Hi! Caz here. I got an MRI yesterday, because my doctor thought I might have brain tumors. I don't, fyi. I'm fine. But, I did have to sit perfectly still while they scanned me. And, for a girl with ADHD, that was horrible. Anyways, I fell asleep, and when I woke up I freaked out because I had no idea what was going on other then that I had to be still, and I had a complete silent panic attack. That's when this came to me. So, I guess it's kind of a Crack!fic...
Joel McKentrie was an okay guy.
Sure, he was a vampire, but things could be worse. He could kill to feed. Okay, fine, he did kill to feed. But, that didn't really count as killing, did it? I mean, everybody had to eat. And, Joel had a family to feed.
Well, actually, he didn't have a family to feed. He just liked to say that for appearances sake. Still, he had to eat to live, and he had to kill to eat. Under other circumstances, he might have gotten along with Captain Jack Harkness.
I mean, Jack like charisma, right? And, judging by his preference in men, Jack certainly liked neatness. Joel was a very neat-'n-tidy man. On his planet, they believed in pristine neatness, and their appearance showed that. They were like humans, but paler, taller, and with fangs. Don't forget the fangs. Joel's species believed in never killing to eat. They obtained a blood-like substance from the plants on their planet, and that was that.
But, that planet was gone now. Burnt, by the Timelords, in the Time War. Joel was the last survivor, escaping onto the small planet called Sol 3 for the rest of his much-longer-than-a-human's life.
Mr. McKentrie had been extremely surprised to find that the plants on Earth had no blood. The animals had blood, though. Unfortunately, there blood just wouldn't do. The cell count just wouldn't …erm… cooperate with Joel's digestive system, and he couldn't survive on it. Only human blood would do.
Unfortunately still, Joel simply couldn't bring himself to kill humans. Animals had been bad enough to kill, but actual homicide? That was out of the question. But, every month, Joel had to kill a human. And he sobbed, as he drank up the succulent blood in the alleyway.
That's how he was when Torchwood 1892 found him.
That's why Torchwood eventually had to release him, after learning the circumstances of his situation.
That's why, once a month, every month, Joel McKentrie would guiltily cradle Captain Jack Harkness as he slowly, willingly bled to death in the young vampire's arms.