Necessary Jealously

She doesn't have to tell him that she's jealous; she knows he sees it in her eyes, and she tries so, so hard not to be jealous, but she is. It's so unfair. He had to sit and suffer through seeing her kiss another guy on a big screen, not even allowed to compete for her affection. It may have been fake but still. (He didn't know.)

And here she is, when he is so painfully, obviously in love with her, and she is still jealous. She tries to reason with herself. (It's because he's the only thing that hasn't really changed. It's because she's known him forever, and she doesn't want him given to someone else to be best friends with.)

He walks around with the governor's daughter, and she seems so perfect for him, beautiful and gentle, and Katniss wonders how that dainty rich girl won over Gale who used to scowl when they passed Her Kind of People every day.

So as she stands patiently and waits for Gale and Madge to finish exchanging words, she tries to ignore it. And when the blonde walks away, she bites her tongue and tries to clear the anger from her body. She smiles.

(And fails.)

And he sees it, and she hates herself for being jealous, because he's shaking his head and whispering, "How could you even begin to think…"

Tears are coming to her eyes, and she's embarrassed she can't control herself. She hears Peeta in the background and it completes this awkwardly fashioned love triangle or square or whatever the hell it is now. She reaches for Gale's hand and pulls him away, into the forest and away from Peeta and Madge.

When she grabs him to kiss him, she realizes she's shaking.

How is she possibly still afraid of losing him?

Or is she afraid that it's herself she's losing, that one day she'll look at Gale and not be jealous at all?

Not being jealous, she decides, would hurt so much more. Because that would mean…

Pressing herself closer to him, she reminds herself that as long as he's there and she's happy, everything is how it's supposed to be.

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xx Eep! It's Katniss's POV. Surprise, surprise. I always find it hard to write her because I don't know how much emotion is too much or too little…

(I hope this makes sense like it did in my mind. It didn't feel right to finish the sentence 'Because that would mean…' It would go along the lines to explain if she wasn't jealous that meant she didn't care Gale was with another girl, and she's afraid that if she doesn't care he's with another girl, it's because she's happy without him/with another guy.)