Disclaimer: I do not own La Corda d'oro
Chapter 9
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To cheat oneself out of love is the most terrible deception; it is an eternal loss for which there is no reparation, either in time or in eternity.
The sun had been up. She can feel warmth. The smell in the room is different. She tried opening her eyes but everything is blurry. It's a place not familiar to her.
"Where am I?" while she look around her. She sees books everywhere. The place is small. She then found her purse and reaches for her phone. "Damn! 86 missed call and 21 text messages, great!" then she sees a note on the nightstand next to her "I'm at work. You can stay, as long you want. John"-She then remember what happened last night. As the memories starts to come back, she gathers her things and called for a cab.
When she got to the condo she manage to take the service entrance as she hope no one would notice her. She got in the elevator; her heartbeat starts to elevate. She knows her chances of seeing Azuma is great. The elevator open and she slowly walk towards her Unit. As she open the door someone is waiting for her.
"Finally, your home. I have been worried. Are you okay?"
"Gomen, Shima. Please I'll be in my room and if anyone calls please tell them that I'm not home." Kahoko quickly went inside her room. As she closes the door behind her, tears start to fall.
It had been 3 days, since Tavern, as Kahoko shuts the world behind her. Shima finally called her Dad.
Beep-beep Beep-beep
She reaches for her phone. She sees Dad on her caller ID. She finally has courage to answer her phone. "Hello" her voice is flat. "Kahoko, it's dad. What going on?" she could not get her self together and she starts to cry. "Kahoko my love, I'm worried about you. I'm coming to see you. I'll be there tomorrow." While she continues to cry she said to herself "It keeps coming back to me; I remember this pain." Her tears spread across her eyes; everything is dull. "Why am I being hunted?" as she continues to cry.
The next morning Kahoko finally open her bedroom door. Shima is able to give her food and clean her room. She slowly walks to the living room and turn the TV on. She flips through the channels relentlessly.
"Kohoko-san. I know it's not place to say this but please accept some phone calls from your friends. Talking will help ease what ever your feeling right now." Says Shima in a worried tone. "Your father will be here in 3 hours. He asked for you to meet him at the airport. If you please get ready now and your dad's office town car will be here to pick you up."
She finally turn and look at Shima "What do you think I should wear?" still in a flat voice. In spite of this, Shima feels better when she heard Kahoko speak. "You should wear something comfortable. It's cold outside."
After taking a shower she look at herself in the mirror. Her eyes are red and dark circles under her eyes are visible. She put a light make-up on and concealed the dark circles under her eyes. "Something comfortable" she said to herself. After an hour of getting ready she found herself in the kitchen eating. "It's good to see you eat again Kaho-chan" smiles Shima.
"Thank you for taking care of me Shima" She finally put a faint smile on her face
"Kaho-chan, Master Yunoki was here yesterday." Says Shima
"What was he doing here Shima?" she ask bluntly
Shima then handed her a letter. "He said to give this to you." Kahoko look at the envelope. She was surprised how plain the envelope look. She took a deep breath. She folded the envelope and slid it inside her front pocket.
"I must be going" Kahoko said
Ashley greeted her the moment Kahoko got out from the elevator. "Good afternoon Miss Hayashi, May you have a great day today!" Ashley all smiles
"Thank you!" waving at her
She found herself at Starbucks looking for John "Sorry, John is off today" Says another Barista "would you like to leave a message for him?"
"Oh no thank you! I will give him a call" she then looks at her watch and saw the time. "Dang I have to go" she told herself.
She feels anxious while she waits for her dad. She starts pacing herself. She then remembers the letter from Azuma. She can feel the envelope inside her pocket, But still uncertain if she should read it. Her heart aches every time she thinks of him.
The drive back to the condo was completely lifeless. She could not open up to her dad and her dad had it her way, worried that he might ask something to make the situation worse. The driver pulls up at the main entrance. She got out the car and saw John. John looks worried.
"John what are you dong here?" she ask
"My co-worker called me and told me that you were looking for me. So, I decided to come here to see you to make sure your doing okay."
Before she could answer him, her dad creep up behind her and said, "Who is this young man Kaho-chan?" Kahoko totally forgot that her dad was following her "Um! Dad this is John. My friend" she replied to him
"I'm Mr. Hayashi. Kahoko's father." He shakes John's hand with a firm grip
"Hello! Mr. Hayashi," John very nervous. Finally Kahoko cut in
"Dad! Can you go ahead, give me a few minutes" her dad got in the elevator she then feel relieve. "I'm sorry about that. And by the way I want thank you for helping at the Tavern and for letting me stay at your place." She smiles faintly at him.
"Your welcome! I hope your feeling better " John looking at her worried
"I will be okay. I just need more time."
"If you need company, call me," says John
"I need to go. Thank you again" she bow to John
That night at the dinner table her dad finally broke the silence.
"Kaho-chan, Shima told me that you did not come home a few nights ago? I am not accustom to this kind of behavior of yours. I don't know what's going on but I have seen this side of you years back, locking your self in your bedroom? If you can tell me then maybe I can at least give you advice."
"Dad!-it's okay. I think this time I should at least know how to cope. Thank you for your concern and I appreciate you being here." Her voice is still plain
"You know I been wanting to tell on how I met your mother." Says her dad; Kahoko is stump to what she heard. She never thought that her dad has a side in him that still remembers her mother, to share stories with her. He is always been straightforward and very practical with his feelings. He is tough. He is one of the highest paid lawyers in Japan because of his toughness.
"Kaho-chan are listening?" says her dad, he then continue his story "Your mother was a quite person. Preserved. I just got over a relationship when we met. She was there for me while I went on babbling on how I got cheated on. She supported me in my misery. We became really close. I then realized months later that I've grown fond of her. Her affection towards me was warm and honest. Then we both took our relationship to the next level, just weeks after she found out that she was pregnant. At that time I was finishing law school and our relationship started to falter because of our busy lives. I had to move out the country to finish my internship at Harvard. I promised her that I would come back for her and the baby when I'm done but of course none of what we planned fall into place. I end up staying longer than expected and by the time I finished, I went back to Japan but could not find you and your mom. I had people check for you guys but no luck. Months, years passed I knew that the person and my baby I took for granted will not come back to my side." Silence- "Kaho dear, if someone wants to explain himself to you try listening. Hear him out. That was one thing your mother lack. You might be thinking that I'm a selfish prick but I did it all because you were coming to the world I wanted to give everything to my dear daughter. Till this day I still love your mother."
Kahoko's eyes starts to get cloudy, tears slowly falls down her checks. Her hearth aches more then ever.
"Dad-thank you!" as she contemplates, she knows that she needs to melt her frozen heart. She realizes that she never really understand Azuma. Her little tolerance of him every time he shows affection to her is so insignificant; the dinners, flowers the rides, his silly messages, "What am I doing?" she said… "This changes nothing, you selfish bastard. You cheated"…
"I saw Azuma-sama not long ago. I was invited to his home coming dinner at the Yunoki manor." He wanted to see Kahoko's reaction when he mentioned Azuma in front of her. But he did not get the response he wanted.
"That's nice" She said it as plainly as possible with I don't care type of tone.
"You know, young adults these days are stubborn. You guys let your ego get in the way. How are you supposed to find that missing piece in your life if you don't give second chances? And by the way I don't think HE CHEATED ON YOU." Her dad said it in a stern voice.
Kahoko then snapped, "What are you talking about dad? How did you know about Azuma?" she starts to worry, this was one thing that she could not tell her dad. Her playing with boys is so unheard of since she promised her dad that she would do her best at school.
"His family told me that he went after you. And when I saw him the other night he told me his intentions for you. No man can just come up to the father of the girl he loves and start pouring his emotions. He told me that you saw him with another women and he knew that you automatically thought that he was cheating on you. Now my dear, you need to talk to him, don't miss out on anything. He is hurting too." He then kisses Kahoko's forehead as he bid her goodnight "Goodnight my love. I will be leaving in the morning for Italy and I'll see you back in Japan for Ryoutaro and Nao's wedding."
In her bedroom
She unlocks her iPhone and saw all the missed call from Azuma. She scans all the messages and it's still from Azuma. She also checks her email and saw Nao's reminder for her wedding. "That's right the wedding is in one week," she said. She continues to check her email and realized that she did not get her invitation from Nao. Then she looks over her dresser and sees a red envelope. She reaches for it and see that it's the invitation. "How the hell did I miss this?" she open the envelope immediately. As she flip to the next page she reads the wedding party. Maid of Honor-Kahoko Hayashi this made her smile and still could not believe her best friend is getting married. As she continues Best Man-Azuma Yunoki… "What the hell? I had no Idea that this Idiot is the best man." She can taste bitterness inside her mouth reading his name. Then she remembers the letter from Yunoki. She slowly opens the envelope, as she read
Kahoko,
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
I'm lost with out you
I can't seem to find my way out alone
I need you with me.
My heart is always protecting you with arms spread wide
What you saw was a total misunderstanding.
Gomen
Azuma
PS
Sorry for leaving early. I hope you have a safe flight. I miss you!
That night she went to bed with stillness inside her heart. She knows that she needs to reflect on her actions and hoping to make things go away for her to feel the same again. She knows that she is lacking something in her relationship towards Azuma. Until she wakes up from her slumber, she needs to understand that love is the key to feel happiness and relationship becomes easier when she realize that he don't have to be the one at fault to be the one who's sorry.
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~Currently listening to "Lighters" ft. Bruno Mars~
Ah! To my spoiled readers I love you all…back to back updates is unheard of…REVIEW for me please.