This Bitter Earth

by Ikorous

Control isn't the only thing Draco Malfoy has lost. But he will get it back. He will get everything bac

10. TEN

Thank you so so much to everyone who favorited, followed, and reviewed! I have been LIVING for the notifications haha. It means the world to me to see your support so I want you all to know how much you mean to me. THANK YOU! And a huge thank you to Bree mysweet_bree for helping me by betaing for me for this chapter! She is wonderful and makes me feel like I might not be a crazy person.

A small note about this chapter, I know some people have had a hard time accepting Draco's actions in this story so I just want to put a content warning that there are some pretty graphic and dark things he does this chapter in the section starting with Theo talking about Quidditch pretty much until the end of the chapter. If you are having trouble with some of his choices and don't want to read that part or aren't ready to, feel free to message me if you have any questions. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable while reading.

Soundtrack- "Face Me" by The Plot in You and "Whispers" by Halsey

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TEN

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Draco wasn't surprised to find Hermione at the window. He started leaving the curtains open because she seemed to like looking out over the grounds. Her rich chocolate eyes would scan over them, watching the snow fall softly past the high window in thick flakes. Today, she lifted her hand up and pressed it against the glass. The window fogged as she leaned in, her breath hitting it before she rested her forehead on one of the panes and let out a long sigh.

He swept across the room towards the window, stopping behind her. Granger hadn't moved. She just stood there, head against the glass with her thick, twisting curls falling around her like a curtain. Draco's hands landed on her shoulders, still so small. She was eating a bit more, but not much.

Did Muggles normally eat different food? He didn't know. She seemed to eat the food at school and liked it well enough. Maybe she just didn't like his food.

Maybe she just didn't like him.

Draco glanced back at Crookshanks who slowly blinked his piss-yellow eyes at him. He sneered and turned back to Granger.

"Come away from the window," Draco said softly and pulled Granger back, turning her to face him. Her cheeks were wet.

He quickly reached out and yanked the curtains back closed, shutting out the bright snowy landscape before taking her face in his hands. His fingers spread out on either side of her neck, pushing under the soft curls to get at the warm skin and his thumbs lifted to wipe the wetness from her cheeks.

It was so quiet that Draco could hear each one of her small breaths and they moved softly in and out of her, filling and emptying her chest over and over.

Granger looked up at him, straight into his eyes. She was right here, in his hands, and in that moment Draco could not force his marble walls back into place.

In fact, he didn't want to. He wanted her to keep looking at him like that. Shit, he wanted that more than anything. And… maybe she did too.

Without the white walls, Draco's heart was free to beat a little faster and he felt a rush of… something… something he hadn't felt in so long pushed through the veins by quickening blood.

Granger lifted her chin, staring defiantly back at him. Then, she tilted her head back and the column of her throat pressed up against her fine skin. Bare. Unblemished. He ran his thumbs down over it, dragging them back up and watching her mouth open as she sucked in a breath. Her lips glistened slightly from the tears he hadn't been quick enough to wipe away and he pulled her face ever so slightly to his as he hunched his shoulders, leaning down towards her.

Her face slid down in his hands and she broke away from his gaze, dropping her eyes to the floor. Draco paused and heard a small, sharp intake of breath from her.

Granger.

He let his lips fall to her hairline, burying his nose into the tawny curls and closed his eyes, holding her there. Taking what he could get.

Her skin was cold from the frosty glass and Draco missed its warmth against his lips. He missed so much about her. Her smile, her laugh, her hands, her fire. He would fly into the sun if he could feel the warmth of her burn just one more time.

Draco pulled back, taking a deep breath and swallowing heavily. His hands slid down from her face, over her arms, and rested on her wrists, holding them and feeling the fine bones under her delicate skin. He wrapped his fingers around them, squeezing slightly, hoping that she would… react.

Granger stared down at his hands around her wrists and let out another long breath. He didn't want to hurt her, but he could feel her pulse beating quicker the harder he held her.

Following her line of sight he saw that she was staring directly at the dark mark on his left forearm. Granger gasped and her pulse thumped violently under his fingers.

Draco didn't let go.

.

Over the next week, Draco gradually started making good on her demands. The toothbrush he brought her was in fact green, but it was a bright neon instead of the deep forest of Slytherin. Small victories…

"Did you actually go into a Muggle shop and buy this?" she asked, almost liking the image of Draco wandering around a drug store and staring at the rows of toothbrushes while his brows pulled together in bewilderment.

He snorted. "No."

"Then how did you get it?"

"I summoned it from outside."

Hermione looked from the toothbrush up to Draco. "You stole it?"

How could he look so condescending when he was the one who had done wrong? "Granger, it's a toothbrush."

"It doesn't make it right," she argued.

His expression was carefully controlled, making sure none of his actual thoughts slipped onto it where she might have a hint of what was going on in his head.

"It was for you."

She didn't press the matter anymore. There was no arguing with him when he was like this. But for the next two days, that was all they did and her requests stopped coming until the following morning when Draco threw a copy of the Daily Prophet onto the bed.

Hermione rushed forward, grabbing it and clutching it hard enough to rip the edges, but right now she didn't care. She was desperate for any news of Harry or the Order or even the war. It had been hard to get information on the run, trying to catch Muggle headlines and steal old copies of the Prophet out of bins when they could, but it had been two weeks now since she had seen nothing but Draco getting drunk on the chaise and sneering at her.

She bent low over it, eyes darting to every article, trying to read them all at once.

"Thicknesse Address Claims of Abuse in the Ministry" then in smaller print underneath a quote from the puppet Minister, "The Ministry of Magic is employing the necessary level of commitment to regulating our magical community for the protection and continuation of…" She read on, disgusted but not surprised by the Prophet's acceptance of the Ministry's statement until she felt like she couldn't stomach it anymore.

Hermione skipped ahead to an article at the bottom of the page. "Archibald Edgecombe killed in a Quidditch accident! The 34 year old Chaser for the Falmouth Falcons was killed yesterday in a freak accident during practice when his broom suddenly disappeared from underneath him. Edgecombe had discussed leaving the team recently to accept a position offered to him on the Belgium World Team due allegations about his wife and daughter's blood status."

More and more of the same kinds of stories, yet Hermione could not stop herself from reading. She read the entire paper, front to back, twice, before setting it down and leaning back against the pillows with a heavy sigh.

"Find what you were looking for?" She had almost forgotten Draco was there. He picked up the paper and folded it back.

He looked tired. His shoulders were sagging today and his hair was not pushed back like it normally was. Instead it fell in locks over his forehead, almost long enough to cover his eyes. He sat the paper down on the bed again, running his fingers over the picture of Pius Thicknesse with Dolores Umbridge at his shoulder. Her heart went out to Draco, wanting to take his hand into her own. This world that she just read about was bleak and void of the whimsical oddities that had always captivated her about the magical world.

But this one was dark and dreary. Cold. Harsh.

No wonder he looked like he did. Of course Draco had hidden himself away behind metal and marble. If this was the world he had to live in, participate in, survive in the soft smile he had given to her when he told her he loved her would have been torn from his face in a heartbeat. She wondered if she would ever get to see it again. Even just once. Once would be enough. Just to know that her Draco was still in there somewhere.

Draco twisted the Malfoy ring around on his finger and Hermione glanced back down at his hands. They looked the same, but so different as well. There were the clean, blunt nails on top of the long fingers that had touched every part of her. She could practically feel them on her skin, gently sliding and digging in. His hand was spread wide over the paper, blue-green veins ran like roads under the pale skin. She wanted to follow them up his arm to his chest and then deep down into his heart. Maybe she could find him in there? Under the blood and muscle, locked behind the cage of his ribs; maybe that's where he was hiding away.

Something sparked in her mind as she watched his fingers trace the same pattern over and over the moving picture. She wouldn't have known it if she hadn't spent all her free time reading about the dark arts in the relative safety of the tent. Draco's fingers were moving not in a pattern, but in spellwork.

The Cruciatus curse. It was the jerky, rough slicing wandwork to cast the torture curse.

Hermione watched his finger trace it over and over; a dozen times, maybe more. The ink smeared and their faces became distorted, not even recognizable as human anymore. Then he stopped.

"Do you still want this?"

Hermione blinked, looking up into his grey eyes and finding… nothing. No misty haze, no swarming storms, not even sharpened steel. Just… nothing.

She shook her head. Draco took it and walked out. He was leaving her alone for longer stretches of time now and she was finding that it bothered her even more than his presence did. She was… worried about him. That's all. She didn't miss him.

She didn't miss him.

The next day a new dress was waiting for her when she got out of the bathroom. Hanging on the mahogany door of Draco's wardrobe was another sheer, see-through lace shift that was, if possible, even smaller than the one before. She sighed and pulled it down to change into it when she saw that he hadn't left her any undergarments this time.

Hermione shrieked in frustration. But Draco wasn't even here to hear her. He had left. Again.

That bastard.

.

"This- is Theo," Draco stated drolly. "Theo, these are my dogs."

"We're not dogs," Donovan growled.

Draco rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. "Canine… companions then."

Theo snorted.

"What are you laughing at?" Donovan snapped, his lips pulling back over his teeth.

Theo's eyes darkened. "You, bitch."

Draco pressed one hand into Donovan's chest and the other into Theo's. He really didn't feel like fighting another werewolf and was starting to regret bringing Theo along to meet his wolves. Fergus took a step up to stand at Donovan's shoulder and Kenna snapped her jaws on the other side. Draco was pleased to see that she looked like she was doing better.

Good. They needed to get back to work.

He pushed them apart and then placed himself between them. "No killing the help."

"Fine," Theo and Donovan said together and then glared at each other.

Draco stifled a smirk.

"The fuck are you doing hanging around with the likes of them?" Theo asked out of the corner of his mouth as Draco resumed his original position.

He gave Theo a wry smile. "Werewolves have enhanced hearing."

Theo's face dropped as he looked at each of the three wolves in front of him.

"One of the many reasons why dogs are excellent hunters."

"I told you-"

Draco ignored Donovan and continued on. "They hunt Mudbloods for me."

Theo's interest suddenly sparked. "So that's how you've done it. Gotten so many of them. What's your count these days? The last reports I saw said you were at-"

"88," Donovan answered proudly.

"87," Draco corrected quickly. Donovan glanced at him and Draco glared daggers at him, wanting to pull the tongue from his head for slipping. He'd pay for that. Draco couldn't have him fucking up again.

"Uh, right," Donovan cleared his throat.

Theo looked to Draco who wiped the frosty look from his face then shrugged. "They ate one."

Kenna barked out a laugh when Theo's jaw dropped open.

"Nice teeth." She winked at him.

Theo closed his mouth then smiled, looking Kenna over slowly. "Nice t-"

"I'll knock those teeth she likes so much out of your skull if you say another word about my baby sister." Donovan was suddenly nose to nose with Theo and Draco sighed. He had brought Theo along to try and speed up the process. Now that Granger was safely tucked away, he didn't have to be so careful. Hunting Potter would be easier now. The wolves could find him and Draco would have back up so that way the Boy Who Wouldn't Fucking Die couldn't just slip away again.

"Touch me and you'll answer to him," Theo threatened, tugging up his sleeve to show off his mark. It was barely healed, the flesh around it still mottled with a deep bruise. Donovan growled at the sight of it and Fergus gnashed his teeth.

"Donnie, stop it! I was just having a little fun with the boy," Kenna whined.

Donnie? Merlin, and just when Draco was starting to like the wolf…

Donovan whipped his head over his shoulder. "Not with his kind, alright? You know that." He turned towards Kenna. "He's got the mark. You know what that means."

Draco felt like poison was dripping inside him. Who the fuck did this animal think he was looking down on a goddamn Pureblood wizard who bore the mark of the most powerful man to ever live? What did this flea bitten mongrel fucking know about it? Nothing. Fucking nothing.

So far, Draco had let his wolves do his dirty work for him, but now that he had Theo back, his canine companions were about to see what being a Death Eater actually meant.

"You want to have some fun, Kenna?" Draco asked, letting the words play on his tongue.

She nodded.

"Good. We've have new prey to hunt."

Kenna huffed. "It's always "work work work" with you, isn't it Malfoy?"

"You don't seem to mind it when I hand you your gold."

"You still owe us for the last one." Fergus said under his breath, picking something out from under one of his nails.

"You'll get it," Draco snapped at Fergus and when the wolf didn't lift his eyes Draco slowly turned away from him, letting his lids hang low over his eyes in disdain.

In fact, Draco had gone to Gringotts on his way here and the goblin had told him his expense account had been emptied. He didn't have time for this shit right now, he was supposed to meet Theo and then the wolves. Draco swore at the goblin and then threatened that by the time he got back, his gold better be back in his vault or the goblin was going in there.

He knocked over the brass scales, making sure to cause a scene before he stormed out, boots thudding heavily against the tiled floor.

He would have to speak with his dear Father.

But first, he had business to attend to.

"We're not hunting Mudbloods anymore," Draco announced, forcing their attention back on him. Kenna and Fergus followed Donovan's lead and Donovan squared his broad shoulders, rolling them and cracked his neck. Seeing that he was on board made any objects from Fergus and Kenna die.

Theo on the other hand had gotten bolder the last few months without Draco and eyed him suspiciously. That was fine. He'd remember who was in charge soon enough.

"What are we hunting then?" Theo asked with an edge in his tone.

"The only prey that matters now." Granger was protected in the cage. She was unhappy in the cage, but at least she was with him. So now, it was time to end the war and start their lives together.

Draco smirked. "Potter."

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Hermione woke up to the room brighter than she had ever seen it. It was snowing and the swirling white outside the window was bringing a strange glow in with it. She should be cold on a morning like this, but she was tucked snuggly under the covers with a thick arm under her head and another wrapped around her ribs neatly.

Draco.

He was spending more and more time out of the room, but crawled into the bed with her every night and without fail, they woke up tangled together each morning. She would pull herself away, let the coldness of his absence stir her body and think.

Hermione spent almost all of her time thinking these days.

Not that she had much else to do. Draco had taken her list of books, but hadn't brought her any of them back. She wasn't going to ask for them again though, her pride wouldn't allow her. As much as she wanted something to help pass the time, she would not beg him.

He would enjoy it too much.

She stared at the tapestry on the wall as she did every morning. Threads woven together to spin a deer, tall and proud, with golden antlers stretching up into sharp tines. The dark eyes seemed to stare back at her. Behind the deer were silver streaked wolves, tongues lolling out of their mouths and white teeth gnashing as they leap forward.

Sometimes, she imagined the deer flitting away and taking off into the dense woods woven behind it. But most days, Hermione sat and imagined the wolves tearing into it, bringing it down and breaking it's golden antlers.

She missed Harry. She spent hours wondering where he was, hoping he was okay. What he had thought when he got back to the tent and she was gone? Did he think she had abandoned him like Ron had? Had he looked for her? How long had he stayed there in the Forest of Dean, hoping she would come back?

Maybe they should have stayed longer after Ron left. Maybe… maybe he tried to come back. Maybe he didn't mean it. He had been wearing the locket and they had been fighting about Draco when Harry came in with his announcement.

If she hadn't been dreaming of Draco, if she hadn't let him stay in her head for months then maybe they would all still be together. How was Harry going to do this on his own? As much as she wanted her wand back, Hermione was glad that Harry had it. Thinking of him out there defenseless was more than she could stand.

What would Draco have done if he had found Harry instead of her? Hermione looked over her shoulder and saw his marble carved face. His eyes looked sunken, even in sleep, and the bruised circles under his eyes had not faded from the night before. She remembered how soft his face looked in the Room of Requirement when she had woken up next to him, how he had looked calm and serene. Now, this Draco looked just as conflicted as he did awake.

His brows were tense and heavy over his eyes. His lips pressed tightly together and his jaw clenched under the pale skin. She wanted to kiss it, run her lips over the sharp line from his chin up to his ear. She could smell the crisp mint on him and Hermione closed her eyes, trying not to make any noise as she breathed in deeply, wanting to take it all in.

When she opened them again, he was staring back at her. Hermione stilled, not trusting herself to move an inch in his arms. She remembered hearing that predators were triggered by prey running and her instincts told her to stay as still as possible. She didn't think Draco would hurt her by any means, but she was already wrapped up in him with her heart pounding in her chest. She was more scared of what she would do than what he could.

Draco blinked and the grey of his eyes turned to a soft and misty. She hurt. She physically hurt with him looking at her like that. Draco. Her Draco. Still there. Just like the earth buried under the snow outside right now, he was still deep in there, waiting, huddled in the cold.

But here, tucked away in their bed, it was warm and soft and safe. Maybe she could get him to come out. Because she was sure if she could just… break into wherever Draco was hiding inside himself, she could… could…

With all her thinking she wasn't entirely sure what she could or what she even would do. All she knew was that she wanted a chance to make that choice.

She didn't know how long she had sat there, staring into the hazey grey of Draco eyes, but his brow had relaxed and his lips had turned up ever so slightly. He breathed in and then let it out slowly, pulling his arm around her a little tighter. Hermione let him.

The muscle hardened as a sharp cry sounded from outside. Draco lifted his head and Hermione turned to see a large owl soaring towards the window.

Without missing a beat, Draco nimbly pulled himself from around her and out of the bed. He placed a hand on the handle of the drawer beside the bed and whispered a few words making it pop open. Hermione sat up to see Draco pull out his wand and snap it back shut.

He was locking it away. Now that he didn't keep her in a cage at night, he was keeping his wand safely away from her. She had her chance at it once and had now lost it. Hermione sunk back down into the bed.

The great bird flapped his wings silently outside the window, stirring the thick flakes of snow as Draco crossed the room quickly and unlocked it, vanishing the bars to let the owl soar in before locking them back into place and testing them with a quick shake. Satisfied, he closed the window again and Hermione huddled under the covers as the cold air raced into the large expanse of the room.

Draco didn't seem to mind it one bit, dressed in his white t-shirt and black boxer briefs. He stuck his wand into the band of his boxers and followed the owl to a perch in a darkened corner. Crookshanks jumped up on the arm of the chaise and let out a loud yowl as Draco pulled a few treats out and handed them to the owl, brushing snow off of its large wings in a surprisingly gentle gesture.

The owl clicked its beak happily and swiveled it's head around to look straight at her. Hermione's eyes enlarged to match the bird's and her mouth fell open. It was the owl from the woods. The one that had followed them for weeks and watched her every time she went off on her own. It was Draco's.

"His name is Calix," Draco stated, his back still turned to her. "And he's the world's worst owl."

Calix snapped his beak and Draco fed him another treat. Crookshanks meowed loudly again and Draco sighed, throwing a few treats onto the chaise for him. Crookshanks jumped down onto the cushion and went at them, purring as he did so.

"Got some work to do and then you'll have to take some letters to London, alright?" Draco said softly, inspecting Calix's talons. "Get some rest and don't fucking fly off again."

He dusted his hands off and walked back to the window.

"You spied on me?" Hermione said, barely able to force the words from her mouth.

Draco looked over at her. "You weren't actually sleeping."

So he was going to lie to her about it then. She should have expected as much. "Not this morning. Before. With him." She pointed at the owl who was preening his feathers.

Draco's face was blank, white marble. "What are you talking about?" He had gotten very good at feigning ignorance because Hermione almost believed his act.

She almost believed everything because she wanted to so badly. Just a few moments ago she had been happy, lying in his arms and yet the first thing he did as soon as he got up was lie to her again. What was even the point? She was already here. What did he stand to lose by telling her the truth?

Hermione got out of the bed, her thin lace dress not offering much protection against the chill air he had let in, but she didn't want to lie in that bed for a moment longer.

"Why did you bring me here?"

Draco turned around, the white snow silhouetted around him.

Hermione took a step towards him, tilting her head up a little. "Well, Draco?"

Draco's jaw tightened for a moment. He looked away from her.

"To keep you safe."

"I was doing fine before-"

Draco took a step forward. "No, you fucking weren't. You were delirious with fever when I found you!"

"I would have been fine!"

"NO!" Draco shouted. "You would have been scooped up by a Snatcher and sold off to the Ministry! Hell, Granger, you didn't even have a wand!"

"I had my friends!"

Draco stopped short and she watched something flash in his eyes. "Yeah," he sneered. "Your precious little friends. Tell me, did they keep you warm at night too, Granger? Did you crawl in their beds and-"

"You're disgusting."

"I don't hear you denying it."

Hermione glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "No, Draco. No, I didn't. I spent every night, alone, thinking about you!"

He blinked. And his lips started to curl up again.

Hermione raised her chin. "Thinking about what you did to me. How you lied to me and let Death Eaters into our school. How you cursed me and tried to kidnap me. How you hurt me and… left me."

She took a deep breath and went on. "I spent months trying to hate you. Sitting around in a tent and listening to my two best friends fight and running from people trying to kill us all while you slept soundly in your giant house and fancy bed so you would be well rested when you went out there to snatch Muggleborns and turn them in yourself so don't try to act like you're so much better just because you put me in a cage here instead of at the Ministry!"

Draco straightened up. Goodness. "You think you know anything about me? You think you know what I was doing? You don't have a fucking clue what I did to get you back!"

"No one asked you to!"

"You didn't have to!" Draco was towering over her. "It's what you do for someone you love!"

Hermione's breath caught in her throat. Along with her heart. She swallowed and took a deep breath.

"You might love me, but you don't respect me. Draco, you've cursed me. You've kidnapped me. You've chained and caged me. What are you going to do next? What is your grand plan? And don't tell me it's living happily ever after because I don't think your boss would be too happy if you married a Muggleborn especially one that-"

Draco sighed heavily. He dropped his head. "Granger, I…" She watched his shoulders slump right before he said, "I have no intentions of marrying you."

She hadn't been expecting a proposal or even really sure she wanted one, but it didn't make the swooping feeling of her heart falling somewhere in between her feet any less jarring.

"I'm a Malfoy, there are certain things expected of me. Things I will have to do. But that doesn't mean that I don't…" He braced himself. "You'll never want for anything. I'll treat you like a queen, I promise, and… in the future, any child we might have will be well provided for."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Hermione scoffed. This was insane! Draco expected her to just stay here, with him, and be his… his mistress? To play out his fantasies like a good little whore? Is this what she was being reduced to? "So you expect me to just be kept and… and bred? Like a pet?!"

"No!" Draco countered. "I just… I thought you'd-" He pinched his lips. "It won't always be like this. After the war things will be… different. I'll make them different. For us."

"No-"

"I told you I'd fix this and I will." Draco advanced on her. "It's not exactly what I planned, but that doesn't mean it won't work. Anyways, none of my responsibilities will have to be fulfilled for years. And even after, it won't make a difference. Not to me. It'll be good, I promise. Just like before."

"I don't want-"

"Yes, you do. You want me, you want this. If you didn't, you wouldn't be asking about it. You're trying to find a way to make this work, just like me."

"I'm nothing like you."

"Yes you are, Sweetheart. You're exactly like me."

"No…"

He brushed the back of his fingers against her cheek and Hermione shuddered at the feeling. She did want a life like that; with a partner, a family one day. And she couldn't imagine herself ever wanting someone else the way she wanted Draco. But… she didn't want it to have it like this. Being a dirty little secret. A Mudblood whore.

"We're supposed to be together. You know we are, kitten." His fingers pushed into her hair and Hermione's lip trembled. Draco's eyes darkened as he watched it. She bit it to try to stop it, but Draco only grabbed her hip, pulling her towards him. The thin dress felt like nothing between them and goosebumps rose on her flesh spreading out in tendrils from the coolness of his touch.

"This is it. This is what we get in this fucked up mess. Nothing about this world is what I want, except for this. For you. So let me have this one thing." His hand slid down over her hip and stomach to where her thigh met her torso. "Let me have you and I'll give you everything you've been missing. Because fuck, Granger, I've missed you."

And she had missed him. More than she thought possible. Even being here with him, she still missed him. But this wasn't right. It wasn't! Draco was wrong, this wasn't all they had. They could have so much more than this and be so much more…

He had tried before. He had wanted that before. He had been willing to leave it behind on the tower, so why was he so set on staying and living in this world now? He could have stayed and fought. At least for her. She would have fought for him too. She would have told everyone that he was a good man, deep down. Harry said Dumbledore had offered him help along with protection for his family. Certainly the Order would have respected it's Leader's dying wish?

"I'm not the one who left."

Draco's hand dropped from her face.

"What changed? From the tower to the grounds, what changed, Draco?"

His eyes hardened into granite. "What do you think happened on the tower?"

"You tried to save Dumbledore-"

"No, Granger," Draco let out a short breath. "I tried to bargain for you. His life for yours."

Her heart faltered.

"But… Harry said-"

"And what would Potter know about it?"

"He was there," Hermione stated, "On the tower that night. He was- under his cloak. He… heard… you."

Draco's expression was completely reticent. She had no idea what he was thinking or feeling or… anything and she would give her green toothbrush if only he would be honest with her.

"You went up on that tower to try and change things and you came down-"

"For you. I went up there for you. I came down for you too. I tried to fix it and it didn't work. I tried to take you away from it and it didn't work. Granger, don't you get it? There is no other way! I tried! And I failed. And you-" Draco breathed in through his nose. "The only thing I'm good at, the only way to protect you, is to be a Death Eater."

"So that's it. You aren't even going to-" Hermione's breath caught in her throat.

"There's plenty I'm going to do." He trailed his hand up the length of her body, leaving a hot trail of burning skin in his wake until two fingers came to rest under her chin, tilting her head back. "Starting with finding Potter and ending this damned war so we can get on with our lives."

Her blood stilled in her veins and when it started again fear pulsed through her. Draco hadn't been alone that night. There had been people out there, working for him. They could be searching for Harry right now. Her mind raced with anxiety, a million little thoughts that stabbed into her like knives. She couldn't lose Harry. Not after everything they had been through. It sickened her to think that Draco might be the one to throw Harry down at Voldemort's feet.

She knew he always resented Harry, maybe even truly hated him, but to bring him in to be killed, murdered? Draco had gone to school with him, shared classes and played him in Quidditch. He knew Harry. Knew what kind of person he was. Knew what he meant to her. And he'd still hand Harry over to be slaughtered.

"Don't. Please don't. I won't ever ask you for anything else, just please don't hurt Harry."

Harry was the Chosen One, the only hope they had. She had asked for books, so she could keep researching to help him, but none of that mattered if he was… She couldn't even think the word, let alone say it.

The muscles of his jaw clenched and the tendons in his neck tightened until she could see a vein throbbing there.

"Why? So you can run off and leave me for him again? It'll be better once he's gone."

"NO!"

Hermione pushed her hands into his chest, but Draco didn't move. Instead she was the one who fell back, landing on the soft sheets of their unmade bed. Her legs were thrown open and she looked down at the unblemished skin of her inner thigh where Draco's mark had rested for so long. She had gotten so used to it that it didn't even look like her leg anymore without the imprint of his mouth marking her as his.

She pushed the long curls out of her face and looked up to see Draco staring at the exact same spot she had just been. Carefully she pulled the white lace dress back down over it and watched as his expression changed back into… nothing.

"Draco… don't do this," she pleaded. "Please. For me."

Draco exhaled slowly. "That's why I have to."

He turned away from her and walked across the room to the wardrobe. She watched the snow falling outside of the window while he dressed. His belt clanked as he latched it and Hermione rubbed her arms to comfort herself as Draco laced up his boots.

The door opened and closed and Hermione waited to hear it lock, but it did not come. She turned around, feeling like she was almost floating out of her body as her eyes locked on the door on the far side of the room. Could it be...

Then it opened again. Draco walked in with his arms full of books. He glared at her and dumped them in a pile onto the bed next to her. It was everything. Every single book she had asked for.

She looked up at him. His eyes were cold. It was a trade; the books she asked for, the things she wanted- for what he wanted.

"I'll never forgive you if you hurt him. Ever."

"I'd never forgive myself if I lost you again." He headed for the door. To hunt down Harry so he could keep her here forever. She was disgusted by him. How could he want this? Want her like this? Would he sell more Muggleborns on his hunt for Harry? Torture people? Kill people? She had thought she'd seen the real him for a moment this morning in his mist grey eyes, but the hard iron ones staring back at her now were undeniable.

"You're a monster!"

Draco smirked at her and flicked his wand. Hermione jumped back as the bars lifted into place for the first time in over a week. "That's what the cage is for, pet."

.

If Theo didn't shut the fuck up about fucking Quidditch, he was going to blow their cover.

"Quintley is a fine Seeker, but he's all flash and no follow-through. He loses the snitch more than he catches it because all he does is show off. There's no substance to his technique. Take the match against Puddlemere- he practically handed the damn ball to Walsh. Did you see it, Draco? He actually pushed it into his hand!"

Draco pinched his lips tight. "Theo," he forced out between gritted teeth. "We're working."

Theo leaned against the side of the house. "You're working. I'm waiting."

Narrowing his eyes behind his mask, Draco snarled, "You could help."

With a sigh Theo answered, "You seem to have it covered."

Draco had gotten quite good at ward work over the last couple months. Studying the Manor's, designing his own, and feeling for Granger's in the woods. He had become quite adept at finding the seals of the spells and picking the locks. It was meticulous and mind numbing work. Almost as bad as fixing the Cabinet. He fucked hated it.

Just because he was good at something didn't mean he liked doing it.

"Take the mask off, it might help." Theo leaned his head back and looked up at the dark sky.

"What would help is you shutting your fucking mouth. No, I haven't seen any bloody Quidditch matches, Theo. I've been a bit busy the past couple of months. There's a war on, in case you haven't heard."

"It's all I fucking hear about anymore," Theo grumbled. "What, being a Death Eater means you can't have a hobby?"

Draco stopped working. "You're a servant of the Dark Lord now."

"I know," Theo groaned.

"Do you?" Draco asked and Theo rolled his head against the side of the house to look over at him. "Because you do know we are supposed to wear our masks when we are working."

"Piss off," Theo sneered and lifted himself from the wall, walking a few feet away just to turn and come back right back. Draco was about two seconds away from giving up on the wards and turning his wand on Theo when the protective enchantments cracked under his pressure and a quick Alohomora had the door swinging open.

Baby boy should have stayed with his parents. Magical homes had layers of protections, flats in Essex did not.

"Theo wait-" Draco slammed his hand into Theo's chest and stopped him from rushing ahead.

"What?" he snarled.

"When we get in there, follow my lead. You're new to this and-"

"I know what to fucking do, Draco!"

"Shut up!" Draco hissed and glanced into the darkened flat. "No. You don't fucking know. You can't run in there wand waving and expect-"

Theo shoved past him, rolling his eyes as he put his mask on.

"Goddamn it, Nott!"

Draco surged in after him.

Stupid fucking Theo had his wand lit and was holding it up, casting a bright white light into the darkened room.

Draco smacked his wand against Theo's forcing it to the ground and snapped, "Nox" extinguishing the tip of Theo's wand.

"The fuck are you doing?" Theo argued.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Draco hissed.

"Who's there?!"

Fuck.

Fucking Theo had fucked up the plan in the first fucking minute. Draco glared behind his metal mask, meeting Theo's angry gaze and shoved him back roughly. He would deal with him after he dealt with this motherfucker.

McLaggen had it coming.

Draco spun and shot a stunning spell into the doorway. There was a grunt and a thud. Followed by a high pitched scream. Well, shit.

"Who's that?" Theo asked breathlessly.

"I don't know," Draco snarled. "Maybe if you had done some recon while I took down the wards we would fucking know."

"You didn't tell me to do recon!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?! What do you think I brought you here for?"

"OH MY GOD! CORMAC!"

Draco gritted his teeth behind his mask and turned back to see McLaggen starting to wake up. Good. He had sent a weak stunner just wanting to knock him on his ass. Draco wanted him awake for this. He passed out too quickly last time. He got off easy compared to what he should have gotten.

Not this time.

"Get him up and get the lights on," Draco ordered and Theo moved into the room, flicking his wand and McLaggen's limp body lifted up as he groaned unhappily, casting a dark shadow on the wall as he rose higher.

Draco took a heavy step into the bedroom. There was a girl with light brown hair clinging to the sheets with one hand and a wand outstretched with the other. At the sight of their masks she screamed again. Draco looked at Theo and tilted his head smugly. Theo dropped McLaggen on the bed and he moaned again as the bed bounced under him making the girl drop the sheets and scramble to pick them back up.

"Wh-what do you wa-want?" she whimpered, alternating her wand between Theo and Draco before finally deciding to keep it on Draco.

Hmm. Not dumb. Maybe McLaggen had a type.

"Throw your wand down."

The girl was shaking, small sobs escaping her as tears leaked down her face. Draco counted to three then sliced his wand through the air and the girl's went flying, twisting across the dark room and Draco caught it easily before tossing it to Theo. "Hold that for me."

She screamed again. It was shrill and fucking annoying.

"Shut the fuck up."

The girl's mouth snapped shut. Her immediate obedience shocked him for a moment. Maybe McLaggen really did have a type. He had tried for Granger after all. Black spots danced in Draco's vision as he tried not to think about McLaggen's hands on her, kissing her, thinking about what he wanted to do to her.

Fuck. Fuck that.

McLaggen was rubbing his head, leaning on his elbow and trying to sit up. Draco aimed his wand right at McLaggen's perfect, not fucked up at all, chest.

He pulled the pain up from deep in him and it jumped at his command, sliding down the length of his wand easily and streaming a dark red light that made McLaggen's shadow twist and turn in agony.

A cool, calm shiver passed through Draco at the sound of McLaggen crying out in pain. He felt like he could breathe a little easier as the magic moved through him, uncoiling and slithering down his arm as Draco held the curse for one two three seconds more before lifting it and McLaggen's screams died.

The girl was still going though.

"Theo." Draco jerked his head towards her and Theo swatted his wand in her direction and the screams died in her throat. Thank Salazar. At least he was good for something.

McLaggen was gasping, face down on the bed, struggling to gain control of his body again. Draco knew the feeling well. He could handle it whereas McLaggen was twitching like a little bitch.

Why the fuck did Granger agree to go out with him in the first place?

Pussy.

Draco did it again. Adrenaline coursed through him, spreading into his fingertips. His blood quickened in his veins, moving so quickly it almost felt warm. Or maybe that was the heat coming from the energy of the curse. Either way, he liked it.

He would have preferred a different activity to get his heart pumping tonight, but, this would do in the meantime.

By the time he was done, McLaggen was sweating; his curly blond hair sticking to his head, and he was choking on air as he tried to swallow it down while his body forced pathetic little sobs up against it. Draco didn't notice he was laughing until Theo asked him what was so funny.

His face hurt. He hadn't smiled this much in… Draco blinked. Shit.

He should be smiling every day. Hanging over her, having her tell him how much she loved him, running her hands over his chest and pulling her legs up around him. Whispering his name in her breathy voice, "Draco…"

He didn't think he'd truly smiled at her once since she removed the mark. Not that she had smiled back either.

And yet here he was, torturing Cormac fucking McLaggen because he kissed her last year and if Draco couldn't kiss her then no one got to and unfortunately for McLaggen he was still within Draco's reach. Which meant he got to do this.

"Crucio!"

McLaggen went stiff, his arms clamping to his side as his whole body jerked violently. He seemed to be bending unnaturally and Draco twisted his wrist, focusing the curse to centralize the pain. McLaggen convulsed and fell on the floor.

"Shit!"

"STOP STOP! YOU'RE KILLING HIM!"

Draco didn't stop. McLaggen had kissed Granger. She had let this nobody, this nothing of a person kiss her and she wouldn't let him. McLaggen would have never done a single thing to keep her. Hell, he had given up on her as soon as Draco put a little pressure on him. He didn't deserve Granger. Draco did. Draco had done everything, anything he had to in order to get her back, get her safe.

And that bitch had made him watch the mark on her thigh fade away into her creamy skin that she didn't let him touch anymore.

She would though. It wasn't over. Couldn't be over. He wouldn't let it. Not after everything he had done. Not now. Not ever.

McLaggen was foaming at the mouth, his jaws locked together and Draco watched with mild interest as the foam turned pink and then red.

Interesting.

Draco lifted the curse and McLaggen's mouth fell open, dropping his severed tongue onto the floor.

McLaggen started to make a moaning screaming sound and covered his bleeding, foaming mouth with his hand.

"Fucking disgusting." Theo wrinkled his nose. "How the hell are we supposed to get information from him now though?"

Draco lifted his eyes from the fleshy nub on the ground to Theo, who was looking a little pale at the sight of fresh blood.

He had forgotten. He had completely forgotten that he had told Theo they were here to question McLaggen about Potter's whereabouts. How, he wasn't sure because they had argued about it for at least half an hour.

"Why don't you send the wolves to track him down?" Theo asked.

"I'm not paying them if I already know where he is. Anyways, this is Death Eater work. They're dogs."

Theo grinned. "Not all of them."

Draco raised a brow up. "You'd fuck a werewolf?"

"Not when she's all 'grr'," Theo shrugged, "but when she's all girl… You mean you haven't?"

"Been a bit busy," Draco sniffed.

"Have her blow you then. I'm sure she knows how to lick."

Draco sneered at him. "I don't like dog breath."

"You don't seem to like anything these days. You're fucking boring."

"And you're on my last nerve, Theo, so if you don't want me to ask someone else-"

"Merlin, you're touchy! Maybe after we catch Potter, you can take some time to get yourself laid so you can stop being a prick all the time."

"Maybe I'll ask Crabbe or Goyle to come along instead. They might be dumb, but at least they're quiet."

"Still at Hogwarts." Theo smiled broadly. "You're stuck with me until the end of the year."

"Not if I kill you," Draco grumbled. He needed to find Potter and fast. Five months of Theo was too much. Hell, he barely making it through tonight.

Theo leaned over to inspect the severed tongue on the floor. "Gross."

Draco looked away. He didn't want to see it, lying there, thick and fleshy.

At least now McLaggen wouldn't try to shove it down Granger's throat. Now that it was gone, it was time to take the rest.

"Watch and learn, Theo." Draco crouched down and aimed his wand in between McLaggen's wide eyes. The blood vessel had popped and turned the whites red making them match the bleeding hole of his mouth. It was almost a shame to erase such a well taught lesson.

But it was worse to let this pathetic excuse of a wizard keep the memories of his fucking girl.

"Legilimens," Draco whispered and was overwhelmed with images of the brown haired girl's ass shaking as McLaggen fucked her from behind.

Boring.

Open skies, bright white clouds and warm sun, a large Quaffle coming right at him.

Stupid.

Graduating from Hogwarts. Climbing back into the boat and feeling it move across the Lake. The far shore coming into view.

Pathetic.

He moved deeper. It wasn't difficult, McLaggen barely had any fight left in him and the memories of Granger weren't buried as far as Draco would have liked. They had been touched recently. Draco coiled his mind around the memories of Slughorn's party and pulled them forward.

Granger in her pretty pink dress with her tits pushed up. Fuck. He could remember how they felt that night. McLaggen did too. Draco twisted his wand, "Obliviate."

Granger under the mistletoe, her cinnamon eyes going big right before lips landed on hers. Lips that weren't his. She made a small noise and Draco growled deep in his chest. "Obliviate."

Granger's small hand, soft and warm. Holding his back. But not Draco's. She looked up. And smiled. Her face. Granger's pretty little face, smiling and happy. A little nervous, but hopeful. Innocent. Pure. Nothing like the fallen, soulful eyes that had followed him out of the bedroom before he locked her inside of it again. Fuck. "OBLIVIATE!"

A bloody bubble burst out of McLaggen's mouth as Draco slithered back out of his mind.

He could hardly breathe. His chest was heavy, made of lead. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't fucking breathe.

"Shit, did he do something to you?" Theo sounded very far away. The room was getting darker. He couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe in this mask. He needed it off. He needed to get out. Out. Out.

Draco pulled the mask off of him and sucked in a breath. McLaggen's eyes went wide. They were all he could see; everything else was fading to black. It was just those terrible bloodshot eyes and horrible tongueless mouth staring back at him.

Then he was blinded by a bright green light. "Avada Kedavra!"

He stopped breathing. He didn't even try. He just stared right into those unblinking bloody eyes.

Slowly he began to hear screaming.

"Draco!" Theo's voice was still far away. "Fuck- Draco!"

His chest was empty, hollow. The white walls in his mind shook violently, dust rained down on him. Down on him because… because he was on the ground. He was on the floor staring into McLaggen's dead eyes and seeing her face over and over and over.

Someone pulled him up, leaning him back against the bed and the screaming got louder.

Dead. McLaggen was fucking dead and his tongue on was the ground next to his dead eyes.

"Draco! Are you okay?"

Theo's voice was suddenly too loud, the girl's screams were echoing in his head, and McLaggen was still dead.

He looked up at Theo, mouth dry and heart pounding.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Theo shouted and waved his wand through the air. The screaming stopped with a thud and was followed by muffling crying.

It made the thundering heartbeat in his ears feel even louder. McLaggen's heart wasn't beating anymore, but there was still blood slowly leaking out of his mouth. Dumbledore had just fallen. He had died and then he was gone, but McLaggen was still here. Draco watched as the blood stopped and then pushed himself up onto shaky legs.

"We have to kill her."

Draco's head snapped in Theo's direction. He had his wand trained on the girl in the bed, curled up and crying.

"She saw your face, she heard your name."

"Because you fucking said it."

"Your mask was already off!" Theo argued. "And everyone knows the Malfoys."

Draco glanced at the girl who looked up nervously at him. Theo came to stand at his side. "Do it. Kill her and let's go."

"Please," she whimpered, face crumpling in fear. "Please… I… I won't tell anyone, I swear!"

Draco looked down at McLaggen. She knew. She knew who he was and what they had done here. They, because Draco brought Theo here and then wasn't strong enough when he saw Granger like she should be. Happy and hopeful, not trapped in a room, locked away from the world.

But, if he let her out into the world, he could be looking down at her dead body like he was at McLaggen's. It had happened in a second, in a single moment. She could be gone just as quick and there would be no getting her back after that. Granger would be gone and he would be… here. Draco turned and looked at the girl on the bed.

And lifted his wand.

"You... " she gasped, "you don't have to do this! I… I won't… please… please!"

"Theo, go," Draco ordered, his voice low and steady. "Make sure our way out is clear."

Theo gave a sharp nod and the girl cried out, "NO!"

Draco waited until he heard the door shut and then took a heavy step towards her. Anything to be away from the dead body.

"Name and Blood Status."

She kept crying, sitting in the bed and clutching the covers and bawling her fucking eyes out.

"NOW!"

"St-Steph-anie," she hiccuped, "Tow-Towler." Draco waited as she added a few extra syllables to her name in sobs. He raised his brows. "I'm a-a-a Half-blo-od!"

Draco rolled his eyes. If she was a Mudblood he could just take her in, but arresting a Halfblood he would need a reason for and-

"Did you just say Towler?"

The girl nodded, sucking in three quick breaths.

"Fuck."

Halfbloods, yes, but they had connections. No matter she was here with McLaggen then, his family was always at the Ministry too. Fucking social climbers.

"Please, I… I won't tell-"

"I know you won't," Draco moved to the side of the bed and looked down at her. The tears made her eyes look bigger than he knew they normally would be, but at least it wasn't pools of melted chocolate staring up at him. Hers were blue.

Tears spilled out of them.

"Shh," Draco wiped his wand over her cheek, drying it. "Don't cry. Do you know Dolores Umbridge?"

She nodded. "She's… my aunt."

Thank fuck he didn't kill her then. The death of Umbridge's niece would certainly raise questions and attention was the last fucking thing Draco wanted. His absence in the field had already been noted.

"See, I knew you were a good girl." He slid his wand over the other half of her face, vanishing the tears there as well. "I know you're aunt quite well. She is… a close associate of mine. We have tea almost once a week."

The girl went silent.

"So I know that she would be very upset to hear about her lovely niece," he pushed some of her hair back over her shoulder, "was caught in bed with someone protecting Mudbloods."

"W-what?"

Draco gave a deep nod. "That's why we are here. McLaggen has been helping the Order." It was a lie, but so were half the things people were arrested for these days. "Your aunt is very powerful and guards her position carefully. But a close family member associating with someone like that…" He tutted a few times, shaking his head. "He's a criminal. And if anyone were to know you were here, in bed with him, especially your aunt-"

"No, no, no!" She inched closer to Draco. "Please don't tell her! She… she-"

"I know," Draco said, softening his voice to comfort the poor girl. She turned white with fear. Good. "I know what she would do. She is a high level Ministry official and can't have anyone in her family casting doubt on her allegiance. I'm sure you know how strict she can be."

The little bit of color that was left drained out of her face.

"But I can tell this was all just a misunderstanding. You would never willingly betray our new Ministry, would you?" She shook her head nervously. "I would hate to have to chase a pretty thing like you down and haul you in for sentencing. Or…" Draco glanced back at McLaggen's still form. "I might have to take you to the Dark Lord himself."

"NO!" she shrieked and reached out to cling onto Draco's black robes. There were layers of clothes between them but he could still feel the pressure of her hands against the scars on his chest. It didn't feel like when Granger touched them. It didn't feel like anything but a dull numbness. "PLEASE! I'll do anything! Anything!"

Draco cocked a brow up. "Anything?"

She swallowed. Then nodded.

"You'll need to be very, very good for me."

"I… I will," she breathed out, voice shaking.

Draco smirked. Modified memories could be broken into if tried hard enough and based on the way he had to pry her hands from his robes, Draco safely assumed she was the clingy type. If she didn't remember what happened to her boyfriend, she might ask the wrong person questions and get taken into interrogation herself.

Fear worked as a much better deterrent.

"If I ever find out you breathed a word of this to anyone, I will hunt you down and let my werewolves eat your pretty face off your head. You know," he traced his wand over the apple of her cheek, "there actually isn't anything holding your face onto your skull other than the skin. And it comes off so easily…"

Tears spilled over onto her cheeks again, but this time Draco did not wipe them away.

"I p-promise…"

"You wouldn't be the first bitch I tracked down and threw into a cage." He tossed her back onto the bed. "So unless you want to end up in one, wait ten minutes and then disapparate to wherever the fuck you sleep at when you aren't sucking a traitor's cock and don't ever let me see you again. Understood?"

She nodded so emphatically Draco thought she might actually break her neck. He wanted out of this room. Out of this place. Out of everything and back into Granger. Into her arms, into her heart, into her cage. He would lock himself up in there with her and hold her and feel her and McLaggen's bloodless face would disappear and she would be warm and soft and not cold and stiff like the body sitting right fucking there.

Draco made it into the hall before he vomited the contents of his stomach onto the floor. Twice. He should go back and kill the girl. Explain it away to Umbridge or blackmail her with the fact that her niece was in on it with McLaggen.

But… fuck. He couldn't. Just thinking about the green light made him feel like he was going to be sick again.

The night air would help.

Draco forced himself outside and nearly ran into Theo.

"Everything taken care of?" Theo asked, trying to look over Draco's shoulder.

Draco snapped the door shut behind him. "Yeah. Let's go get a drink."

"What about the bod-"

Draco shoved his wand into Theo's throat. "Shut up," he growled.

"I was just ask-"

"You don't ask anymore, understood?" Draco pressed the tip of his wand into Theo's jugular. "You do as your fucking told. You follow orders. That's how this works!"

"Fuck, fine!" Theo grumbled and Draco released him. Theo adjusted his robes and pulled his mask off his face. "So, uh, was that your first?"

"First what?"

Theo looked back at the door. "First kill."

Draco went impossibly still. His spine might as well have turned to steel and his face slid easily into a blank expression.

"No."

"Oh. Uh, right."

"Yours?" Draco asked.

Theo looked back at the door. "Yeah," he said, his voice softening and eyes still glued to the door.

Shit. They needed to get the fuck out of here and fast. The girl could walk out at any moment and Draco didn't think he would be able to find a way out of it a second time.

"Well," he announced, "I think that deserves a drink, don't you say?"

Theo gave a nervous laugh and then his smile was back in place as if it had never been gone. Draco wondered if it was real or not, but before he could study it anymore Theo said, "Fuck yeah, let's go get wasted."

.

Hermione was running. It had been so long since she had done anything more than pace around Draco's bedroom, but now her heart was pumping, her breath was coming quickly, and she was throwing herself forward with each beating step. She was surprised to find herself not in the woods with leaves underfoot, but running on a long carpet stretching down a dark paneled hallway.

It wasn't the Ministry, she knew those black tiles well, and wherever she was now was lit with tapered candles sitting in ornate silver sconces. They rushed past her, flickering in her wake as she glanced over her shoulder. There was no one chasing her.

She could feel the difference. In her dreams she was always pushed forward by the innate feeling of being followed, but now… The long hallway was empty. She slowed, looking around at the panels of solid wood covering the long walls and reaching up to high ceilings above her. It looked vaguely familiar, as if she might have looked up at them once before.

Her chest rose and fell heavily and her legs pulsed with each thump of her heart, even at a standstill. She could feel it, the mark on her inner thigh. It was there, aching slightly as blood rushed the bruise. She missed it. Over the long months it had become a source of comfort to her, even if it was painful at the same time. It was hers. It was his. It was theirs.

Then an agonized cry pierced her ears and Hermione's body lurched forward instinctively. Someone was being hurt, tortured probably. She needed to get to them. Needed to help them. They sounded like they were dying.

She rushed forward, pushing herself on, making herself run faster down the carpeted hall, past doors with locked handles, past marble busts, and rich tapestries.

The screaming was getting louder, almost deafening. Whoever it was wasn't going to last much longer.

Ahead were a set of stairs leading down into darkness. She couldn't see where they ended and paused for just a moment, wondering if she should descend.

Then she heard her name. In an anguished, ripping voice, he was screaming out her name. "Hermione!"

"DRACO!"

Her lungs filled with air as she woke up, her body jutting up from her perfectly shaped pillow under her, but a cool hand wrapped around her neck and pushed her back down. The weight of his chest landed on hers and she was glad she had taken a breath as she came out of sleep because Draco's mouth was on hers before she could speak.

His lips moved against hers with the same barely controlled passion they always had, enveloping hers as his tongue snaked into her mouth bringing with it the crisp taste of mint and… whisky. It was strong enough to make her recoil, but his fingers were stronger, sliding up to her jaw and cheek, holding her in place under him. He moaned into her mouth, his nose pressing into her face as he dove in deeper.

Draco was stone drunk.

Hermione tried to push him off of her, but Draco gathered her wrists quickly, pulling her hands off of his chest and slamming it into hers, making her sink down into the bed. She moaned, but whether it was from want or refusal she wasn't sure. What she did know was it felt so good when she pressed herself back up against him, trying to dislodge him, but couldn't help enjoying the feeling of him against her again.

Goodness, she had missed him.

He lifted her wrists up, breaking the kiss for only a moment to shove them above her head. Hermione took this opportunity to turn her face away from him. His lips landed on the side of her mouth, wet and warm and still kissing her. Draco was trying to push her face back towards him, breathing out heavily and the scent of the fire whisky overwhelmed her again.

"No, Draco, stop-"

In all honesty, she expected him to keep kissing her, so she was surprised when Draco growled into her ear instead, grazing his teeth along it and then closing them over her lobe.

Hermione whimpered. With her hands pinned above her head, Draco's body pressed against her own, and his mouth on her skin again she felt the same curl of anticipation, the same rush of heat as she always had with him. She had to suppress the shiver that threatened to run through her as he breathed out heavily across her neck.

"I heard you," he whispered in a low, thick voice. "You want me. I heard you, Granger."

She did. She wanted him more than anything right now and it would be so easy to just let out the breathy 'yes' that was fighting against her lips. She could open them, let it out, and let Draco back in again.

She closed her eyes tightly. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't do this. Not when the war was still going on, people still dying, her friends still fighting. She couldn't hide away in here with Draco, letting the world spin itself into a spiral while they clung onto each other. Even if that felt like the only thing they had left.

But that was the thing, Draco wasn't the only thing she still had. She had her friends, her family and they all needed her too. And while Draco might be what she wanted most, this wasn't the way she wanted him. Not locked away in the darkness, trapped and hidden. She wanted him how they had been that last night together; smiling, laughing, and happy.

She couldn't keep refusing him. One of these times she wasn't going to be strong enough and the weaker part of her would finally win. Or lose. She wasn't sure anymore. She wasn't sure of so many things these days. All she knew was this, no matter how good it felt, was wrong. This Draco was wrong even if she still loved him with every beat of her heart. And the only way to stop that, stop this, was to break it.

And his too.

"You think I still want you? After what you've done? You're out of your mind."

Draco paused and his eyes hardened into granite. But something was different, this time. Hermione narrowed her eyes, looking closer. Cracks. He gradually let go of her wrist and Hermione brought her hands back down.

Draco sat back just a little and Hermione could see him trying to focus through the liquor. "Don't fucking say that."

He scrambled back off the bed, clumsily getting to his feet. Hermione didn't want to stay lying down for this so she threw the covers off of herself and jumped to her feet, exhaling sharply.

"Did you think I would just take you back? Draco you imperiused me. You kidnapped me- twice." Hermione began counting on her fingers. "You chained me, caged me. All so you can keep me locked up here like a dirty little secret while you take over the world for your Dark Lord-"

"Granger-" He reached out to lean against one of the posts as if her words were knocking him over.

"And you think I'm just going to sleep with you? That I am going to be okay with this? How dare you claim to love me when you treat me like this?!"

Draco swayed a little and Hermione took a step back in case he fell. Or tried to grab her. "You mean when I sacrifice everything to get you back? When I torture people to keep you safe? When I let them die so you can live? And you don't think I love you?"

Hermione was shaking from a combination of nerves, and rage. She didn't ask for him to save her. All she ever wanted was for him to treat her like a person, like an equal. So they could be together. Because even after everything he had done, everything he planned to do, she couldn't say she didn't still want him.

There was a gnawing guilt deep inside her too. This wasn't just hard for him to hear, it was hard for her to say too. Maybe she wasn't strong enough to keep refusing him, but she was strong enough to do this.

"You really thought I would be okay with this?"

"I thought-"

"That I would be a good little girl and let you do whatever you wanted to me? Who do you think I am, Draco?"

He chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment, pursing his lips together until they were white. "Mine."

Hermione lifted her chin, tilting her face up to look deep into his glazed eyes. "Not anymore."

He stepped towards her, closing the small space between them. Hermione tried to back up, but Draco followed her, matching her step for step. "You're lying."

"You can keep me caged up in your bed, but it doesn't mean that I will sleep with you ever again. Keep dreaming, Draco."

She was so angry it was making her head hurt. There was a pressure behind her eyes and she could feel her heart pounding in her ears. Her brain felt heavy while her body felt light. For a moment, she wondered if the strong smell of alcohol coming off Draco was starting to affect her.

"You're the one moaning and calling out my name. I think you're the one who is dreaming about it, Granger."

She couldn't help but think about her dreams of the woods, letting him catch her, letting him have her. Watching that mask slip away and Draco's smile shine through before catching his lips with her and begging him to fill her. Then suddenly Ron's face swam in front of her eyes and Draco snarled.

"Weasley? Fucking Weasley?!"

He had seen. He had dipped into her head and seen.

"You can't do that!" Hermione shouted.

Draco crowded her, looming over her. "You can't do that!"

"I didn't do anything!" she argued back. "Which is more than I can say for you!"

Draco's brows rose. "You think I fucked some other bitch? Granger, I was out there setting the world on fire! For YOU!"

"I didn't ask you to!" She was so angry she felt like she might cry. But she wouldn't. He wasn't going to get her tears.

"Yes, you did," he added darkly. "When you told me you loved me. When you told me you wanted to be with me. Did you think I would just give up? I promised you I would come for you."

"You promised me you'd never hurt me again first."

He clenched his jaw. "I didn't mean to."

"You never do, do you? You don't mean anything you say."

His voice was low and heavy. "I mean it when I say I love you."

"Well, don't!"

Draco let out a mirthless laugh. "Don't? A little late for that now, Granger!"

"Then… move on! That's what I did!"

"Like hell. I know you still care about me."

Hermione scoffed. "You don't know anything about me. Not anymore."

"No? Well if you've moved on then why didn't you fuck Weasley? Or Potter? Why am I still the only man you've ever let slither in between your legs?" He reached for her thigh and she smacked his hand away. Draco merely laughed.

She had almost forgotten how cruel he could be when he drank. "I'll never let you in again."

"Why not?" he asked quickly. "If it didn't mean anything to you, then why not sleep with me again?"

Hermione opened her mouth to answer then closed it again.

"Unless, of course," he mused, "it did mean something to you. Unless you think that fucking me again-"

"You're repulsive."

"-will bring back those feelings you're trying so hard to pretend you don't still have." Why? Why was he able to say the things she was never able to? He moved closer to her and ran hand down her arm. "I know you still have them, Granger. Because I can feel them. Here." He pulled on her hand and pushed it to his chest, over his heart.

Hermione could feel the strong beating of it under her hand. Before she could stop herself, she grabbed his shirt in her fist. Draco chuckled again. "See, pet? You still want to. Even if that big brain of yours tries to deny it." He leaned in and breathed out heavily against her lips. Hermione felt lightheaded again as she inhaled a rush of mint and whisky. "But I know how to make it shut up."

She pushed against him and pulled her hand from his chest. She didn't want this. Didn't want him to still make her feel like this. She hated the warmth that was spreading through her lower abdomen and dripping down inside her.

"Never again." Her voice was shaking, but she still said the words.

"Why?" Draco retorted, his storm grey eyes searching hers until lightning struck in them. "Oh… I know why." He smirked. "It's because you want to."

Hermione pursed her lips and breathed in through her nose. She tore her eyes away from him, looking past him at the opposite wall.

"You still want me. You want me so bad it's making you ache. And you know," he grabbed her face, turning her eyes back to his. "That if you let me in, even one more time, that you won't stop. You won't be able to. You know if your body remembers just how good I can make it feel that you won't ever be able to be anything but my willing whore again."

"I hate you." Her eyes burned with the tears she tried to hold back.

"No, you don't. You hate yourself because you know I'm right."

She was trembling. Her arms were pinned to her sides, she didn't trust herself to raise them, even to push him away because they might betray her and pull him down to her.

Draco's lids rested heavily over his eyes as he slid them down the length of her body, focusing on key areas while breathing heavily as if it was a struggle to only let his gaze touch her. Hermione turned her head to the side. She didn't want to see the dark lust clouding his eyes or the heavy way his chest rose and fell with each excited breath.

"I could make you." His voice was low and hoarse. "I could make you feel that again."

Cold fear shot through her. Someone had grabbed her lungs and was squeezing them inside her. She tried to push herself further into the wall, but there was nowhere else to go. Draco was towering over her, the lump in his throat bobbing as he swallowed. He pulled his wand from inside his robes.

"Draco…" she whispered pleadingly.

"You didn't fight it before," he said and she had the impression that he was talking to himself as well. "Once I'm inside you, you wouldn't stop me. You'd want it too much." He grabbed her hip with one hand and pressed his wand against her temple with the other.

Hermione whimpered. Her eyes filled with tears. Draco lowered his face close to hers and she could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"It's okay, kitten," he murmured. "I'll do this. I'll take the weight of it. You can still pretend that you didn't want to after." His forehead pressed against hers, lips less than an inch away. "You don't have to say anything. Just nod. Just nod and I'll do it. I'll make it good for you, I promise."

She was shaking so much she was afraid he would take that as consent. She hadn't fought his Imperius curse before, but this was different. Wasn't it? If it was different than why was she tempted by the option he was giving her? He said he was willing to bear the weight of this. He was willing to take over her mind and her body, to give her an out so she didn't have to give up her convictions, but…

It was all so wrong.

He twisted his wand, pressing it hard against her temple as he gripped her hip harder, digging his fingers into her. Hermione let out a whimpering sob, torn. Torn when she should be whole, but Draco had a piece of her and she wasn't sure she'd ever get it back. Wasn't sure she wanted it back.

She opened her eyes and saw the ugly Dark Mark branded into the arm holding the wand up to her. The wand that had done so many unforgivable things. He was a Death Eater, holding her against her will.

She had never wanted him more.

"Please," his voice was ragged, "Please, Granger. Let me do this. For you. For us. It can be good again. Let me show you."

Her chest was splitting in half. What would he do if she said no? He very well might just do it anyways. He was right, after all. If she had him again, she wouldn't be able to stop. He could lift the curse half way through and she would be just as willing as he had made her be.

His breath was heavy against her lips and she could practically taste the sickly sweetness of the whisky that had pushed him this far. It had taken a bottle of fire whisky to make him do this, but Hermione was sober and still straining her neck to keep it from bending into a nod.

"Sweetheart…" he breathed out.

Hermione shoved him roughly back. In his drunken stupor, Draco was less steady on his feet and tripped over his own boots, crashing back onto the plush rug.

She stood over him, hands shaking with adrenaline and she tried to bury them in the folds of the lacy dress. She wasn't going to let him see how he affected her. Because if he knew how she really felt… what she almost let him do…

Hermione took a shaky breath and raised her chin, looking down her nose at the mass of his body in front of her. "The only thing you can do for me is let me go."

He tried to push himself up, but fell back down, grunting with the effort.

"That- that's not going to happen," he panted.

Hermione swallowed. "I know. So if this is where I am going to have to live, there are going to be some new rules. You remember rules, don't you, Draco?"

Draco lifted his eyes up to hers. She couldn't help but notice how bloodshot they were surrounding the cold granite of his glare.

"Since you've broken our first set, here's another." She put all of her aggravation and frustration into her voice, making it sharper than it normally was. "You don't touch me. Ever." Something slithered behind his eyes and it sent a chill down her spine. "And since this room is all I have, then fine. It's mine then. Which means you have to find somewhere other than this bed to sleep."

She would miss him and the moments where she woke up pressed against him. Before she remembered how and why she was here.

Draco growled and stumbled to his feet. She took a swift step back, putting a bit of distance between them.

"Don't come in here drunk again. I told you before I won't tolerate you like this."

Draco didn't say anything, just stood there and waited. For the first time in weeks Hermione felt like she actually had a bit of control over her life. But watching him wrestle with his restraint let her know that it still wasn't much.

"And if you ever use an Unforgivable curse on me, I will make sure you pay for it."

Hermione watched his wand jerk in his hand as if it was trying to respond to her.

Draco closed the distance between them and Hermione found herself backed against the wall once more. He was crowding her, towering over her, and slammed his hands into the paneling on either side of her head. Hermione flinched instinctively. Some Gryffindor she was turning out to be.

But surprisingly Draco kept an inch of space between their bodies. Taunting her with how close he was without touching her. He would bend the rules, but not break them. Thank Godric for small mercies.

"The bed might be yours, but you-" He raised his brows and licked his lips, breathing out heavily as he planted his feet firmly in front of her, iron eyes boring down into hers. "You're still mine."

Hermione blinked her eyes as she stared up at him and her mouth fell slightly open. For some unexplainable reason she felt a tightness in her lower stomach, pushing heat between her legs and making her heart beat hard against the muscles she clenched there.

Draco's lids lowered over his eyes and his tongue darted out across his bottom lip. "My sweet girl." Why was he doing this? Why was he torturing her? "With her pretty little pussy that I bet is wet for me, right now. Isn't it, kitten?"

Hermione shoved him back again, but Draco seemed to be a little more in control of himself now and was back in less than a second, slamming his hands into the wall again.

Hermione whimpered, biting her lip and screwing her eyes closed tight.

She heard his hands slide off the wall and felt his breath brush against the shell of her ear, blowing a few of the twisting strands of hair across her cheek.

A weak, lonely part of her wished his fingers would follow. Then his lips. Banishing the thoughts of what she would never get to have, Hermione turned to face him again.

Draco's expression was cold and empty and he stared down at her behind the silver shields of his eyes before finally saying, "Just because you kicked me out of the bed, doesn't mean you can kick me out of your dreams."

She felt her eyes widen. Oh God.

"That's okay, Sweetheart. I know you can't help it," Draco cooed and his lips tugged on one side. "Just like you can't help being a desperate little slut."

"You disgusting-"

"No worse than you, Granger." Draco's eyes were as sharp and deadly as iron. "Because everything I've done," he took a deep breath, expanding his chest until it was almost touching hers, "is all your fault."

.

Also I would like to thank Ella offshorewriting for the idea to use the name Towler and Tina adasttra1 for allowing me the use the last name of one of her characters from her story "Damn Your Love, Damn Your Lies". Thank you friends!

Thank you again, dear readers for all of your support. As this is a WIP and I am writing it as I update I know the schedule is a little funtastic at times. I do want to let you know that it will probably be about another month before the next chapter comes out just because I need some time for life events and I have a few other stories that I am wanting to get back to (Light Years and Ashes). I do not want you to think that I am abandoning this fic because I definitely have no plans to do that, but I also didn't want to leave you hanging. If there is any way that I am able to update sooner I will! Thank you for your patience and support. I love you!