Chapter 9 – Regret

For a moment, as I stood there watching Edward stumbling towards us, a feeling of regret washed over me. What the hell kind of person was I? And then I was flooded with relief - Thank god he was okay. Of course the relief only lasted another moment, because then I realized what a serious issue was about to unfold.

"Who the hell is that?" I heard Jake ask from behind me.

"That looks a hell of a lot like Cullen," one of his friends said evenly.

When he reached us, Edward leaned forward and rested his hands on his knees while panting for air. "Seriously, do you have a death wish?" he asked me, seemingly unaware of Jake and his friends' presence.

"You jumped in after me," I said, still in disbelief. "I didn't think you were going to jump."

He stood and took a deep breath. "I sure as hell wasn't going to let you jump in there alone."

"Yeah, cuz you really saved her," Jake said condescendingly.

"I tried," Edward spat bitterly. "The current took me in the opposite direction. I barely managed to grab a hold of that rock on the other side of the cliff."

"Fucking pathetic," Jake snickered under his breath.

"Did you say something?" Edward challenged him.

"What the hell are you doing here, Cullen? You were told to never step foot in this town again," Sam said from behind us. Sam was Jake's older cousin and a member of the tribal council, therefore he liked to think he ran La Push. Needless to say, I wasn't surprised by his attitude, but I still didn't understand what the issue was.

"My name is not Cullen, and trust me, I didn't come here on purpose," Edward said sourly while shooting me a dirty look.

"Well, Papa Cullen can sure talk you out of anything, can't he?" Sam replied mockingly. "You may as well take his name, it's the only way you'll ever get anywhere in life."

"Nah, Mr. Money Bags will buy his way into college, I'm sure," Jake added. "But tell me Cullen, what would happen if Carlisle suddenly found himself losing a lawsuit for all he's worth? What will happen to your luck then?"

I seriously wanted to punch Jake in the face. Why the hell was he saying that shit?

Edward shrugged. "Well, at least he'll still be able to walk; I'm sure we'll figure something out. How is your dad, by the way?"

And that did it. Jake completely snapped and charged Edward in a fit of blind range. Thankfully Sam and his other friends grabbed a hold of him before his fists could make contact with Edward's face. "Don't you ever talk about my father again, you fucking prick!" Jake shouted as he flailed around trying to break free of his friends' grasps.

"Calm down, Jake, it's not worth it!" Sam shouted, trying to calm him down. "In a few years he'll be nothing but a bad memory."

Jake finally stopped fighting, and he took a deep breath to steady himself. "Someday you'll get yours, Cullen, and I'll be in the front row laughing the whole way."

"You've said that before, but I'm still waiting," Edward goaded.

Jake glared at him like he was going to pounce again, but then he turned his angry gaze at me. "What the hell are you doing here with him, Bella?"

"We're friends. We were just hanging out. Why do you care anyway?" I asked with as much attitude as I could muster.

"He's nothing but bad news," Jake replied. "And you're fucking smarter than that. Now let's go, I'm taking you home."

"My truck's here," I told him.

"Oh, that's right; Cullen can't drive anymore, can he?"

"Shut the fuck up," Edward warned.

Jake ignored him. "Come on Bella, Sam will drive your truck home."

"No! I'm not your girlfriend anymore…"

"Wait….Jacob Black is your ex?" Edward interrupted. "Oh, this is just fucking perfect," he said before turning and walking towards a trail leading to the street.

My stomach twisted.

"And don't fucking come back!" Jake yelled after him. "Next time we won't be so nice!"

I stood there for a moment and watched Edward get smaller in the distance, and then I turned and shoved Jake hard, making him laugh. "What?"

"I really don't like whatever game you're playing," I told him through gritted teeth.

He immediately stopped laughing. "I'm not playing a game, Bella. Don't bring that prick here again."

I narrowed my eyes at him, but instead of wasting time with questions, I decided it was more important to run after Edward…. I only wished I could find him.

After looking for him for over an hour, and being more than a little exhausted from my near death experience, I decided to go back to our original picnic area. I was surprised to see Edward's stuff gone, so I figured he was pissed and called Emmett to pick him up. I didn't blame him. I considered heading over to the Cullens to apologize and make sure he made it home all right, but I decided against it. If I knew Edward as much as I thought I did, he needed a little time to cool down before we talked again. Instead, I just went home; there was nothing in the world that I wanted more at that moment than the comfort of my mother's quilt.

My entire body ached, there wasn't a single muscle that didn't hurt, but wrapping myself up in the blanket my mother sewed made all the pain go away. I laid down on my bed, and the moment my head it the pillow I fell asleep, but it definitely wasn't a sound sleep. I kept dreaming about being stuck under the waves, and that horrible feeling I got when I thought Edward hadn't survived. It was so incredibly reckless and idiotic of me, and I realized that I was nowhere near as strong as I thought I was.

I didn't get out of bed until later that evening when my father came home from work. I caught him trying to microwave spaghetti sauce in the jar with the metal kid on, so I quickly ran over to stop him.

"You can't do that," I told him as I took the jar out and poured the sauce into a bowl.

"But your mom used to cook sauce in the microwave?"

"Not like that," I said with a giggle. "Sorry I haven't been cooking for you lately, I've been a little preoccupied."

"Yeah, you're gone more than I am. I should have a talk with Jake and yell at him for keeping you so busy," he said with a chuckle.

I bit my lower lip. "Dad…Jake and I…we haven't exactly been together," I admitted.

"What do you mean? You broke up? When the hell did that happen and why didn't you tell me?"

"We decided to separate over the summer. It was just too hard with everything that happened."

"Bella, that should have brought you two together, not tore you apart. You both went through so much…"

I put up my hand to stop him. "Dad, please…I don't want to go over the whole thing again."

"You'll never heal if you keep running from it," he lectured.

"I'm not running… Look, it's been a long day. Why don't you let me fix you dinner and then I think I'm going back to bed."

"Bella…Your mother would have wanted you to be happy," he said while tearing up.

My chest tightened and my eyes burned. "I'm working on it, dad," I choked out before running to the bathroom to try to get a hold of myself. I had to be strong for him, it was the only way we'd both survive it.

The next day I decided to head over to the Cullen's and try to apologize to Edward. I had no idea what kind of mood he'd be in, but I certainly didn't expect him to refuse to see me.

"I just need to talk to him," I told his sister Alice.

"I have no idea what happened between you two yesterday, but he told all of us that he doesn't want to see you anymore."

My stomach sank. Stupid fucking Jacob.

"Alice, please… I just need to talk to him," I told her, starting to feel desperate.

She sighed. "I'll go see what I can do."

She invited me into the house, so I sat in the living room alone, just waiting for her to talk Edward into seeing me. She must have worked her magic, because about ten minutes later she came down the stairs with Edward trailing behind her.

"What?" he said rudely the moment Alice walked out of the room.

"Edward… I'm really sorry for the whole cliff thing…And I should have listened when you said you didn't want to go to La Push…I still have no idea why those guys hate you so much, but I guess that's between you and them."

He glared at me. "Why didn't you tell me Jacob Black was you ex?" he asked slowly.

I scrunched my brows. "I didn't know full disclosure about past relationships was a requirement when befriending someone. Besides, I had no idea you knew him. You didn't seem to really know anyone. You've only been living in town since the beginning of the summer, how was I supposed to know you already managed to make enemies?"

He clinched his jaw, and we both knew he didn't have a comeback. "Look, the thing between those Quileute's and me is just…bad, and the fact that you dated one of them….I don't know, I just think it would be better if we stopped hanging out."

"Wow, I never took you as a fucking coward," I told him without thinking. Where the hell did that come from?

Surprisingly, he smirked at me. "I'm not a coward…I just don't want to mess with those guys anymore. Hanging out with one of their exes is just going to aggravate them even more. They're going to think I'm doing it to get to them."

I bit my lower lip as I considered how to respond to him. "Edward…Please don't let those assholes get between us. It's been a long time since I felt this close to anyone, and…I don't want to lose you." When he didn't answer right away I decided I wasn't past begging. "Please?"

He stared at me for another minute, and a look of doubt crossed his features, but then he sighed. "Fine. I guess it doesn't matter anyway since I'm already going to hell."

I wasn't sure if I even heard him right, but I was grateful he decided to continue with our friendship, and that was all that really mattered to me right then.

"Well, it's a good thing you decided to forgive me," I told him while fighting back a smile.

"Oh yeah, why's that?" he asked, slightly amused.

"Otherwise you'd have to finish our project by yourself," I joked.

"Pfft! All we have left is sculpting it with the clay, and we both know I'm doing that part alone anyway."

"Hey, I can sculpt," I said defensively.

"Sure. You forget, I saw that creation you made in class when we had the pottery assignment," he teased.

"Hey, I resent that," I told him playfully.

I was confident we would continue to spend all our time together, but things were definitely strained. The threat to our relationship had made that familiar tension between us escalated tenfold, and now it was laced with something darker. If we couldn't get a hold of whatever it was soon, I was sure it was going to explode in our face, and I certainly couldn't allow that to happen…

***A/N: I know you were hoping for answers, but we're so close now, can't you just feel it? LOL.