None Can Die, Patricide, Revelations Theme, Decision of the Loved.

The moral of this chapter is: plot takes precedence over shipping and BABY WHY.

Big Brothers Don't Cry

Him and His Legacy

It was a long, quiet drive back along the highway from Rieti. It was still her blue car so Alice was still the one driving, but neither of them said anything.

He didn't understand his reaction, he didn't know why a kiss like that had felt the way it had: why had he been comforted like that? Was it because of who she was? His ex, his first, the only woman he'd ever come close enough to that he could smell her and feel her heart beat close to his? Maybe that was why he'd reacted the way he had, maybe that was why he hadn't pushed back or fought her off.

Or maybe he was just the kind of person he didn't want to admit to being. Maybe he'd made the same transgression twice now, and he didn't know how he was supposed to cope with it.

Twice he heard Alice take a deep breath next to him, but twice she held the words in and only let the air out silently. Finally, when Feliciano told himself he recognized the edge of the Valenti property coming into view, he made himself speak instead.

"Is Lovino having an affair?" Feliciano had his elbow on the door next to him, sticking out over the edge as the warm summer air washed and buffeted over his face. His curled fingers were holding his head up as the wind brushed his hair back, his sunglasses still nested on top of his head as the moon rose behind them. He didn't straighten up after asking the question, just stayed slumped down in his seat with the belt cutting against his throat.

He felt the tension, because the longer this trip went on the more he kept having to endure the awkward sensation. He wasn't sure if she was licking her lips or looking around in the dark for some kind of distraction, he just felt for how readily she seemed able to answer him.

"Yes." He wanted to say he was surprised, but he just wasn't. Hearing her voice on the recording had made it click for him regardless of what had come after.

"And he left yesterday to go see her?" Someone not their mother or either Valenti sister, someone close to the family but not quite as welcome as she might have been, someone Lovino had been infatuated with for years. A Spanish woman with a smile as brilliant as her camera's flash, with a wisdom that was as intriguing as it felt dangerous.

But was that any excuse? Maybe Lovino'd gone off because he'd realized with Feliciano here he couldn't keep using him as an excuse when he wanted to go off to his mistress. There was no easy way around that question, no way to get past the implication that Feliciano was worth less than the stain of indiscreet sex on illicit sheets. Chiara and Lovino hadn't even been married an entire year yet, but there was no nursery on the second floor or whisper of an early pregnancy to give a reason why. Why would his brother marry one woman while still staying with another? How could he?

"Most likely, yes." God save Carlino then: both of his older brothers were turning out just like him…

The thought almost made Feliciano ask her to pull over. They were just crossing over the old stone bridge and he wanted to walk the rest of the way if he could, but instead he held it in and let Alice continue the drive. He asked questions instead.

"Is it being handled, or is it being ignored?"

"That's not fair."

"Life isn't fair."

The power of a cliché line was proven by the heavy silence that swallowed his words and forbade her from answering. Unbidden, Feliciano felt warm fingers curling in his shirt and the memory of a slender arm tugging his head down. The lavender had brushed under his nose and rose petals caressed his lips as the world beyond a beam of light closed down around him. How was it even possible?

He wanted to get out and walk through the hot summer night; instead he sat there in the warm breeze like a good guest and remained still.

A good guest.

The conflict was going to make him sick.

Nothing else was said for that long, intense ride. He couldn't work up the nerve to demand she answer him instead of deflecting like that, and whatever was going on in her mind was kept secret from him. The silence persisted until the car rumbled and hummed its way up under the villa gate, headlights flashing on the quiet face of the house and landing briefly on the red body of Lovino's truck. So he was finally home.

"About time," Feliciano grunted, undoing the clasp at his hip and climbing out of the car before Alice could call him back. He wasn't mad about what she'd said, there were too many other things to care about: like his brother running off like that and the kinds of men that they were turning into. He had no legs to stand on when it came to commitment and fidelity, but at least he still had his pride.

The house was dark, a curious thing when it was barely past nine-thirty at night. For some reason Feliciano waited outside the car until the engine shut off and the driver's side door opened up to let Alice out, even tolerating her quick look in the back of the car to grab the bags from their picnic and shopping. He took them from her as soon as she passed him, remembering that most of the weight was his anyways.

"If you want to talk, we can sit upstairs?" He couldn't make up his mind about that, but why would they go to her room for it? They weren't fifteen and Feliciano almost said as much, turning with his mouth open before he just let the air out in a rough breath. He didn't care, he needed time alone more than he needed to keep himself confined next to her.

"I need to pack most of this." A poor deflection, but he wasn't going to feel bad about it. It would give him a few minutes alone, and then he'd make up his mind about talking anymore tonight or not. He wasn't hungry and he wasn't exhausted enough to fall into bed and sleep, but being alone, all night, was what he wanted right now. If the house was dark that meant Lovino and his wife were sleeping: tomorrow morning would be a battle.

"Are you sure?" Why was she being so persistent? Feliciano looked at her again as they reached the front door, the electric light under the eaves shining down on her face and washing out the colour. He imagined it was because of tonight, but then he really looked at her and realized she kept looking awkwardly up at the house. When she spoke again he just- "Maybe going to sleep is better."

She pursued and then gave up, he didn't understand it. He would have asked but he didn't want to, not right now. Feliciano's hand grasped the doorknob and shook it firmly, relieved that they hadn't been locked out before pushing it open and entering first. Rude yes, but it didn't matter.

Not all the lights in the house were off: there was a glow across the matted tiles of the foyer and filtering through the gloom of the living room, an ambiance Feliciano recognized. The kitchen light was on and Alice was shutting the front door behind her when they heard it:

"Don't you dare touch me!" A low voice, hissing through the air like the slap Feliciano almost thought he heard.

"I shouldn't bother speaking to you either!" And another one he knew even better than the first, because Lovino was barely keeping his voice down from the kitchen.

"What a change that would be!"

It was Chiara who that lashed out first, but the way Lovino's struck suddenly made Feliciano go ice-cold. He didn't have a reason, he didn't know why right away, he just forgot about the summer heat and the hanging air. There was something in Lovino's voice that he'd never heard before, and it stunned him when he felt something grab his arm when he tried going forward.

"Leave them-"Alice hissed.

"Are you out of your mind?" Leave them when they sounded like that?

She meant it and she wouldn't let go of him, her mouth pulled wide and heels digging into the floor when he tried shaking her off. He didn't hear what Lovino shouted from across the house this time, but Chiara's voice screamed up to meet it and it made his ears ring listening to them: they were getting louder!

"Let go-!" He pulled hard this time, jerking his arm free and moving away through the dark before she could catch him again.

"Going off for your whore and leaving that tramp in my house!" God they were screaming-!

"Watch your mouth!"

"Tramp! Tramp! Just like you!" He reached the doorway, "Like father like son you son of a-!"

Lovino hit her.

Closed fist, wrist straight. Feliciano watched his brother take one step forward and swing directly at his wife's face. Chiara was not a large person, but that meant nothing. It just made her feet slip off the tiles and meant her arm wasn't strong enough to catch her when her body fell back and slammed into the counter, knocking something -a wine bottle? a plate? he wasn't looking- to the floor where it shattered.

Nothing stopped. The world didn't hold its breath, time didn't slow down. It was his brain that shut down, every thought coming to a complete stand-still. The broken glass still ringing on the floor, the far-away gasp of the woman laying in the mess pulling in for a scream: all of that came at him in regular time, it was the other part that didn't.

The part where Feliciano moved faster than he should have and felt broken glass puncture the sole of his shoe, his foot almost slipping out under him in the red slick as he grabbed his brother's shirt with both hands.

Twist, tear, shove. He couldn't see Lovino's face and he never wanted to again, he just slammed the other man's back against the edge of the counter and almost doubled him back over the sink. That was to shock him, and the blow Feliciano's fist powered over his eye was supposed to blind and stop him.

Lovino hit the floor and Feliciano finally realized what the hell was going on. His hearing came back and the sound of Chiara gasping on the edge of hysterics just kept his blood burning, shoulders wound up like a spring and heart slamming in his throat. His brother was already trying to pick himself up and Feliciano nearly kicked him back down. Dragging his foot back instead, he swept shards of glass over the stained tile until the green pieces were spinning at Lovino's fingertips.

Alice was speaking to her sister, Feliciano stood there waiting until his brother looked up with stunned, almost horrified green eyes. If he thought he was allowed to settle with just the memories of glass then he was wrong, because when Lovino dared shake his head as if to say he didn't know what had just happened, Feliciano advanced with fists clenched and teeth bare. He watched the realization hit Lovino and the way his brother flipped onto his back so he could scramble away, and the moment he gasped and ripped his hand off the floor where the glass dug in and cut him, Feliciano had him:

"Get out!" He didn't bother starting out quiet and firm, he wanted to yell and by god-

"I'm-"

"Get out!" He was going to yell, and he was going to scream, and when Lovino didn't have the decency to stand the hell up and get out like he'd said Feliciano stormed over him and swore he would land a kick this time. He wasn't allowed to think about how he'd never seen his older brother look so scared, and he hated himself for relenting at the very last moment so Lovino could frantically reach his feet and then yank open the kitchen door.

His brother escaped out into the night and Feliciano finally felt the pain that had been trying to rear up and overwhelm him since he'd come inside. The pain, closely followed by the fear.

The fear of angry shouting and booming voices, the second-hand terror of a woman screaming and the pain of heavy hands and salted breaths. Hand that had never touched him, maybe, but they'd still left bruises sore and deep across memories he'd never talk about. Moments they'd never talk about.

Moments they'd just relived on Chiara's kitchen floor with the sisters behind him and Lovino's wife finding her voice and breath again. Feliciano didn't know why he found himself with hot tears watering down his vision and warping the rose-coloured walls and stone countertops, but they didn't fall. He felt like he should either stand tall or collapse completely, but even when Chiara's voice broke through the ringing in his ears, he stayed trapped in the middle.

"I can't believe- he never- he..."

"Chichi, look at me. It's okay…" The sisters were speaking over each other in quiet voices, Feliciano pulling his hands up over his face for a moment and rubbing hard over his eyes and cheeks just trying to get the feeling in his skin back. He was on fire and he wanted it to go away, he was angry and he couldn't stand it: couldn't handle feeling this way. He started walking as soon as he heard their mother's footsteps and heard her sudden voice ask what on earth had happened.

"Mama, it was Lovino he-"

"Where are you going!?"

Feliciano stumbled when Chiara's voice hit him, reaching for the door Lovino had left ajar before turning around and looking at the family behind him. The red smeared across the floor, he could see it now, was wine: there was just one brilliant stain of it closer to him from where Lovino had planted his hand on the glass shards glittering under the kitchen lights. Chiara was kneeling in the mess still, khaki shorts and a white blouse stained down the side by the wine with Alice crouched next to her, hands on her shoulders trying to bring the older sister in for a hug, but Chiara was having none of it.

Feliciano had never seen his sister-in-law like this, not fighting for words around savage tears and trembling like she was still afraid. The side of her face was an angry red colour, the stain darkening already into a deep and painful bruise. She had her teeth clenched and was staring straight at him, both hands planted on the kitchen floor and about the only things keeping her up besides Alice's hold.

He hadn't known what his answer was when she asked, but now he did.

"To get rid of him. Alice call-"

"NO!" He didn't get to finish, it was the shrill scream in Chiara's voice that stopped him. "No, you can't do that to him! I know what he's like- I married him! He's not like that, Feliciano, please don't!"

"Chichi calm down!"

"There's glass everywhere child, stop!"

It both took her sister and her mother to stop Chiara from getting up and running to him, leaving Feliciano with sudden doubts that he knew he couldn't afford right now. When their mother, wrapped in a purple housecoat and slippers with her grey hair down and flat around her puckered face, stood up and looked at him, it was like she was agreeing with what he'd already been planning.

"Call who?" Was all she asked, looking at him straight with her dark eyes for the first time since he'd arrived in her house.

"Our uncle Benedict, tell him to come to the old stone church on the hill: and quickly!" Quickly, because Feliciano had to run from the screams that followed him out the door.

"Please stop! Don't do this! He's my husband, your brother, no! Feliciano no!"

Closing the door didn't stop the screaming, but it blocked Chiara's words and let the tightness building around his chest ease up a little bit. His ears were still ringing but the hot air that washed over his face and arms deafened the sound. It was eerily quiet out here in the garden, the old stone walls of the villa capturing the noises and hoarding them inside like a hen over dead eggs.

It was the same garden Feliciano could see from the sun room where he'd been sleeping, tall fingers of fox glove and beds of daisies, rows of tomato vines, zucchini and eggplant, and pots of fresh herbs placed to soak up the absent light. The land rolled a little bit, a large stone oven planted on a small patch of tiles before the ground became grass and the lip of the hill dove down into the grape vines of the vineyard.

Lovino was a dark sore growing out the side of the hill when Feliciano found him, his brother sitting on the ground with knees up and head bowed, hands tangled in his hair until he must have heard him coming. He jumped up so fast Feliciano's fists clenched, ready to fight again, but the moon was rising and that with the glow of the house's back lights showed just enough of his brother's face that he kept his hands down.

"Is she alright?" Because Lovino looked tormented, standing there with his hands caught between gesturing or hanging lost at his sides. His eyes were searching Feliciano's face, lips parted and pleading with him- but that didn't mean he was going to answer that question. Instead he just kept advancing and watched Lovino take an awkward step back down the slope behind him. "I have to go and see her, I-"

When Lovino tried going forward Feliciano stepped wide to cut him off, the alien pull of a scowl hurting his face as he clenched his teeth again like he had in the house. He could feel the anger licking at him again, bits of fire nipping his back and looking for a way into his gut to form words and raise fists. He hated being angry, he hated remembering how capable he was of feeling this way and acting on it, but right now he was even more disgusted by his brother trying to play this off as- as what? A misunderstanding?

"Walk."

"Feliciano-"

"I said walk!" Liar, adulterer, abuser, how far was Lovino going to dig himself down in one night? "You have no right to talk to her; you're going with me to the church instead."

"She's my wife!" Lovino tried again and this time Feliciano used both hands and his shoulder, slamming Lovino hard enough that it picked his feet up and sent him sliding down the hill on his back.

"Your housekeeper? Your punching bag?" He shouted, following and listening to the pops and cracks of dry grape-stems under his shoes. The springy grass left them with the mulch of the vineyard and as soon as Lovino picked himself up again, Feliciano was there to shove him back one more time and turn him away from the house. "She's not your god-damned wife from what I've seen, you-"

"Like a faggot like you could understand!" He'd thought Lovino would walk but he just swung around with a fist and Feliciano felt the blast of white heat under his eye as the blow caught him square. His body bent itself over to protect against another hit, and when Lovino didn't attack him again Feliciano let out an angry yell and charged forward. His shoulder and head hit warm weight, the hard jostle of them hitting the thick, woody trunk of one of the vines making the air hiss with grape-leaves and the loud scuffle of Lovino swearing at him. Feliciano fought to get his knees on the ground so he could rise and throw another punch, Lovino's knee nearly taking him in the side before he got there.

Lovino caught him again in the mouth but Feliciano found his feet first, kicking dirt at his eyes and taking a fist-full of hair. Somehow his feet were kicked out from under him, but when Lovino tried jumping up to pin him down they both wound up flipped over. Feliciano drove one knee down into the middle of his brother's spine until he cried out, one hand in his hair again and the other pinning the back of his elbow. They stayed like that.

"Let go!"

"Not until you stop this!"

"It has nothing to do with you-"

"I'm still part of this family whether you like it or not!" It didn't matter how many lies Lovino told about him or the way he was used to cover his brother's betrayals, he was still in this family despite anything the rest of them wanted to say. He wasn't going to vanish like smoke because his grandfather couldn't look at him or his uncle would turn him away when they climbed that hill, and just because he couldn't talk to his younger brother didn't mean Feliciano was going to stop trying. Everything was wrong with every relationship he was still struggling to hold on to, but he'd keep holding them, he refused to let go now.

"You can't be like him- I won't let you!"

It took a long time in his head, and as much as two or three minutes before the tension started to relent under him. Lovino stopped jerking back so hard, and then he just stopped fighting all together. His spine stopped trying to wiggle out from under him and his knees had given up trying to lift hips Feliciano was holding down with all of his weight. When the shaking started, that was when Feliciano could finally acknowledge the cold trails of wet escaping down and staining the back of his brother's shirt. When Lovino started crying, that was when Feliciano fell off of him into the dirt and cried too.

"Take… Take me to the church…"

This chapter hurt me. I know it feels really brief, but I've never written Romano hitting a woman before and I never want to do it again.

Leave a review? Next chapter won't be much fun either, I'm sorry.