Gilligan squirms uncomfortably in the hallway.
He shifts from foot to foot, anchoring himself to the plush hotel carpet. He stares at the door in front of him.
He hears movement inside the room, then voices. One voice rises above the other, "George Summers, that's the silliest thing I've ever seen in my life!"
"But ... but, darlin', I won! Look, it's a hamburger."
"I know. You showed it to me three times last night."
George and the Skipper had wandered back to the hotel well after one o'clock in the morning with a better understanding of each other and the confidence of knowing that they were the island's most recent conquerors of the infamous Belly Buster. George burst into his hotel room, golden hamburger trophy held aloft, grinning with tipsy accomplishment. He swept his wife up in his arms and kissed her and she half-heartedly punched him in the shoulder, pretending to be annoyed but unable to be truly angry at his enthusiasm.
The two men had talked for hours, drowned their sorrows in the endless free refills, and returned to the hotel three sheets to the wind and positively giddy. When they were each four beers deep, George awkwardly tried to ask the Skipper about the state of Gilligan and Mary Ann's relationship without actually asking any questions. Questions that Martha would just come right out and ask and the Skipper suspected that she would if she ever got him alone for five minutes. Questions that he suspected she was thoroughly embarrassing her niece with at this very moment. Questions that would confuse Gilligan and that the Skipper didn't know the answers to, thank goodness. But if he did, he wouldn't answer them even if he was drunk enough to want to engage in some good old fashioned sailor gossip.
The men told war stories, island stories, farming stories, Navy stories, Gilligan stories, happy stories, sad stories. Stories about Guadalcanal and movie stars and cows and millionaires and car accidents and Harold Higgenbotham's pig giving birth in the middle of his living room. They laughed a lot and maybe even cried a little, even though neither of them would ever admit it.
Gilligan stares at the brass numbers on the door. He wipes his sweating palms on his jeans.
He raises his hand to knock, then thinks better of it. He stares at the door some more.
Earlier that morning, Gilligan stood in front of the mirror in his hotel room, a white towel wrapped around his waist. The room was full of steam and the mirror had completely fogged up from another one of his hour long showers. He still couldn't get over having real plumbing again and he'd begun standing in there reveling under the endless stream of hot water until Mary Ann came looking for him or the hotel manager banged on his door to give him the water bill.
Gilligan rubbed away a circle of condensation so he could see his reflection to shave. He couldn't see Mary Ann sneaking up behind him. Her hair hung in wet coils across the shoulders of her big white fluffy hotel robe, her bare feet tip toeing stealthily across the tile.
Mary Ann reached out to tickle his sides. "Hi."
Gilligan yelped and jumped three feet in the air. The razor clattered into the sink and he whirled around, wide eyed and panting from the fright. "Mary Ann!" He gripped his towel tighter around his waist with both hands.
He had cut himself with the razor when he jumped and a small bead of blood had appeared on his jaw. "Gilligan! I'm sorry!" Mary Ann folded up a few tissues and wet them with cold water. She stood up on her toes to press the tissues gently over his injury.
"Mary Ann, I just got outta the shower!"
She smiled. "I know." His bare shoulder was damp beneath her hand. "So did I." The humidity in the bathroom was stifling. She was already sweating in the thick robe.
"How did you get in here?"
"We have connecting rooms."
Gilligan's eyes widened. "We do?"
"Sure. Where do you think that other door goes?"
Gilligan's mouth tipped thoughtfully, then he shrugged. "Narnia?" She laughed and he grinned.
Mary Ann checked the tissues and then folded them over, pressing a clean area over his cut jaw. She brushed his wet hair out of his eyes with her other hand. "Gilligan, you should go invite Uncle George and Aunt Martha to that park to see the waterfall you keep telling me about."
Gilligan pouted. "I want to go there just you and me."
Mary Ann smiled. "I know. So do I." Mary Ann turned his face to the side so she could see his injury in the hazy light of the misty bathroom. It stopped bleeding, so she removed the compress and slipped both arms around his neck. "But we can't just leave them in their room all day." Her fluffy robe tickled his chest and he squirmed a little.
"I know." Gilligan's brow furrowed and his lips pursed in concentration. "How 'bout I take them to the Arizona Memorial instead? I think your uncle'd like that a lot better than flowers and waterfalls."
Mary Ann's eyes lit up and she beamed. "That's a great idea! Aw, Gilligan, you're wonderful." She said it the way she used to during their first year on the island and it made his heart swell.
Mary Ann leaned forward and kissed him once, gently, and then twice, and then a third time. One of his arms wound around her waist. "You smell like real soap," he mumbled, his nose in her hair and his cheeks buried between her neck and the fluffy collar of her robe. Mary Ann ran her nails down his arms and onto his stomach. She tickled his abdomen and he yelped in her ear. "Mary Aaannn, stop!" he whined against her neck, trying to scoot everything below his shoulders out of her reach and keep his towel on at the same time.
Mary Ann laughed and poked him in the gut. "Go get dressed."
"Okay." He lifted his head, kissed her on the cheek like a little boy, and started combing his hair in the mirror.
Mary Ann frowned down at the countertop. "Gilligan, this place is a mess." She began moving shaving cream and toothpaste out of the way. Puddles of water dotted the granite like little lakes. Mary Ann reached out a hand toward him. "Hand me a towel, would you?"
"Sure." Gilligan instinctively reached for the towel wrapped around his waist and then froze. "Mary Ann!" She laughed and he tucked the ends of the towel tighter around his body, gaping at her.
Mary Ann squealed as he lunged for her. She ducked around him and his momentum sent him crashing into the towel bar. She skipped from the bathroom and slipped through the door to her room. Gilligan reached the door just as he heard the lock slam into place and her delighted laughter from the other side.
Gilligan squirms uncomfortably in the hallway.
He takes a deep breath, raises his hand to knock again. He hesitates a moment, then his fist connects with the door twice, quickly, and returns to his side.
The door flies open and Gilligan flinches. George appears and plants himself in the doorway. He crosses his arms.
Martha peeks around her husband's arm and grins when she sees Gilligan. "Good morning, dear!"
Gilligan can't help but smile back at her. "Morning."
George looks less scary today. He's not glaring at Gilligan as intensely, but that might be due to the hangover he's nursing. He's wincing slightly under the harsh lights in the hallway.
When neither man says anything, Martha naturally jumps in. "I hear you have one of those silly hamburger trophies, too, William." She glances up at her husband, shakes her head a little, but then grins at Gilligan again, like it's not as silly when Gilligan wins one.
Gilligan smiles sheepishly, rubs the back of his neck. "Yes, ma'am."
"Congratulations."
"Thanks."
The hallway descends into silence again.
Martha gasps quietly. "What happened to your face?"
Gilligan's hand goes to the spot on his jaw. He pokes it and grimaces. He had already forgotten it was there. "Oh. I cut myself shaving. Mary Ann snuck up on me in the bathroom after we got out of the shower and I ..." Gilligan trails off when he notices George raise one eyebrow. "Not together!" he yells. Martha's grinning at him again, clearly with the wrong idea in her head, as always. "She was in her room!" Gilligan points off to the left with his right arm. "And I was in mine." He points off to the right with his left arm, tangles himself up. "Just ... just at the same time. She snuck up on me because our rooms connect!" His eyes widen. "Which – which I didn't know about until she snuck up on me! I'm gonna lock the door from now on, I promise!"
Gilligan stares at the wallpaper next to the door, eyes wide with horror. He did it again. He breaths heavily, gasping for air. Other than his labored breathing, the silence is palpable. The elevator dings as it passes their floor.
He's going to be killed right here in the middle of this hallway. These are his last moments. Make them good. Pick a good thought to be your last, William Gilligan, because you're a goner this time. He concentrates, focuses on a chocolate covered hamburger. No – the Belly Buster and the sundae chaser! Coconut crème pie. The pie plate is balanced on Mary Ann's palm. She's all wet, fresh from the shower in her hotel robe. Gilligan slaps a hand over his eyes even though everything he's seeing is in his mind.
"You came back."
Gilligan's head snaps up and he stares at George. The first mate is shocked into silence for a second. He swallows hard. He might as well face his last moments with dignity, so he stands up straighter, pulls his shoulders back, and takes a deep breath. "Yes, sir."
George smiles. Genuinely. "Good."
END
Shout out to Teebs! Thanks for being awesome, lady! We're gonna keep this board alive if it kills us! (Although then I guess that defeats the purpose).
Also, a shout out to Lilly! Thanks so much for all your consistent reviews over these many months. I wish you had a account so I could PM you personally. The fandom is dwindling at the moment, but I appreciate your consistent support and encouragement. I'm glad you enjoy my stories and perhaps you'll write some of your own one day. :)
PS: I have a companion piece to this running around in my head. Stay tuned for that.