It had been a tough night that was for sure. Naruto didn't know what he was to do once he got home with Hinata. On the walk home, she had drifted off to sleep so he figured that it was for the best that he put her to bed. Setting the things in the kitchen, Naruto made his tails; fox ears, fangs and claws vanish, giving him the normal appearance of a human man.
Looking down at the sleeping blue haired woman, Naruto couldn't help but wonder if he had scared her. If she thought of him as a monster… She had every right to think of him like that, after all he did transform and he knew that it wasn't normal for someone to turn into something else. At least, from what he's seen from TV and of course from how Hinata, her family and the pink haired woman hadn't changed either.
Letting out a sad sigh, Naruto started to make his way toward Hinata's room. All he wanted to do was to live a simple life, one where he would have been accepted no matter where he was. Though, he didn't think that would be possible, not if people would fear him. What bothered him the most though, was how Hinata would have reacted to him. Sure, he knew that she had held onto him but from what he's heard on TV most people would have reacted to that if they had been saved by someone who was about to be harmed in some way.
Was he just over thinking it, or was he thinking about this just enough? He couldn't really be sure, though what he did know was that he should at least tell Hinata good bye when she woke up… mostly because he didn't know how to write yet.
Looking down at the sleeping woman, Naruto wondered how someone would react if they knew the truth about him. Would they run away? Or would they accept him for who and what he is? No, no one could ever accept him. It had been nothing but a fluke that Hinata ran to him and held onto him after he had saved her. Closing his eyes for a moment, the young man tried to get himself to calm down, he tried to get the inner turmoil within his heart to stop stirring, to settle and go back to sleep though so long as people knew of what he was, there could be risks…
What those risks were though had always been a mystery to him.
Inhaling softly, the young man tried to focus on the sounds that resided in the house or even outside. The sounds of crickets were making their soft chirping, the birds that came out at night… hell, he even heard a few cats running outside. Though even those sounds weren't enough to get him to forget about his troubles. He didn't think that it would be possible for him to forget about any of his troubles at all. Frowning to himself, he thought that he didn't have a right to be calm, that he didn't have a right to act like a human but to be what he had always been… a monster.
Frowning, the young man thought if he should just up and leave, pretend that he never knew of Hinata or anything for that matter. Maybe it was best that he just left and have Hinata forget about him. Yet, the thought of her forgetting about him caused him to have great pain go through his chest. Why? Was this something from his powers after not using them for so long or if it was something else… He couldn't really be sure since he didn't fully understand most of what he should know.
Inhaling softly, the young man knew that the pain would be something he would have to ignore, like all of the pain that he had dealt with in the past. It was the only thing he could do after all, since he didn't really know the cause of the pain unlike the others. Looking up, Naruto saw that he was at Hinata's bedroom door now so he carefully moved her in his arms so he could reach for the door and open it. Looking down at the blue haired woman once again, he wondered how she could still be asleep. Was it because of what had happened tonight or was she just tired?
Shaking his head, Naruto opened the door and started to make his way toward her bed. As he walked toward Hinata's bed, he couldn't help but wonder if Hinata would accept that he had or hadn't been to her home. Or would she just chase after him so she could get the answers that she seeked? Maybe it was best that he just stayed here to explain everything instead of her trying to find him later and have the people from the lab try to use her for their test subjects. It was for the best right? Or would he only put her in even more danger than he already was?
Letting out a sad sigh, Naruto made his way toward Hinata's bed and pulled the blankets back for her and started to lay her on her bed. Looking Hinata over, he was happy to see that she didn't have injuries… Pulling the blankets over her, Naruto tucked her in bed for a moment before he looked over at her for a moment before he carefully reached over and brushed her bangs aside. Blushing darkly, Naruto pulled his hand back quickly before he just sighed sadly. 'I shouldn't do that… it isn't right for me to taint her life…' thought Naruto before he started to back away from Hinata's bed.
Naruto felt more pain shoot its way through his chest, causing him to wince before he started to walk away. He had to leave this room… Tightly shutting his eyes for a moment, trying to get himself to relax. The young man knew that this was going to be difficult since the pain only seemed to worsen as he tried to leave Hinata in her room. Maybe a shower will help him to relax…
Taking a deep breath, Naruto started to make his way to his room so he could grab a clean change of clothes. His clothes had gotten a little torn from when he had transformed which of course was natural for it to happen. Not to mention, his shirt was stained in his blood from when that man… uh… whatever that silvery thing in his hand was though he knew that it was something like those guys at the lab had used on him.
While in his room, Naruto just grabbed clothes at random, not really caring what he wore since he still didn't understand the whole idea of clothes that were to match. Shaking his head, the young man picked up everything he was sure that he needed for the shower and tilted his head to the side as if trying to think of anything else that he was going to need.
"Maybe a shower will help my shoulder…" mumbled Naruto as he started to make his way toward the shower. It was hard for him to ignore the pain, maybe it was because the man held that silvery thing so close to him that it would have caused more pain then when those men used their weapons on him. Frowning in deep thought, Naruto knew that he still had so much to learn though sadly it didn't seem that was going to happen since he did plan to leave Hinata after he told her what he could.
Shaking his head, Naruto opened the door and locked it behind him. Something he had learned from Hinata that it was only right for him to lock the door when he was going to shower. When he made his way to the counter, Naruto set his clothes down and stared at his reflection. His blonde hair was a little flat, he assumed it was from his sweat since he was sweating a bit when he had transformed. Anger was a powerful thing, but him being nervous the whole time was stronger than his anger.
His eyes looked a little dull yet sad and… some other kind of emotion that he didn't know about. Maybe he was just over thinking about what he was feeling…
Shaking his head a bit, the young man walked over to the shower before turning on the water to how he liked it. While he was letting the water warm up, Naruto started to remove his clothes. He wondered if the blood would come out of his clothes or, if Hinata would be able to fix them. He did have to admit, this was his favourite outfit.
Removing his orange over shirt, Naruto looked at the shoulder and frowned a bit. The hole was a little big though he didn't know if it would be fixable. Sighing softly, he tossed it onto the floor before removing his white t-shirt. The shirt was also stained in his blood, though he figured that was to be expected since if his orange shirt was stained it was only understandable that this one would have been as well. Sighing, he tossed it onto the floor as well before he started to remove his black pants and boxers, then his socks. After that, he stepped into the shower and started to wash himself.
Hissing in pain, Naruto leaned against the wall as he tried to get his baring's together. Damn it, this pain was worse than he thought it would have been when he stepped into the warm shower. Taking a deep sharp breath, Naruto looked at his hand, forcing his nails to grow out into claws as a particle transformation before he dug the claws into the wound before he pulled out the small silver object. He couldn't remember what Hinata had called them though he was just happy that it came out.
Looking over at the wound, Naruto just watched as the hole had started to slowly mend itself. Pulling the skin together as it started to pinking at the edges before it fully healed itself. Soon, his gaze went to the object that he had pulled out of his shoulder before narrowing his eyes and set it on the edge of the tub before he grabbed the shampoo that Hinata bought for him and started to wash up his hair.
If there was one thing he was really thankful for after leaving the lab it was learning how to use a shower. It sucked when they wouldn't let him wash up for months at a time, he would really stink when they decided to finally wash him though that was mostly when he was out cold or he would have tried to fight for his freedom again.
Shaking his head, Naruto knew that he shouldn't keep thinking about the past. He was free now, and that was something that he had always wanted and now he had it. Though, for how long?
Placing his palms on the shower wall, bowing his head as he closed his eyes. Naruto tried to get himself to stop thinking about that… Though it seemed that what he had heard was really true. You cannot escape your past no matter how hard you try.
Clenching his hands into fists, Naruto wanted to forget about the lab, wanted to forget about the white coats, wanted to forget about the pain though those just didn't want to fade from his mind. "I just want to be free…" whispered Naruto, though he highly doubted that would be the case. He couldn't be free, not so long as he was living anyway but he couldn't end it like that. There had to be another way to end this once and for all. Yet, he didn't know how as of yet. There had to be something that he could do to end this hell, to end the torment that would forever haunt him.
"But what?" muttered Naruto with a sad sigh.
Shaking his head, the young man pushed himself to stand up straight before he started to lather up his hair… Maybe he should just go back… what was there for him here anyway? Grunting, Naruto placed a hand over his chest and frowned. "Why does my chest hurt when I think about leaving?"
Yawning, Naruto finished his shower and started to rub a towel over his hair to help dry it quicker. He had seen Hinata do it a few times though he figured that it too dry his hair than what the pink haired woman would say that she did for her hair. Ah well, he was happy with what he does for his hair anyway. Once he was sure that his hair was dry enough to dry on its own, Naruto started to use the orange brush that Hinata bought for him and ran it through his wet locks.
After that, the strands flicked upward back into its usual spiky style. He never understood how his hair would go like that but he wasn't going to complain about it.
Staring at his reflection, Naruto saw that he looked tired. The white sleeveless shirt made his skin look a little darker compared to how it really was since at the moment, he looked a little pale. Looking down, he saw that the long, loose orange pants were the only other colour to his skin besides his hair. Otherwise, he looked like he was ill.
Sighing, Naruto turned away from the mirror before he started to make his way toward the door. Maybe a good night sleep would be enough for him to get over his problems. Yawning softly, the young man stretched his arms above his head before he went to grab his dirty clothes and to throw them into his laundry hamper only to blink when he opened the door. "Uh…" was all he could say as he was now standing in front of Hinata.
"Naruto… can… can we talk?" asked the blue haired woman.
Okay, he had no idea when she woke up but it was easy to see that she had been waiting for him for a little while. Though, he knew what she wanted to talk about. Taking a deep breath, he nodded before he told her to wait for him. After that, he started to make his way to his bedroom and tossed his clothes in the hamper before he started to make his way toward the living room. He didn't know how she was going to ask him, or even how he was going to explain it. Either way, he didn't know and feared that she was going to hate him.
Looking over at Hinata, her lavender eyes looking up at him with so many questions. He found it strange that he liked that look of hers, even a little bit. Though at the moment he wasn't going to question that. All he knew, was that this was going to be difficult for him to explain, and possibly more so for Hinata to hear what he was going to tell her. Just thinking about it made him want to cry, but he could not bring himself to do that, for he had always been beaten when he would shed tears, for the white coats would always tell him that it was not 'becoming for a weapon'.
"So… what do you want to hear first?" asked Naruto.
"I… I want to know what you are…"
Looking over at Hinata, Naruto saw that she was curious. That she really did want to know and in a way, he could see a hint of fear within those lavender orbs of hers. The look within them, it made his heart break a little of how she would act if he lost her in any way. Even though he doesn't fully understand the reason for it. It was a new feeling in his chest that he wanted to know what it was, yet he didn't know if it was a good feeling, or a bad one. At the moment it just seemed like it was a bad one.
Turning his gaze away from Hinata, he started to look at the ground, his hands held together as he tried to think on how he could explain it in even words that he could understand. Yet, he was having trouble trying to think on the words, to think on the explanation. It was only harder from that though, it was how Hinata would react to the truth. After all, this was something that no normal person could comprehend right?
People could never really understand it, maybe that was why he barely understood it and he was the one that had the twisted body when it was compared to a human. It almost made Naruto sad that he wasn't normal, though then again if it wasn't for his unusual abilities, Hinata may have been in a worse situation than what he would have thought to be possible for people.
Leaning back in his seat, Naruto bit his lower lip as he tried to get back to trying to explain this to Hinata. Though it seemed that it was only getting harder and harder for him for it felt like there was some kind of lump in his throat that prevented him from speaking. "You know… if you don't want to… to tell me you don't have to." Whispered Hinata. Why did that make him feel terrible? No, he had to tell her the truth; he had hid it long enough from her as it was.
Shaking his head, Naruto calmly said "it isn't that I don't want to tell you… it's trying to explain it…" He looked over at her for a moment before he let out a soft sad sigh. Well, he might as well get it over and done with right?
"I was raised in a lab. The white coats, well at least that's what I call them… they did something to my body to make me what I am today." Naruto started his face a frown before he leaned back in his seat. "For as long as I can remember, I was used for pain endurance, a test of my strength, and to see how long I could last without food, water anything until I would go mad and into some kind of frenzy."
Looking over at Hinata, he saw that she was staring at him with wide eyes; he couldn't tell if it was from fear or shock. Maybe a mixture of both. Either way, he knew that it was hard for her to hear this. Looking away, he said "I don't know what they did to me all the time; I was mostly asleep when they would inject me with something. All I know is that I would wake up in a pool of blood, some of it, maybe a few drops would be mine while the rest belonged to other experiments."
"Is… is that why you threatened to kill those men?" asked Hinata.
Naruto nodded as he said "to me, killing is easy… but dealing with the deaths is something that does take me a while to get over. I guess it has to do with the desire to protect either myself or those around me." Turning to stare at Hinata, the blonde haired man calmly added "though of course I've never had anyone to protect until you."
Hinata blinked at Naruto for a moment; maybe she still couldn't fully understand what he was saying though that was to be accepted. Taking a deep breath, he buried his face in his hands as he bent himself forward with his elbows on his knees and took a deep breath. All he wanted right now was to get this explanation to get over and done with though that would be harder than it seemed.
"I lived every day having to deal with those white coats, they would do tests with me but they never taught me anything. All I knew was to go in the rooms, allow them to test my strength and of course to see how well I could endure other situations that may be called for." Clenching his hands into tight fists, Naruto said "I was almost torn to pieces every time I would go through their stupid tests and they wouldn't care so long as they got their results."
Naruto growled at the memories. When he would go back into his room, he would cry himself to sleep when he was alone. Though of course when he was smaller he would cry, now he just curled up in a ball as he tried to get the pain to go away. Taking a deep breath, Naruto grabbed at the choker on his throat as he said "this choker acts as a suppressant I guess you can say. It controls my body in a way… it keeps me from going out of control." Sighing softly, the young man whispered "it also keeps my appearance human since my true form… is what you saw last night." Looking over at Hinata with sad eyes, he added "without it, I'll go into a bloodlust and rage that will have me kill hundreds if I don't have it on at all times…"
"So… that's why you never take it off." Whispered Hinata.
"Yes… without it, I become a monster. I turn into a beast that only knows how to kill and kill for its own pleasure and joy. I don't why I was chosen as a test subject or where I really came from… all I know, was that they called me Experiment F 001… I'm guessing the F stood for fox because of the fox tails and ears." Naruto said with a sigh before he ran his fingers through his hair and frowned a little more.
Closing his eyes, Naruto said "I'll understand if you never want to be with me anymore Hinata. Knowing that I'm a monster, someone that should never have been born but just know that being here… learning… spending time with you has been the most fun I've had in my entire life." He pushed himself up and started to walk away. Naruto knew that this was for the best.
After all, who would put up with a monster?
Suddenly, something wrapped itself around him. Turning his head to look over his shoulder, all Naruto could do was stare at her in shock… Hinata was holding onto him as if she was afraid to let him go. "What…?" He said in shock for a moment before shaking his head. "Let me go Hinata."
"No!" shouted Hinata, shaking her head against Naruto's back. He didn't know why she was doing this, though he knew that he had to get her off of him so he could leave this place. But no matter he couldn't throw Hinata away from him. "You're not a monster Naruto! A monster wouldn't have saved me! Wouldn't have brought me home and tucked me into bed and told me their story, their history! A monster would have let those men rape me, would have left me there in the street and I possibly may have died! You saved me!" cried Hinata as she clung to Naruto.
The blue eyed man turned himself around and stared at Hinata with wide eyes. How… how could she think of those things when… wasn't he a monster? Shaking his head, Naruto wrapped his arms around Hinata and held her close to his chest as he let out a soft sigh. He wasn't sure why but… in a way he was thankful that Hinata stopped him from leaving. Though what confused him right now was the way his heart was beating when he held Hinata… what did this mean?