Thanks so much for the reviews and follows for this story. Once again, I have to apologize for how long it has taken me to update. I'm hoping to organize my days better so that I have a bit of time to write, even if only a page at a time...ideally, I'd like to have a little mini laptop I could take to work with me so I could work on the story during my breaks...even better would be to reduce my work load, but sadly, my financial situation just won't allow me to do that...
I'm loving season 4 so far. Seeing more of Jamie has been great. I'm so glad CBS is finally allowing the show to become the ensemble cast it has been billed as...for so long, Donnie has been the focus, and while I love him, I don't watch for him. I watch primarily for Will. I'm hoping that we might actually get a Christmas episode this year. We've now been treated to two Thanksgiving episodes, so a Reagan Christmas would be fun. :)
Hope everyone is doing well!
"I hate being assigned to Central Park," Jamie grumbled.
Renzulli chuckled. "I thought you'd love the Park!"
Jamie just cast a sideways glance at his partner.
"C'mon, Reagan," he ribbed. "You hate when good people are victimized."
"It's so boring. I'd rather be out on the streets, catching perps in the act, or restoring victims faith that the system really does work." He stopped walking and bent down to pick up a plastic water bottle that had been tossed aside. He held the bottle up as an example. "Here, we just pick up trash or give directions."
"You know it was our turn on the rotation, Reagan. There ain't no true blue NYPD cop that actually likes this beat."
"Still sucks," he muttered, tossing the bottle into the proper receptical as they continued on their way.
"What gives?" When Jamie didn't respond, he pressed on. "I'm going to go out on a limb and say it has something to do with a babe." Still no answer. "Did some romantic rendevous that you had planned go sideways or something?"
Jamie sighed, realizing that Renzulli would not give up. "She's avoiding me. Won't return my calls."
"Maybe you're better off," Renzuli offered. "If a woman doesn't see what a good catch you are, I say be grateful you didn't waste any time - or money - and walk away with your heart in one piece."
Jamie chuckled. "So you think I'm a good catch, huh? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were hitting on me."
Renzulli rolled his eyes. "Since you're not currently mumbling in disgust, I'm gonna let that comment slide. But in all seriousness, Reagan, walk away. I can already tell she's trouble.
"You don't even know her," he snapped.
"Neither do you. She's just avoiding you, and she's got you all twisted up. Imagine what she'd be able to do to you if she broke your heart."
"You don't know her," Jamie insisted through gritted teeth. "She's a good woman."
Renzulli smirked. "You're in deep, kid. You're already defending her honor."
"Things are complicated."
"They always are when women are involved," the older man shrugged.
He wanted to respond, but his attention was drawn to the carousel that was just up the path. He began making his way towards the sounds of excited children who were anxiously awaiting their turn on the whimsical ride.
Jamie finally came to a stop at the wrought iron fence that kept park goers at a safe distance from the mechanics of the ride. He rested his arms on the top bar and his gaze finally settled on two familiar faces.
"See someone you know?" Renzulli asked, staring off in the same general direction as Jamie, trying to find a familiar face.
"Hi!" a little voice yelled out, though it could barely be heard over the excited murmurs of other riders. One hand gripped the pole tightly, aiding the little boy in keeping his balance, but he used his other arm, still clad in a plaster cast, to wave wildly at Jamie.
Jamie laughed softly, the little boys smile contagious. He smiled and waved back. "Hey, Little Man!" The little boy turned to look at his mom. Jamie mirrored Noah's movements and found himself staring at Breanne in awe. She was dressed casually for a summer day at the park, but she still looked like the most beautiful woman in the world. She offered Jamie a small smile and wave which he returned.
The calliope music started very softly and the ride began to move slowly, building up a bit more speed with each passing moment, giving the riders a chance to find their balance.
Jamie could hear Breanne's soft feminine giggles as her son laughed excitedly each time the carousel spun past them.
"So that's her, huh, Romeo?" Renzulli asked.
When Breanne and Noah had vanished from his sight, Jamie turned back to the other man. "Yeah. That's her."
"So she's got a kid?" he asked, making small talk.
Jamie turned his attention back to the ride just as Noah and Breanne came back into view. "Yeah. His name is Noah."
"Cute kid. Beautiful mom."
Jamie said nothing, but nodded in agreement.
He sighed. "So that's why it's complicated. Because of the kid."
"Partly, I suppose."
"There's another reason why it's complicated?" he asked, confused. Jamie said nothing. "What'd you do? Sleep with her sister or something?"
Jamie sighed in exasperation.
"Alright, alright," he held his hands up. "I'll stop for now. But I want the details later."
The ride came to a stop and Jamie and Renzulli watched silently as Breanne helped an excited Noah off his horse. As soon as his feet were on the floor, the little boy took off running for an exit, despite Breanne's voice telling him to stop. Jamie reacted quickly and in a few strides he was standing at the exit gate, ready to scoop the boy up.
Noah's little arms extended high above his head as he neared Jamie. "Guess what?!"
"What?" Jamie's voice was animated, mirroring Noah's tone, as he picked the boy up.
"The monsters haven't come back yet! I think you scared them away when you chased them out of my room!"
"That's awesome!" Jamie smiled, raising a hand for Noah to high-five him with his good hand.
"Yeah!" he smacked Jamie's hand with glee.
"Noah!" Breanne reprimanded him as she finally exited the gate. She's been stuck behind slow moving families who were also attempting to leave the carousel through the one exit point. "You know better than to run away from me!"
The little boy looked down, knowing he'd gone against the rules. "I'm sorry mommy. But I saw Jamie! I wanted to tell him the monsters are still gone!"
She reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "I know, baby. But if you run away from me again, there will be consequences. You are far too young to not have an adult at your side at all times."
He nodded his head in understanding. "I didn't mean to. I was just excited. I haven't seen Jamie since the night I met him." He chewed on his bottom lip.
"Alright then," she said, letting it drop. "We should get going, Noah. Jamie and," she looked at the other man's gold name plate on his uniform, "Mr. Renzulli are working. We need to let them go."
Jamie adjusted Noah in his arms and gently set his feet back on the ground. "Actually, we were about to take our lunch break," he glanced at Renzulli for confirmation.
"Oh, uh," he stuttered in surprise. "Yeah, lunch break. Great hot dog and pretzel vendors here in the park," he scratched the back of his head.
"Yes!" Noah pumped his arm into the air happily. "Will you come to the playground with me?"
"It's a lunch break, sweetie," Breanne interjected before Jamie had a chance to answer. "They need to eat, not play."
"Well, we could send Renzulli for four hot dogs," Jamie started. Breanne was shooting daggers at him with her eyes, but she'd been ignoring his phone calls and he wanted to talk to her. He knew it might be his last chance. It was a risk he needed to take. He looked over to the hot dog vendor nearest to them and took in the length of the line. "Judging by how busy they are, I'd say it's going to be at least a fifteen minute wait. We can play while Renzulli gets lunch. You don't mind, do you, Sarge?" Jamie looked over at his senior partner and smiled.
The man exhaled dramatically. "No. I suppose I don't. After all, it's your turn to buy, isn't it?"
Jamie pulled out his wallet and grabbed some cash. "I'm getting two Dogs and a pretzel, just so you know." Jamie chuckled and pulled out an extra five dollar bill. "Thanks, Bud!" Renzulli slapped Jamie on the shoulder then leaned in and said, only loud enough for Jamie to hear, "you owe me."
Renzulli held back for a minute, asking both Breanne and Noah what condiments they wanted on their dogs and what drinks they'd like him to bring back.
"C'mon!" Noah grabbed at both Breanne and Nick's hands and excitedly pulled them towards the playground.
Jamie laughed at Noah's enthusiasm and it didn't take long for Breanne to laugh along with him.
"So what should we do first?" Jamie asked as he opened the gate to the playground. Noah walked through first, followed by Breanne. He entered behind them and made sure the latch was secure before they wandered closer to the equipment.
Noah scanned the playground, looking at the activities. "The swings are full," he said sadly. "Those are my favorite."
Jamie nodded his head. "They are pretty fun," he agreed. He looked around and noticed the Merry-Go-Round in the corner by a bench. "Over there," Jamie pointed to Noah. "What do you think?"
"Yeah!" he smiled and took off running.
"Does he always have this much energy?" Jamie smiled.
"Yeah," she laughed. "He dives in head first too. With everything he does."
"You don't?" Jamie asked as they followed Noah.
"I'm a bit more cautious," she answered simply.
"So he gets it from his father?" He noticed her features cloud over at the mention of her son's father.
"Noah is nothing like his father." Her tone clearly told him that was not a topic that would be discussed. He offered her a small head nod in understanding and she gave him the smallest hint of a smile in thanks for not pressing.
"C'mon!" Noah's voice called out as they slowly made their way towards him. "Hurry up, please!" He jumped up and down in excitement.
"Sit down, kiddo," Breanne instructed, smiling.
"No, Mommy!" He shook his head. "That's no fun!"
"You've already got one broken arm, you don't need another," she told him.
"But I don't want to sit down," he pouted.
"Tell you what," Jamie started, sitting down on the Merry-Go-Round plat form, "if you sit down, I'll spin this baby really fast."
"And if you don't sit down, Jamie here will spin this thing sloooowwwwly," she drug the word out for emphasis so both her son knew she meant business and let Jamie know his limits where her son was concerned.
Noah turned to look at Jamie with puppy dog eyes. "Sorry, bud. Your mom is right. It's sit down and go fast, or stand up and," he faux yawned, stretching his arms over his head.
"Fine," he agreed, sitting down on the platform. "But you have to ride too, Mommy. You never get to ride the Merry-Go-Round with me."
"You want your old mom to ride with you?" she smiled at him.
"Yeah!" He nodded.
"You can't say no to that, mom," Jamie teased, his eyes sparkling.
"No, I suppose I can't." She sat down and adjusted herself so she was sitting as close to the center of the Merry-Go-Round. "Sit back here, with me, honey."
Noah pushed himself back into his mother's arms and reached up to take hold of one bar to hang on to. "Let's do this!" Noah laughed.
"Here we go!" Jamie laughed.
He started to spin the Merry-Go-Round, slowly building up speed a little at a time as Noah called out for him to spin faster.
After a few minutes, Jamie's arms started to burn from the repeated motions of spinning the equipment. He was also having trouble focusing on finding the bars as it spun around. But he pressed on because of the loud laughter erupting from Noah.
"Do you all want to keep goofing off, or eat some grub?" Renzulli finally bellowed. He sat down at a small, round picnic table.
"Ooooh, kaaay!" Breanne called out, giggling. "We're coming…I think."
Jamie laughed as he stopped spinning the Merry-Go-Round. The equipment started to slow on it's own and when he was able to clearly make out the features on both of their faces, he reached out and grabbed the bars, helping to stop it from spinning.
Jamie reached out to help Noah off the Merry-Go-Round, and as soon as his feet were on the ground, he swayed a little. "Hang on a sec," Jamie smiled. He held Noah by the shoulders while he regained his sea legs. He looked at Breanne and noticed she was watching him interact with Noah, smiling. He also noticed she was holding her head in one of her hands.
"I'm good now," Noah said as he glanced up at Jamie.
Jamie slowly released his grip on Noah's shoulders and watched carefully as he took a few steps towards the picnic table. Satisfied that he was steady on his feet, he turned his attention back to Breanne. "You OK?"
Her heart thawed a little more at his concern. "A little dizzy," she admitted, scooting forward and placing her feet on the ground. "I think I'm just going to sit here for a minute."
Jamie chuckled and took a seat beside her.
"I'm sorry I never called you back," she offered softly.
"Why didn't you?"
She chuckled. "It's complicated."
He angled his body towards her. "Before you were introduced to Johnny, when we talked, I thought we had something special."
"We did," she acknowledged.
"Past tense," Jamie nodded, feeling somewhat defeated.
She took a deep breath. "Noah already adores you, Jamie."
"That's a bad thing?" he asked. He looked over at Noah who was happily eating a hot dog with Renzulli.
"It could be."
"Please help me understand how it could be bad."
She took a deep breath and collected her thoughts. "Relationships are infinitely more complicated when one person has a kid. I made the decision a long time ago that I would only introduce Noah to someone if I knew that he would stick around. We're a package deal and his happiness is far more important to me than anything else. If he gave his heart to man who just decided to walk out the door, turn his life upside down….I'd never be able to forgive myself. I just couldn't do it. And that rule is already broken, Jamie. He knows you. He absolutely adores you." She looked down at her feet.
As honest as she was being, she just couldn't bring herself to admit that she was also desperately trying to protect herself.
"He adores Nicky and Erin as well. Most relationships come to an end, Jamie. If we started something and it didn't work, they're your family." She chuckled then added, "they'd have to go with you. By default, of course."
Jamie smiled and laughed. "It's true that they'd come with me by default. God knows those two think the world of you and Noah. They'd say I'd have to be a complete idiot to let you go."
"Naturally, it'd be all your fault. I'd be blameless," she jested.
"You know, I got the distinct impression a few weeks back during a family dinner that they wanted to set us up on a blind date."
"I hate blind dates," she shuttered.
"They aren't my favorite, either," he agreed. His eyes sparkled as he looked at her. "Yet another thing we have in common." The sound of Noah's laughter caught their attention.
"It's amazing to me that Noah is so amazingly smart and advanced for his age…"
"…but all it takes is your partner making monkey faces to amuse him?"
"Yeah," Jamie chuckled. "But in all seriousness, he is incredibly bright."
"Gifted."
"Hmm?"
"He's gifted. That's the term. All mothers think their baby is the smartest, and cutest, but I knew. Call it intuition or whatever, but I knew. He was just so alert. He had a long attention span compared to other babies his age…he was speaking in sentences by the time he was one…When he was two and a half, I decided it was time to get him tested. The Stanford Binet Intelligence Scale and the Wechsler Preschool and Primary Scale of Intelligence confirmed it."
"Wow."
"That was my first reaction as well. He can have an intelligent conversation with you one minute, then the next, he's fighting me on his bed time. Or he's frustrated because he's still having trouble learning how to tie his shoes…"
"I'm sure he gets it from you. Being bright, I mean," he corrected.
She laughed again. "Thanks for the clarification."
He smiled, knowing he was right. Noah's father was an idiot for letting her and their son get away. He stood up and held out his hand to help her stand up. "What do you say, friend? Shall we eat some lunch?"
"That sounds good, friend," she smiled.
Then she placed her hand in his, accepting his silent offer of help to stand up from her position on the Merry-Go-Round. They both felt it. And when they looked into one another's eyes, they both knew the other was feeling the same way.
Jamie didn't know how he'd be able to simply be her friend when every single cell in his body was screaming that she was more than that.
Breanne knew she was kidding herself. She wanted him. No man had ever made her feel the way that he did. It was intoxicating in the best way possible. But she couldn't play with fire when her son was the one who would be burned.
TBC...
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