Chapter 14 – Sleeping with the Enemy

Despite agreeing that we were basically going to be friends with benefits, Edward and I were rarely apart. We did absolutely everything a real couple would do, including holding hands and making out in the school hallways, but I supposed keeping away those titles of "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" put just enough separation between us that we weren't constantly worried about losing each other. We were young and in high school, the chances of us being together in that way forever were slim to none, so we just wanted to make sure we could still be friends afterwards…at least, that was the way he saw it.

But our new public closeness left the school buzzing in a constant state of gossip revolving around us. I honestly didn't care, although seeing my former best friends laughing and giving me dirty looks was hard to take at times. I'd get to the point where I just wanted to pull them to the side and explain what was really going on, but then Edward would show up and kiss me with so much passion that I'd completely forget my reasons. When his lips were attached to mine, I had no reason, and I couldn't imagine anything better.

It was during one of those types of passion filled make out sessions that we had a very unwelcomed and baffling interruption...

"What the fuck?" Edward said as his lips were ripped from mine. I didn't see what happened at first, but it only took me a moment to realize the issue.

"Nobody wants to see that shit around here," Jacob growled at him.

Edward chuckled darkly. "Oh, are we offending you, princess?"

"You're offending everyone just by your very presence here. There's not a single person at this school that doesn't think you're a fucking douche."

"Jacob, why don't you just leave us alone?" I asked frustrated. They both ignored me.

"You know, Black, you can call me what you want, but everyone knows you're just bitter because Bella is here with me and it drives you crazy," Edward said with a smirk.

"You're damn right it drives me crazy!" Jake spat. "It absolutely disgusts me. Bella is far too good for some douche like you."

"There you go with that word again. Do you even know what a douche is?" Edward asked amused. Then he took his pointer finger and shot it up through his opposite fist making a suggestive vulgar motion. "Think about it, moron."

Jacob looked like he was trying to think of a comeback, but then he just shook his head before giving me an odd look, and thankfully he finally left.

I took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. I wasn't used to that level of tension anymore, and I definitely needed a moment to come down from it.

"Sorry about that," Edward mumbled. "I know you still have a thing for him, or whatever…He just really pisses me off."

"You seemed to have a pretty good handle of yourself," I told him absently. "Edward…" I desperately wanted to ask him about his version of why he and Jake hated each other so much; I mean, I obviously knew why Jake hated Edward, but what would he say if I asked him what caused the animosity between them? Would he tell me about the accident? I honestly felt like we had grown close enough that he might open up to me, but how would I handle the information?

"What?" he asked me when my hesitation lasted for several beats longer than it should have.

I bit my lip and then shook my head. "Never mind." That was neither the time nor the place for that conversation, and the truth was, I wasn't ready to start hating him yet - which I was sure would happen if I actually got him to admit everything.

I suppose there was a big part of me, a part that I denied even to myself, that was praying for some kind of different explanation. Perhaps Billy was wrong when he saw Edward that night…perhaps Edward was innocent and I didn't actually have to hate him at all…perhaps I could really be the person I was becoming with him. I wanted that more than anything, but Billy's recount of what happened made it seem impossible that he got the wrong guy, and the fact that Edward stopped driving his Volvo around that time only further proved his guilt. I tried not to think of that fact, but every now and again it would creep into my brain and would make me sick. Seeing Jake must have triggered those horrible thoughts, because for the rest of the day I had trouble looking at him…

"You're not staying?" Edward asked surprised when we arrived at his house after school and I didn't get out of my truck.

"My dad's home this afternoon…I should probably spend some time with him, and you know, make him dinner."

Edward gave me a strange look, as if he could see right through my half-truth, but then he seemed to shrug it off. "Okay….I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

As he turned to walk into the house, it took everything I had inside of me to not park the truck and run after him. I hated being away from him, even for the afternoon, but I realized what a huge problem that actually was and I knew I had to find a way to get ahold of my emotions again, otherwise I'd never survive any of it. He killed my mom, I had to keep reminding myself that, and if justice prevailed, he'd be in jail by graduation. – That thought made me sicker than all the others.

I wasn't actually lying when I said my dad was home and I needed to make him dinner; it felt like it had been ages since I spent any real time with him, and I knew he was still grieving. Being alone was definitely not a good thing for Charlie, and the fact that I had been spending most of my time with the person that caused his pain just made me feel all that much more terrible.

"Hey…I was wondering when I'd get to see you again," Charlie said when I walked through the door.

"Yeah…sorry, I've been busy," I told him vaguely.

"Bella, I don't want you to get mad and leave, but can I ask you one more time to stop doing whatever it is you're doing with Masen?"

I huffed. "Dad, can we please not talk about Edward. This whole thing is hard enough, and we hardly get to see each other so let's not taint it with arguing."

"You may be eighteen Bella, but you're still my daughter and I…."

"And you trust me to know what I'm doing," I cut him off.

"I really hate this," he grumbled. "If the crash would have happened anywhere but La Push the evidence wouldn't have been screwed up by their inept police department, and I would have that kid behind bars by now."

"There was no evidence, dad, that was the problem," I said feeling jaded from having the same conversation again for the umpteenth time.

"Well, I'm glad that Billy finally remembered he saw Masen… Knowing who's responsible is better than not knowing. But I really don't think you're going to get him to talk, Bells. Chances are he was drunk that night and probably doesn't even remember himself."

So that was the story Billy told Charlie? - That he just woke up one day and remembered Edward at the scene?

The truth was, Billy never had trouble remembering, and I never really understood why he wanted to keep my dad in the dark; then again, had Charlie known about Edward all along he would have made our whole plan that much more difficult. I supposed Charlie had enough to deal with at that time; learning who was responsible for his wife's death but being unable to do anything about it would have been too much to bear.

"We have to try," I told my dad quietly.

"But…you're just trying to get him to talk right? Nothing dangerous or illegal?"

"Of course not dad, now can we please not talk about any of that tonight? I just want to forget everything for a few hours."

He smiled sadly and then nodded. "Me too."

We didn't have much in the house and I didn't feel like going to the store, so we decided to order a pizza. We watched Wheel of Fortune just like we used to, and then we found some old movie on HBO that Charlie said was one of his favorites… I was bored out of my mind and regretfully fell asleep, but a little while later he nudged me awake.

"Honey, I hate to wake you, but your phone has been going nuts over here."

"Huh? Oh…" I said while looking up the caller ID.

"It keeps ringing once and then stopping, and a few minutes later it does it again," he explained.

Crap. It was Jacob's secret line.

"Thanks dad…Um…I actually need to go meet someone for a little bit…Do you mind?" I asked apologetically.

He smiled sadly again. "Of course not. Go have fun, sweetheart."

I kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks dad… This was…fun. We should do it again."

He finally smiled genuinely. "Definitely."

I didn't want to go, meeting Jake was the last thing I wanted to do, but we agreed to only use that secret number when we absolutely needed to, so for my mother's sake, I went.

The entire drive to La Push was nerve-racking. Not only was I anxious about whatever new information Jake might have, but I was also scared. I wasn't ready to hate Edward yet, and I was terrified Jake was going to try and make me.

"Finally. I wasn't sure you were going to come," Jake said bitterly as I approached him on the beach.

"Why wouldn't I come, Jacob? We agreed to always come for that number," I replied with more attitude than I intended.

"Well, I figured it would be hard to sneak out of his bed," Jake said scornfully.

"Not that it makes a difference, but I wasn't in his bed, I was with Charlie; so whatever it is you have to say can you just say it fast so I can get back to him."

Jacob hesitated for a minute, then he looked around at the deserted beach, and then he rushed me. It happened so fast that I didn't even understand what was going on until I felt his tongue trying to force itself into my mouth. I didn't get it, and I sure as hell didn't appreciate it. I used every ounce of strength I had to push his massive form away from me, and then I reflexively punched him in the face – a move that only seemed to hurt me.

"OW!" I screamed out.

"Bella, what the hell did you do that for?"

"Me?" I shouted irately. "Why did you attack me?"

"I didn't attack you. I kissed you."

"Why the hell would you do that?" I asked, getting even angrier.

"You're my girlfriend. I wanted to kiss my girlfriend, what the fuck is wrong with that?"

I scrunched my face and glared at him with bitter disgust. "Just this afternoon, you got all bitchy about me making out with Edward at school, and now you want me to make out with you? Really Jacob, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"You're the one who said you get lost with him. Well that's exactly what it looked like this afternoon - You getting in too deep and forgetting what the hell you're supposed to be doing. I doubt you've even searched his room yet, have you? …So yeah, I wanted to kiss you and remind you exactly what the hell is really important."

"And what is important?" I asked irritated. "Because it seems to me you've left this whole thing up to me! What the hell are you doing to try to help the situation? All you've done is have these ridiculous confrontations with him which only makes him clam up even more than he is normally. So please tell me, how the hell am I supposed to accomplish anything with him if you keep coming around and fucking things up?"

"Do you think it's easy for me to see you with him?" he shouted at me.

"Probably easier than it was for me to be with him in the beginning!" I yelled back.

"In the beginning?" he seethed. "You're sleeping with the enemy and suddenly it's not hard for you anymore?"

"Everything about this situation is hard," I told him evenly. "Look, if you don't have anything real to tell me then I'm going home."

"You're falling for him, aren't you?" he asked incredulously.

I didn't answer him. I just bit my lip, looked out over the dark ocean, and then turned and walked back up the trail to my truck. Even if I had a confident answer to his question, voicing it would be pointless. It didn't matter how I did or didn't feel; when I went along with the plan, I gave up my right to acknowledge my feelings, and I didn't have the luxury to change my mind.