It would be so easy. All she had to do was focus on today. The sheer exhilaration of relief tied inextricably to his presence. If she focused on today, maybe she could forget last Friday. If she focused on today, maybe she could go back in time. Back to when life was simpler.

Then again... She turned onto her other side. Her body sunk into the foam mattress of the hide-a-bed, but no matter how easily the bed moulded to her form, she could not get comfortable. Confusion, hurt, anger, relief, guilt and fear each took their turn attacking her mind, stealing any semblance of peace.

Yes, Luke had saved her life. But he had also betrayed her. Worse than that, he'd made her look like a fool. No, she might be able to forgive one day, but she would never forget. Things were never going to be the same.

A flush of embarrassment washed over her, she pulled the covers over her head as if the bed could swallow her whole. Sam knew, Traci knew, she was pretty sure Gail knew... probably everyone at fifteen with the possible exception of Chris, who was too good hearted to even think about it, knew. They knew. And she'd spent the day lying to all of them. It was exhausting. And now she knew it was all for nothing.

She threw back the covers and sat up. There would be no sleep tonight. No matter how tired her body was, how heavy her eyelids, she couldn't seem to shut her eyes for more than a second.

If she were perfectly honest, Luke and Jo were not to blame for tonight's sleeplessness. She was exhausted enough her thoughts were barely even making sense at this point. the real problem was what might happen if she closed her eyes. If she let the darkness overtake her.

If she woke up and realized that it wasn't a nightmare. That the rescue and the aftermath were the dream. That reality had her duct taped to a pole in a storage locker with no cell phone reception and no one coming to her rescue. That her reckless pursuit of Luke's hunch, her desperate need to prove she could rise above whatever drama she'd fallen into, had ended in terror.

No. Sleep was not a possibility tonight.

Andy pulled her legs to her chest, hugging them tightly. Her chin rested on one knee. She focused on keeping her eyes open and thinking about nothing.

o o o

It should have been easy. All he had to do was say no. She would have been annoyed, but she would have been safe. If he'd said no, none of this would have happened. Not that it was all bad. They had caught a serial killer today. Thanks to Andy's inability to leave well enough alone, and Callaghan's complete disregard for her safety.

Alright, maybe that wasn't quite fair. There was really no way Callaghan could have anticipated Andy's movements or Nixon's violent reaction. But Sam wasn't feeling very fair where Luke Callaghan was concerned. Anybody who cares about you is going to figure it out pretty fast. His own words echoed in Sam's mind. He hadn't meant to say it out loud. He cared about her. More than he should. He'd known that for months. But he'd never meant to say it out loud.

He'd just bee so angry. A part of him had wanted to wound her with his words. The part of him that was irrationally furious at Callaghan, at Rosati, at Andy, but mostly at himself. The part of him that had enjoyed beating Callaghan months earlier in their training exercise, the part of him that wanted to fuck Andy and leave her just so he could stop wanting her so badly he sometimes couldn't breathe, the part of him he was ashamed of. The part that was not always under control.

Instead he'd walked away. It was cowardly, and he hated himself for it, but there'd really been no other option. If he'd stayed he wouldn't have been able to stop himself. From kissing her senseless or from squeezing around her throat and shaking until the red cleared from his vision, he didn't know. He just knew he couldn't think with her near.

So he'd lashed out, the truth a dual aged sword, cutting them both with cruel efficiency. A Guy who put a ring on your finger and the cheated on you... You can spin the story anyway you want, anybody who cares about you...

Not that Andy had grasped the real meaning behind his words. Her own pain was too raw for subtleties. He wondered, not for the first time, how much of that pain was because of Callaghan's betrayal and how much was the humiliating realization that people knew. Pride she had in spades, and it had to be smarting.

He flipped over in bed with a sigh. It was difficult to settle tonight. The images his mind had conjured were vivid and terrifying. Andy bound and gagged. Nixon wrapping his hands around her throat... and those were just the ones based on reality. His imagination was only too happy to provide a million and nine what-ifs to set his stomach churning.

He was glad she wasn't trying to sleep on Tommy's couch tonight. He'd meant what he said to her in the locker room. He'd seen Tommy's apartment. There was barely room for one in the small, poorly kept space. The tiny apartment was dingy and depressing, definitely not the place to recover from heartbreak - especially not when the other occupant was your own father.

Nash was probably the right person to take care of Andy right now, but even though he knew that, Sam couldn't help wishing she'd needed him.

It had been four months since the blackout. Since he'd fallen asleep with her in his arms, her hair tickling his nostrils. Only to wake to a note and an empty promise. They'd come a long way since, and yet on a night like tonight he felt like he hadn't moved at all. He was still waiting for her to finish the 'something I have to do' and come back to him.

He groaned. It was pathetic really. It had been four months during which she'd moved in with and gotten engaged to another man, and yet he couldn't get her out. She was in his head, his heart, his blood. No matter what she did, there was an invisible, unbreakable string, looped around him tying his happiness to hers.

Tonight she was not happy. She hadn't been happy in a week . He rolled onto his back and started at the ceiling. It was going to be a long night.

A/N: Just a quick note for anyone who is following any of my other stories: I'm still mired in real life insanity (moving across the country, not the fun it's cracked up to be let me tell you). Drowning will continue to be updated between episodes until the season is over whether the muses like it or not, but everything else is on hold until life calms down.

I hope you enjoyed my take on this week's epic episode. Is anyone else already salivating over next week's promos?

Please review!