?" Sasuke responded. He reached for her hip pouch, only for the pinkette to dart out of reach.

"Do you want to lose your hands?" she asked, voice a little panicked. "I haven't perfected these yet!"

Sasuke was well aware of his teammate's new fascination with explosions. He was also aware of her extreme lack of competency with them. Her creations often exploded, though not when, where, or how Sakura wanted them to. That fact didn't dissuade her, though—she just kept making more. Sasuke had taken to walking a few feet farther away from her.

"Looks like I'm not the only one," he said. Sakura scowled at him.

"Looks like it."

Ahead of them, leading them to the third floor, Naruto whistled as he looked around for his favorite green pranking target. He was sure that Lee had not let either of his teammates take off the piece of paper, but then how had the kid gotten so far ahead of them?

Naruto pondered that as he added Henge'd shadow clones to the crowd around the fake examination room. He didn't particularly care whether they figured out the way to the real room or not, but that was a decidedly good prank. Who was he to not add to the fun?

XxX

"Damn," Kakashi muttered. He put away his book as he all but glared at his students. "I was hoping that you three would wuss out or something. Now I have to actually pay attention to your exam."

"Feeling the love, sensei," Sakura said. "You weren't this venomous when you were training us a few weeks ago."

Kakashi's eye not-so-subtly roamed to Naruto's. The blond instinctually met his gaze, and the two stared at each other in silence. After a few seconds a smile spread on the boy's face, while the older man simply scowled.

"I regret ever meeting you."

"Aww, love you too, Kakashi-senpai."

And it was here that Sasuke and Sakura left the other two members of their cell. There was obviously some kind of history between the two. Choosing to ask about it, however, was a lesson in aggravation. The two were more stubborn than a horse, and undeniably harder to tame. Both Sakura and Sasuke chose instead to just let them be.

The inside of the examination room was exactly as they had expected it. Genin of various sizes, ages, and backgrounds milled around the place. The Konoha Genin were obvious, they looked the most relaxed as their headbands shone proudly wherever they stood. Kiba was bragging loudly to Hinata, much to the chagrin of the surrounding Genin of other villages. Shikamaru was, of course, sleeping, and his teammates were watching over him with either exasperation or a long-suffering fondness. Lee and his group were standing in a corner, though the paper had yet to be taken off his face, much to the chagrin of his teammates.

The other village Genin, however? They were much less jovial. There was a team from the Sand, though they looked deeply troubled. There was a girl with a fan and a boy with makeup on. On their own, they looked pretty intimidating. They carried themselves with the edge of trained killers, and ninja from sand were already known for their brutal, if not efficient, demeanors.

Their faces were blank, almost as if they had seen something they really never thought they would and had come out lesser for it. Their eyes kept roaming to their third teammate, a boy with striking red hair, and their face would turn whiter for it.

Sasuke couldn't quite figure out why. The redhead was just sleeping, his head down on the desk much like Shikamaru's.

"Hey, what's wrong with the Sand freaks?" Sasuke asked. He didn't bother to whisper. He wasn't afraid of anyone in the room.

Sakura looked up from her bag and over to where Sasuke was pointing. She saw what he was pointing at and took a minute to digest it. After that minute she quickly grew bored and returned to fiddling with her explosives.

"I dunno," she said with a shrug. "I heard that the culture was different in Suna. Maybe sleeping on the job is much more frowned upon there than it is here. Makes sense when you think about it. Life there is much rougher, you know?"

That was a plausible answer, Sasuke decided. He spared the Sand team one more glance before continued his assessment.

The team from Grass didn't look all too impressive. Grass wasn't one of the Five Great Villages, and as such Sasuke didn't have high expectations of them. A girl and two guys, classic team structure, but none of them held any real presence. He did notice, however, that the girl, an unimpressive ninja with middling facial features, did not stop staring at him the moment he entered the room. It was… chilling… but he was used to such stares.

"Hey, Sakura, you were a fangirl, right?"

"Five years and counting," Sakura answered immediately and without shame. "Why?"

Ignoring the creepiness of that prompt answer, for his own sanity, Sasuke continued. "See that girl on the Grass team? She one of yours?"

Once again Sakura looked up. This time, however, she did not immediately refocus. Her brow creased, and her hands, instead of rummaging around her explosive pack, tightened around something in it.

"No," she finally said, her voice as dead as the grave. "She isn't." Sakura then paused, her eyes darting left and right as she pondered something only in her mind. "Or… she is? I can't tell. My fangirl senses do not like what they're seeing, there. She isn't an ally. Not in the slightest."

Sasuke couldn't be sure if Sakura's "fangirl sense," was a real thing or not, and it wasn't something that he dared to ponder. Down that road lay madness, and he was not yet prepared to go through more of that. Instead, he nodded his head and conceded that the Grass team was dangerous.

"We're steering clear of them," he decided. Sakura didn't say anything, at least not verbally. She nodded her head and kept an eye on the still unblinking girl.

Moving on, Sasuke took a look over at the newly minted Sound Village's team. They were… creepy. And not in the Grass girl way. She was genuinely uncanny valley levels of creepy. The Sound ninjas were just unsettling.

"See something you like?" one of the freakshows asked. "Commit it to memory. It's the last thing you'll see before we beat you down."

Normally Sasuke was the type to rise to such bait. He was an Uchiha, damn it, and the last of the real ones. He had a certain pride to maintain, and he couldn't do that if no-name rift raff like this Sound trash was tarnishing his good name. He also remembered watching as Naruto rigged just about every single tile in the room.

He knew what lay just under their feet. He wasn't starting a fight here without a good reason.

"As you say," Sasuke said, and left it at that. He turned from the Sound ninjas and continued his assessment of the room.

Cloud, unsurprisingly, weren't present. After the stunt they pulled the last time they were in the Village, it wasn't hard to guess why they weren't allowed to show up to this one. International treaty aside, not even the Chunin Exams were major enough to convince the shaky Shinobi councils to let a political scandal walk right back into the hearts of the recently scandalized village.

The Stone did send a team, however, and Sasuke wasn't sure how to feel about it. They were three kids, all of which were younger than even Naruto, and they were all shaking in their boots as they looked around the room at the much taller and much stronger children that surrounded them. They were most likely sent as token representative, and were not expected to get very far. While it was true that the Chuunin Exams were meant to show off the military might of the different nations and simulate war, it was also true that the Earth Kingdom was supremely isolationist and rarely outsourced. Iwa, prideful as it was, was already of the belief that they were the strongest and had no danger of giving a bad showing at the exams. They would get the revenue of the Earth nation whether they won or not and did not care what the other villages thought of them.

The poor Iwa Genin were gonna sink like a stone in a lake. They were even expected to, really. They were sent to show their nation's willingness to participate in global affairs and that was it.

Sasuke said a prayer for them. If they made it into the final rounds it would be a miracle. One was probably going to die during the first round. Not through any means of the exams itself, mind you, but from sheer, undulating terror. These children were not their nation's best by far.

"Good morning," a voice called, and Sasuke had to notehow smooth it was. It belonged to a boy, unmistakably, but there was something about it that calmed Sasuke. "Is this your first exams?"

Sasuke turned and standing before him was a silver-haired boy just slightly taller than them. He wore small, wire-framed glasses that fit his face perfectly, somehow adding to the overall harmless aura he gave off.

"And what if it is?" Sasuke asked. His brow furrowed. He hadn't noticed the boy approach them. As a ninja, that only meant two things, both of which were concerning: either he wasn't paying attention—which was terrible as he was in the presence of known enemy hostiles—or his opponent was just that good.

The silver-haired boy didn't look particularly strong. If anything, he seemed as if he couldn't harm a fly. That didn't make his safe, however. If anything, that only made the Uchiha more wary.

"Oh, it is," silver-hair said. "I've been taking these exams for a very long time, and I don't recall ever seeing you in any of them."

"Oh?" Sakura asked. She had caught onto his wariness and decided to play it through. "And you haven't passed yet?"

Kabuto, rather than be thrown off by the question, simply smiled. It was a soft smile, barely stretching his face at all. When he finally responded, it was with a calm, measured tone. "No, I haven't. I was embarrassed about this the fourth time around, but by now I've gotten used to the scrutiny. I just don't have that natural ability that most other Genin possess."

"And you think that this time around would change anything?" Kiba asked. At some point during the conversation he had started to roam over. His hands firmly buried in his pockets, he spoke as he usually did: without worry. Atop his head Akamaru, his white furred companion, barked. "You think we're some kind of weaklings?"

Kiba's voice was loud. That was simply the nature of his clan. Unfortunately, that drew the attention of most other Genin, bringing quite a lot of eyes onto them.

The silver-haired boy looked around, then chuckled. He looked embarrassed by the attention, but not unnerved. Nothing seemed to unnerve him. He scratched his head, an obvious nervous tick, before responding.

"Oh, no. Not at all. There are quite a few extraordinary students in this exam. Clan heirs, geniuses and the like. I fear that my chances are lower than ever."

"Then why keep trying?" Sasuke asked. "This can't be good for you. You'll never win."

The silver boy smiled once more, this time letting his eyes close for the effort. "Not this time, Sasuke. This time I have my own trick up my sleeves."

He then reached into his sleeves, then pulled out a deck of cards. It looked normal, with the backs all a featureless dark blue, but it wasn't until he turned them over that caused Sasuke to pause.

"Is that… Sakura?"

The pink-haired teammate turned at that, not having been paying full attention to the conversation, only to see her face looking back at her from the card. Her face was set into a firm determination, cheeks stained with dirt and blood. Her arms were crossed before her, with each finger splayed out and holding a single small, black ball between them.

"That's… that was during my solo training time a week ago. I had just perfected my newest explosives and was testing them in the training ground. I… I hadn't told anyone about that. How did you…"

"I can't keep up with your inherent talent, that's true, but there is one skill that I managed to pick up over the years." The boy then flipped the card. It twirled between his fingers several times. When he finally stopped, he showed the others its face, only for there to be nothing on it. The card was blank. "Ninja Info Cards, a creation of my own design. These cards contain all of the info that I have on all of this year's participants, as well as the participants that that have participated in past Exams. With all this information at hand, there's a chance that I can win this time around."

"I don't believe you," Kiba said, though the way that a growl crept up from his throat portrayed his true emotions. "Show me one."

The silver boy's smile was still gentle, though his smile did falter for a second.

"My name is Kabuto, by the way. In case any of you were interested."

"We're not," a blonde girl said. Sasuke noted that she was the girl that was glancing over at the sleeping redhead. Her hair was pulled into two spiky buns atop her head, and she carried a large, metal weapon of some sort on her back. Beside her was another Sand ninja, though Sasuke couldn't understand the need for the copious make-up. Must be a Sand thing. "Show us those damn cards."

The newly dubbed Kabuto finally let his smile drop, though his mood didn't seem to dampen much. She shuffled the deck, then pulled out the card on top.

"Ah, here is an interesting one. Gaara, of the Sand. A remarkable Chunin prospect with a mission record of 3 A-rank missions, 13 B-rank, and 32 C-rank. His records show him as having never sustained a single injury during any of them. Truly, a fearsome opponent."

The Genin that were listening in all winced, then turned their heads towards the sleeping redhead. His body slowly heaved as he breathed deeply, showing no signs of wariness whatsoever to being surrounded by potential enemy combatants.

"Your cards must be wrong," Sasuke finally said. "How does a Genin even get assigned A-rank missions? I thought those were limited to Jonin and above?"

"They are," Kabuto said. He adjusted his glasses, then took a look at Gaara's teammates. "My cards only know what I was able to gather through rumor and hearsay, however, so I wouldn't be able to answer that. Perhaps his siblings could?"

Now that all of the eyes were on them, Sasuke expected the spiky-haired blond girl and makeup boy to be nervous. They looked completely unnerved.

"He has his reasons," the girl answered, obviously the leader of the team. "Hey, Leaf brat, do you have any other cards in there? You gave information on one of ours. I want information on one of yours."

Kabuto looked distinctly uncomfortable about that, but he didn't have a means to back out now. "I… suppose that would be fair. Who would you want information on? Perhaps Sasuke here, the last Uchiha? Or perhaps Neji Hyuuga?"

The blond shook her head, then looked around. Her eyes scanned the room, taking careful note of everyone in it, before shaking her head. She had found those assembled to be wanting.

"Naruto Uzumaki," she finally said, and that caused both Sasuke and Sakura to tense. Why did this foreign ninja know of their teammate? "I want information on him. He's blond, kind of short, likes to wear orange?"

"I know of him," Kabuto responded. He shuffled through his deck, finding the relevant card almost immediately. It glowed blue with the tinge of the man's chakra, before an image of Konoha's most famous trickster appeared on the surface. Gone was his jacket—the bulky, orange monstrosity instead tied around his waist—showing off the boy's black t-shirt. There were various instruments in his hands, all of which were going to be used for nefarious purposes. "I shouldn't be surprised. He's one of the more dangerous examinees this year."

To her credit, the blond sand ninja was completely unsurprised by this. That sentiment was not shared by anyone else.

"Naruto Uzumaki," Kabuto began, completely uncaring of Sasuke or Sakura's shock. "C-ranked ninja of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Moniker is The Prankster King of Konoha and he is wanted in just about every Hidden Village in the Elemental Nations." The man then stopped. He stroked his chin as he carefully read the words on his card. "Curiously enough, he is wanted exclusively alive. His techniques are—"

"Irrelevant," a familiar voice said. The card was plucked from Kabuto's hand and torn in a single, smooth movement. The people assembled jumped as a new contender entered the room.

No one was surprised to see the smiling face of the man in question. Naruto Uzumaki was standing over the shoulder of his fellow Leaf Genin.

"I never expected my conversation with Kakashi to be the less interesting of the conversations happening. Do I need to ask why everyone is here reading a biography on my life?"

"Hardly a biography," his fellow blond replied. The Sand kunoichi placed a hand on her hip as she stared down the younger boy. "We were just getting to the good part."

"And who are you?" Naruto asked. He continued watching the girl until realization dawned on him. "Oh, right. You're Temari, or something. Gaara's sister. He told me about you."

The blond Sand ninja's eyes widened before darting back to the sleeping redhead. Sand swiveled around him in long, arcing ropes, but he still seemed to be asleep.

"… did he?" Temari asked. Her voice shook. "That's… nice."

"Is it?" Naruto asked. A single golden eyebrow arced. "Because I remember him saying an awful lot about wanting to kill you." He shrugged his shoulders. "Hmm. Must be a Sand thing."

Temari's resultant shock was something that Naruto didn't particularly get to see. The class went silent as a large, intimidating man walked into the room.

"Alright, maggots," Ibiki shouted. He was covered from head to toe in black and leather, something that was probably uncomfortable in the humid Konoha air. The man himself didn't seem to mind any. "It's time for your first exam!"

XxX

Ibiki was the head of the Torture and Interrogation department of his village. As such, it was his job to keep an ear to the ground and know most of everything that was happening, both illegal or otherwise. It wasn't something that was expressly in his job description, but it was something that was nice to do. You couldn't interrogate someone if you didn't know what made them tick, after all. That was torture 101.

This was all to say that Ibiki was a well learned person. He knew most of everyone of note in the Hidden Leaf village, as well as most everyone of note outside of it. As far as he was concerned, a group of children and Genin weren't going to be on his list of people.

No Genin, of course, except this one. He was sitting in the front row of the classroom and dear Sage he wasn't even trying to pretend that he wasn't cheating.

"That's one point," Ibiki said, his voice monotone as he stared at the blond-haired boy that was sitting directly in front of him. "One more and you're out."

Naruto smirked, then put the test paper of the student that he planted back. That paper, of course, had most of the right answers on it. How the blond demon figured that out was beyond Ibiki.

"You really gave me too much leeway, Uncle," Naruto replied. "Two chances? When have I ever wasted even one? Did you really think that this test was going to be hard for me?"

The brat then filled out his paper, correctly copying the entirety of the page he had just swindled from memory.

Ibiki allowed him to hold it for less than a second.

"I really hate you," Ibiki managed to growl out. "Had I not known what lied under these floorboards I would beat you into the ground."

The rest of the class looked to the ground, suddenly unsure of where they were sitting.

Naruto just laughed.

XxX

"Alright, maggots, it's time for your te—"

Anko was cut off from her flamboyant entrance by the explosion. The rest of the class was also cut off from sitting by the explosion.

If one paid attention, they would be able to see how the Team 7 and their instructor evacuated the room the instant that Anko entered. They, ironically, all leapt through the broken window at the same time Anko entered.

XxX

"At some point in my life, I wondered why you tended to leave rooms through a window," Sakura said. She had stabbed a kunai into the side of a building with peeling yellow paint. She could have stuck to it using chakra, but she hadn't enough time to prepare for the emergency exit from the room. Thus, she did what came naturally and just hung onto her impromptu handhold. "But, as you put us into more and more inexplicably dangerous situations, I can understand the mentality."

Sasuke, as expected of his cool boy persona, was barely sitting on a windowsill. His hair was ruffled and there was a bit of smoke coming from the bottom of his pants, but he was otherwise okay. Still, that was his reward for being the last one out of the room.

"Whole wall of windows versus the single door. There's only one reasonable answer, honestly."

Ibiki nodded sagely from his place near them. Unlike the rest of them, he actually had the foresight to prepare some chakra and was thus standing on the side of the building. "Honestly, I would have used a jutsu to escape, but there was a chance that the blond devil had thought of that. I have found that the smartest option is to simply follow the same path as the prankster and hope that he hadn't been feeling vindictive."

Those assembled then turned to that trickster. He snickered before seemingly staring at the still smoking examination room. The four of them stared at the flaming wreckage for a few minutes before one of them finally spoke.

"You realize that Anko was in there, right?"

Naruto nodded. His smile still stretched his face.

"She's going to be angry," Ibiki supplied. Naruto snorted.

"She's always angry. That's nothing new."

Ibiki nodded. "Yes, but now she's going to be angry at you. Are you okay with that?"

Naruto shrugged. "It's her fault for not expecting that. She knew I'd be in this exam."

The silence returned, with nothing but the sound of the still crackling purple fire.

"She didn't know that you were going to be in this exam," Ibiki said while staring in a sort of astounded wonder.

"… I'm sorry, what?"

"She didn't know that you were going to be in this exam," Ibiki repeated. He rubbed at his comically proportioned jaw. "We talked about it. She figured that since you were gone looking for Tsunade with her for so long, that there was no way that you would be able to attend this year's exams. You know, with the mission requirements."

Silence prevailed once again. There was, at some point, screamed of indignant rage coming from the now ruined classroom. Those screams had, since, evacuated the premises.

"Well," Naruto started. There's always the chance that she doesn't know that it was me that booby trapped the entire room."

Silence reigned. It was broken much quicker this time.

"NARUTO!" came a banshee-like scream.

"And… I have to go," Naruto said. He sped off from his place atop the roof as fast as he could go.

The others watched as he went, their faces blank as a flaming bullet of spiky hair and indecent clothing chased after him.