"What are you?" England asked the Ruthenian, "crazy?"
"I don't know. Hehehehehe." laughed Belarus in an eerie manner.
England somehow got a metallic bat and whacked Belarus in the head with it; knocking her unconscious.
"Stupid woman." muttered the Englishman.
England then dragged the Slavic woman down to his basement and tied her up.
"Grn. That should do it!" beamed England, dusting his hands after he tied Belarus up.
Belarus now laid in the Kirklands' basement, tied up with ropes and her mouth sealed with duct tape. As England prepared to leave the basement, a certain voice with a Gaelic accent shouted, "HEY ARTHUR, YE GOT ONY DOSH? WHERE ARE YE ANYWAY?"
A redheaded man- much taller than Arthur appeared in the doorway. "Oh, there ye be." Scotland noticed the tied up and unconscious woman.
"Oh me, Arthur! Didn't know ye tae bondage!" Scotland laughed heartily.
England fished into his wallet for some twenty pound notes. "Go do whatever. Bugger off." shooed England.
Scotland laughed a hearty laugh and left the basement, saying something about his little brother finally growing up in between each laugh.
England rolled his eyes. "I can finally get some bloody reading done."
For a good twenty or thirty minutes, England sat in his library reading pieces of his favourite literature from the Elizabethan and Victorian eras. His personal favourite was A Midsummer Night's Dream. For the second time in the same evening, he got the chills once again. He wasn't sick, nor was he cold. The Englishman remembered once again.
Belarus
No. No. England shook his head. He had knock Belarus unconscious and he tied her up in his basement.
"No. Nothing was going to go wrong," he reassured himself.
"Oh, England why did you beat your soon-to-be wife unconscious? That wasn't really gentlemanly of you." said a Belarus whom came out of nowhere.
"Oh God. No."
On the bright side, Belarus got his name correct.
"Doors are locked now," stated Belarus in her stalker voice," You can't escape me."
England mentally slapped himself. He'd just changed all the doors so that they lock from both the outside and inside so that he could prevent a drunk Scotland from going outside and causing mayhem.
"Right! I have the keys on me! Silly me." England thought to himself.
As he tried to locate his keys in his pockets, he realised that the metallic key that was all of his hope from escaping from Belarus was missing.
"Fuck."
Right at that moment, England heard a click sound emitted. He looked down at his hands and discovered that he was handcuffed to Belarus.
"We're now linked as one. Isn't that nice?" Belarus flashed England a creepy smile, "Now, say this: 'Ya lyublyu svayu zhyena Belarusi.'"
"What does that even bloody mean?" inquired a bamboozled England.
"I love Belarus, my wife."
"Blimey! I will not certainly do that."
Belarus scooted closer than close to England.
"Ty budyesh." commanded Belarus.
"Speak English!"
"You will." Belarus translated, "Once we become one, our mutual language will be Russian. Da, maya lyubov?"
England couldn't bother responding. His mind was nebulous as he was tired and wanted to take a shower and go to bed. As England went to the washroom to start undressing for his bath, he remembered that he was cuffed to the Belarusian.
"Go ahead! Don't stop stripping." commanded Belarus in a sly and seductive manner.
England decided to go to sleep instead- a bath can wait. Currently, he needed sleep. As he was handcuffed to Belarus, his movements associating with his hand was restricted. He cannot change into his pyjamas.
England passed out.
"Husband! Wake up! There's a World Conference today!"
The Belarusian's voice had awoken the Englishman from his slumber.
Shit.
England realised that he was still chained to the Belarusian. As he opened his eyes, he freaked out. The Belarusian's face was literally a few centimetres away from his own.
Those sweet and juicy and kissable lips…
"I know I'm gorgeous but we have to get moving!"
The Belarusian's voice snapped the Englishman out of lalaland.
"We can't possibly go like this!"
"Why not?" said a disappointed Belarus. She wanted to show everyone her new husband.
"We're cuffed together!"
"That's good! It will show our eternal love!"
"Are you crazy!?"
"Possible. Hehe."
England sighed.
"Fine, we stay," said Belarus, "But we make delicious borscht together. Just don't set the borscht on fire."
"Silly, borscht is a soup. How can it set on fire?"
"You are a bad cook."
"Bugger off."
World Conference, London. Chaos, as always.
"ALRIGHT DUDES, LET'S START THIS!" shouted an energetic American.
"ITALY, DON'T!" shouted a German.
"DON'T TOUCH MY FRATELLO, POTATO BASTARD."
We all know who that was.
"Wife." said Sweden to Finland in his monotonic voice.
Finland giggled, "Yes, husband?"
"L'v' y'."
Hungary fainted.
"Big brother, big brother, big brother!" chanted Norway.
"NO!"
"Undeveloped Uzbek."
"SHUT UP KAZAKH."
"Both of you suck."
"SHUT UP, MONGOLIA!" said Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan in unison.
"REMOVE TURKEY FROM PREMISES!" shouted Serbia.
"NORTH KOREA, BEST KOREA!"
"Da-ze?" said South Korea while groping China's breasts.
"ARU!"
"GIVE SEA!" shouted San Marino.
"GERMANY! HE'S SCARING ME!" cried Italy.
"GYPSIE!" shouted Hungary.
"HUN!" Romania retaliated.
"HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE LAS MALVINAS SON R.U.!" taunted Brazil in Argentina's native tongue.
Argentina smacked him while Portugal apologised for raising his son the wrong way.
"Ay! Speaking of England, where is he?" inquired Spain.
"Being a faggot." said Argentina.
Argentina, America, France and states of the former British Raj smirked.
"SCHO?! WHERE IS LITTLE SISTER BELARUS?" cried Ukraine.
"Totes looking for potatoes!" said Poland.
"POTATOES?!" exclaimed Latvia.
"DUDE! THEY MIGHT BE HOOKING UP TOGETHER. EW THE OLD MAN AND BELARUS."
"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol," chanted Russia.
The Baltic states gulped.
Many nations looked disgusted. Ukraine wept in a corner.
"I suggest going to England's house." suggested the well organised German.
"Yes! To see what kind of a shithole he lives in!" Argentina rudely remarked.
"America, Ukraine, Poland and myself will go to England's house. Norway and Sweden will be in charge."
"Why Norway and Sweden? They are scary and expressionless!" whimpered Italy.
"They're the only mature ones around here."
Belarus poured borscht into bowls with her free hand while England stared at her and thinking how accomplished he feels. The borscht did not burn up into flames or turn black.
The two now sat at the dining room table. England stared at the pinkish-red liquid in front of him.
"Drink!" encouraged Belarus.
"I can't. My free hand is not my dominant one."
"I'll feed you."
"No, Belarus, that's not necessary."
Meanwhile, at the Kirkland mansion's doorsteps, Germany pressed the doorbell and there doesn't seem to be a response.
"What if they're in Minsk? WHAT IF THE GOT KIDNAPPED?" cried an overreacting and protective Ukraine.
"Let's look through the windows and walk around to make sure. Don't worry, Ukraine." reassured Germany, "Now where's America and Poland?"
"Say aah.'" Belarus commanded.
"Aah?" England complied.
As Belarus penetrated England's mouth with a spoonful of borscht, America and Poland peeked through the dining room window.
"Yo, dude, is that Iggy being spoon-fed by Belarus?"
"KURWA! I gotta totes tell Lit and everyone."
Poland took a photo of England being spoon-fed by Belarus. He pressed a few buttons on his phone.
"What are you doing?"
"Sending it to all the countries."
"Whaddaya send?"
"I like sent the photo with the captions 'totes cute, shipping 5lyfe!'"
"AWH THAT'S SICK, MAN!"
World Conference, London
Harmonised beeps of incoming texts rang in the conference room. The nations all checked their messages.
"OHONHONHONHONHON. Angleterre's still got it." said France.
Argentina was in shock. "He isn't gay?!"
"HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE!"
"Shut up Brazil. I didn't raise you like this."
"Spoon-feeding originated from me, da-ze!"
"Is that food!?" said North Korea.
"England's gotten a girl, isn't that cute, Neddy?" said Belgium to her brother.
The Netherlands didn't reply. He had a suspicious pipe in his mouth.
"This is shippable!" exclaimed a fangirling Hungary.
"Austria, control your sex-deprived wife." demanded Romania.
"Kesesesesese. She needs my 5 metres of awesomeness." smirked Prussia.
"More like 5 millimetres. And we're divorced!" replied Hungary.
"Same thing." said Romania.
"NO IT'S NOT, YOU GYPSIE."
"EUROPEAN MONGOL."
"BEGGAR."
"BARBARIAN."
"I HAVE TRANSYLVANIA."
"SHUT UP! IT WAS BECAUSE AUSTRIA WAS A PUSSY AND DIDN'T WANT TO FIGHT."
I don't know what else to write, so please leave a review. Might take a while for me to update, I apologise in advance (fuck you school)