"AYATO NO!"
"FLATASS YES!"
"FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I DO HAVE A BOOTYOHSHIT!" No matter how hard I was struggling against him, Ayato still managed to throw me into the pool. Right into the middle of it. How on earth did I end up in this situation? It all started in the vampire morning...

"Hey guys, can you swim?" I asked out of blue while we were eating breakfast. I knew that dense things sank really fast, so a thought popped up in the shower. I mean, these guys might be oblivious to human needs and what it takes for a human to survive and no matter what I told Reiji, he sill didn't understand that I hated frickin' onions! 'It's healthy.' he said. 'It gives you essential vitamins and nutrients.' he added . He didn't understand anything! Oh right, the pool thing.

"Of course we can swim, you stupid human being. What do you take us for?" And Kanato was already holding a fork...
"Nfu~ Bitch-chan wants to have a date on the beach~ And probably something else~ on~ the~ beach~" He winked.

"Laito no! I just had this weird thought that you wouldn't like swimming around, or getting almost nude in public."
"I beg you pardon!" Laito stood up.
"I'm not talking about you - I'm talking about Reiji, Kanato and Subaru. I can't imagine you three swimming around." Especially Reiji, since I've seen him almost nude, but non-responsive to the world. That image was burned deep into my unconsciousness and no amount of chocolate almond milk could erase it! Believe me - I've tried.

"So you basically don't want to see us naked, right?" Shuu narrowed his eyes.
"Exactly." I took a bite of my apple.
"Do you like swimming yourself?" Ayato slithered closer to my chair. I knew better than to reveal my weakness.

"Of course I do! I take showers all the time!" I smirked, already seeing the headache Reiji was about to get from my stupidity.
"He asked if you could drown, you imbecile!" But it was Kanato who snapped at me.

"Of course I can drown! I can't swim! Oh snap... I just can't keep my mouth shut..."
"Interesting," Ayato smirked. "Reiji, I need to run an experiment. It's for school."
"This is a first time you asked for any kind of permission from me-"
"It's not a request, it's a statement." Ayato was slowly creeping towards me like a predator towards its prey.

"Bitch-chan, do you like running?" Laito took a bite of a cookie.
"I don't..."
"Too bad~ Where was my camera again..?" He took out his phone.
"Why do you need a camera..? Oh shit..." I saw it in Ayato's eyes - he was going to give me one hell of a bath and soon, so I had to do something... I had to start loving cardio and now!

"Ayato no..." I stood up, already backing away from the predator.

"Ore-sama yes!" His fangs sparkled in the light of fake candles. And I ran for it. I ran like a girl from Scream. I ran as if my life depended on it. I ran and ran and hit somebody and fell down and...

"Time for the swim." ...and got caught. This is how I got into this situation that my lies brought upon me. Right before I felt Ayato letting go of me, I took the deepest breath possible. And then I felt it - water all around me, but I didn't panic. No. I let my body sink down to the bottom of the pool.

So they were rich enough to own it indoors, huh? I wasn't afraid, I wasn't a little bundle of panic. No. I could swim and it wasn't just a simple kicking around in the water, oh no. I was like a fish in there! Swimming was in my veins. I was like Haruka Nanase, but I purposely lead Ayato and the others into believing that I couldn't swim.

I couldn't blame them for thinking that way. I mean, I can't do basically anything and it wouldn't be a surprise if I couldn't swim. So I just stayed at the bottom of the pool, slowly moving my hands and feet to stay there. I could hold my breath for more than two minutes if needed. Now, let's see who's going to jump to my rescue. And now it was time to let out some bubbles.

Meanwhile

"Ayato-kun~, where's Bitch-chan? That splash was quite a while ago."
"I've noticed."
"And she hasn't showed up yet?" Subaru raised his eyebrow.
"Doesn't seem like it," Ayato muttered.
"And you threw her suddenly, with quite an amount of force and on top of that - fully clothed," Reiji fixed his glasses.
"Yes," Ayato laughed bemused.

"And you are standing around like an idiot who's about to bring severe punishment upon us because..?" Kanato asked with voice as sweet as an ice-cream scoop.

"Because she's just fooling around. If she was really drowning there would be bubbles or some shit!" Ayato snapped at his brothers.

"And aren't those bubbles?" Shuu grumbled.
"Oh, this short movie is going to be just adorable! I will name it 'Bitch-chanic, or how my brother proved to be an idiot~'."
"This name is too long! And why don't you jump in to save her yourselves?!" Ayato yelled at his brothers, already reluctantly taking off his shoes.

"It's like she said - I hate swimming," Reiji crossed his arms.

"You created this mess - you take care of it." Subaru leaned against a wall.
"Okay fine." Ayato took a huge gulp of air just in case she desperately needed for oxygen and dove head first into the pool.

One long minute later

I heard a distant splash. So they finally decided to save me! Good. I slowly turned around to face the bottom of the pool. I could feel water's movement as somebody was getting closer to me. Just a little bit longer and I felt someone's hands on my shoulders. Time! I hit that person with my elbow using all of my strength. It felt quite hard, so I guess I hit his belly. Those guys had abs to be jealous of! All of them! Even Shuu! But who did I hit?

I heard bubbles coming out of his mouth and when I turned around - I saw Ayato's furious, twisted in pain face. I smirked. Served him right. I spend enough time underwater to already feel the burn in my lungs. I should get out of here and fast. When I started to swim away from Ayato, I noticed that he wasn't moving an inch from the spot I hit him. It was quite the opposite - he was slowly sinking down.

I wanted to leave him there, but my good nature won over me. I just had to check up on him, so I got closer to Ayato, but his eyes were closed. Did I knock him out?! But he was conscious just a few moments ago! WHAT THE HELL?! I had no time to swim around in confusion. I grabbed him by his jacket and swam towards the surface. It was quite hard, but I managed.

I gasped in relief as I finally emerged from water, but I had no time to enjoy sweet oxygen - I had one annoying vampire to save.
"What... are... you... standing around... for?!" I screamed at dumbfounded brothers. "Your brother is... literally drowning! Pull him out!"

My weak hands could only hold him so much. Subaru was the first one to finally snap out of his daze. He dashed towards us, grabbed Ayato, first by his hair then by his clothes and pulled him out.

"How on earth..."
"What the hell happened?!"
"Why is Ayato's nose bleeding?" His nose was bleeding? That wasn't his belly then... So many questions and so little energy left to answer them.
"If you were kind enough to get me out of this place, I would answer your questions." Reiji was the one who gave me his hand.

"Yeah... Remember that part where I said I couldn't swim? That was a lie... I was actually trained by a professional swimmer for one year when I was little." I was sitting near Ayato's unconscious body. Reiji said he should wake up. Hopefully...
"Thanks to that, I now have a perfect present for Ayato! Thank you, Bitch-chan~!"
"Yeah yeah, whatever."

"But I don't get it, how did he-"
"I knocked him out. It was quite easy actually," Giggle slipped out of my lips. Subaru's mouth hung wide open.
"Just what are you?"
"A human girl who has powerful destructive force deep within her, so you better be careful."

"Oh... my head..." We all turned to see Ayato slowly trying to sit up.
"What happened..?" Poor vampire blinked a couple of times in confusion.
"Well, she beat you up underwater and then saved your sorry ass. The end."
"Those are all lies!" Ayato jumped up.
"Think what you want." I stood up, already prepared to run for it again, even though my legs were shacking from all that running from before. I really sucked at cardio.

"But you can't swim!" Ayato shook me by my shoulders.

"Fun fact - all dogs can swim, right?" Ayato narrowed his eyes, waiting for me to continue. "I'm Bitch-chan, remember?" I smacked his hands away and walked out to change into a swimming suit. As I walked further and further away from the pool, Ayato's voice got more and more furious as he was reacting to Laito's new short movie.
"THAT BITCH!" Heh... Oh yeah I am.

I reached my disgustingly pink room with water dripping all over the floor. Randy, the disappearing butler, was going to have so much fun cleaning this mess. Ah, my new and improved underwear wardrobe... It was stuffed with swimming suits... I know, swimming suits and underwear showed the same amount of skin and everything, but... I just couldn't stomach them ripping my clothes apart to reveal my undies. So I switched to swimming suits...

Then why the hell did I come all this way here to my room?!

The towel, right. I grabbed the biggest one, took off my clothes, wrapped that fluffy heaven around myself and headed towards the pool. I just found out that they had a pool and I was going to use it. I'm going to enjoy it as much as they enjoyed sucking the living out of me. Soft sound of my bare feet hitting the tiles were echoing through an enormous room. I haven't noticed it before, but that pool was damn huge.

"Oh, Bitch-chan was brave enough to show up! And naked, on top of that~ I will skinny-dip with you." Laito threw his fedora onto the couch that was occupied by drenched Ayato. I let my towel slip away from my body.
"Too bad, big boy. I'm not in my Eve's costume."
"Nfu~ just give me five seconds to fix this problem." Laito threw away his jacket and took a few steps towards me.

"I've already seen what's underneath all that," Ayato muttered, "There's nothing there, trust me. She's as flat as these tiles," Ayato sounded as interested in this conversation as Laito would be interested in celibacy wows.

"Man, I bet you stayed up all night thinking this up," I mumbled. Oh! They even had a springboard! I've always wanted to try it out!
"Are you that stupid? We are vampires - we already stay up all night-"

"Thinking up the flat chest insults. Your existence must be really fulfilling." And time for me to disappear from Ayato's rage.
"What's up with this commotion again?" Poor Reiji entered just to be showered from head to toe by my enormous tsunami splash. I swam underwater as far as I could. This time I heard soft splashes of someone swimming. Perfect.

My brother and I were similar in so many ways, but one thing was different. I was a great swimer, while he struggled to stay on the surface just for two minutes. He hated diving, hated swimming underwater and on top of that - despised surprises. So I created a special move of mine. A special attack, that I used to surprise my prey with. I called it 'The crocodile'. Time to use this one. Evil smirk crept towards my lips, creating a terrific underwater grimace from the darkest pits of hell.

My victim was blurry, so I didn't know who exactly that was, but boy was I hoping it was Ayato again! I stayed at the bottom of the pool, swimming like a mermaid. I could literally hear Jaw's theme song. My target was at the surface and I was hidden in the deepness and darkness. When I was close to being right under my unsuspecting victim, I pushed myself towards him. Hard floor of the pool was perfect to kick off from. I was moving towards him with great speed and force and when I was about to collide with him, I spread my arms and jumped to the surface.

"WHALE!" I screeched out as I grabbed screaming Laito. Poor terrified boy was still letting out bubbles as I pulled him towards the bottom. I didn't think it would be this easy, but I guess they couldn't use their superior strength as effectively as they would be able to on a solid surface. This was the first time I actually liked physical laws. But then I felt a tug. It was strong enough to stop me. I turned around to face Laito's.. blushing face?

Of course, the colour of his skin wasn't that obvious, but it was his expression that made me swim for my life... Or for my swimming suit... I ripped my hand out of his and swam as fast as I could, but I wasn't frantic. I knew better than to waste oxygen on panic. But Laito caught me by my ankle and pulled me towards him. Vain boy he was. I kicked the only part of his body with clothes. Yes. I kicked Laito right in his speedos. Right in the softest part. Right in the set of his pride. Right in... Well you know what I mean.

More bubbles left his mouth as he curled up into a ball. I felt a weird sense of Déjà vu. I felt the familiar need to breathe in and, yet again, I couldn't leave anyone to drown... I'll have to ask Reiji if vampires could actually drown. Since Laito was basically naked and his hands were tightly protecting his damaged manhood, I had no other choice put to grab him by his leg.

"And here!" I stuck my head to the surface, "Ayato, I fetched your brother! Throw in Kanato and we'll have a complete triplets set!"
"So you seriously... I was... You were..."
"Ayato, I don't think that this ball in my hands has any time for your existential crisis!" This time Ayato was the one to help me.

And this was a day when I found out three important things. Number one - Sakamaki brothers had a pool. Number two - my skills were awesome. And number three - I could beat them up in water.