In Which Jack is VERY TIRED of Everyone's Stupidity.
"Ow! Seriously what-!" Jack goes tumbling head first into a pile of flowers as the hole that had -suddenly opened under him what the HELL- closes again. He manages to push himself back into a sitting position just in time to see his staff carried off by a bunch of fairies.
"Hey! What!?" He yells after him as they flutter off. "You guys again!? You puffballs stopped being cute so long ago! Where am I?!"
Everything is green; it's all light and green and warm and it's all very pretty but he'd really rather be back in Pitch's dank little hole in the ground.
There's the sharp scrape of stone to his side and he looks up and there is a giant stone egg on legs and this is all officially too much for him. He scrambles backwards and yelps when his back hits damp, mossy wood.
"Easy mate easy! They're not gonna hurt you. Just makin' sure you don't go flyin' off too soon is all."
Jack stares up at the….rabbit…it's a giant rabbit. "What."
The rabbit smiles tentatively in a way that is probably supposed to be comforting. It's really not.
Jack frowns, thinking. "Wait…no…oh my God. You're the Easter Bunny." He's starting to feel a little hysterical because NOTHING is making sense right now. "Why are you the Easter Bunny?! And why am I here?"
The rabbit, The Easter Bunny, stares at him, looking mildly horrified for some reason as he sucks a breath in through his teeth. "Crikey Tooth...you were right."
Tooth? Tooth! He whips his head around at the sound of whistling wings as Toothiana flutters up to hover right behind the rabbits shoulder. She's smiling, technically, but it's tense and strained and her hands are clasped tightly in front of her.
"Hello again Jack, sorry about all this. I just thought we should have a little talk. And I never got a chance to...thank you for helping me." She frowns, feathers ruffling briefly. "Even though you stopped helping pretty quick."
Jack blinks, this is quickly becoming the official Weirdest Day of his Life.
"Wow. Ok. Hi there Bird. I'm not gonna lie, I really was hoping to not ever see you again?"
She fluffs up at that and there's a flurry of enraged squeaking behind her from the small group of fairies that STILL have Jack's staff. Tooth holds up a dainty hand and they go quiet, though it looks like several of them are seriously thinking of taking out Jack's eyes. The rabbit is frowning now too, and WOW these people are tense.
Tooth clears her throat, feathers sleeking down again. "Jack, I know we've had our differences." He snorts and she shoots him a look but continues. "But...we're just...worried."
"Kid what the hell are you doing hanging around Pitch Black for?" The rabbit interrupts. "And more importantly, how the hell did he convince you to let him stick his tongue down your throat?"
Both of them look a little ill at that and Jack feels his face turning pink. He's going to have a TALK with Pitch about public displays of affection later if this is what happens.
"Ok ,so first of all," he holds up a finger, scowling at the two idiots in front of him, "not a kid. Second of all, he didn't talk me into anything, I joined him on my own. And THIRD of all that is none of your business, Cottontail!"
"Name's Bunnymund, kid," Cottontail grits out, "and how old are you anyway?"
Jack puffs and scowls, "I don't know? Something around a hundred and eighty? Close to two hundred!"
He isn't sure why the overgrown hopper cares or what reaction he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't for the rabbits ears to flatten back and his eyes to widen in horror. "Bloody HELL Pitch..." he mutters, looking again like he was about to be sick. Jack is just done with this. He's sitting here being interrogated by a nosey bird and a cranky rabbit, there's dew soaking into his pants and his staff is being held captive by a bunch of glaring squeakers.
He was not impressed by any of this. At all.
"Is there a point to this? I'd rather get back before Pitch figures out I'm gone, he's kinda dramatic." He ignores their flummoxed stares and continues, "And aren't there supposed to be more of you?"
The rabbit looks like he's still trying to figure out why Jack wants to go back but Tooth recovers first, still looking at him like he grew an extra head. "It's close to Christmas I'm afraid and Sandy is always busy...we can't all really gather unless it's something that threatens everyone. But," Her determined face returns and Jack really does not know why these idiots are so stubborn about this, "they both agree with what we're doing!"
"So I'm stuck in an intervention with a spastic bird and cranky fur-ball is what you're saying?"
That apparently snaps said fur-ball back into the present and he glowers at Jack, advancing menacingly, "Now listen here you little brat-"
Tooth quickly puts herself between them, frowning as she holds Cottontail back with one hand. "Jack, look, we're just...concerned. You're not a bad person! What you did for me at the Palace-"
"Woah now that was definitely NOT for you-"
"But it was for the KIDS, Jack!"
Jack glares at her, he doesn't really want to talk about this and especially not with these guys. "I know Pitch isn't the nicest guy ok! But he does what he's MEANT to do! Yeah he gets some really stupid ideas but it's all because he feels like he has to go all out or fade away into nothing! And you all should really be THANKING me instead of trying to talk me out of this! Do you even realize how many of his stupid 'take over everything' schemes I've had to derail! And that's SINCE his little stunt at the Tooth Palace! Now seriously! Can I get back before he notices that I'm gone and this gets ten times more stupid than it already is?!"
The rabbit looks exasperated and GOOD because he's not the only one. "Kid!" he yells, looking like he's at his wits end, "I don't know what the hell you think is going on with you two but Pitch Black does. not. care! That bastard doesn't care about anything but his own ambitions! He's using you kid! He doesn't-"
It's then that everything goes dark. It's like someone suddenly blew the sun out. The air is heavy and filled with distant and growing whispers promising destruction and terror. Every feather and every hair on the two Guardians goes up on end as the hissing grows louder.
"Great" Jack groans, "now look what you've done."
Areas of shadow thicken, coalescing into a roiling, towering storm of darkness. Jack can only pick out the Nightmares by their bright, brimstone eyes and he can just make out the silhouette of Pitch in the front of it all. His only discernible features are two burning, yellow eyes and rows of silver teeth bared in a snarl. That, and the long, deadly scythe clutched in his bony hand.
The Guardians quickly move between the two, putting Jack behind them as they draw their weapons against the swarming mass and...what? Jack blinks. They are seriously moving to protect him and isn't that just precious.
"You guys are really...dumb" he says, standing up and brushing bits of grass off his cloak.
"Look, kid," Cottontail growls, "I'm pretty sure I don't actually like you,"
"Names Jack, Cottontail."
Cottontail grits his teeth and adjusts his grip on the boomerang like he's seriously considering just wanging it over Jack's head. "Alright, I know I don't like you. But would you just shut up and-"
" YOU'VE TAKEN WHAT'S MINE FOR THE LAST TIME RABBIT!"
Pitch's voice is the crumbling of mountains and the screaming of dying worlds.
"Drama King" Jack mutters. In all the chaos he manages to dodge the eggs and Guardians and grab his staff, shaking off the squealing fairies. He sets his jaw and strides towards the mass of Nightmares, ignoring the yells of "KID!" and "Jack! No!" because he is just really tired of all the stupid that's going around.
He finally reaches Pitch and crosses his arms, glaring up into the endless shadow. Pitch is so caught up in his little hissy fit that he doesn't even NOTICE the boy standing in front of him.
"I'LL RIP EVERY BIT OF YOUR PRECIOUS HOPE FROM THIS WORLD. THERE WON'T BE ANYTHING LEFT FOR YOU TO LIGHT WHEN I'M FINISHED. YOU GIVE ME BACK WHAT BELONGS TO ME NOW BEF-"
"Hey! Calm down! I'm fine!" There's a pause, then a sudden rush as the shadows swoop in on Jack. There are hands running over his face and down his sides and through his hair as if making sure every bit of him is present and accounted for. Pitch's face shifts back to it's normal glower while his eyes dart over Jack, checking for damage.
"Jack!" Thank GOD he's talking normally now, Jack's ears were starting to hurt. "What did they do to you?" Claws prick at Jacks skin as fingers dig into Jack's shoulders and Pitch pulls him in, voice a dangerous hiss. "I'll destroy them for this! I swear it! I'll-"
"Hey! No need for that! Shoosh!" Jack puts a soothing hand on Pitch's chest, half hoping that he can just force some reason into the guy by sheer force of will. "Stop that! I'm ok, we were just having a little chat alright? They're just dumb and we don't need to go destroying everything. They brought me here to have a little talk and it's not their fault that they're stupid and went about it stupidly. It's ok."
Pitch narrows his eyes and shoots a quick, deadly look up at the Guardians. But the shadows begin pulling back and light slowly leaks into the warren again as the Nightmares settle and reform. His fingers tighten into Jack's shoulders again and reel him in, ignoring the indignant "oof!" as he clutches the boy to him.
Jack is somehow able to move his head so his face is completely crushed against Pitch's chest and he manages a wheezed "I can't breathe you big lug!"
He's promptly ignored and rolls his eyes with a huff, allowing Pitch to squeeze every bit of life out of him. He has a feeling he's not going to be allowed out of grabbing distance for at least a month. His fears are confirmed when a hand begins aggressively running through his hair as Pitch snarls at the shocked Guardians.
"If any of you even THINK about touching him again-"
"Yes, I'm sure they get it! You'll flay them alive and ruin all their happy dreams and cover the world in darkness blah blah blah! Can we go home now? This day has just been an endless train of idiocy, INCLUDING YOU, and I am sick of it."
Pitch quiets, though he lets out one last rumbling growl before he spits out a "Fine!"
He yanks Jack in and both disappear in a whirling rush of shadow and Nightmares.