A/N – Ok, I SWEAR I thought I'd updated this before now! Promise! Anyway, I think I've let you wait long enough, so thank you to my reviewers, and here is the ninth chapter, finally.
DISCLAIMER – I do not own anything here except the stuff you don't recognise. If I did, I would now be rolling in money right now.
It was two days after I'd told James I liked him and I still hadn't heard from him. In fact, he'd completely ignored me. I kept telling myself I was being stupid and I should move on from that bullying, arrogant prat, but I just couldn't. No matter how much I tried to convince myself I still hated him just like this time last year, I kept coming back to one disturbing thought: He likes me too. And when I thought that I got the unmistakable sense of my stomach doing a flip. But I was already growing increasingly nervous that he actually did like me back, and I had just been too drunk to actually make an accurate judgment on whether he liked me or not. And judging by the way he was acting right now, I'd say not. He's sitting on the Hufflepuff table with Alexis and her friends. He said something and they all laughed. So much so, that Alexis felt the need to learn on to him to stop herself from falling off the bench. I rolled my eyes at this, trying to ignore the pang of jealousy I felt. Why couldn't that be me? I turned back to my breakfast, to find it had all disappeared.
"What the…" I trailed off as my eyes rested on Sirius, who's plate was still untouched, yet he was happily munching on a mouthful of food. Noticing my death stares, he grinned.
"Sorry, Lilykins, I never like seeing good food go to waste."
"1. It wasn't going to waste and 2. Please wait until you've finished eating to begin talking." I said through gritted teeth.
"It was going cold. That's good enough for me! Oh and by the way, James wants to speak to you later. He says it's 'urgent'. He put air quotes around the word urgent. I felt my stomach flip once again. So he hadn't completely forgotten about me, then. That was a good sign, right?
The walk from Charms back to the heads dorm was a long one. I was trying to rehearse what I was going to say. If he told me he didn't like me, it was pretty straightforward. I'd just say I was joking, and we'd leave it at that. We'd go back to being friends and I would get over him. Simple. If he told me he liked me…well, that was another story all together. I mean, what about Alexis? He couldn't like me. Not when he was with her. I stepped through the portrait hole to find James already waiting, sitting silently, staring at the fire. He looked up at me and I suddenly began dreading what was coming. He had that look that said 'Thanks, but no thanks'.
"Lily, hey. I was beginning to wonder whether Sirius had forgotten to tell you. It wouldn't be surprising." He smiled slightly, then stood up. "Listen, Lils," He took a deep breath "I want you to know that I love you. I always have, and I always will. Nothing will ever change that," I felt my heart miss a beat. He didn't just like me, he loved me! James Potter loved me! So I hadn't been completely drunk two nights ago after all…Wait. What about Alexis? As if he was reading my thoughts, James continued. "But I also love Alexis." Oh. Well, that put a downer on things.
"So…So, you love me…but…you also love her?" I asked, my voice faultering a little. I couldn't believe this. If I'd have just recognised my feelings sooner, it would be me. It would be me sitting with him at breakfast, laughing at his jokes. It would be me he insists on kissing every single minute, as if he'll die if he didn't…It was all my fault. If I'd just been sooner. Oh, Lily, you are so stupid! I felt tears prick my eyes and I didn't bother wiping them away. He noticed this and reached out for me. "Lils, I'm sorry." "No. No, it doesn't matter. I was just being stupid, right? I obviously wasn't thinking straight. I mean, I could hardly walk that night, let alone know what I was saying." I laughed, but the tears that now fell down my cheeks betrayed me. "I'm just going to go…" I ran up the stairs to my room, not daring to look back. I fell onto my bed and buried my face in my pillow, not bothering to wipe my tears away. I cried myself to sleep that night, my dreams haunted with the feeling of rejection.
A/N – Ok, not my best work, but I don't think it's my worst, considering I haven't been in the whole writing frame of mind for a while. Anyway, it's very short, I know, but I wanted to get this out there. And, even better, my exams are over, so I'll put this at the top of my to-do list! Ugh, school, doesn't it get in the way of everything? Anyway, let's dedicate this chapter to Hannah Banana. 'Cause Hannah Banana is awesome. And, REVIEW! Seriously, if it wasn't for the reviews from the last chapter I wouldn't have updated this story half as fast as I did. So if you want me to update, review :)