Chapter 11 – Whatever It Takes

"Are you okay?" Edward asked gently.

I couldn't look at him, but I couldn't just stand there naked in his arms any longer either. So I shook my head reflexively, and stepped away from him.

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned.

I didn't think it would be possible, but somehow I found my voice. "Nothing's wrong," I lied unconvincingly. "I…I just remembered that I promised my dad I'd go with him to his doctor appointment."

"Bella," he whispered as I rushed over to grab my clothes.

"He has those pre-cancer skin spots and it scares him, so I usually go to his annual checkups for support," I told him, continuing with the pathetic lie as I got dressed in record time.

"Bella, I'm sorry….I thought….I don't know what I thought."

"It's fine," I said, trying to make my voice as steady as possible. "Everything is fine…I'll see you later," I said before practically running out of the garage. I didn't even realize that I had left my shoes behind until I slammed on the gas pedal in my truck. But I didn't care. I just needed to get away as quickly as possible, and I knew exactly where I needed to go…

I was in full blown panic mode; not even almost drowning or the death of my mother compared to what I was currently experiencing. I was freaking out so much that I didn't notice the speed at which I was driving, and it only took a couple minutes before flashing lights glared in my rearview mirror.

My stomach twisted into agonizing knots because I knew exactly who was pulling me over. For a brief moment I thought about making a run for it and just dealing with him later, but then again, I wouldn't put it past my father to chase me and then force me to spend the night in a jail cell. I probably deserved it.

"Bella….do you have any idea how fast you were going?" Charlie asked.

I couldn't even look at him, so I kept my eyes locked on the steering wheel. "Fifty?"

"Honey, what's wrong?" he asked concerned. Charlie wasn't the most perceptive of men, so I was surprised he caught on so quickly.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I lied.

"Bella, look at me!" he demanded, so reluctantly I turned. "What happened? Did that punk hurt you? Bella tell me what's going on. I swear I won't hesitate to…"

"Dad, I said I'm fine!" I shouted at him.

"Why are you covered in mud?" he asked slowly.

I didn't consider the fact that the clay was still all over me and had dried and hardened, but it only made me that much more desperate to get to where I was going. "I was hiking and I fell. It's not a big deal," I lied again.

He narrowed his eyes at me and then leaned his head in the truck as if he was trying to get a closer look. "Is that a handprint on your neck?"

"What? No," I said quickly while trying to see what he was talking about in the visor mirror. Sure enough there was a distinguishable clay print in the shape of a hand on my neck. The memory of those long dirty fingers on my skin sent shivers down my spine, and I had an unwelcomed moment of yearning, which I quickly pushed away. "Dad, I really need to be somewhere right now. I'm sorry for speeding," I told him in a rush.

"Bella, look, I've basically thought about nothing else since we talked the other day, and I've decided that I need to ask you one more time to stop seeing Edward…"

"Dad, please just stop," I asked desperately.

"This thing with him," he continued, "whatever it is, it's going to ruin your life."

"It already has," I said with tears streaming down my face. "Please, I have to go," I told him, and before he could argue I put my truck into drive, and pushed hard on the gas pedal; thankfully, Charlie didn't follow.

I continued to speed down the highway until I finally arrived at that familiar turnoff, and then my stomach twisted in even tighter painful knots. I had grown up on those streets, and they always gave me a sense of home being there, but now I felt sick and disgusted by everything. I hated that one horrible event could overshadow all the beautiful memories I had there, but that ominous cloud refused to lift and only seemed to devour more and more of the light with each passing day.

I parked my truck in the little parking lot, and then I ran down the trail and right to the beach where I knew he'd be. Jacob was always at First Beach, I only hoped he didn't have all his buddies there with him. When I found him, thankfully he was only with his friend Seth, so I felt fractionally better.

"Bella, hey what's up?" Seth jumped up and greeted me excitedly. "Long time no see."

"Hi Seth," I said, keeping my eyes locked on the waves behind him.

"Seth, go for a walk," Jake ordered him.

"But…"

"Now!" Jake yelled.

"Fine," he grumbled, and then kicked the sand up as he went.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Jake asked. He took a step closer to me, so I took a step back. "Baby, what happened?"

I shook my head and bit my lower lip. "I'm done," I managed to choke out.

"You're done?" he asked confused. "You're done with what?"

"With all of it!" I shouted with angry tears pouring down my face. "I can't do it anymore, and I won't."

"Whoa, babe, just tell me what happened."

"I slept with him!" I screamed. "We were working on the project, and…I don't know what the hell came over me, but it went too far. This whole thing has gone too far. I don't even know who I am anymore."

"Okay, just calm down. Everything is going to be fine, you just need to relax."

"Calm down? You want me to calm down? Did you just hear what I told you? I had sex with him, how the hell do you expect me to just calm down?"

"Bella, why are you getting so worked up? Okay, so you had sex with him, it's not a big deal; maybe we can even use that to our advantage. I mean, you said he's weird about his room and doesn't let you be in there without him, right? Well, maybe he'll trust you more now, or maybe you can stay the night there and start looking while he's sleeping."

I stared at him in shock. Did he really just say that shit to me?

"Your girlfriend just told you that she fucked another guy, and you don't even give a shit?" I asked slowly.

"It's just sex, Bella," he said evenly. "I mean, yeah, I'd rather my girlfriend not bang my worst enemy, but I'm not going to go cry about it. This is fucking war, Bella, and that means we have to do whatever it takes to win."

"Can you even hear yourself right now?" I asked him disgusted. "Whatever it takes? Do you have any fucking boundaries or morals at all?"

"He killed your mother. He put my dad in a wheelchair; so no, I don't have any morals when it comes to him. We agreed that we'd do whatever it takes to make him pay, and if that means you fucking him, then so be it. When his ass is behind bars serving a life sentence, then we'll be able to move on with our lives and forget any of this happened, but until then, we stick to the plan and do whatever it takes!"

I couldn't believe it. I was so upset by his words that I was literally trembling. I would have rather he lash out and scream hatefully at me for my betrayal then for him to act so callously. He was right, we had agreed to do whatever necessary to take Edward down, but I honestly didn't think he'd be so willing to sacrifice my body to him.

"Sex may not be a big deal to you…but it is to me," I told him brokenly.

He rolled his eyes. "Then why'd you do it?"

"You told me we couldn't see each other while we were working on this; you said everyone needed to believe we had broken up. You haven't talked to me in months. I wasn't even sure if you were okay or not. I alienated myself from my friends and I rearranged my entire schedule at school…He's the only person I've really spent time with in a long time…I...I…I got lost in this…I started forgetting who I was and what I was doing…"

"You were just playing your role, Bella, there's nothing wrong with that," Jake said emotionlessly.

I cried again. "Everything is wrong with that! I feel so…dirty."

He snickered. "Well, you are. What the hell is all over you?"

"I didn't mean…"

"I know what you meant," he cut me off. "But really Bella, you need to grow up. I don't even understand why you're so upset over this; you're the one who fucked him, so why are you here crying to me about it as if I did something wrong? People have casual sex all the time."

I laughed once humorlessly. "Have you been having casual sex with someone?"

He sighed. "No…But I did have a thing with this one girl when we broke up briefly over the summer."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, but we were in a shitty time, and it just happened…But I love you, and we're going to be together again when this is all over."

I wiped my tears. "At least we were broken up then….I basically cheated on you and you don't even care."

"Look, this is a unique situation. You can't think of it as cheating."

"How am I supposed to think about it?" I asked quietly.

"This is war. Plain and simple."

"And I'm your fucking spy," I said bitterly.

"Whatever it takes," he repeated. "Now, don't think Charlie knows what's going on, because he doesn't. I just told him that you're befriending Edward to see if he'll open up to you about the accident. There's no way he'd let this continue if he knew we're planning to plant shit in his room if you can't find any real dirt on him."

I huffed. "How does he even know Edward is responsible; I thought you said Billy wasn't going to tell him?"

"Yeah, I think he let it slip. Charlie wanted to go arrest him, but my dad told him what he told the La Push police."

"Which is?"

"That he can't prove it was him since he ran from the scene. It's a good thing my dad was awake long enough to get a good look at him, otherwise we'd never know who did it."

"So now my dad knows that we're doing something…and Billy knows…who else? Sam?" I questioned.

"Yeah, I'm not sure why my dad told him. I mean, he doesn't know know, but he knows enough to go and threaten the prick to stay out of La Push. He just thinks he's reckless and he doesn't want him hurting anyone else."

"Why were you guys at that beach that day anyway?" I asked, suspicious of his intentions. "You're usually at this beach."

"It was a coincidence. This beach was too crowded that day so we went there. Then I saw you on the cliff, and with the tide the way it was, I figured you were going to get yourself into trouble. I didn't even see that fucker with you until he came stumbling out of the water. Look, whatever you do, don't bring him back into town. Sam doesn't need to see him here and get into our business any more than he already has…What were you doing jumping with him anyway? Trying to get him killed?" he laughed darkly.

I stared at the ocean unseeingly, and didn't answer his question. The truth was, I had no idea what I was doing that day, just like I had no idea what made me do what I did with him in the garage.

Something made me glance down at my arm, and I noticed the dried clay there as it began flaking off, so I brushed it with my hand and realized just how badly I wanted a shower. I felt so dirty, both literally and metaphorically, and the fact that Jake didn't even really care made me somehow feel worse. "Whatever it takes," he told me. I was no better than some cheap hooker with Jake as my fucking pimp, except I wasn't getting paid with money; I was getting paid with revenge.

Could I do it? Was I strong enough to continue with the charade and do whatever it took to bring my mother's killer to justice? It made me sick just thinking about it. There was no one in the world that I hated more than Edward Masen, hell, the entire revenge plot was my idea, but how was I going to keep myself sane? I already lost it so many times; Edward had a strange ability to manipulate me into actually thinking I enjoyed his company, I had to figure out a way to bury my hatred for him but still keep my wits…

"We can't go this long without talking again," I told Jacob. "I need to be reminded…I get too sucked in…Edward is…I don't know…he's…stronger than I ever thought…I feel lost when I'm around him too much. I start feeling like a completely different person."

Jake nodded. "Fine." He walked me to my truck and then grabbed my cell phone from my bag and started punching something into the memory. "See this number? It's to my new prepay phone. When you need to see me just ring it once and then hang up…I'll do the same. When you see this on your caller ID, come right to this beach to meet me. Got it?"

I nodded.

"Bella…we're going to win this."

I nodded again, but my face fell in doubt.

"Hey….I love you. Just remember that. It'll all be over soon, and then we'll get back to the way it used to be."

"It'll never be the way it used to be," I told him before driving away.

I went home and then immediately went to the bathroom to shower, but then I thought of something. I quickly ran to my room to check my birth control pill count, and was beyond relieved that I was current. Thank god, I would rather die than carry that bastard's baby. But when I went back to the bathroom and began getting undressed, I saw my naked torso in the mirror and was shocked by how many smeared clay hand prints that I actually had on me. I was covered in them, and regardless of how disgusted my mind was from it, my body reacted much differently...

Every touch, every kiss, every sound, it all instantly replayed in my mind, and another twang of desire pulsated from deep within me. Needless to say, I was seriously fucked up.

***A/N: Yeah, so who saw that coming? In my defense this story is called "Twisted". This is the point where you scream hate at me for twisting it this way, or you tell me how much you love it and go back to re-read the previous chapters to look for my hints (and yes, there were hints, the story will probably seem completely different if you read it now).

I know there's still questions you may have, but more will be explained as the story continues to unfold.

Love it or hate it, can't wait to see what you think.