"That was absolutely brutal." Ron groaned as they walked down the hallway. The three had just gotten the dressing down of the year, no, century by McGonagall. It had been five minutes since leaving her office and their ears still rang from her vicious tirade.

"Please don't remind me." Harry replied as they reached the Fat Lady's portrait. Murmuring the password in such a depressing voice it made Poe's work sound happy, the three walked into the common room only to be swarmed and verbally assaulted by their peers.

"Bloody 'hell, what did you two do?" Came the yell from several enraged quidditch players. Before the two boys could defend themselves, the tirade continued.

"It must have been something stupid!" One complained loudly.

"Completely reckless would be a better word! Dunderheads!" Another player shot out.

"Is there any way you can talk McGonagall out of it? Or did ya piss her off good?" An older member jabbed.

"Now, now," Two very well known, similar, voices cut through as George and Fred made their way to Ron and Harry, who both just realized that Hermione had somehow vanished. "I'm sure our sweet baby brother and his best friend forever have a very good reason for why they're banned from our most favorite game until further notice, right?" They ended with such happy smiles that both boys knew there was a blood bath waiting for them if they didn't cough up a good answer.

"Er, we were just about to tell you guys." Ron hedged out to buy time. "How'd you know?"

"McGonagall was kind enough to leave a note for the Quidditch team telling us you were barred until further notice but-" George started.

"-she didn't explain why." Fred ended as the grumbling died down and everyone waited expectantly for an answer.

"It's our grades." Harry answered, trying to ignore the nervous sweat the broke out on the back of his neck. "Our grades aren't high to qualify us for the team anymore. It's gonna take some time to fix." He explained as Ron nodded eagerly in agreement.

"See?" The twins told the angry group. "A perfectly reasonable explanation. No need to rip 'em a new one. We've all been in their position at least once." At this, most the anger gave way to annoyed grumbling.

"What a terrible day! First we lose all our points and now this!" A burly beater complained as the group broke away.

"Get your grades up, you slackers!" A less sympathetic player told them as he passed by but they paid him no heed- they were just glad the mob had broken up.

"He's right ickle Ron!" The twins grinned. "Get those grades up before mum finds out or it's your hide that will pay the price."

"Shove off!" Ron snapped as he and Harry made their way over to the couches were Hermione was sitting with Neville talking quietly.

"Thanks for leaving us to the wolves Hermione!" Ron accused as he sat down in a huff, Harry following silently. She paused in her conversation to look at them both, a frown etched on her face.

"Excuse me?" She asked, incredulous. "Since when was it my job to explain to your teammates why you couldn't play? You're big boys, you survived."

"It's called silent support." Harry replied.

"I was silent supporting you- from the couch." Hermione told them with a small smile making both of them smile back.

"Um," Neville started out gaining their attention. "If you're having problems with school work, you could always ask Allen for help. He's usually in the library during the evening time and he's always surrounded by people and helping them with problems."

"I had no idea he was tutoring people." Hermione exclaimed.

"He's not!" Neville flushed. "I'm not sure how to explain it. He does help people but he also learns from other people. I guess a study group is a better term."

"Nah. We'll be okay." Ron dismissed with a wave and then hissed in pain when Hermione kicked him in the shin. "Ow! Hermione! That hurt!"

"You should go." She stressed to him and Harry. "I know it's after class but that doesn't mean you can't learn something."

"Well he might not be there tonight." Neville said before an argument broke out. "The Slytherins said he looked pretty tired this morning. He may be taking a break today."

"The Slytherins know about it?" Harry asked, curious.

"Of course they know." Ginny piped up, overhearing their conversation. "That's how it started. He was helping some Slytherins and then night after night it just grew. Now there's even a few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws."

"What? Hermione, why didn't you tell us this?" Ron asked Hermione.

"In case you haven't noticed Ronald, I haven't been to the library all that much this year." She sniffed. Which was true; she had been in maybe four or five times not counting when she snuck in and nicked the book that had the counter-spell for the wards.

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Ginny asked. "It's not like you."

"I'm trying a change of pace this year." Hermione tried to say without choking. "Actually, I feel rather tired. I think I'm going to go take a nap." She said as she stood up and sprinted to the stairs before anyone could question her.

"Weird." Ginny said after a moment.

"It's probably hurting her more than she wants to admit; not going to the library and all." Harry tried to defend. "I imagine it would be hard to adjust to."

"How barmy. Nobody's forcing her." Ginny shot back.

"Hey now, you know how 'Mione is. Always seeing something through even if she doesn't want to." Ron chuckled.

"Whatever. Come on Neville. We need to go ask Professor Sprout how to get those man-eating plants to mature."

"Man-eating plants?" Harry and Ron asked, remembering their first day of Defense.

"Yeah!" Neville said with an excited look on his face. "After that first class, Professor Cross decided he didn't need the plant anymore and gave it to Professor Sprout. She put it in the greenhouse with the more dangerous plants."

"Wait." Harry interrupted. "Man-eating plants? As in more than one? Because last time I checked, Cross only had one!"

"That's the greatest part!" Ginny said gleefully, tugging on Neville's arm to make him hurry up. "They breed like rabbits! A lot died before they bloomed though." She ended sadly.

"That's a bad thing? Carnivorous man-eating plants dying is a bad thing? How? And why are you involved in this any way?" Ron demanded looking hard at his little sister, who just sighed heavily.

"I know this hard for you to believe," She began slowly, as if speaking to a particularly stupid child. "But I have my own life with my own interests and if you actually talked to me once in a while you'd know that!"

"Alright fair enough, but man-eating plants?"

"I don't know what you're problem is!" Ginny yelled at him. "I find them cute! All you have to do is give them some loving. 'Sides once we cross breed them with the Acid Spitting Bloomer, I'm going to take one home! Maybe then, certain people won't go into my room." She finished with a smirk.

Ron looked at her like she was just announced she was dating Draco Malfoy.

"Merlin's pants!" He screeched out hysterically. "Y-you're evil! Why are you evil? How do we fix you?" He asked shaking her harshly by her shoulders. "Harry!" He called out desperately to his friend. "Muggles are good at this sort of thing, right? How do they get rid of evil?"

"Holy water?" Harry shrugged, half expecting Ron to yell 'Jesus Christ compels you!' at his sister.

"Stop it!" Ginny shouted, slipping out of her brother's hold. "I'm not doing anything bad! You're just being stupid as usual. C'mon Neville." She huffed as she dragged the quiet boy to the portrait opening mumbling and grumbling about idiot brothers as she did.

"Um, cheer up Ron." Harry said as he took in the defeated look on his friends face. "There's no need to be overdramatic is there? I mean at least she's not collecting spiders or-"

Ron started to silently cry.

"No!" Harry panicked. "No, no, no, none of that! Please none of that! Ron, consoling people is not something I'm good at; please don't do this to me!" The-boy-who-lived pleaded pathetically.

"Haaarrryyyyy," Ron sobbed out. "Why do you suck so bad?" He questioned desperately.

"I don't know!" Harry bursted out, feeling slightly insane from his lack of sleep and the several dressing downs he had suffered in the last several hours. "I was probably born with it! Think of it as a gift, er, curse. In any case, being emotionally insensitive is one of the few things I'm talented at, and making me feel bad about it is just going to increase my skills. Do you want that?" Harry questioned.

"No." Ron mangled out, calming down slightly.

"Good." Harry took out his wand and casted a spell to wide Ron's face clean. "Let's go get some lunch, it will make you feel better."

"Yeah." Ron sniffed. "What 'bout Hermione?"

"She'll be fine without us. Not like we could go get her anyway." Harry pointed out, not because he didn't want Hermione to come, but because he was staving and hungry boys never like to wait.

Meanwhile, Allen was lost.

Initially, he had set out to find Ron, Hermione, and Harry but somehow he ended up on the seventh floor. The stress combined with his own lack of sleep as well as the pressure to find the Innocence weighed down on him making him want to scream.

'There, there.' A musical voice in his head soothed. 'It's alight.'

Allen stopped dead.

'Did you miss me Little Clown?' The 14th's chuckles rang like an echo in his mind.

"Ah, shit." Allen's head met the concrete wall full on in hopes of causing either death, brain damage, or a miracle. It was hard to tell what he was aiming for in his state of mind.

"Why are you here?" Allen griped as he wiped the blood off his forehead.

'You didn't miss me? Cruel my dear, very cruel.' The Noah in his head said in mock sorrow and Allen could practically see him wipe away a tear.

"I swear," Allen hissed dangerously, "If you act up anytime we're here, I'll-"

'You'll what?' The shadow in his head challenged. Instead of answering right away Allen smirked. Then, he started to laugh softly until it became louder and louder, 'till it became a truly mad cackle.

Voldemort would have been impressed.

"What will I do?" he questioned, looking quite deranged to the paintings on the wall not only from the tone of his voice, but because it looked like he was talking to himself. "You asked the wrong question."

"My dear 14th, what won't I do?" Allen simpered out in a sickly sweet voice as he sent dozens of disturbing mental images to the Musician.

'. . .How odd! I'm feeling rather tired again. I think I shall retire.' The Noah said after he finished viewing the images.

"Damn straight you will." Allen muttered as he shoved himself off the wall and sighed in relief as he felt the Noah's presence leave his mind.

Huh. He felt strangely better now that he was able to threaten someone. He could focus on other problems and, sadly, his personal relationships weren't first on that list.

The first priority was the Innocence.

He and the others had discussed it when they went to the infirmary to have their wounds healed. So far, all the ideas they had come up with were either too time consuming or to reckless to use. Splitting up and doing a search and capture was both dangerous and lacking in time. Kanda's idea to chop the forest down as they went was rejected for not only destroying thousands of creatures' natural habitats, but also blowing their cover (and really, it was the blown cover that worried them most. Not the angry beasts that would want to eat them alive). Ravi suggested going to Komui and asking him to create an Innocence locator device. That was dashed on the principle that it involved Komui. At the moment, the best idea they had was bringing in more exorcist but Allen felt iffy about dragging in even more people.

'I need to find the Innocence. I need to find the Innocence.' He repeated over and over in his head hoping it would lead to an epiphany of some sort as he began to walk. Being a master at getting lost, Allen's subconscious mind had honed a defense mechanism against this weakness as it grew over the years.

It made him walk in circles.

The third time 'round, he was shook from his thoughts as the ground began to shake. Bracing himself against the wall, blue eyes went wide with shock as, along the parallel wall to his, a door began to form.

It looked like it was coming straight out of the wall. All of its decorative designs looking at first as if they were simply markings on the stone until they slowly turned in tangible. He saw the door handle and hinges come to life as they were colored a beautiful honey brown. Finally, the shaking stopped and the door sat there as if it had always been there.

"Er," Allen looked around, hoping someone would be nearby. "Am I supposed to go in?" He asked out loud in a nervous voice. Not even the pictures replied.

He spent the next several minutes trying to decide if it was safe to go in before becoming annoyed with himself and decided to just do it. Taking a deep breath, he grasped the handle and pulled, preparing himself for some dark creature to drag him into the darkness.

As it turns out, he had nothing to fear.

The room was empty except for the pedestal in the middle sitting in the dim light. On it sat the most beautiful bow Allen had ever seen. Even in the dullness, is shimmered and glowed with an otherworldly presence. It was bright silver and had a beautifully detailed tree etched into with such care, that Allen knew it was worth quite a bit of money. Stepping closer he gently caressed it with his hand.

"Is this. . .?" He asked softly, in awe and swore the room hummed an affirming sound. As he continued to handle the weapon as gently as he could, he felt it vibrate slightly in his hands and he shivered.

Definitely Innocence.

"What is this room?" he wondered out loud, and out of nowhere a small piece of paper floated down from the ceiling and landed on his head.

"Room of Requirement?" He asked in confusion as he read the words. At his question, the words on the parchment faded away and new words came across.

"Gives a person what they need most. Hmm. Can you give me a way to end the war back home?" He asked the room hopefully.

Nothing.

"What about the Heart? We really need that." Allen tried again.

Nothing.

"Food?" He asked more meekly.

Nothing.

"Oh come on!" He shouted, annoyed. "It's food!" Then he shook his head to clear his frustration. The Room had already given him what he needed- no need to be selfish.

"Sorry. I got carried away. It was wrong of me to try and have everything handed to me. Thank you for the Innocence." He told the room as he shouldered the bow and began walking toward the entrance. "I just hope we find a way to stop the destruction of the Order from that Pope." After saying that, he heard a thump. Turning, he saw a small black book sitting innocently on the floor near his feet. Picking it up and flipping through it, he grinned and let loose a dark chuckle.

"Dear Room," He called out, "You. Are. The. Best. Thank you for your help."

With his last thanks he set off to find the other exorcists.

While Allen was trying to get back downstairs, somewhere in the Forbidden Forest, a centaur wore a confused face when he discovered his bow was missing.

After several tries, Allen finally found himself back on first floor. The corridors were empty because lunch was in session, which he was thankful for. Having people stop him and ask where the bow came from would have been tedious. He dashed all the way to Cross's office and tried to open the door only to frown. The bastard had charmed it locked. Taking out his wand, he muttered as many unlocking charms as he could remember before becoming frustrated. Nothing was working.

No matter. If magic didn't work, then he'll just have to do it the manual way. Taking out the small paperclip that he always, always, kept on his person, Allen got on his knees and started the process of picking the lock the old fashioned way.

He had been able to pick locks and pickpocket people exceptionally well when he was younger, but it wasn't until he was under Cross's apprenticeship that he truly honed his skills to near god-like power.

Two seconds later, he heard the satisfying click telling him he had cracked it. Standing up, he opened the door with exceptional glee.

He didn't see Ravi behind the door.

Ravi, however, felt the door when it crushed him into the wall.

"Ow…" the Bookman weakly called out, one hand twitching, but in his excitement, Allen missed the cry and dashed toward a shocked Marian Cross who sat in a comfy chair near a burning fire.

"Look!" Allen said happily as he set the bow down on the desk and waited for Cross's response.

"What the hell?" The man asked incredulously, though his gaze was looking at his open door. "How the hell did you get in here? I had that door locked so I wouldn't be annoyed by you today."

"I picked it." Allen said casually. "Would you please just look at what's on your desk? It's kinda important."

"You can pick locks? Since when?"

"Since always."

"All these years I've known you, and you never told me you could pick locks?" Cross thundered, offended that such valuable information had been withheld from him.

"After what you did to me when you discovered my skills with cards? I think not." Allen replied, happiness fading when he realized the man in front of him was not getting the picture. "Would you just look-"

"Fool! Idiot! Bumbling bumpkin!" Cross hollered, sloshing his wine with his erratic movements. "All those times we're handcuffed and you could have picked the handcuffs? All the nights spent in jail when we could have been home free? All that time, wasted because you didn't think it was important to tell me, the most awesome, sexy, brilliant, beautiful, teacher in the universe that you could pick locks!"

"If you mean the most horrid, old, drunken, ugly, teacher in the universe, then yes." Allen responded dryly trying to keep his temper and failing.

"You-"

"Would you just look at what I brought you, you blind old man?" Allen yelled, losing his cool.

"Never! Nothing could be as important as the information you just-"

"It's the Innocence."

"If you cut me off one more time, I will cut you and I will do it in such a way that Sweeney Todd would be proud." Cross threatened before his apprentice's words caught up with him. "What?" He said, finally deeming it worthy to look at the bow on his desk. Studying it carefully for several minutes, he whistled. "Well I'll be damned."

"You are." Allen replied but Cross ignored him.

"This is the real deal." Cross confirmed after picking the bow up and taking a closer look at it. He was rather good at spotting counterfeits. It came with the lifestyle.

"Yayyy.. ." Came Ravi's muffled voice from behind the door but, once again, he was ignored.

"How did you find this? Better yet, where did you find this?" Cross questioned, suspicious of how the Innocence that was supposed to be a pain in the ass to find just popped up with no warning.

"Um, magic room?" Allen shrugged sheepishly.

"So you cheated." Cross nodded as if he was confirming something he already knew.

"Did not!" Allen protested heatedly.

"Well you didn't exactly go out and look for it, now did you?" The General shot back.

"So? I asked and I received." The white haired boy huffed, crossing his arms.

"Cause life always works that way." Cross snorted but gave the boy a grin. "I'll get this over to Komui and see where we go from there. Get out of here before I deduct points, stupid apprentice. Bet your house would love that." The Defense teacher laughed, remembering the letter Dumbledore had sent explaining the punishments for those miscreants.

"Hmph! How rude! Not even a thank you." Allen grumbled to himself as he made his way back. He stopped, finally noticing Ravi twitching on the floor behind the door.

"Good Lord, Ravi! What happened to you?" Allen asked in concern.

"Oh nothing. The love of my life just took my breath away, that's all. By all that's Bookman, I love the way he does things. It's just so sexy." The red head wheezed out and tried for a flirty smile, but it looked more like he was expecting a punch to the groin.

"Love of your life? Who is-? Oh." Allen deadpanned once he got it.

"Ravi," He started out patiently, "I love you as a friend, so I've been trying to let you down as nicely as possible-"

"Why can't you love the flirty, sexy, bunny that is moi?" Ravi mock sobbed.

"See that guy?" Allen said with a smile, pointing towards Cross who was downing his wine like the pro that he was.

"Yeah?"

"I see you becoming that in 10 years. That worries me." He admitted.

"Don't worry, Moyashi! I won't end up like that!" Ravi said cheerfully.

"Of course you won't." Allen said in an equally cheerful voice, "I plan to kill you the moment I see the changes."

"Heh-heh, Allen you have the best jokes." Ravi laughed nervously.

"Yeah, I do." Allen giggled. "Don't worry! I know lots of ways to quicken the process of a decomposing body! And even better places to stuff one! See you later Ravi!" The every happy Moyashi said as he closed the door behind him.

"General Cross, please tell me that that was just one big morbid joke." Ravi begged.

"That kid jokes? First I've heard of it. All he does is bitch at me." Cross shrugged.

"Oh?"

"Yes. For a while I wasn't certain if he was a girl or boy. Not like you can tell by how he acts." The man snorted in disdain.

"You thought Allen was secretly a girl?" Ravi asked trying to keep some rather interesting images from forming in his head.

"But then one night he fought an akuma and his shirt was destroyed." Cross had a faraway, haunted look on his face, like he was remembering a terrible memory. "I knew then and there I was dealing with a boy that would become very gay very quickly if something wasn't done soon."

"Really now?" Ravi asked disinterestedly. If Allen was gay, he sure was doing a good job at pretending he wasn't.

"It gave me an excuse to be surrounded by lots of women. I figured he's get addicted to them. He didn't, but the end result worked just as well."

"And that was?" Ravi questioned deciding to humor the General.

"I'm almost positive I turned him asexual. At the very least, he has a phobia towards sex." Cross cackled, loud and proud of his accomplishment while Ravi just stared on in horror.

"Allen thinks I'm going to become that in 10 years?" He muttered to himself, before wincing. "It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't see it myself."

Sweeney Todd: Quite possibly the one barber you never want to get a shave from.