Chapter 23
The whole family got together to go visit one of the nearby towns. Braemar was having a festival celebrating their quincentenary; five hundred years was a reason to celebrate. Living history, food, fun, games, pageantry, an open-air market, and many other things promised something for everyone.
When lunchtime rolled around, no one really wanted to sit down to eat, as they had all been sampling the fairs all morning. Kahlan, however, had something she needed to take care of. She disappeared and they all wondered what she was doing. Within five minutes she was back, an evil grin on her face and carrying a bag in her hand. She took the family to a picnic table and had them all sit down. While they had no idea what was going on, none of them objected.
Once Hotch had sat down, she placed the bag in front of him. He looked at her warily. "What's this?"
She giggled her evil giggle and ripped the bag open to reveal a paper tray with something steaming in it. "A deal's a deal."
Hotch looked down at the tray and he had to fight back the urge to throw up. "Really, Babe?"
The kids all leaned up to see what was in the tray. "What's that?" Jack asked and they could all see the disgust on his face.
"That, Jack, is haggis," Kahlan told him with a smile as Hotch's face lost of its all color.
"Ewwww. What is it?" Joey asked as she basically got up on the table to see it.
"Haggis is a mixture that contains sheep's heart, liver and lungs; minced with onion, oatmeal, sheep fat, spices, and salt mixed with stock and traditionally encased in a sheep's stomach and simmered for approximately three hours," Wyatt told her casually. With their looks, he explained. "After hearing about it at Aunt Emily's, I looked it up."
Joey looked on the verge of tears. "You're going to eat that, Daddy?"
"Thanks, Wyatt," Hotch told him dryly.
"Yes he is," Kahlan told Joey.
"That's gross!" Joey exclaimed and got up from her seat.
"I'm with Joey on that one, I'm not watching either," Cindi told them and got up. She took Joey's hand and they walked away from the table.
"Why would you want to eat that?" Rossi asked with disbelief.
"I don't want to, that's for sure," Hotch told him and then swallowed hard.
"What did you mean by 'deal'?" Jack asked Kahlan.
"Dad and I had a bet; he lost," Kahlan told him with a grin.
Jack and Wyatt both shot Hotch a look that said 'Really, you bet against Mom?' but they didn't say anything.
Kahlan scooted the tray closer to him and handed him a plastic fork. "Eat up."
"I was really hoping you had forgotten about that," Hotch told her as his stomach flipped.
"Not on your life," she told him with a grin and stuck the fork into the middle of the mound.
Hotch mouth flooded with saliva, not because he thought it was going to taste good; no, it flooded with saliva as a defense mechanism to protect the mouth form the acid in the stomach. He swallowed the excess drool and took a drink of his coffee.
"So is that one in an actual stomach?" Wyatt asked as he got closer to look at it.
Hotch's stomach lurched and he made like he was going to lose his breakfast. "Shut up, Wyatt!"
Wyatt and Jack shared a quick grin.
"We're waiting," Kahlan told him as she raised her brows.
Hotch took another long drink of his coffee as he stared her down. If looks could kill, she'd be dead. He took in a long slow breath, shook his head, grabbed the fork, and dug in. He shoveled a massive bite into his mouth and the boys cheered. His upper body jerked several times as chewed, but he swallowed it without having to run to the nearest trashcan, and they all clapped. He took another deep breath and took another bite.
After getting it all down, Rossi went and got him another cup of coffee and they started walking around again. "After I got past the disgusting thoughts in my head, it didn't taste extremely bad," Hotch confessed as he and Kahlan walked hand in hand.
"I can't believe you ate it all," she told him.
"A bets a bet," Hotch told her as he shrugged.
"The bet was to eat it, not to eat it all," she told him with a grin.
His eyes got wide as he considered her words. "Why you!" he started and she took off running, laughing the whole time. "Kahlan Lavonne Hotchner!" he yelled and took off after her. Everyone else laughed as they watched him chase her down.
She giggled as he half tackled her into a huge pile of hay. She squirmed to get away from him, but he got on top of her and held her arms down as he smiled deviously. She studied him as her eyes got big. "No!"
"Come on, Babe! Give me a kiss!"
"I am not kissing you after you ate that!"
"Yes you are!" he told her and then leaned down.
She tried to wiggle out of his grasp and turn her head, but he ended up planting a massive, slobbery kiss on her lips.
He got off of her and stood up as she coughed and gagged. "I can't believe you did that!" she yelled as she wiped her mouth off roughly.
"I can't believe you let me eat the whole thing!"
XXX
They made their way through the town to watch the jousting tournament. They all sat in the bleachers and picked out which night they would support. Once they realized Coll was the red knight, they cheered for him. He started out doing very well, but as he progressed through the tournament, he started facing harder and harder opponents. One burly, bearded man took him off his horse on the first pass.
After the tournament was over, they all went down to congratulate Coll on how well he did do, and he thanked them. "You should let the lad enter the ring contest," Coll suggested to Hotch and Kahlan.
"What's that?" Hotch asked pensively.
"It's where you use a lance to stab rings that are suspended from strings," Jack told him with a smile.
"From horseback?" Kahlan asked.
"Aye, and your lad is really good," Coll assured her and then looked at Hotch. "It not dangerous," he assured him.
Wyatt looked back and forth between the two, his face hopeful. Hotch chuckled. "Go. Show them what a Hotchner can do," Hotch told him as he patted him on the back.
"Yes!" Wyatt yelled as he and Jack ran to see where to sign up.
Angus ran up to Joey. "Macky is competing. You should come watch him," he told her with a grin.
Joey's eyes got big as she looked at her parents. Rossi laughed. "We'll take her," he told the couple as he held Cindi's hand.
"Go. Have fun," Kahlan told her and Joey grabbed her grandparents' hand and they followed Angus.
Hotch looked at Kahlan. "How is it that we try to spend time with the family and yet we always find ourselves alone?"
She laughed. "There's probably a contest you could get in," she suggested as she grabbed his hand and led him toward a line of colorful tents.
He huffed. "More like you. I somehow don't think there will be any shooting contests."
"Don't sell yourself short. I'm sure you would be amazing at anything you actually tried. Just because you've never done something, doesn't mean you wouldn't be good at it." He looked at her disbelievingly. "Please, you excel at everything you do!"
He shrugged. "It would fun to watch you best some of these big guys at one of their own games," he told her with a smile.
She huffed. "These guys practice this stuff all year. I wouldn't stand a chance."
"Now who's selling themselves short? I bet if there was a knife throwing contest you'd win the gold."
She shook her head. "I'm not that good."
He snorted. "Yeah, you're probably right. Anyone who can catch a knife thrown at her and then throw it back within a split second is probably way too rusty," he told her dryly.
"It's actually not as hard as you think it is. All it is, is timing."
He choked on a laugh. "Yeah, perfect timing."
She shrugged and he shook his head at her.
They walked around and Kahlan stopped at a blacksmith's stall. They watched as the massive man pounded on a sword he was making. Hotch watched Kahlan as she went around and looked at the items the blacksmith had for sell. He smiled as he noticed her eyes sparkling as she ran a hand over the various blades. The blacksmith moved the heated blade to a bucket of water and the hisses brought her attention back to him. He smiled at her and then went up to her. "Anything I can help you with, Miss?"
"I was just admiring your work," Kahlan told him politely.
"Thank you," he told her with a grin as he glanced at Hotch. Hotch joined his wife as she picked up a knife and examined it. The blacksmith smiled. "You know your blades."
Hotch looked at him questioningly and then looked at the knife in Kahlan's hand; it was plain compared to most of them on the table. "Why do you say that?"
The black smith gave him a knowing look and picked up a short knife from behind him. "Because she is drawn to the best made ones. Most people are drawn to the best looking ones," he told him as he handed the knife to Hotch.
Hotch took it an inspected it. "It's a lot lighter than I thought it would be," he confessed and then handed it to Kahlan.
Kahlan took the knife and smiled. "This is exquisite," she told him as she studied the black blade.
The blacksmith beamed. "It's one of my favorites. It's an alloy I made myself."
Kahlan flipped it in her hand. "Nicely balanced."
He nodded. "And sharper than a normal steel blade." Kahlan nodded as she studied the blade. "I don't care what anyone says. Nothing beats an old fashion honing."
Kahlan smiled as she handed it back to him. "Laser edging may be sharper, but they can't hold it for very long."
The blacksmith laughed. "Exactly."
"You really do have wonderful pieces," Kahlan told him with a smile and then started to move away.
Hotch looked at her and then back to the blacksmith. "Thank you," Hotch told him politely and they caught up with his wife. "You didn't want that?"
"No," she told him as she grabbed his hand.
"Why not?"
"Because I don't need it," she told him with a smile and then pulled him further down the line of stalls.
He shook his head. "You never buy yourself anything."
She put her arm around his waist. "Because I already have everything I could ever want."
He chuckled and then pulled her to a stop in front of a bakery. "I bet you might want something in here," he told her with a grin.
She looked through the window at the various sweets and sighed deeply. "I would get so fat if I lived near someplace like this."
He snorted. "Like that could ever happen," he told her as he opened the door for her.
"I don't want to go in there," she insisted. "You know I have no willpower when it comes to sweets."
He chuckled and pulled her through the door. "I know."
"You are mean," she told him.
They emerged a few minutes later and Hotch laughed at her. "You have powder sugar on your nose," he told her and reached over with a napkin to wipe it off.
She reached over and dusted his shirt off. "You have it all over you, too." She smiled as she took another bite of the pastry. "These are sinful."
Hotch laughed. "And a hell of a lot better tasting than haggis," he told her quietly.
She giggled.
Hotch's phone vibrated and a text from Jack told them that Wyatt's turn was coming up, so they made their way over to the bleachers again to cheer for their son.
Wyatt impressed everyone when he snagged all of the rings in round one without any difficulty. Each round found the rings placed in more difficult places, and Wyatt made it to the fourth round before he missed one. Everyone missed one, though, so he advanced to the final round.
Hotch watched as Kahlan nervously sat on the edge of her seat awaiting Wyatt's turn. Three people went before him; two men and a young man, all much older than Wyatt and local to boot. The first man missed three, the second man missed four, and the young man only missed two. Coll's horse danced under Wyatt as it waited for the signal to go, and when Wyatt's legs squeezed him, he reared up in excitement.
Hotch's stomach flipped as he thought Wyatt might fall off, but he held on and readied the lance. By the time Wyatt had reached the end of the run, five rings stuck on his lance and the crowd went wild. One more competitor after Wyatt missed one ring making Wyatt the champion, and Hotch, Kahlan, Jack, ran down to congratulate him.
When Wyatt went up to receive his trophy, the honorary princess of the festival gave him a kiss on the cheek, and Hotch laughed at how red Wyatt turned. He returned to his parents still embarrassed but proudly displaying the small colorful lance that proved his victory. Coll had joined them, too, and he clasped Wyatt on the back. "I knew you were good. If you lived here and trained you could take all the trophies," he told him proudly.
"It's just because you're such a great teacher," Wyatt told him.
Hotch shot Kahlan a grin and she smiled.
After they met back up with Joey and them, the girls left the boys with plans to meet up later because the girls wanted to browse the market. Hotch and Rossi took the boys to watch a sword competition, but Hotch left them to do some exploring on his own.
After an hour or so, they all met back up and Joey told the boys about the banquet the town was having and all of the kids begged the adults to attend. "It's going to be just like the Middle Ages! They're not even going to have silverware!" Joey told them excitedly.
"We get to eat with our hands?" Wyatt asked and Joey nodded enthusiastically.
"But you can't go in unless you're dressed in period costume," Cindi told them. "But they have a wide variety available to choose from."
Hotch shot Kahlan a look and she laughed.
"Please, Daddy!" Joey pleaded with her puppy dog eyes. Kahlan giggled because she knew Hotch could never say no to her when she did that.
He shook his head and then looked at his wife. "I am not wearing tights!"
The kids erupted in cheers as Kahlan shook her head at him. "They didn't wear tights in the Middle Ages. That's more like the Renaissance."
"Oh," Hotch said as he followed the kids.
She leaned in close to him. "Although, you would even look hot in tights!"
He balked at the thought.
"They wore things like long underwear under their armor, but other than that, it was normal kinds of clothes," she explained to him.
They reached the tents offering the costumes and Hotch looked at Kahlan. "I guess you want to pick it out?"
"Please," she asked as she gave him her pouty face.
He laughed. "Go ahead," he told her and she started searching through them. "But I will not be a jester!" he insisted when he saw her pause by a loud costume.
She gave him a weird look. "Never. You are way too serious to pull that off anyway."
Within no time, they were dressed and headed into the large banquet hall, but not before Kahlan had them all pause for a family picture.
After dinner of traditional foods that consisted of a lot of different meats and breads and entertainment mixed with a lot of laughter and messy hands, they changed and headed back to the castle. Hotch noticed several bags in the back of the SUV, and he laughed at the girls' shopping habits. Once they got back to the castle, the kids talked Hotch and Kahlan into going horseback riding.
After about an hour of that, it was getting dark, so they headed back. Kahlan complained of being cold, so Hotch suggested she go in and warm herself by a fire and he would take care of getting her horse put away, so she accepted and told the kids goodnight with kisses and hugs.
*new pics on the 'Hotchner Family Vacation' page on the website. the tales of hoffer. com (no spaces)