Chapter 7 – Opening Up

The day started out like every other Wednesday; Edward ignored me at school, and then the moment we met at my truck that afternoon we joked and laughed like old friends. But when we began to work on our project however, Edward's playfully light demeanor suddenly darkened.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing…I was just thinking about something," he said as he stared up at our slightly morbid looking skeleton of a statue.

"What?" I asked, not really thinking he'd answer.

He took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. "My father was an artist," he told me quietly. "He used to do these big murals on my bedroom wall when I was little…I remember thinking he was magic or something."

"Where are your parents now?" I asked hesitantly, still thinking he'd close down. He had already said more than I ever expected from him, so I certainly wasn't hoping for more.

He pressed his lips, and then glanced down at the ground before looking around the room as if he was searching for a way to escape. But suddenly he sighed…

"My parents always used to fight…I don't remember a night where they weren't screaming at each other…But, that was normal and I didn't know any different. My dad…he was the type where he never wanted to get a real job because it would cut into his artistic time, but he was still incredibly controlling and was always on my mom's case about every cent she'd spend. She was quite a bit younger than him; maybe that's why he thought he could boss her around so much.….We'd go weeks without being able to afford groceries, and then one day, after she got that month's financial aid check, she decided to go out and buy me some milk so I could have cereal the following morning….but she never came home."

"Oh my god, did she get into a car accident?" I asked horrified, thinking about my own mother.

He shook his head. "No…as far as I know, she's still out there somewhere…living her life. She just had enough and didn't want the responsibility of having a family anymore."

"How old where you?" I asked while trying to ignore the churning in my stomach. What the hell kind of mother would just abandon her child like that?

"Eight," he told me. "And regardless of my parent's relationship, my dad was devastated that she left. He really loved her and never thought she'd actually walk out on us like that. With her gone, he just got…angry. He started drinking. At times he blamed me for her absence. - 'If you would have been a better kid, she would have stayed' – Shit like that."

"That…sucks," I said, unsure what else to say.

"Yeah well, it could have been worse...It could always be worse."

"Where is he now?"

"He put a gun in his mouth when I was eleven. It wasn't the best scene to walk into after school."

I gasped. "Oh my god…You're the one who found him? That's horrible."

He shrugged.

"So…so you didn't have any other family you could have lived with?"

"Not really. I stayed with my grandma for a bit, but she died too and no one else wanted that kind of responsibility."

As appreciative as I was that he was opening up about something so personal, I wondered what convinced him to do so right then. "Edward, why are you telling me this?" I asked carefully.

He took another deep breath. "You told me about your mom, so…" he let his sentence trail off.

"Why do you ignore me at school?" I asked quietly.

He went over to the chair on the other side of our statue, and sat. I unconsciously took a few steps closer to him to wait for his answer, but it put us in a strange position where he was looking up at me; strangely enough, it almost felt like that was his intention. This was his apology…

"I used to do the whole 'popular' thing. I went to every party…dated my way through the cheer squads making them all turn on each other. It was all a game. I actually enjoyed the fact that I had to move around to different foster homes so much because I'd get bored quickly and was always ready for a new school to conquer. I never wanted to form any kind of long term relationships…"

"Because you didn't want to get hurt?" I asked, thinking about the way his mother abandoned him.

"I don't know, I guess…I never really analyzed it."

"Well, what changed? You're definitely not trying to conquer the popular crowd here, in fact, most of them are scared shitless of you," I said with a little laugh.

"Yeah, some of the rumors about me are pretty fucking hilarious. To tell you the truth, I've never been in such a small school before; it's like landing on a different planet."

"So…you're just uncomfortable here?"

"Not exactly." He scratched his head. "When I first got into town at the beginning of summer, I immediately started in on my normal shit. I talked crap to the Cullens, I picked fights with Emmett and Alice, I snuck out at all hours of the night, and I'd steal Carlisle's alcohol. I didn't really expect to stay long, but Carlisle and Esme are pretty stubborn. The harder I pushed, the tighter they'd hold on. And then, after a few weeks of my moronic behavior, I did something I thought was unforgivable….but they forgave me anyway and even helped me get through it, and I realized that none of it was worth it."

I thought about asking him what he did, but we were making remarkable progress and I feared acknowledging his 'unforgivable' act would only put me on edge, and I definitely didn't want that. I also considered asking him about his recent freak-out over me being alone after dark, but instead I decided to get back to my original question. "But what does that have to do with ignoring me at school?"

"Look, high school girls are like moths. They'll fly to anything they think is light. I can't even tell you how many girls hit on me during my first week of school, and I just...didn't want any part of it. Last year I probably would have loved the attention, but that's just not me anymore."

I wanted to snicker by his 'moth' comment since I remembered using a similar analogy for people, but I still didn't understand his issue with me. Thankfully he explained…

"The first conversation you and I had, I got the impression that you were just like them," he told me. "The way you talked and twirled your hair…it was just all so predictable, and honestly, annoying."

"So, all this time you judged me on that first meeting?" I asked incredulously. "Even after we spent that day together hiking, you still refused to consider that I was different?"

"I didn't want any friends. I didn't want to connect with you more than necessary, and I certainly didn't want anyone at school to think we were friends."

"Why not?"

"Bella, this is a small town. You know everyone. I have this…reputation here of being weird and I'm more than fine by that, that's what I wanted, but if people see you around me they're either going to think that I'm not as weird as I pretend to be, or that you're weirder than anyone ever thought."

"I really don't care what people think of me," I said honestly. "I used to do the popular thing too, but then…" I paused. "Then I decided it wasn't worth it too."

"Why?" he asked me.

I thought about how I wanted to word it, and then I sighed. "Things didn't end well between me and my boyfriend. We were together a long time, and then something happened and I knew we couldn't go on the way we were. It was too painful. I guess after that I just wanted to separate from everything that reminded me of the way it used to be."

He looked at me like he wanted to ask for more details about what caused my relationship to end, but he must have decided against it. I think we both had much more soul pouring than we intended that day.

"Bella, I'm sorry," he said unexpectedly. "For being rude to you the way that I did. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own shit that I don't consider what others are going through."

I bit my bottom lip. "I think everyone is guilty of that at one point or another."

Suddenly the door cracked open. "Hey guys, it's dinner time," Mrs. Cullen peeked in to say.

Just like all the other times I had stayed to eat, Edward was quiet and withdrawn at the table, so after dinner was over I decided I'd risk asking him about it.

"The truth is, I really don't know how to act around them without being a prick," he explained. "And I just don't want to act that way to them. They don't deserve it."

"Well, why was Mrs. Cullen weirded out when she first found out we were partners?" I asked him.

He chuckled. "I honestly don't work well with others. I was expelled from my last school for fighting after I was placed in a group for a project. Esme knows I have a short temper so she was probably worried about you. I guess she didn't realize what a fucking spitfire you were."

I giggled. "I'm not a spitfire…I just don't put up with shit."

"Exactly."

We both laughed.

The next day at school I was more than shocked when Edward said hi to me when we passed in the halls, and at lunch he actually came to sit with me.

"You know, people are staring," I teased him.

He shrugged. "Eh…Let them. If you really don't care then neither do I."

"Well good, then neither of us care," I said as I playfully grabbed the apple out of his lunch and took a bite out of it.

"Hey, apple thief! Man, I knew being your friend was a bad idea," he joked.

"I didn't steal it…I merely took a bite," I said while handing it back to him.

"I don't want it now; it has your coodies on it."

I laughed and then shoved him hard, but he didn't budge.

"You're not trying to push me over are you?" he asked with faux seriousness.

"Why, you think I couldn't?"

"There's no way."

"You asked for it," I said as I used all my weight to try to push him over…He didn't budge.

"I told you I can handle myself," he laughed.

"God, what are you made of, stone?"

He laughed again. "After getting my ass kicked a few times I learned to toughen up."

"Well, you've never gone up against me!" I said determinedly as I practically climbed onto his lap to try to push him over. When I still couldn't get him to move, I may have wrapped my arms around his neck to try pulling as a new tactic…It was far too close physically, and it made us both uncomfortable.

Thankfully, Edward decided to not let it get weird. "Okay, okay, I give," he chuckled as he pulled my arms off of his neck and subtly scooted away from me.

It was wonderfully surprising how quickly we became real friends. It seemed like when Edward opened up to me about his parents, we were both able to relax a bit and our relationship took a drastic turn for the better. He finally trusted me, and without trust, we had nothing…

***A/N: Hmmm are all the secrets revealed? I'm not so sure about that ;)