Authors Note: Okay first of all let's talk about the title of this chapter. It has more than one meaning and if you can guess it I'll give you a special teaser to the final chapter on Wed. How's that sound? Secondly thanks so much for your reviews once again. I really appreciate all of the support that has been coming since i started this little fic. It makes me want to continue and start writing again once this is done. Speaking of which I have a little teaser about the next story that I'm working on at the bottom so check it out. A big thanks to my beta MizzDee! You doll are amazing and I'm so grateful to you!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter Five: If you Seek Amy

BPOV:

Two weeks, that's how long it had been since I'd gotten back from my book tour. My five-week book tour had been an amazing success. The book had become an almost instant overnight success that Tyler chalked up to the fact that I'd been in all the big cities doing book signings. I agreed with him simply because I'd seen it, hell by the time I got to New York there were already people who were comparing it to their own lives.

However my book tour also brought me more than success. It also brought me Alec. Alec was the personal bodyguard that had been assigned to me after Emmett had to head home unexpectedly two weeks into the tour. We didn't get along at first, but after a few late nights on the road I'd warmed up to him and we developed a relationship. However it wasn't a romantic one until the last night when he kissed me.

At first I didn't want to be with him, but when he showed up at my apartment I knew I had to give him a chance. So for the first time in six years I found myself in a genuine relationship. Alec was amazing, which was kind of a shock for me considering all the slime balls I'd dated in the past. He treated me better than anyone had before and I found myself genuinely happy. I even found myself missing him when he wasn't around.

Things were in a good place, well most things. My friendships were different now. Alice barely spoke to me when she was home which was practically never, and I knew it had something to do with her brother. Then there was Edward. I missed him so much, but after that day in the meadow things had changed.

Sixteen weeks ago:

I stared at him as he quickly pulled away from me, shock and fear on his face. I watched as he pulled his clothes back on and I slowly gathered my own up. He started walking away and I quickly shot to my feet.

"Edward –"

He held up his hand, his back still facing me.

"Don't, just don't Bella."

I watched in silence as he walked away, leaving me cold, alone and confused.

I hadn't talked to nor seen him in a little over sixteen weeks and it hurt. However, I wasn't stupid. I knew what happened that day and I knew how badly it changed things. We didn't fuck that day in the meadow. We made love out there and in doing so, we broke every rule and the sad part was, I didn't care. I shook my thoughts from my head when I heard a knock on the door.

"It's open," I called; half hoping it would be Edward who walked through the door.

"Hey Belly Bean." Emmett said as he walked in, Rose following behind him.

"Hey big brother," I walked over and hugged him before turning to Rose. "Hey Rose, are you feeling any better?"

Rose had been sick off and on for five weeks, causing Emmett to do nothing but worry.

"Hey Bella, uh actually we need to talk to you." She shared a look with Em and I was instantly worried.

"Guys, what's going on?"

Emmett took my hand and together they led me to the couch, forcing me to sit with them on each side of me.

"Bells, you know how Rosie hasn't been feeling well lately?"

I gave him a nod and Rose took my hand into hers.

"Bella, I'm having a baby."

I looked at Rose, then Emmett, before a smile came to my face and a tear to my eye.

"Emmy, you're going to be a dad?"

He nodded and took my other hand. "Yep, that's right, Auntie Bella."

I looked back at Rose, who had tears in her own eyes.

"Oh God Rose, but I thought…?"

"I did too, Bella, but they always said it could happen, it was just that the percentage was so low that we just believed it wouldn't."

I pulled her into a hug as she cried on my shoulder. We pulled apart and I leaned towards her stomach.

"Hi little bunny, I'm your Auntie Bella. I'm so excited right now and I can't wait until you're all done cooking so I can hold you in my arms and spoil the crap out of you."

Rose and Emmett laughed as I sat back up.

"So how far along are you?"

Rose laughed again. "Well actually about sixteen weeks."

I stared at her before Emmett chimed in.

"We never thought to check when she got sick so it didn't occur to us until Rose noticed a weight gain a few days ago."

"So you're in the second trimester?" She gave me a nod and I smiled at the two of them. "I'm so fucking happy for you two!"

"Bella language!" They both yelled before we all started laughing again.

"So you're going to be an aunt?" Alec asked as we pulled up to club Twilight the following evening.

"Yep, she's like sixteen weeks along right now," I said as we got out of the car and walked up to get in line. We talked about Rose and Emmett until the bouncer got to us and we flashed him our ID's before walking inside.

"Table or bar, baby?" Alec asked, leaning down to whisper in my ear. A shiver ran through me and I felt myself getting slightly damp.

"Uh, table please."

He took my hand and guided us through the crowd to a table near the bar that a group had just vacated. As we were going to sit down another couple were trying to as well. I looked up and was surprised to find Alice and Jasper staring back at me. Jasper gave me a small smile and Alice just looked at Alec before looking at me.

"Hey Bella," Jasper said and I quickly decided to make the introductions.

"Alice, Jasper, this is my boyfriend, Alec."

Jasper and Alec shook hands and Alice gave him a small smile.

"Well looks like we want the same table. Since we all know each other why don't we just sit together," Alec suggested and we all agreed. I sat next to Alec and across form Alice, who kept staring at me. The boys talked for a while over a mutual love of history before Alice interrupted them.

"Jazz, will you get me a drink please?"

He nodded and Alec turned to me.

"You want a beer, baby?" I nodded and they walked away. I turned to Alice as soon as they were out of earshot and decided it was time to get this over with.

"Okay Allie, let me have it."

She sighed then looked up at me. "I'm sorry I haven't been around the apartment much since you came back."

"Did you move out?"

She shook her head. "Nope, I just, I couldn't deal."

I sighed. "So he told you?"

"I knew after you left my folks house that weekend. I saw how he was after you left with Felix."

"I know you told Felix to find me."

"I wish I hadn't. It ruined everything and now…I'm sorry Bella."

Alice whispered as the guys came back with drinks in hand. I watched as she gave Jasper a huge smile and I knew that eventually she'd talk to me about the other things that were on her mind.

"No he didn't." I laughed as Alec told me a story about his brother, Marcus.

"I'm serious, Bella, he walked right up to her and said I'm the man so deal with it."

I started laughing as we opened the door and walked inside together. He pulled me against him as the door closed and I leaned up to kiss him lightly. I started to pull away when he tightened his grip and the mood of the kiss changed. His tongue touched my lips before slipping inside to dual with my own, and his right hand cupped my face while the other moved to my hip. We broke apart and his lips moved to my neck.

"Bella," he whispered in between kiss, "baby, you're amazing. I've never been this attracted to anyone before."

My body hummed as he kissed along my collarbone to the other side of my neck, his hands moving to grip both of my hips. I wanted to reply but I didn't know what to say at all. Instead I pulled his mouth up and gave him a kiss before taking his hand and pulling him into my room. He closed the door as I walked over to the bed and lay down on my midnight blue duvet cover.

"I want you," I whispered as he stalked towards me, pulling his shirt over his head in the process. He took my hands and gently pulled me up into a sitting position.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded and he pulled my shirt over my head. I pulled him down on top of me, as he stared back down at me. His lips were about to meet mine when we both heard it.

"Bella, are you home?"

Alec looked at the door before rolling off of me.

"Go," he whispered and I quickly grabbed a hoodie of the floor, throwing it on before stepping out.

"Alice, what's up?" I asked, closing the door behind me.

"I wanted to talk to you."

I nodded and we walked towards her room. She closed the door and we sat down on the floor in front of her bed like we always use to in high school. We sat in complete silence before she finally looked at me.

"He started dating Amy," she whispered and my heart constricted in pain, but I wasn't going to show her that.

"I'm with Alec now, Alice. Edward is free to date whomever he wants."

Alice looked at me and I wasn't surprised to find anger in her eyes.

"You're both morons."

"Alice - "

"I have always thought that you two were perfect for each other. I was just waiting for you two to realize it for yourselves. But when you did…Bella he's in love with you."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Alice, what we were doing was scratching an itch until someone else came around. It wasn't anything serious."

"So for four weeks, you fucked my brother and never once wanted a little more?"

I stood up and glared down at her. "No, not once Alice. We had rules and when things got weird, we stopped. It wasn't some amazing and beautiful fairy tale romance. It was just screwing."

She stood up and threw her hands in the air. "Bella, I like Alec, but you're going to hurt him if you keep letting yourself believe that."

"Screw you, Alice," I whispered before I stormed out her door and back to my own room. I walked in and quickly threw off my hoodie before climbing back on Alec. As I was leaning forward to kiss him, Alec rolled us over so that I was lying on my back and he was above me.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"I want this, Alec. Can we just pretend that we weren't interrupted by her?"

He stared at me until he finally just gave in. He leaned down and captured my lips with his. I opened my mouth and his tongue slipped inside while my hands flew up into his short blonde hair. His hands slipped down chest until he found my bra. He pulled back one of the cups and rolled my nipple with his finger. I moaned as my eyes closed and my head fell back. He leaned forward, kissing my neck and rolling my nipple over and over again. I found myself moaning and wiggling under him when suddenly everything changed around me. Suddenly it wasn't Alec's lips leaving wet kisses on my neck, nor was it his hands or his body that were on me. It was Edward and before I could stop it, his name slipped out from my lips.

Alec stopped kissing and pinching while I cringed. He climbed off of me but I remained perfectly still with my eyes still closed. I heard a rustling noise followed by the squeaking of my desk chair before he finally asked what I knew he would.

"Who's Edward?"

I opened my eyes and found Alec, completely dressed and sitting at my desk across from me. I sat up and he handed me my top, which I slipped on before pulling my legs up to my chest.

"He was my best friend," I said and I looked up at Alec before I said the rest, "and the last man I slept with."

He nodded and ran his hands through his short hair. "Do you love him?"

I looked up at the ceiling then back at him. "A week ago I would have said no, but now…I don't know."

He stood up and held his hand out to me before pulling me up so I was standing with him.

"Do you love him, Bella?" he whispered and a tear slipped from my eyes.

"I slept with another man while Edward and I were, well for lack of a better term, using each other and the whole time I couldn't stop thinking about him. I think at one point I even imagined it was him there with me instead of the other guy."

He laughed and wiped the tear from my cheek.

"I knew there was a reason I was attracted to you. You always want what you cant have and in my case it wasn't you physically, but rather your heart. Bella, you love him and I think you realize that now."

I nodded and looked at the ground. "But he walked away from me."

He lifted my chin and smiled at me. "What's broken can always be fixed if someone is willing to repair it."

I smiled at him. "You're too good for me."

He laughed and wrapped me in his arms. "I adore you, Bella, and I'll miss you, but you need to be with person you love, baby. Just be with him." He kissed my forehead before walking out.

I slumped down to the ground and let my tears fall. I cried for what I'd lost with Alec and for what I'd thrown away with Edward. I looked up when I felt arms wrap around me.

"Alice?"

She smiled at me and nodded. "I love you, Bella, but you're incredibly dumb."

"I love him, Allie…I love that idiot brother of yours."

"I know you do."

"But he walked away."

She looked me square in the eyes and I saw the determination in them. "So you chase after him."

EPOV:

I slammed my apartment door and made my way up to my bedroom before collapsing on my bed. Instantly I regretted that action as the smell of Bella assaulted me. I stood up and looked down at my tan comforter with a scowl on my face. I'd washed it at least twenty times and it still reeked of her scent. I threw my arms up and stomped over to my desk as the front door opened. Emmett looked up at me with a smile on his face.

"Sure go ahead walk right in," I snarled as he looked at me.

"What happened to your open door policy?"

I walked to the fridge and grabbed a beer before slamming it closed.

"Why are you here?"

"Bells made us leave so fast I never got to a chance to ask if you found her that night."

I chugged my beer then went from another one.

"Yeah I found her."

He waved his hand for me to continue but I ignored him.

"Come on man, I know you slept with her."

I ignored him again and walked away.

"Wait," I said turning back to him, "aren't you supposed to be on the road with her right now?"

He sighed. "Yeah, but I had a family thing come up."

"She's your family."

"So is Rose."

I walked away from him and collapsed on the couch while he took a seat in the armchair near me.

"So, want to tell me how long you've been sleeping with my sister?"

"Want to tell me how you know?"

We shared a look before the answer hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Alice," we both said at the same time.

"Edward, she comes home tomorrow."

"So."

"Dude, you've avoided all of us for weeks now. You should talk to her."

"There's nothing to say. Besides, I've moved on."

His eyebrows rose. "Really now?"

"Yeah, remember that girl that works at Alice's sex shop?"

"Yeah, the redhead?"

"I asked her out when I dropped Alice's stuff off today."

He looked down at his hands before looking up at me.

"She looked like shit after the bar guy dropped her off."

"And I care why?"

"Because you love her."

"No I fucked her, big difference."

I watched as Emmett's fists curled up before he finally got up and walked to the door.

"You may not care right now, but eventually you will and when that happens, she may not be there anymore."

He walked out and I rolled my eyes.

"So, what'd you think?" Amy asked as we walked out of the theater a couple weeks later.

"Ashton Kutcher wasn't half bad for once, but every time I see Natalie Portman all I see is her dressed as Padme."

Amy stopped walking and looked up at me. "As who?"

"Uh Padme…Queen Amidala from Star Wars episodes one through three."

"Oh, yeah never seen 'em"

My eyes bulged out of my head as she walked on.

"You've never seen Star Wars?"

"Nope, not even the old ones."

I grabbed her hand and she turned around. "Next movie night, we're watching them."

"Okay," she said before we walked to the car.

"Hey," I looked down over the loft and found Jasper standing in front of the door, "I hope it's okay. Allie gave me her key since you shut down the policy."

I hit the button on my monitor before going down to meet him.

"No it's okay." I watched as he fiddled around nervously before finally looking at me.

"I want to marry your sister."

I laughed and took a seat on one of the stools near my bar counter. "Wow that's…wow."

"Yeah," he said as he sat down next to me, "I asked your dad when we were there, but I feel like I should ask you."

"Jasper, I appreciate that, but you don't have to ask me."

"You're her big brother and she loves you, so yeah I do."

"Well in that case, I give you my blessing."

"Thank you."

"Yeah." I smiled, thinking about how happy Alice was going to be when Jasper cleared his throat.

"Okay I have to ask, are you ever going to talk to Bella again?"

I rolled my eyes. "I never said I wasn't talking to her."

"Well she's been back a couple weeks now and you haven't come by once, so I figured you weren't speaking."

"I've been busy with work and Amy."

"Yeah I heard about Amy. I even got to meet Bella's version of 'Amy'."

"Her version?"

"She's been dating this guy named Alec. I guess he was her body guard on the book tour after Emmett left."

My heart constricted in pain at his words, but I ignored it. "Good for her."

I started walking away when he called my name. "Have you seen the book yet?"

I turned around as he held out a copy of Bella's book to me. "Not the published version but I've read it before."

He walked over and handed it to me. "You should read the dedication." He gave me one last nod before exiting my apartment.

I looked down at the book and slowly opened it to the front page. Her dedication was short, but what she'd written tore my heart in two.

-To my very first editor, whom I owe everything to. -

I slammed the book closed and took it up to my office where I kept all my novels before shoving it on the shelf, hoping the words would go with it.

"Okay, so that little boy will eventually become Darth Vader?" Amy asked as I kissed up her neck.

"Uh huh," I said as she grabbed my face and pulled it up.

"Eddie, you wanted me to watch this."

"I know, but seeing you watching my favorite series and understanding it…that's fucking hot."

She giggled before I captured her lips with mine. Her arms wrapped around me as I lowered us down on the couch. We broke apart and I moved my kisses to her neck and my hands moved to the hem of her shirt.

"Take it off," she whispered and I quickly removed it from her body. I stared down at her and she smiled. "I want you, Edward."

"But we've only been dating three weeks, are you sure?"

She nodded, then just to prove how sure she was she undid her red bra, revealing herself to me. I groaned at the sight and she moved her breasts up towards me.

"Touch me, I need you to touch me."

I leaned down and captured her nipple in my mouth, sucking on it lightly as she moaned under me.

"Oh god Edward, yes."

My hand moved to her other nipple and pinched it lightly as she wrapped her legs around my hips. I bit down on her nipple and she practically screamed.

"Touch me, baby."

I laughed. "I am touching you."

She took my hand and moved it under her skirt to her lace-covered center.

"No touch my pussy."

I pulled the lace aside and ran my index finger up her slit.

"Oh fuck Bella, you're so wet for me."

She froze and I looked down trying to figure out why when she suddenly pushed me off of her.

"Who the fuck is Bella?" she screamed as the door to my apartment opened.

"Sorry the door was unlocked and I needed to…oh hey Amy." Alice said as she walked in.

Amy quickly pulled her clothes on and glared at me. "Don't call me again, asshole."

The door slammed and Alice gave me an apologetic smile.

"It wasn't you. I called her Bella."

Alice walked over and sat down on the side that Amy hadn't previously been on. "Talk to her."

"I have nothing to say."

"How about I love you or I miss you."

I looked at Alice and sighed. "I don't love her, Allie."

She rolled her eyes. "But you miss her?"

I nodded. "Of course I do. She's my best friend."

"Then talk to her because I know she misses you too."

I shook my head and looked at her. "So why are you here?"

"Oh yeah, look!" She thrust her left hand at me and I smiled.

"You're getting married?"

"Yes, can you believe it?"

"Congrats Allie, he's a good guy."

"Thanks, big brother." I pulled her into my arms and smiled.

I only had to go into the office twice a month and unfortunately the next morning was one of those days. So after maybe two hours of sleep and seven hours of nonstop meetings I was more than ready for bed. However, when I walked into my apartment I knew there was no way in hell I was sleeping any time soon.

"What are you doing here, Isabella?"

She turned around and glared at me.

"You only call me Isabella when you're mad and right now you don't have a right to be mad."

A/N: So mizzdee says i'm mean for ending it the way i did and honestly it had to end this way. It just had to and you'll see why next chapter. Favorite part? Mine has to be when she has her argument with Alice. I've been there with my friends one time or another and I felt like Bella each time. Reviews get teased.

My next project has no name yet, so if you can think of a good one let me know. Here's the teaser for it.

My name is Bella Swan, and my life is a complete disaster. When I was only three months old my parents decided that I was going to marry my dad's best friend's son, Jacob. Only one problem with that. Jacob is gay...I'm not talking just a little gay, I mean full fledged, out there and happy to be that way, gay. Only my parents and his are the only ones that don't see it. So basically I'm screwed.

(let me know what you think. It's actually a lot funnier than I'm making it sound but yet let me know whatcha think.)