Snape tensed. But there was nothing he could do anymore. So he stepped through the portrait.
It was as if the scene was exactly the same as before the dawn. As if none of the nightmare of these last hours had ever happened. As if some teenager never sold his soul to save the world.
The Gryffindors gathered in their red and gold common room, sitting in a circle, some half-asleep, the others quietly chatting, worry evident in their eyes.
All of them glancing repeatedly and randomly at Ron, Hermione, and their Head of House, just to make sure they were still there, quietly waiting, and not leaving them. Their comforting presence eased their fears.
Yes, thought Severus. It was exactly the same as when he had left. Except that this time there was no knight in shining armor he had come to collect and throw on the battlefield.
This time he had come to tell them it was over. All over.
To tell them they could go. Go home, where their families must have been waiting for them in despair. And prying they would come back.
Severus didn't care anymore. They could go home, go outside on the grounds, go wherever they wanted, as long as they let him in peace. Alone with his grief.
But he knew it was not going to happen before a while.
Because first, he had to tell them, no matter how, right now, he truly didn't feel up to the task.
However, it was his duty ; he had swore to Harry.
And, trying to fix in his memory what the last seconds of peaceful silence looked like, he stepped further in the Gryffindor common room.
Hermione saw him first. She turned her head slowly, as if in a sleeping haze, and her gaze fell on him.
He could tell she hadn't been sleeping, though. Her eyes shone bright on her face, full of sorrow. Full of regret. Full of resignation. Severus nearly choked under the strength of her scrutiny.
She kept her gaze steady, not saying anything.
And then Ron saw him. He followed his friend's look and suddenly paled. His fists clenched spasmodically. The prefect opened his mouth in an attempt to speak, but nothing came out.
When Minerva saw him, she slowly stood up, gaining everyone's attention.
-Severus... What are the news ?
Her voice was shaking.
The Potion Master felt the anxious stares of every child in the room. He cleared his throat.
-It's over.
His voice, too, wasn't to be trusted. But he had to say it, no matter how wrong the word felt.
-It's over, he repeated. We...won.
A few seconds silence followed his statement. And then, cries of happiness and laughter filled the room.
Minerva smiled wanly and whispered "thank God".
Severus felt sick.
The Gryffindors were dancing, congratulating each other and already planning the Celebration Party, as if they had something to do with the victory.
Snape sneered.. Victory... at what price...
His eyes met hazel ones.
Hermione and Ron hadn't moved. Hadn't said anything at all.
Still sitting, they were waiting for something more to come.
And at the same time, they looked like they didn't want to hear it.
In the end, it was Neville who dared asking the question. Suddenly stopping in his tracks, he went quiet and looked at the Potion Master.
-Professor... What about Harry ?
The room was silent, now. All the children had stopped their loud cheering, and shame and worry came to life in their eyes.
Again, they all stared at Snape.
Severus tried to speak but found he couldn't. What could he say ? How could he say it ? What words ? He felt uncertain now. Did he have the right to crash them at the very minute they had to be happy ? After all these months of fear ?
Minerva frowned upon seeing his hesitation.
-Severus... Where is Harry ?
He looked at Ron. At Hermione. And what he saw in their eyes made him shiver.
They know ! They knew ! They've known it all along ! They knew he had to die, and they didn't tell him anything... Because they understood what it meant to him.
Severus barely managed to speak.
-I...I'm so sorry.
And he couldn't stand it any longer. These eyes. Those of children who were not children anymore, and who hadn't been for a long time.
The eyes of two people waiting for him to acknowledge their best friend's death. Waiting for him to finally make the nightmare come true.
He couldn't find his voice to say more.
-He's gone, isn't he ?
It was no question, thought Severus. It was a statement.
It was Ron who had spoken. His voice was rasp, barely audible. But everyone had heard.
The Potion Master nodded.
-I'm so sorry...
Ron smiled sadly.
-Well...after all, he did say he would take a long nap...
His voice broke on the last words and he choked.
The Head of Slytherin thought he wouldn't survive to the grieving Gryffindors. He had to flee, now, before every child began to cry.
It was Hermione who saved him. Well, for a while at least.
She took Ron's hand and they walked towards the Fat Lady. When the portrait opened, she motioned for the Potion Master to follow them.
He followed, not even daring to turn back and glance at Minerva who, he knew, was utterly heartbroken.
They silently walked in the deserted corridors, occasionally meeting students who had the courage to look at the place.
They wandered aimlessly, seeing corpses of fallen strangers, of acquaintances, sometimes even those of friends.
Neither the children nor Severus dared looking at them.
Hermione had a hollow look. But dry eyes. That frightened the Head of Slytherin. He suddenly wished she would cry, throw a tantrum, or that she would tell him some unimportant excerpt of Hogwarts, a History. That would have been normal. Well, that would have been the normal Hermione acting, anyway.
A silent, heartless Hermione was scary.
Ron just followed her, having the same look on his face.
After what seemed like hours, Severus spoke.
-How long have you known ? He asked softly.
Hermione stopped, and looked at him with such a heartbroken gaze that he forgot to breathe.
So much pain, coming from someone so young.
-Almost as long as Harry, I think. He was never a good liar. And I know every book of the Restricted Section by heart, so when he explained his strategy, I knew from the beginning that something was wrong.
She started walking again and the two others silently followed.
-When I told Ron, I asked him to help me talking Harry out of it. But he was the one to tell me that if Harry was ready to give his life, there must have been no other way.
Without even noticing it, they had just passed the Room of Requirement, which had had no door. There was nothing the Gryffindors wished anymore. Nothing that the Room could have given them.
Hermione didn't stop talking.
-It was hard to admit, of course. But Ron was right, you know. Harry would have rather lived, and taken an other option, had there been one. So he sacrificing his life meant there simply wasn't any other way to beat Voldemort.
Ron spoke next.
-At first we were deeply upset that Harry wanted to hide his imminent death to us. We wanted him to know we were here for him, too. Until the very end. But we knew it would have been harder for him. He didn't want us to worry. He didn't want us to go and die with him. So in the end, we decided to act as if knowing nothing.
They stopped walking.
-It must have been hard... whispered Severus.
Hermione smiled. A sad, knowing smile.
-It was. But not harder for us than for him. He hated that, lying to us, we could feel it. And it was hard for you, too, wasn't it ? You were his only confident.
Snape smiled gently.
-Yes. He... told me. I was the only one to know, or so I thought until today... He told me to be sure that if he didn't manage I would finish what he had begun.
They stood in front of the hospital wing.
Everything was silent, and Severus couldn't fathom why. People should have been partying, or crying, or whatever ! But there was only silence. As if to honor the fallen Savior.
Hermione looked at the door.
-He's in there, isn't he ?
-Yes. He's alone, I made sure of it.
Hermione stared pensively at the Potions Master.
-Thank you.
She turned to the door, still holding Ron's hand.
The young witch grabbed the knob, and just as Severus thought she was going to enter, she quietly asked :
-Did he suffer ?
Snape smiled wanly.
-No. He didn't.
It was a lie. The both knew it. But still, it had been a relief to say it, to hear it spoken aloud. To fake believing it.
After all, what was one more lie ?
Hermione opened the door.
-Thank you.
And Harry Potter's two best friends disappeared from his sight.