Chapter Seventy-seven

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Back Home

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Late on Saturday morning, Nathan returned from Brookfield and was welcomed into loving and grateful arms.

Allie ran and jumped into him as she had done once before, only this time she ran down the steps even before he could grab his satchel from the seat of the vehicle. "Daaaddd!" She was almost sobbing as she held him so tightly Nathan could easily lift her off the ground. When he set her down, he wiped her hair from her face and searched her eyes. "What is it, Sweetheart?"

With tears overflowing, Allie confessed. "I know you went to talk to Uncle Gabe. Did you talk to him about your nightmares? Are you okay now? I mean, really okay?"

"Wait. Who said anything about nightmares, Allie?"

"No one. No one needed to tell me, Dad. I know what you have had to go through in the past and I could tell. Our happy breakfasts were wonderful last week, Dad, but you were too happy. I can't explain it, but I've lived with you long enough. I know." Allie wiped her eyes to clear her vision then searched Nathan's eyes. "Are you okay now?"

"Oh Allie-girl. I didn't realize how sensitive and aware you are. You knew?" As Allie nodded, Nathan continued. "I am so sorry, Sweetheart. I had a scare and a memory returned. I had to talk it out with Uncle Gabe and he helped me through it. I'm okay now. I haven't had the dreams since he and I talked and I believe God has healed me."

"Really?" Fresh tears fell from Allie's worried eyes. "Are you home for good now, Dad?"

"I am here, Sweetheart, and I am not planning on leaving again for a long time, unless it is with Mom or maybe our whole family. I shouldn't have been sent away for Mountie business in the first place, but I won't be going again like that, unless it is just for meetings." Nathan placed his hands on both sides of her face, brushing away her tears with his thumbs. "What do you say we go in and see Mom and Jack? Okay?"

Allie nodded, but reluctantly let go. "I missed you, Dad. And I love you."

Nathan bent to kiss the top of his daughter's head. "I missed you and I love you too, dear Daughter."

Nathan looked up towards the front door and saw Elizabeth watching them, weeping. Nathan left his satchel in the automobile and took the steps two at a time to grab his wife into a tight embrace. She clung to him and let out a sob as she tried to speak. "Na…tha…aan…"

"Oh, Lizabeth. What is it? Are you okay?" Nathan questioned worriedly.

"Me?" She recovered her voice. "Of course I'm okay. Well at least now I am. Are you okay, my Love? Did it help to talk to Gabe?" Elizabeth didn't even release her hold to look at her husband's face. She just held him as if she never wanted to let him go.

"I'm fine, Lizabeth. I'm fine." Nathan held his wife close, swishing back and forth as if dancing slowly. "Yes, Gabe talked me through the memories and I had two nights of peaceful sleep. But I'm afraid, by these welcome-home-hugs and tears, maybe my two dearest girls didn't sleep as well as I did? You were worried?"

Elizabeth nodded her head against his chest. "Oh Nathan. Of course I was worried." She sniffled. "I don't want you to leave again and have those nightmares be the result. Are you really alright now?"

"I am, Dear-heart. I even have a small miracle to tell you about later." He stroked the length of her hair. "I'm home and I'm not going anywhere. I missed you so. I love you, sweet Lizabeth." He nuzzled his face into her neck and she turned her face towards his. Their lips found each other's in a soft kiss, full of love and longing. As they broke apart, Nathan whispered again. "I love you. And I…"

Tugs at Elizabeth's skirt and Nathan's trousers brought their attention to a young boy who wanted his turn. Jack didn't understand the tears of his mother or sister, but he knew he had missed his dad. As Nathan bent to lift Jack into his arms, Jack's lip quivered and his eyes filled. "Daddy…"

And with that, Nathan's eyes glistened and the entire family wrapped themselves into a family hug that included quite a few sniffles. Finally Nathan chuckled. "I'm not sure if this is a good welcome home or what! We are all a crying mess!"

Giggles from Elizabeth and Allie ensued as they each realized it was a pretty sad homecoming for the man they loved.

"Sorry, my Love." Elizabeth gazed at the face of her husband. "We just really missed you."

"Mom's right, Dad. We did." Allie agreed.

With one hand Nathan caressed the face of his wife, then his daughter, then patted Jack's back. Jack had his arms around Nathan's neck and was holding fast. "Did you miss me too, Buddy?" Nathan whispered to Jack.

Jack nodded, but let go enough to look into his father's face. Leaning back slightly Jack put both of his hands on either side of his father's face. "I missed you and I love you, Daddy." His affirmation was so sweet that it was all Nathan could do to keep from crying himself.

"I'm glad you missed me and love me, Buddy. Because I love you more!"

"Unh, uhh. I love you more." Jack declared.

"Oh, I don't think so. I love you more." Nathan lifted Jack so he could nuzzle his nose into Jack's tummy. Fits of giggles resulted and somehow the family made their way inside the house.

"Something smells good in here!" Nathan grinned. He was home. "What's for lunch?"

After a delicious yet simple lunch of soup and sandwiches, Allie emerged from the kitchen with a plate of homemade cookies. Molasses, sugar and oatmeal.

"Let me guess. You and Mom spent your evenings baking as a distraction. Right?" Nathan grinned at Elizabeth then at his daughter.

"Maybe?" Allie tilted her head down and looked up through her eyelashes teasingly.

And suddenly Nathan realized what a charmer and a potential teasing flirt he had on his hands. These coming years were going to be interesting! He widened his eyes as he glanced back at Elizabeth.

"Grandma and Grandpa are coming tonight. And Uncle Bill too. He's bringing something choclit!" Jack piped up. "And Mama promised we can do Milk'n'Honey too!"

"Jack!" Elizabeth laughed. "How do you know Uncle Bill is bringing a chocolate dessert?"

"Cause when we saw Uncle Bill in town, I asked him to bring choclit and he told me we'd have choclit. So….?"

Elizabeth gasped as Nathan chuckled. "Jack, you asked for it?"

"Uh huh!" Jack nodded his head. "An' he said yes." Jack looked at Nathan as if he had been away so long he wouldn't know this fact. "I love choclit."

Father, mother and big sister dissolved into laughter at Jack's innocent admission. He was briefly confused, but kept eating his cookie because he knew that Uncle Bill had promised.

"Well, it sounds like a delicious dessert and a fun evening, eh?" He winked at Jack who sat nibbling his cookie while trying to figure out how to wink like his father. Having mastered closing both eyes at once, he thought maybe he had learned this trick?

"So what's on the schedule for this fine afternoon? Any family anything? A game? A walk? Naps? Some music?" Nathan looked around the table. "Any ideas?"

"I suggest a walk first, then naps for all. If we have time before dinner maybe a game and then music after dinner with everyone here." Elizabeth smiled at her children, then looked at Nathan. "Did I miss anything?"

"Milk'n'Honey, Mom. Remember?" This time it was Allie with the reminder.

"Of course, sweet girl." Elizabeth smiled lovingly, adding with a wink. "A promise is a promise."

"Well, let's get the dishes cleaned up and get started on our plans!" Nathan clapped his hands, grinning. He stood and joined Elizabeth and Allie gathering the dishes to take to the kitchen. Even Jack wanted to help so his assignment was to collect the napkins.

Their walk began in their back yard, surveying the progress on the cottage.

Nathan was pleased to see new accomplishments continuing. "Mom and Dad may be moved in by May-day at this rate. Did Dad mention a timeline?"

"I think he is purposely not giving a timeline to avoid disappointing any one. But I know he is pleased."

"Well, I am thrilled they'll be close-by. It'll be the best of both worlds." Nathan motioned towards the road. "Let's head that way and inspect the trees for flower or leaf buds, eh?"

Having returned from their walk, the Grants settled down for a quiet afternoon. Allie had promised to keep an ear open for Jack if he woke up before Nathan and Elizabeth, so Nathan quietly slipped the lock in place after they entered their bedroom. As he turned, he found Elizabeth close behind him. She put her finger to his lips, thereby telling him to stay quiet. Tonight, tomorrow they could talk, but now was their time for loving communion.

Keeping her eyes locked with his as she backed up, Elizabeth tugged on Nathan's suspenders to follow her towards their bed. She stopped and released them, letting each suspender slide off of his shoulders one at a time, then began to unbutton his plaid shirt, revealing his Henley. Tilting her face to his, she lifted his hands to the neck of her blouse, making her desires clear.

Their afternoon of silent loving touched the deepest parts of their hearts, giving them a sense of place, of welcoming and warmth, of knowing and understanding, of belonging, and of home. Over these months of marriage they had both learned that wherever they were together was the home of their hearts.

While the Grants and Bill enjoyed their chicken pot pies and salad, Nathan shared a simplified version of his encounter with Malachi Asher, the preacher.

"Really Dad? You think he was an angel?" Allie questioned, but hopefully. "And you saw him?"

"Did he have big wings, Daddy?" Inquired a wide-eyed Jack. He only knew of drawings of angels in his Christmas story book. "Did he shine?"

"Well, I do think God sent him. He had just the exact Bible verses to give me. As though he knew me very well. And when I looked down the road he had disappeared." Nathan answered Allie first, then looking at Jack, he explained. "No, Son. He didn't have any wings and he didn't shine like your book, no. But there was a clarity to him and a kindness and interest that strangers don't often exhibit. In the Bible, there are times when angels look just like real people, real men."

After a sound sleep, Nathan had awakened while the rest of his family slept. This was his favorite time of day. First light. Quiet. Still, except for birdsongs that filled the air and a strong wind today. This was Nathan's time to ponder, pray and write. This morning, Nathan stood at the front window looking out over the meadow, a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. He began silent prayers of thanksgiving, for Elizabeth, Allie, Jack and baby Grant. He gave thanks for his parents and what God was doing in them. He expressed his gratitude for Bill, Lee and Rosemary, Joseph and Minnie, Mark, his assistant, and his Mountie brother, Gabe.

'Thank you, Lord, for Gabe's help, his listening ear, his wisdom and willingness to do the hard work of walking the road of recovery with me. Thank you for your healing, your protection and your presence. Thank you for Malachi! If he was an angel, I count it a privilege. You speak in so many different ways.'

Nathan thought about how God had spoken through Elizabeth's songs a few nights ago. He observed the power of the gusts of wind outside the window, remembering when the class had been up on the mountain and Lee had been hit by the falling tree. He recalled Elizabeth and his heated words in the cabin, but how God had spoken to his heart that he needed to apologize and explain his concern and how he felt about her. He thought of the small breezes and whispers of God's love that he knew while on rounds some days. Phrases began to form in Nathan's mind and, retrieving his journal and Bible, he sat at the table in the window and wrote.

GOD'S MESSAGE-BEARERS

With shouts and lullabies
the angel-winds have spoken.
With mighty strength
they wrestle an oak to the ground.
Yet, with gentle kisses
they caress a budding flower
and whisper my Lover's words
without a sound. (EMH)

Elizabeth entered the parlor stealthily, yet aware that Nathan could sense her presence. As she approached, he capped and set his pen on the table and straightened. Elizabeth slipped her arms over his shoulders and pressed a kiss into his thick hair. He reached up to enfold her hands in his and leaned back against her. They stayed, contented and looking out on the silvery gray sky above their meadow. The day was awakening and a light rain fell.

"Good morning, my Love." Nathan lifted her hands to kiss them. "How did you sleep?"

"Like a dream, Dear-heart. You, my husband, were home and by my side. You are the comfort I need, like a cozy blanket."

"Is that so! Let me wrap you in this cozy blanket then…" Nathan moved the chair slightly and pulled Elizabeth around him to sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and she melted against him. After some time, Nathan whispered a verse as a prayer.

"In the morning fill us full with your never-ending love, Lord, so we will sing songs of joy and be glad for all our days." (*47)

Elizabeth reached over Nathan's arm and opened his Bible. She flipped the pages to find a Psalm she had read and pondered while Nathan was away. She pointed to a verse and read softly to Nathan.

"Cause me to hear Thy lovingkindness in the morning, for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto Thee." (*48)

"I read that Psalm the other day and kept thinking about how God's love is new every morning and he will show us our path every day. It follows along with what you just said, doesn't it? And lifting our soul is in prayer and praise and singing!"

Elizabeth needed their vehicle so the Grant family left home together. Nathan pulled up to his parent's row house and deposited Jack, amidst hugs and kisses, then drove Allie to school. He drove Elizabeth to meet Rosemary at the Dress Shop, leaving the car for her. Elizabeth had a suitcase full of clothes that needed altering as her skirts were feeling tight! Nathan carried the suitcase to the door and kissed his wife then sauntered to his office thinking about the verse Elizabeth had shared earlier. "...cause me to know the way wherein I should walk…"

Greeting Mark, Nathan opened his office door, removed his hat and shook the rain from it before entering. As he walked behind his desk and pulled out his chair, Nathan saw a stack of mail. On top was a letter from Commissioner Ash. He sat, retrieved his letter opener from his drawer and slit the envelope. Inside was a small slip of paper wrapped around another envelope.

'Nathan,
Here is the response from Bouchard.
I am praying God will give you wisdom to know the way going forward.
All the best,
Peter'

Slitting the inner envelope, Nathan pulled out a letter.

'Nathan and Elizabeth,
I admit I was hoping a blanket apology was enough, but after talking with the Chaplain again, I realize why you responded as you did. I need to be specific to some extent. So here is what I am sorry for.

I pursued you, E. to capture your heart. You were a prize to be won. A trophy to show off and to prove I was the better man than you, N. I am sorry that I treated our relationships as a competition and did not value either of you enough to really get to know you. Of course, I had to be careful around you, N, to hide my activities, but I was very unfriendly and put you down. I remember a few times when what I said to E. reflected poorly on you, actually misrepresenting what you said or meant. I am sorry.

I am sorry for hating you, N. I realize now it was more than you representing the law and what was right. I hated that you had E.'s friendship and I could see that ease as I watched from the upper porch. I hated that you had a daughter who obviously loves you. I hated that you stood for truth and what is morally right. I hated that the town adored you and respected you. I never felt I had love or respect, no matter that I gave the Library building and put on a huge Festival.

I'm sorry I never thanked you or acknowledged that you saved my life, along with that of E. when we were held at gunpoint. I tried to handle things on my own and that didn't go well. So thank you for following me that day and for rescuing us that night.

E, I am sorry for sending the draft chapters before I asked you. I am also sorry for springing my mother's visit on you, unannounced. I am happy for the success of your book, but sorry for how it came about.

There may be more, but for now, I am sorry for all of the above.
L.'

Nathan was surprised at each admission he read and now wondered how he and Elizabeth should respond. The verse he had been pondering when he entered the office returned to his mind, so Nathan prayed, 'God, cause me to know the way wherein I should walk…'

(*47) Psalm 90:14 Paraphrased from the King James Version.

(*48) Psalm 143:8 King James Version, Public domain