(Finn lets Bandit Princess go as she screams while she falls down the cliff to her death. Cinnamon Bun walks to the crowd.)
Princess Bubblegum: Attention, people of Ooo, today began in heartbreaking, but let it end in the truth. I give you King Finn of the Fire Kingdom.
Toronto: Hail to the king!
All: (Chanting) Hail to the king!
Finn: So, what do I do now?
Marceline: Be their king, Finn. (Gives Finn the sword of fire)
Finn: Ooh. This would better be great. (He chants in Japanese, raises his sword up and shouts)
(They all cheer.)
Scout: Damn, that feels good.
Finn: You're right, Scout. You can stay with us.
Soldier: Thanks, Finn.
Finn: You're welcome, Soldier. Let's go home, Tiffany.
(Finn and his family walk back home until Hunson appears from the Nightosphere)
Hunson: Hell, yeah! Courage is my power! (Finn laughs)
Marion: Oh, yeah.
Finn: I guess that really helps out when you show up. (Wheezes laugh)
Hunson: I want some more.
Simon: I bet you do, grandfather.
The Vampire King: Hey, Marceline.
(Marceline and Simon turn around to see The Vampire King, The Fool, The Moon, The Empress and The Hierophant.)
Marceline: Oh. Hi.
The Vampire King: Look, um, I'm sorry we've been mean to you.
Simon: It's all right. Hello, I'm Simon Abadeer.
The Vampire King: Hey, Simon. It's good to see you. And you're all right. Family's not just an F-word.
Simon: Look, say the F-word. Just once. Let's do it together. Come on, it's no big deal. One, two, three. Here we go. F... F... F...
The Vampire King: Family.
Simon: Wow! Enjoy hell, Lion King. (Laughs)
The Vampire King: (Sighs) Well, I guess we should say goodbye. Take good care of your son.
Marceline: We will. Goodbye.
The Vampire King: Goodbye.
SImon: So long, Vampire King.
(The vampires disappear and the song plays "Never Gonna Be Alone" by Jeremy Shada in the background.)
Minerva: Oh, I'm so proud of you, Finn.
Finn: (Chuckles) Thanks, Mom.
Flame Princess: See? That's how you saved us.
Finn: Really?
Flame Princess: Yes. I'm sure we had sex together. And I'm sure you'd better have a haircut. I got one last present for you, Finn. (Shows Finn a box of Ding Dongs from Hostess) I bought a box of Ding Dongs just for you, honey.
Finn: Wow. (Uses a box of Ding Dongs) Thanks, Phoebe. I got a picture of you when we were together.
Flame Princess: I got a picture of you when we were together, too.
(They take their one couple picture.)
Finn: I love you, Phoebe.
Flame Princess: (Chuckles) I love you, too. Happy birthday, honey.
(They hug and kiss. Marceline marries Marshall Lee. Prince Gumball marries Princess Bubblegum. Fern marries Huntress Wizard. Frieda marries Scout. Susan marries Heavy. Simon marries Patience St. Pim. Flame Prince marries Fionna. Medic marries Dr. Gross. Shermy and Beth hug. Tiffany and Toronto hug. Cinnamon Bun sees Miss Cinnamon Bun as they hug each other and adopt Bun Bun together. The scene fades to Finn who wears his wedding dress as Flame Princess walks to Finn and marries him then scene cuts to Martin who sniffles and hugs Minerva while they smile as guests applaud. The song ends as the scene changes to Finn who sits on the chair at the Fire Kingdom while he wears his new outfit and text says "The Fire Kingdom. Several months later...". Flame Princess opens the door while she holds her newborn son and daughter. Finn walks to them and he wiggles his finger at their newborn son and daughter. They both giggle.)
Flame Princess: What should we name our son?
Finn: How about Flint?
Flame Princess: Oh. Flint. I like that name.
Finn: And we're gonna name our daughter Frieda.
Flame Princess: That sounds great. Hey, thanks for telling me the truth.
Finn: It's okay. That power's completely awesome, you know.
Flame Princess: It sure is. Hey, we should hang out with your family once a week.
Fire Finn: Look at her. She has no idea what she's talking about.
Finn: Well, I guess we named them after Flint and Frieda.
Flame Princess: Of course we did.
Fire Finn: I think that sounds adorable, Finn.
Finn: Oh. (Chuckles nervously) Look at the time. I'm gonna get something from the Candy Kingdom. Watch the babies.
Flame Princess: I will, Finn. Buy two new pacifiers for our babies before dinner.
(Finn walks to the Candy Kingdom and sees Steve Buscemi)
Steve Buscemi: Hey. Don't give up on her. Either of you.
Finn: We won't.
Fire Finn: Who's that guy?
Finn: Okay.
Fire Finn: Wait, this cat looks delicious.
(The scene cuts to Finn at the Candy Kingdom while he walks down to the store.)
Finn: I just have absolutely no problem with you sticking around but if you do, we're gonna have to have some ground rules, all right? You can't just go around eating anybody that you want to.
Fire Finn: I can't?
Finn: No, you can't. All right, we need to... We need to reiterate this. There are good people in this world, a lot of them. And then there are bad people. You have to tell the difference. The deal is, you will only ever be allowed to touch, harm, hurt, possibly, very possibly, eat very, very bad people, but never, ever, ever good people. All right?
Fire Finn: Fine.
Finn: Good.
Fire Finn: But how does that tell the difference?
Finn: Well, it's super simple. I mean, you just have to... You can intuit it, you can sense it. Sometimes you can even feel it.
Fire Finn: Whatever you say. But can you buy two new pacifiers for your babies? Otherwise, your babies, they're about to cry without you while you shop.
Finn: Yes, I will. I think I know a place down here.
(The scene cuts to the store as Finn opens the door while Aunt Lolly works as a cashier.)
Finn: Hey, Aunt Lolly.
Aunt Lolly: Hey, Finn, how are you doing?
Finn: I think I'm really great, actually, you know.
Aunt Lolly: That's great.
Finn: Okay, what would you like to eat delights before I buy pacifiers?
Fire Finn: Sno Balls and Ding Dongs.
Finn: Okay. No problem, bro.
(Finn buys two new pacifiers, Sno Balls and Ding Dongs. An abusive shopper enters the store and walks to Lolly.)
Abusive Shopper: The payment's due, Lolly.
Aunt Lolly: Please, I can't just do that.
Abusive Shopper: (He points his gun at her) Now.
Fire Finn: Bad guy, right?
Finn: Yep.
(Fire grabs an abusive shopper in the hand as he drops the gun. Fire Finn walks to an abusive shopper.)
Fire Finn: You come in here again. In fact, if you go anywhere in this island, preying on innocent people, and we will find you, and eat both of your arms, and then both of your legs. And then we will eat your face right off your head. Do you feel me?
Abusive Shopper: Please.
Fire Finn: Yes. So, you will be this armless, legless, faceless thing, won't you, rolling down the street, like an egg roll in the wind? Do you understand?
Abusive Shopper: Who the hell are you?
Fire Finn: (Half of his face rolls back) We are Finn. (Half of his face rolls forward) On second thought...
Abusive Shopper: Please.
(Fire Finn eats an abusive shopper and Finn transforms into himself.)
Aunt Lolly: Finn? What was that?
Finn: Oh. (Scoffs) I have a parasite.
Aunt Lolly: Oh. I saw that. (Uses the codebar scanner to scan two pacifiers, Sno Balls and Ding Dongs) That's what happens, Finn.
Finn: Thanks. I'm just gonna leave you my change. (Leaves Aunt Lolly his change) Night, Aunt Lolly.
Aunt Lolly: Night, Finn.
(Finn carries the bag and walks back home)
Fire Finn: Parasite?
Finn: Yeah, it's a term of endearment, that's all.
Fire Finn: Apologize!
Finn: No.
Fire Finn: Apologize!
Finn: All right, fine. I'm sorry. You know, you're actually good now.
Fire Finn: Of course, I'm good. By the way, you should apologize to Dr. Gross.
Finn: Oh. Okay. (Calls Dr. Gross) Hey, Dr. Gross.
Dr. Gross: (On phone) Oh, hey, Finn. Congratulations, you have a beautiful baby boy and a healthy baby girl.
Finn: Thanks. Hey, I'm sorry that I left you and Tiffany.
Dr. Gross: It's okay, Finn. My pets are still alive so Medic and I are finally married.
Finn: Oh, that's good. I guess they survived.
Dr. Gross: Yep. They sure did.
Finn: Thanks anyway. Let's live in peace.
Michael Bay: See? You don't need to be an anti-hero to get the girl. But you have to be a good hero when you find a girl. It's complicated when you got it better, other than need to Google, "What the hell is Adventure Time?" It's because that they all live in peace and harmony. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the movie, deposit the trash, and thanks for watching.
(The scene fades to black and cuts to Flame King who plays Blackjack with his new friends at the Fire Kingdom.)
Flame King: New shooter coming up, new shooter. Does the new shooter feel lucky? Well, does she?
(Patience St. Pim picks up two dices and the song plays "Since U Been Gone" by A Day to Remember.)
Patience St. Pim: Yes. Yes, she does. (Drinks a tropical punch while the bell dings)
Flame King: Excellent.
(The credits start and show clips from the show and the movie. After the credits, the scene shows Finn who tries to stop Martin as Jake tries to grab him in Citadel.)
Finn: (Shouts in pain) Martin, I won't let you escape!
Martin: You know what, I'm worth it. I'll save you, son!
(Martin rescues Finn as they fall into the river and swims out.)
Finn: I'll be right back, Jake. We're definitely changing the damn world! (Travels back in time with Martin) Whoo!
(The scene cuts to Finn, Martin, Flame Princess, Cinnamon Bun and Flame People.)
Cinnamon Bun: Because...
Finn: Cinnamon Bun! Walk away! I love Flame Princess!
Cinnamon Bun: But I'm in love with her.
Finn: Nope, you're not. Your speech is just a marketing tool designed by Warner Bros. executives to keep Michael Bay employed. It's complicated.
Cinnamon Bun: All right, well, it's actually complicated. And I'm gonna go back to Candy Kingdom.
Finn: Go home, Cinnamon Bun. Go home.
Cinnamon Bun: Okay. You can have Flame Princess back.
(The scene cuts to James McCord who walks to a murderer and he calls Lincoln and Jordan)
James McCord: (Echoes) Run!
(A murderer detaches his briefcase into a gun as he attempts to shoot James McCord, but Finn shoots a murderer in the head as he collapses then crowd gasps.)
Finn: Hey! It's me! Don't worry. Just cleaning up the timelines. Look, eventually, you're gonna get murdered, and it's gonna make a lot of people really sad.
James McCord: Huh?
Finn: But one day, you'll have to go to Los Angeles with Lincoln Six Echo and Jordan Two Delta. And when he does, say yes.
James McCord: Oh. Okay.
Finn: (Whispers) Love you.
(The scene cuts to M. Night Shyamalan who looks at the script for The Last Airbender.)
M. Night Shyamalan: (Sighs) Welcome to the big leagues, kid.
(Finn shoots M. Night Shyamalan with a tranquilizer gun. He becomes tranquilized and falls to the ground. Finn puts his tranquilizer gun in his backpack.)
Finn: You're welcome, America.
(The scene ends and the credits roll. "Since U Been Gone" ends and the song plays "Breaking the Habit" by Nine Inch Nails featuring Olivia Olson. After the song, the credits end. After the credits, Finn and his family have a catering party.)
Finn: And, I think our romance is like a good way.
Flame Princess: Yes, honey. It sure is a good way, now.
Jordan the Bunny Girl: Oh, that's nice. I think everybody knows because there's more to us than meets the eye.
Finn: I think so, too, Jordan. (To the audience) What are you people still doing here? You just saw the movie, okay? We're having a catering party. All right, let's say goodbye. Goodbye.
Finn's family: Goodbye.
(They wave goodbye as the scene fades to black. The end.)