A/N: Set in my 'Forbearance' universe. Basically me being evil to Anderson. Enjoy!
How To Scare A Forensic Technician
Kagome cackled madly, rubbing her hands together. John looked at her worriedly. Sherlock actually froze in the process of whatever experiment he was doing, for the fourth time that day and it was only half nine in the morning. No matter how often she did it, it was just as disconcerting as the first time. Both men had no idea what the miko was planning. But they knew one thing for sure - it was not going to be good for her victim.
Five minutes, and another evil laugh, later, John finally snapped.
"Kagome, for God's sake, what are you doing?" Kagome turned to him with a sickeningly sweet innocent smile.
"Why, my dear John," She gasped dramatically, "Whatever do you mean?" John narrowed his eyes.
"That. That laugh you keep on doing - and the fact that it's Halloween in two days - is suspiciously eerie. Not to mention creepy." Kagome's innocent smile immediately turned malicious and John feared for the state of their flat. And anyone who came in contact with her for the next two days. She wasn't like this last year - he had no idea where this had come from.
"You know, John, that you are amazing?" He smiled tightly.
"What do you want, Kagome?" She pouted, but brightened almost immediately.
"You know how Anderson does everyone's head in?" John nodded slowly, dreading what she was going to say next. Sherlock emerged from the kitchen, full attention on Kagome and a small smile as he started to get the idea. "Well," Kagome stated matter-of-factly. "I think it's time someone scared him out of his head. A bit." She added when John's expression radiated disapproval. He looked towards Sherlock, whose eyes were bright with excitement as he approached them.
"I must agree with Kagome, John. Her idea is simply brilliant." Kagome's smile widened.
"Please? Don't rat me out?" Then she turned to Sherlock with mischievously twinkling eyes and a smirk. "Want to help?" Sherlock nodded once. John rolled his eyes, utterly resigned to the fact that this was going to happen, whether he liked it or not.
"Fine. Just - Don't do anything too bad." He said (read: pleaded). Kagome and Sherlock nodded distractedly, impatiently.
Two days before Halloween
Anderson walked back to his desk, his face still in that perpetual frown that he wore, whether he was happy or angry. Sighing, he sat down and opened his drawer to get his lunch. Instead, all that escaped was a girly scream of horror.
Inside the drawer was a brain - a big, human, pulsing brain.
Suddenly, the scream cut off as Anderson took on a faint greenish hue and rushed out of his seat, off to the men's toilets, closing the drawer first.
Hidden rather cleverly, Sherlock and Kagome snickered quietly.
"That was brilliant." Kagome whispered, well aware that if they were caught now, it would be obvious that they did it. Although… "Hey, if we take out the brain, then when he comes back - presumably with someone else - he'll think he's going crazy - or his colleague will!" Sherlock nodded, and off they went to get the brain out of the desk.
They had just finished hiding again when Anderson came back, Lestrade in tow. Anderson opened the drawer with reasonable trepidation and gaped when there was nothing there, just an empty drawer. They saw rather than heard Lestrade sigh heavily.
"Anderson -" Anderson looked frantic and more than a little bit panicked.
"No! It was there - I know it was!" Lestrade shrugged.
"Well, it's not there now." He looked at the forensic technician concernedly. "Are you feeling okay? Maybe you should take the day off…"
Kagome and Sherlock heard no more, only able to hold in their laughter for long enough to be out of hearing range of Lestrade and Anderson. They got to her cubicle before bursting out with laughter, gaining some exasperated looks from Kagome's colleagues.
One day before Halloween
The next day, Kagome came to a crime scene with Sherlock and John, looking pale and eyes a mysterious red-ish colour, but well-rested. Sherlock, however, looked unnaturally pale and tired and he kept on rubbing his neck and then grimacing, casting Kagome fearful, furtive glances and keeping his distance from her at all times. Kagome made sure to lick her lips when looking at Sherlock and looking predatory, smirking every time Sherlock looked at her worriedly. John made sure to look as oblivious as possible. Anderson looked between Sherlock and Kagome with increasing alarm as they kept up with what they were doing. Anderson made up some kind of excuse and went out of the room.
He came back in ten minutes later, carrying a bucket of water. He said nothing and just went straight up to Kagome. Lestrade went out to check downstairs for the evidence Sherlock just had him go and look for. He threw the water at her, but hit only the wall. Kagome appeared behind him and hissed in his ear threateningly.
"Bad move, mortal. You'll regret that." She raised an eyebrow in apparent irritation, trying with all her might to push down her amusement. "And garlic as well?" She tutted. "I somehow expected more." And then she disappeared. John still looked oblivious and Sherlock looked relieved that Kagome was gone.
Two hours later, when Sherlock and John got home, Sherlock having stolen some evidence, they found Kagome in the kitchen, giggling like mad, dancing around the cauldron she had put there and putting various liquids into it.
Lestrade knocked on their door in an irritated manner, a team already behind him. Anderson was shifting from foot to foot agitatedly - already half anticipating Sherlock getting yelled at by the DI yet scared of what he was going to find in that flat.
What he found was Kagome sitting calmly in one chair, eyes back to normal, sipping something through a straw, John sitting in the opposite chair drinking tea, and Sherlock was sitting upright on the sofa, watching Kagome like a hawk, though not without some revulsion.
Cautious, Anderson began searching through the cupboards and fridge, while the rest of the team took the other rooms. Under the sink, he not only found the First Aid Kit, he also found a cauldron and a bag of herbs, as well as several unlabeled bottles of something. Suspicion rose and a measure of foreboding hit him just as he started to open the fridge.
Inside the fridge was a jar of eyeballs, several packets of blood - unlabeled -, a jar of what looked like salamanders, a box of crickets - still alive -, a snake - in another jar, of course -, and a toad that looked like it had been squashed on a plate, in full view. All of this was in the same place the milk, the leftover dinner, vegetables, other dairy products and the meat were put. Horrified, Anderson looked over at Kagome, watched her turn to see him, smile and lift her glass. All he took note of was the fact that it was a red liquid inside that glass before he was out the door.
And all of this had taken place without Lestrade noticing a thing.
Halloween
"Oh please, John! Just for this last trick! I promise that it'll be the last one - and the only one that I ask for your help on. Anderson's got to see me in the act!" Kagome pleaded.
"No."
"Please."
"No."
"Please." Kagome stuck out her lip in a pout and affected 'puppy eyes'. John noticed and looked away before he could be bewitched by it and say yes.
"No, Kagome!"
"Please!" John sighed heavily.
"No means no, Kago -" Silly, he thought to himself. He had forgotten about the puppy eyes in his annoyance and now his attention was fixed on her face. Wide, cute eyes and full, pouty lower lip - God, that was convincing.
"Please?" He was an idiot.
"Okay." He sighed. Kagome immediately turned to Sherlock.
"See? Told you it would work." As John's eyebrows climbed his face in incredulity, Sherlock scoffed.
"Indeed."
Later
Anderson cast his gaze around furtively for his enemy. She had to be around here somewhere, just waiting to frighten the pants off him. She came into work this morning, but now, at lunch, she wasn't anywhere to be seen. He sighed heavily and turned to go back to his cubicle, when a flash of black and red caught his attention. When he moved forward to see what it was, his voice caught in his throat.
In the little corner was Kagome and John. John had his head against the wall, eyes closed, with an arm wrapped loosely around Kagome's waist. Kagome had her head buried in his throat. He made a little squeak and Kagome turned her head towards him, blood around her mouth, fangs bared threateningly and eyes completely red as she hissed angrily.
Fortunately, Anderson didn't have much to say as he promptly fainted dead away.
Kagome snorted, taking out the fake fangs and wiping the tomato ketchup off her face.
"Is it safe?" John said, one eye opening and looking around. Kagome nodded and giggled.
"He looked terrified." Her eyes narrowed on his unmoving form as a thought occurred to her. "We should get someone, acting like we just found him - maybe Lestrade. And Sally - oh, we can't forget her. And Sherlock deserves to see this as well." John rolled his eyes, putting on a scarf.
"Go ahead. I'll stay here and keep an eye on his condition. He should be out for another ten minutes, so take your time." Kagome nodded and walked casually away, whistling cheerfully. He shuddered. God, she could be creepy when she wanted to be.
It was only when she got within hearing distance to the homicidal division that she started to run. She panted to make the effect look really good and rapped on the door of Lestrade's office frantically.
"Anderson's unconscious. John is with him but I'm not sure what happened." She said as soon as she opened the door. Lestrade stood up, concern on his face.
"Where?" She said where it was and, as he rushed out, Sally Donovan popped her head out from behind her cubicle.
"What's happened?"
"Anderson's unconscious." Sally's eyebrows rose and she stood up.
"God, is he alright?" Kagome took a deep breath.
"I don't know." Alarmed, Sally stood and followed Lestrade at the same hurried pace.
Grinning discretely, Kagome took out her phone and dialled Sherlock's number. He'd stayed at the flat today, no cases at all, and was probably wallowing in boredom, just waiting for her call.
"Hello?" He drawled upon picking up his phone.
"Come to the Yard. You want to see this." Was all she said, hanging up the phone and following everyone to Anderson.
When she got there, Anderson was still unconscious. Sherlock came in a minutes later, just in time for him to see Anderson wake up. He looked around groggily. Sally handed him a cup of water, which he drank gratefully. He looked around, seeing everyone's worried faces, and freezing when he saw Kagome's face among them.
He let out a scream and started babbling, pointing at her and calling her a 'vampire' and 'a witch'. Saying she was evil and that she had no right to exist. Kagome, however, just burst out laughing. Anderson stopped and looked at her confusedly.
She reached into her pockets and brought out the fake fangs and a bottle of tomato ketchup. She grinned as she held them out, her laughter settling somewhat. Lestrade smiled tiredly at Kagome.
"Well, Anderson. Looks like you've just been the victim of Kagome's Halloween pranks." He patted Anderson on his shoulder good-heartedly. Anderson was still looking at Kagome, a dumbfounded expression on his face. Sherlock came up next to her and looked at Anderson carefully.
"I think you broke him." Sally, Lestrade and Kagome laughed while Sherlock just grinned, John chuckling lightly as he shook his head.
A/N: Well, there we go - a nice bit of Halloween humour. I may have been a bit cruel - and it's not that I don't like Anderson (though I don't), my brain sometimes takes it a little to far and I apologise if you like Anderson. But feel free to leave reviews!
BP