I walked down to the beach feeling sorry for myself. I knew that I had been harsher than I needed to be with Bella, but it was like a switch had been flipped. Apparently I was still sensitive about her past with my brother, and even with finally knowing they had never been together the way that she and I had, I was worried that I would always feel jealous.

I knew I needed to cool off before going back, so I walked around aimlessly for a while, trying to figure out why I had snapped so badly. Jealousy wasn't the only thing fueling me, I could see that now. I still had this crippling insecurity when it came to Bella. It didn't make sense, I knew that. I was older now, successful; women told me I was attractive. But somehow I had put her up on an unattainable pedestal over the years, making her my ideal. She had always been the one I couldn't have, the one I had to stay away from. I had convinced myself I was wrong to want her, that it wasn't right. I didn't feel worthy of her… I couldn't believe she would have me.

Being with her all day had made me begin to hope that I could get past all that… that we might really have a chance together… that she might actually be happy with me. However, seeing her talking to Jasper just made everything come boiling to the surface. In that moment, it really did feel like she was hiding me out of shame… that she was embarrassed of me.

I thought back on everything Bella had said, knowing she was right. I had flown off the handle because of my own issues, not hers. I should have talked with her calmly about my concerns if it was bothering me, not yelled and stormed out.

Oh, God… I accused her of still wanting Jasper.

I hadn't lost my temper like that in a very long time. That was proof enough that this had been an extremely sore subject for me. How would I make this right? I didn't want her to think I was like this all the time. It was clear that I had some shit to work out, but I didn't want to lose Bella over it in the process.

Suddenly the need to see Bella and apologize trumped any residual jealousy or anger I might have felt. I ran back to the room, hoping that she would give me the chance to explain myself.

If that didn't work, I certainly wasn't above begging.

"Bella?" I called out as I walked in the room. There was no answer. I walked to the bathroom and looked around. Nothing.

I walked back out to where our luggage had been with a sinking feeling in my stomach.

All of her bags were gone.

I looked at the bedside table and saw that my phone was sitting there alone now, next to what appeared to be a letter.

I reached out with shaking fingers to pick it up, noticing my name scrawled across the front of the folded paper. I sat down on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath, willing myself to open it.

As I watched the crinkled paper slowly open, I felt my heart clench painfully.

Edward,

I'm sorry that things had to end this way. I thought we were having a lovely time, but apparently you would prefer to end things between us with anger and jealousy rather than talking to me like an adult. I understand if things might still feel awkward in our situation, but there was no reason we couldn't have talked it through.

As for your ridiculous accusations regarding Jasper, I don't personally think they deserve any response. I realize that you spoke in anger, but you hurt me by even the mere suggestion that I would settle for anyone or use you as a replacement. Let me make this loud and clear: I DON'T SLEEP AROUND. EVER! You do NOT get to say certain things to me; I don't care how pissed or sad you are, or whatever the hell you're feeling.

What happened between us was something beautiful that I usually wait much longer to share with someone who really matters to me. It's been a very long time since I have found anyone special enough.

I thought I had found something special in you, something more special than anyone else I've ever met in my entire life.

I guess I was wrong.

And that was it. She didn't even sign it. I guess I should have been happy there wasn't a 'Fuck you, asshole' or 'Don't ever talk to me again'… but I wasn't. I was ashamed.

I had taken the one thing most precious to me and crushed it with a few thoughtless words.

The only thing I wanted at that moment was Bella back in my arms, and I knew it wasn't going to be easy, if not damn near impossible. I also knew that I was going to need help.

I grabbed my phone and hit one of my speed dial presets. After the third ring it picked up.

"Hey, man! Does this mean you got your phone back?"

"Jasper? I need your help."

His tone became serious immediately. "What's wrong?"

"I fucked up."

There was a long pause on the other end before he sighed loudly. "You did something to Bella, didn't you?"

"What? How did you—?"

"Oh please, Edward. I'm not fucking stupid. I knew she sounded weird earlier. Switched phones, my ass. You were sitting right there in bed with her, weren't you?"

"That's… private."

"I'll take that as a yes," he laughed.

"This is serious!"

"I'm sorry, you're right. You said you fucked up. What happened?"

I proceeded to tell him a little about the argument after the phone call and the way I stormed out. I explained that I had only left to cool off, but that she was gone by the time I returned and had left me a letter. I didn't read it verbatim, but I gave him the gist of how upset she was.

"Wow… you weren't kidding. You really did fuck up."

"Jas, that's not helping."

"I'm sorry; I'm not trying to tease you. I just can't believe you acted like that. It's not like you to blow up in that manner. What brought this on? And while I'm at it… why are you telling me any of this?"

"I don't know," I grumbled, running my hands through my hair. "I just… needed to talk to someone about it and I thought you should know anyway, since it started over your call. Plus, you dated her for three years! Do you think I have a chance here?"

"You're really serious, aren't you?"

"As a heart attack."

"You've always had a thing for her, haven't you?"

"Yes," I choked out. "Not when she was really young, but it got worse near the end."

"I knew it!" he laughed. "You always acted differently when she was around. I had my suspicions, but I thought I was just being paranoid."

"I never made a move on her or anything, if that's what you're thinking."

"No, I didn't think you had. So, tell me… why did my call stir all of this up? Did you actually think I would try to get back together with her?"

"To be honest, I wasn't even thinking about your motivation. I was too busy being fixated on hers. Apparently I have some residual jealousy about you two… I accused her of wanting you and settling for me."

"Jesus Christ, Edward, when did you become such a dick? How could you talk to her like that?"

"I don't know," I groaned. "I wasn't thinking. But I am now, and all I know is that I need to get her back."

"Well… if you are being sincere, you just might have a chance. You might want to give her some time, though. Also, you're going to have to go at her with more than a few 'I'm sorrys'. If you are serious, you're going to have to be able to prove it."

"I'm gonna do everything in my power to make her believe me. Thank you, Jasper."

"My pleasure. Next time, don't be such a shithead and you won't get into these messes."

"Duly noted."

"Oh, and Edward? Just in case you get any wild ideas again that I'm going to show up out of nowhere and steal her back, I was calling earlier to tell you that I finally proposed to Alice. I have no interest in your dream girl… I've got my own."

"That's great, man. I'm happy for you. Thanks again."

As soon as we ended our call, I was on the phone with the airport trying to set up arrangements to get back home. I had no idea how Bella was getting there, and that made me feel terrible, but I knew that the faster I could get to DC, the faster I could get the ball rolling.