Now that I liked Yuki more than a friend, it only meant that Kyo was going to distant himself from us. I just wasn't ready for that. That same summer evening, we came back to Shigure's house. Everyone went to their separate rooms, no one spoke. No one but me and Yuki, we said goodnight to each other before going into our separate rooms.

I thought about me and Kyo's conversation. I couldn't but feel that I was going to lose a friend.

"Damn it Tohru, you don't get it… I'm not worried about you forgetting me… I'm actually more worried about you not forgetting me…"

"What? You want me to forget you?"

"Yeah… can you do that for me?"

"I'm sorry. I can't. Wouldn't and couldn't."

"That's too bad… it might hurt in time…"

Chapter - 6 Sudden Realization

"Gah! I'm bored as hell…" Kyo finally stood up from the porch steps. "That's just one more thing I hate about this damn house…" he yawned all catlike, staring at me for some feedback. "It's always so boring here."

I was quiet for a moment before I spoke. Yuki's house wasn't so bad to me. Then again, I was fine with anything that was offered to me. "I love it here."

"Only because you didn't know us around your childhood." he told me, without looking. "…So that really doesn't count."

I smiled, "…but I wish I had of."

"No… you don't." he bluntly answered for me. "…trust me." he yawned again. "Damn, I must be tired. But I have no clue why."

I had no idea either, I noticed Kyo always went to sleep early. In our high school days, I remembered how he used to stay up on the roof and often sleep there till the morning. I don't know if sleeping at 8pm came with maturing in age or that was just his own decision. Then I thought, it's only 1pm, why would he be sleepy now?

Abruptly, a raindrop fell from the sky and landed on Kyo's cheek and just like that, he took a giant step back realizing it was about to rain. "Nice. That would have been my next guess…." he said, sarcastically and pouted.

I laughed, "Oh yeah, today is sixty percent of rain. I forgot." I also forgot how the rain affected him. It always made him all groggy and moody. You see, cats hate rain and since Kyo was born in the year of the cat, well you catch my drift, don't you?

Kyo yawned again and this time he frowned. "Damn it…"

"Come on, let's go inside, I'll fix us some coco." I suggested then Kyo opened the door for me. We both walked in and he stood there, on the mat, shaking off the remaining droplets from his hair like an angry cat, then glared that the shower brewing outside.

"I hate the rain."

"I love it."

"Is there anything you don't love?" Kyo wondered, following me into the kitchen.

I stopped in front of the pantry, "Hm, I don't love being alone." I replied. "Oh… and I don't love being bored or sad…" Actually, there were a lot of things I didn't like. I just did a good job in hiding them.

As I paced around the kitchen, Kyo eyes forever watched me.

…like he was hungry. Not only like he was hungry, but like I was a walking fresh piece of meat. It was the same look as the beast gave me last night. I paused waiting for him to respond but he just stared at me. But it was weird, after a few seconds, his eyes stopped following me, instead they were fixated.

"Not now…" he mumbled.

"Kyo?" I called to him, and his eyes turned black. Maybe from hearing my voice? My heart thumped loudly. But I urged myself to continue making coco for us. It was daytime, so he couldn't transform into that thing right? Suddenly he glanced at me. I assumed he came back from wherever his mind was.

"Kyo? Are you okay?" I asked again.

"Uh…" Kyo covered his mouth, his hand trembling from fear. It was almost like he was trying so hard to keep back something evil, something abominable… whatever it was, it tried its hardest to consume him but he just wouldn't let it. "… I'm going to bed… Laters…" his eyes were still stained with black.

"What? Kyo? It's only 1:30 in the afternoon." I watched him paced upstairs.

"I can't, sorry." his voice seemed so choked up, like something large was stuck in his throat. Speaking of his voice, it was unduly low for how it was usually. I didn't want to think of Kyo transforming into a beast before my eyes so I said no more to him.

But…

"Hm…" I wondered, thinking I should probably go upstairs and see if he was okay? But then part of me stopped me. A voice screamed "You idiot!" but it sure wasn't me who said it.

I left the teapot steaming to pace upstairs, "You stupid idiot. You got too close to her… I better be careful next time before it's too late." Kyo was talking to himself again, loud and clear. I could hear his words through his bedroom door. I knew he heard me because he quit mumbling to himself and walked over to the door. I should of known not to sneak on the one who had the catlike instincts in the family.

Not even a second of me deciding to knock, he opened the door. "What?"

"Oh uh…" this would have been easier if he was fine with me saying sorry.

…But I stood there stupid, unable to say anything. On top of that, I could tell that his body went through something stressful before he opened the door, his pale face was glistening with sweat particles. But the young man's eyes were still tainted with a black aurora. Was he hungry for me or something? I wondered.

"Well… what do you want, huh?"

"Eh, are you okay…"

"I'm fine… just tired, talk to you tomorrow." he was about to slam the door but stopped, "… that's if that damn Yuki allows me. Good night!" then the door slammed in my face. This sucks. All this time I waited for him to open up to me again like old times but now it seemed harder than ever.

I wanted to cry. How could someone be so happy then turn hateful quickly after. I knew Kyo enough to know that he acted that way because he was frustrated and confused. He didn't trust too many people to tell his thoughts. Sadly, I wanted him to know that I knew his secret, that he could trust me to accept him how he was.

But like I said before, I was no different. He once again looked at me like he did Yuki. I don't know if I could handle that. I also didn't know if I could go on being with Yuki while Kyo hated me.

I walked down stairs, refusing to go back upstairs for anything. There were a couple of sounds I would hear, none of them loud or suspicious sounding enough for me to care. I take that back, I did care very much but I didn't want to think that there was a monster replacing Kyo in his own room. So with that being said, I had my coco by myself.

Hours went by and finally Yuki and his cousin stepped in the door. I laid there in a blanket almost dozing off.

"She's practically asleep." Yuki sighed.

"…Is that the first thing you thought about?" Shigure smiled, "I'm shocked that you didn't mention the fact that Kyo hadn't taken a bite of her yet."

That's when I snapped out of my doze. Yuki glared at his older cousin, "That's not funny."

"Yuki… you guys are home."

"Yeah and where is Miss Hanajima?" Yuki asked frowning.

I totally forgot that I told Yuki she was coming when really, she wasn't. But I couldn't lie to my husband to be again. "She couldn't make it." That would have been less of a lie. I waited for his eyes to widen in anger but Yuki never did, nor did he raised his voice at me. Instead he pointed above us.

"That cat is up there, isn't he?"

I couldn't help but smile a bit. "I think so." I replied. Now it was just two of us, Shigure already went into his office.

"So you were by yourself then." Yuki asked me, "I wouldn't have left you here if I knew that she wasn't coming."

"I know." I sighed, "…but I was fine. Nothing bad happened." I would keep Kyo's little panic scene to myself. At least that's what I thought it was…

"Just pure luck…" Yuki uttered.

Unexpectedly, the door opened and to our surprise Kyo was standing right there, soak and wet. He closed the door, walking into the living room. I just stared. I couldn't believe it and the more I thought about it, the more I was in denial of seeing him standing right there.

"Kyo…" I breathed.

"So you did leave." Yuki frowned at him.

No, I could have told Yuki that Kyo never left. I never saw Kyo come down stairs. So how he got in that door was a mystery to me. Kyo ignored him and went into the kitchen. I was still amazed to see Kyo keeping his cool even when Yuki asked him again.

One other thing threw me off about the whole situation though. Besides being in his room and spontaneously coming through the front door without leaving upstairs, I wondered, why he was all soak and wet. I honestly thought he hated the rain.

"I had to leave," Kyo told my fiancé. "It's boring in this damn house…" he admitted. Kyo then looked at me and I blinked, still surprised to see him now in front of us again. The last thing I noticed was that his eyes were back to being ruby color and they were deep ruby eyes that looked almost brown. Now that was weird and gave me the chills.

"Why ask? Am I not allowed to leave either…?" Kyo growled at Yuki, in his hand was the cup of coco I made for him.

"Full of surprises…" I thought.

"I was skeptical. I thought you would be inside because of what the rain does to you. Am I wrong…?" Yuki replied back.

"Yeah, about that." Kyo pouted, "What better way to get over that B.S. phobia. So I drowned myself in water till I couldn't take the torture anymore…" Kyo sarcastically cooed, walking upstairs.

Yuki rolled his eyes. "Are you okay, Miss Honda?"

"I'm okay." I beamed a fake smile.

"Good."

I was kinda happy, Kyo pretty much lied for me. He knew that Yuki didn't want me by myself with him so he pulled a Houdini and walked in the door like he left. Still, even at this hour, I knew that Kyo had some way of pulling the trick he did. But I dropped the topic. I supposed, Kyo wouldn't tell me how he did it anyways, so there was no need in trying to hurt my brain over it.

I made dinner for us and Kyo never came down for it.

"If you're worried about Kyo then ignore it. Leave him." Yuki told me, "…that stupid cat wouldn't eat even if you tied his tail to a mouse trap." I placed Yuki's plate of rice and dumplings in front of him.

"Maybe he might eat…" I sighed. Then again, Yuki was probably right. Kyo had already a bunch meals. It would be a waste to call him down here only to watch him twirl his fork and refuse the dish. Then I would feel bad for asking him to eat.

I sighed again, "What if I'm a bad cook…"

"Nonsense dear…" Shigure smiled. "Yuki is right, Kyo wouldn't eat even if you paid him. Besides, someone like Kyo doesn't need to eat anymore, anyways."

"He doesn't?" Kyo doesn't need to eat anymore. I wondered. This was just another outspoken clue to derive more thoughts. This one made more sense than all the others though. This explained why he needed to 'hunt' at night. Right?

But, I wasn't about to ask for further detail. There was no need to. I had no doubts now that my findings were incorrect.

Yuki glowered at his cousin. "…Shigure…"

"What? That's all I'm saying. If Kyo doesn't want to eat then he doesn't have to…" Shigure took a bite out of one of his fried dumplings.

I found myself losing my appetite.

"What's the matter Tohru?" Shigure asked me, reading my face.

"Heh, I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat." I faked a smile again, "I guess I'm just tired."

"I bet it's because of what you said, Shigure." Yuki frowned at him.

"No… no…" I shook my head, "I'm just tired. Heh, I think my hot coco I had this afternoon ruined my appetite. I'm sorry." I tossed my food and placed my plate in the sink. "Night, Yuki… night Shigure."

Before I could sleep, I walked passed my room and stopped at Kyo's room. It didn't feel like there was anyone there, which was until I saw a single shadow move in the crack of the door, Kyo's shadow. I sighed and walked back into my room. "Maybe… we will talk tomorrow."

Three Years Ago…

"Awe, come on you all… that's no picture. Tohru is the only one who's smiling." Shigure told us sighing and shaking his head.

Yuki made a half smile. "Happy?"

"Screw pictures, I don't smile!" Kyo crossed arms. "I rather die smelling rat boy's breath."

"Tsk, tsk…" Shigure sighed again, "I promise it will be the only picture. I just need a nice graduation picture for Akito."

"HEY my breath does not stink!" Yuki finally frowned at Kyo, realizing what he said, "Stupid cat! Why don't you go take a bath?"

"Because I don't take baths, real men take showers!"

"Yuki? Kyo…" I smiled, "Cheese!"

Both boys seized their conversation and blinked twice in confusion. "CHEEESE?"

-Snap-

"Got it." Shigure laughed, "Thanks dear, it was the perfect picture for Akito… and the whole Sohma family to see, Muaha."

"Bastard!" Kyo screamed out, running after Shigure, a scared and frightened Shigure, I might add. "Gimme that picture!" I laughed at them all, regardless. Yuki sighed.

"Those two act like they are in preschool."

"You aren't going to chase after them either?" I supposed not. Yuki was the reserved one. He smiled at me, shaking his head slowly.

"Me chase them." I knew it, he was much too mature for that. Instead he just asked me to walk outside with him while the other two tore up the house. It was cold outside for summer and I shivered in my jacket.

"Can I ask you something?"

I blinked. "Sure."

"Okay." Yuki turned around, staring at the ground. "You have been with us for some time now. I wanted to know how you felt about me…"

"Felt? Hmm." I wondered. "I feel great about you. I mean, we have been friends for a while now and me you and Kyo have fun times together. Like when we camped out and went to the park. OH yeah! And do you remember the time when we all squirted Kyo with the water hose? We have so many memories together, especially meal time and stuff like that. You know?"

Yuki raised a brow then shook his head, "No… not that kind of feeling." he laughed, "I mean how I make you feel… do you have any feelings for me…"

"Oh…" then I realized that he was trying to ask me out, well it felt like that anyways.

He turned around, locking eyes with me. "That's okay, Miss Honda. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"No no…" I couldn't help smiling. "You're asking me if I like you more than a friend, right?" I really did like Yuki. In fact, I think I had a crush on him and I was just too scared to admit it. I had learned to keep certain things to myself. Liking Yuki more than a friend, was something I would definitely keep a secret. I did that because all the girls in school liked him as well. Battling with that, Yuki didn't need to know that I liked him as well.

…Did he?

"I guess that's what I'm trying to ask." he blushed, "But you don't have to tell me. It was a bad idea anyways."

Our teen school years were over and Yuki didn't have to worry about all those crazy girls messing with him and falling at his feet. He could finally live a normal life and be close with the ones he cared about. Despite all that, I realized, this may be the only opportunity to spill out how I felt about him. "I do like you…" I kinda smiled, feeling quite embarrassed.

"You do?" he violet eyes widened.

"Yeah, I have always liked you. I've just been hiding it all this time."

"But why?" Yuki questioned me. "If I would have known then…" We were so deep in our conversation we didn't even hear Kyo call out to us.

"I SAID HEY! Are you guys ready to go to this STINKIN party?" Kyo frowned. "Something is wrong", a voice told him as he marched over to us. "Are you slowpokes ready to go… or what?" Kyo wondered, glaring at Yuki. I think… he knew what we talked about. I never underestimated Kyo and his awareness, however, Yuki always did. But after that, Kyo stared straight at me, trying to read my face.

"Oh." I uttered, "I forgot about the party." I smiled, "We'll be late."

"Right." Yuki followed me.

Kyo raised a brow. I felt his eyes burning a hole on the back of my neck but I ignored it. And my reason? Simply because if I had shown my face to him, he would of seen the truth, the certainty of Yuki and I existing as a couple. He was mad about it and I hoped to the heavens that I wouldn't have to tell him all by myself.

…But once we got to the Sohma house, Kyo tugged lightly on my wrist just before I passed the gate. His hand was warm and caught my attention quickly. "Hey…" it was a concerned 'hey,' almost like he was worried about my being or something. "So are you and that damn Yuki official now?" I felt like the question was testing me, bunging to a corner so I couldn't escape.

"Like dating?" I don't know why I said that. I knew what he was talking about. Now it was me who played on his awareness to protect my own feelings, shielding them from being read. "I don't know. We only talked about it… He'll probably forget about it, hehe…"

"No." Kyo shook his head, "He won't ever forget that… not ever."

"Oh…"

"It's okay…I knew that he was going to ask you… and I know you like him too. He's normal and much calmer than me right?" Kyo placed his hands in his pocket, his hair blowing so fervently in the wind.

"Kyo?" I pouched out my lower lip, "…how could you say that? I like you guys the same. I always have and always will." but Kyo wasn't convinced. Instead he wasn't even listening to me, he just shook his head. I could tell he was hurting.

"Maybe you did then but this is now…" he sighed. "Besides, he's better for you, I have too much crap going on with me… Maybe if you are with him, you can live your fairy tale dream."

"Even if we were to date, I wouldn't forget about you if that's worried you're worried about." I smiled, called myself, trying to lighten the mood…

"Damn it Tohru, you don't get it… I'm not worried about you forgetting me… I'm actually more worried about you not forgetting me…"

"What?" Now I was worried, "You want me to forget you?"

"Yeah… can you do that for me?" he requested.

"I'm sorry. I can't. Wouldn't and couldn't."

"That's too bad… it might hurt in time…" those were his last words and since he wasn't allowed to come in to join us, he waited outside till the party was over. He was fine with the few people that stayed outside with him as well. But on the way home, Kyo never said anything. I could have tried to say something to him but I was just too scared that he may be mad at me for liking Yuki.

…That is what all this was about right?

Now that I liked Yuki more than a friend, it only meant that Kyo was going to distant himself from us. I just wasn't ready for that. That same summer evening, we came back to Shigure's house. Everyone went to their separate rooms, no one spoke. No one but me and Yuki, we said goodnight to each other before going into our separate rooms.

I thought about me and Kyo's conversation. I couldn't but feel that I was going to lose a friend.

"Damn it Tohru, you don't get it… I'm not worried about you forgetting me… I'm actually more worried about you not forgetting me…"

"What? You want me to forget you?"

"Yeah… can you do that for me?"

"I'm sorry. I can't. Wouldn't and couldn't."

"That's too bad… it might hurt in time…"

That last bit of our conversation confused me but… in the morning it all made sense, when we all woke up and Kyo Sohma was gone. But we didn't get it… We thought it would be like other times. Like when Kyo would leave for a few days then would find his way back home because he was hungry… or when he would leave for a few hours because Yuki drove him nuts…

NO! This wasn't like other times at all… Kyo was really gone… gone for good…

Present…

Hm, it was a dream.

Here I was dreaming of the past, like an old woman in her rocking chair. It was a good thing that I had that reminisce and I realized in my dream that maybe Kyo was trying to tell me something. Ever since I moved into Shigure's house, I have always had mixed feelings for both Yuki and Kyo. Maybe Kyo was trying to tell me that if I didn't choose one and forget the other then it would hurt me in the end.

I will never forget the look in his eyes when he told me that three years ago. If it had been anyone else, they might have missed those soft emotions that crossed his deep ruby eyes at that moment, but not me. I knew he was hurting and I never held my hand out.

Now, since he's been back, I have been trying to figure out the emotionless pale Kyo. Not just him but his facial expressions too. Which I hadn't quite successfully done yet. I mean, even though I knew his secret, I still wanted to know what his mysterious eyes would always be trying to tell me and why he was so cold all the time.

But thinking now, I feel that dream was a sign that I had chosen the wrong guy. Kyo had been reaching out to me all along. But I was too stubborn to see it. Unfortunately for me I didn't get the memo until after Yuki became my husband to be. Abruptly, another presence was in my room, so I thought…

I quickly opened my eyes, seeing nothing but the window wide open. I sighed, getting up to close it. I shivered, "No wonder it's so cold in here…" I sighed before something orange caught my eye. I peered into the darkness. Blinking, I rubbed my eyes continuously. That giant creature I saw a few nights ago was back and it stood lofty in the distance, just a block away from my window.

"Kyo…" I whispered. In return, its ruby eyes glowed eagerly at me, gawking so deep into my soul from so far away…