Beyond the Sohma Curse

by Madeleine Rosas

"What seemed to be a rather simple curse… twisted into something much greater than I was accustomed to. But I didn't care, even if Yuki loved me, my heart was oddly infatuated with the cursed cat." About The Fic - This fic is very mysterious and sentimental at the same time. I aim for the reader to wear the feelings of each character, especially Tohru and Kyo. /Suspense, angst.

12. The Calm

I paused, my eyes stared down at the floor. I was a bit nervous, maybe it was for the fact Yuki was staring me down. However, he took his hand, the one that rested neatly on my lap, and raised it to pull my face gently back to his. "Tell me, Tohru. What else did he say…?"

"Well he…" I swallowed. "He said that everyone knew about what he was becoming and said that you were the reason why he left…" I felt relieved.

"Hn." Yuki didn't deny it and instead, he dropped his hand, "…And that's all?" he asked a fourth time.

"He told me the stages of his curse… and what happened to me few years go…"

That made Yuki a tad annoyed I could tell. I wanted to stop answering his questions and stop talking all together but with him prying at me, I only felt more obligated. "…I see, so did he tell you that he was the reason why the Sohmas all have abilities?"

Chapter 12 - The Calm

"What a mess!" Shigure came outside to what look like a hurricane hit. "My trees are destroyed and my whole lawn is ruined." his waved his arms above his head like a little wimpy girl.

"You don't have a lawn, it's just wild grass that needs to be mowed." With a sleeve, Yuki wiped the remains of blood off his mouth and frowned, "Disgusting."

Kyo sighed, looking at the eaten away flesh nub that used to be his hand and tightly wrapped it in his jacket scarf. "It's going to have to take a whole hunt to get this back, screw you Yuki." he scoffed.

"Oh hush, you atrocious beast. Consider yourself lucky." Yuki grimaced, violet eyes filling up with disappointment, "If it wasn't for Tohru fainting, I would have taken off the other pathetic hand too."

"You boys don't know when to stop do you…" Shigure shook his head, lightly smiling, "And poor Tohru, you must have really scared the poor girl."

…But they only thought I fainted when really, I convinced myself to lay in one place with my eyes closed till it was all over. I watched enough bloodshed for it to bring me to my knees.

I felt eyes staring at me from where I was laying. "Tohru…" Yuki breathed.

Eventually I heard his light footsteps. I never heard anyone walk with so little sound, his steps never reverberating, only dying into muted thuds. Then he picked me up cautiously without transforming. His hand caressed my face for a second then he hesitated, "Never will you see that side of me again…" he whispered close to my ear.

"Kyo…" Shigure called to him, "I think it's best you stay away for just a little while… you seem a little… hungry." which must of meant Kyo's eyes were still charcoal black.

"Whatever." I heard the cat say, then came a light gasp. "Damn it… my car!" then I heard he kick what sounded like a scrap of metal to my ears. His precious car must have gotten hit when he and Yuki were fighting. That almost seemed expected.

Yuki finally took me inside, I doubt that I was heavy to him now. Since he possessed powers that proved his strength to be substantial. He carried me up the stairs to a room I didn't know but by the smell, I assumed it was his. Yuki had a certain smell to him that reminded me of a sweet spice and sadly his personal smell was merged in with the smell of blood and heat. Still, I couldn't help to slit my eyes to see if I was correct.

And I was… but Yuki was turned around meddling with something on his desk.

"I'm very stupid." he admitted out loud. "You would think, you're presence alone would be enough to stop me from losing control. If not that, then maybe the love I have for you would stop me…"

I didn't move and I didn't blink. I just watched him as he quit ruffling papers on his desk and took off his bloody shirt.

"…Why didn't I tell you about the curse before all this occurred… why was I dishonest to you?" he asked himself, "Why did I put you in harm's way?"

Then I swallowed, refusing to even take one breath. His voice made me sad. He carried so much guilt on his shoulders. I couldn't get mad at him for not telling me, his whole objective was for me to forget in the first place. That's why my memories were erased and that's why he never wanted me around Kyo. I knew he hated his curse. He feared us having hard life because he was different from me. I didn't care, but he did.

…He wanted me to forget that he was different, he wanted me to forget the curse that kept us from holding each other at night.

And again, I told him I didn't care… but in the end… he still did.

My thoughts were interrupted by his fist which hit the wall in aggravation. It was that type of aggravation that I wasn't familiar with. Yuki never took his anger out on other things around him. I was used to him being so nonchalant, peaceful and well, not heated. Then I assumed that this had to be the anger he tried so hard to hide. Now he couldn't help but let it out.

Just at that moment, my thoughts were interrupted again…

My fiancé frowned. "…I leave in day and I'm still fighting with someone that's not even worth my time…"

My light gasp made his eyes widen as he whipped to meet my face. "You're up…"

I blinked few times, my eyes finally focusing on the rat. "Yes…" I lightly nodded.

"What am I saying…?" Yuki sighed, a tint of red formed nicely on his pale cheeks, "You weren't a sleep at all were you?"

"No, I'm sorry…" I watched him sigh in disappointment as he came and sat down with me. It seemed like I waited forever for him to talk again and eventually he ended up keeping quiet. So I tried to start a new conversation, "…So you are leaving sooner than I thought…" It was too hard to believe honestly. I couldn't help the fact that I was going to miss him, no matter how dangerous he was to me. "The interview went well didn't it?" I asked and he quickly nodded.

"It did and I got hired." he smiled, blood still stained on parts of his face. "They wanted me to spend no time and start training tomorrow but I really wanted to spend some time with you before I had to leave. So they gave me an extra day."

"I see… that's very generous." I guess I didn't sound all that enthused to him.

His eyes searched my face for a hint of happiness but when they were unsuccessful, he gently sighed. "I know, Tohru… don't tell me. I have made you mistrust me. It doesn't matter what I say because you will always think I'm a lying monster." he grunted, "… I know Kyo told you a lot of things… about me and the curse."

"Yuki I don't think you're a liar." I took his hand and caressed it. "And I do trust you. But I have to admit… I'm afraid and I will always be little afraid. Plus these new powers you have… they are…"

Yuki freed himself from my grasp. "It's called the weight of the rat…" he spoke quickly, "…These are powers from my zodiac."

I silently shook my head in disbelief. I couldn't begin to imagine how much power he had. It must have been an endless amount of strength like Kyo's but Kyo's power was reasonable after all he was a wilder beast, however, Yuki was the rat. I guess I assumed someone who possessed the rat zodiac, would have the least amount of power of all zodiacs. Heh, of course I was wrong.

"I know it's weird. Why would a rat like me be so strong…" he half smiled, "Many underestimate the rat so having these abilities help me trick and beat my opponent."

I smiled. "I guess, your power came in handy today…" Before Yuki was always the one to beat Kyo. Now they fought as equals. Yuki shook his head at me.

"That's not the point…" he frowned, "It's the fact that they are frightening to you… I know this." he answered quickly, "I wish I could fix that…" he voice seemed harsh.

"Fix what?" I wondered.

He quickly paused, then proceeded to speak again, this time with another question. "What exactly did that stupid cat tell you…? I'm just curious." he raised a brow, "I don't doubt that everything he told you scared you… right?"

"Not really." I lied. "But he told me lots of things, about his side of the story… and…"

"Well now… it's my turn…" he interrupted me.

"Huh…" I blinked.

"It's my turn to tell you what really happened… and why Kyo is the way he is now." Yuki never blinked and he never budged as he spoke these words. His hand just remained on my lap, eyes never leaving mine for anything. I told myself that already knew about Kyo because it was the cat himself who told me. I trusted that he said the right thing and the honest truth but by my fiancé's face, it seemed that I didn't know half of what was about to brew.

Yuki himself, seemed that he had so much to tell me, like all information he had was buzzing so vibrantly in his intelligent head of his. Sad to say, before he could tell me anything he asked me again, "So he said nothing else?"

I paused, my eyes stared down at the floor. I was a bit nervous, maybe it was for the fact Yuki was staring me down. However, he took his hand, the one that rested neatly on my lap, and raised it to pull my face gently back to his. "Tell me, Tohru. What else did he say…?"

"Well he…" I swallowed. "He said that everyone knew about what he was becoming and said that you were the reason why he left…" I felt relieved.

"Hn." Yuki didn't deny it and instead, he dropped his hand, "…And that's all?" he asked a fourth time.

"He told me the stages of his curse… and what happened to me few years go…"

That made Yuki a tad annoyed I could tell. I wanted to stop answering his questions and stop talking all together but with him prying at me, I only felt more obligated. "…I see, so did he tell you that he was the reason why the Sohmas all have abilities?"

"Um…" okay now I was confused. I didn't get what that had to do with anything. Was Kyo a lot more important than I thought? Since I lived with the Sohmas, Kyo had always been the one to be casted out of the family as an outsider. Now Kyo was the key to all of this.

"I guess he didn't." my fiancé sighed, "…It may not seem like it, but that stupid cat is more important than you think. As I said, he is the reason why we have abilities in the first place and the real reason behind it? Because of the decision he chose. You see," he explained, "A cat's fate is ruled by the whole Sohma family, not him. All important decisions that might include a cat's future are always left in the hands of the leader of Sohma house which is Akito. But… there is one decision Akito cannot prevent when Kyo gets older. That's when Kyo decides to proceed with nagai henkan, the long transform from human to beast."

I swallowed. This was way too much to comprehend and I still didn't understand. "So Kyo chose to be who he is now?" I blinked confusedly, "But he said that all members got powers once they reached a certain age, including him."

"Yes." Yuki nodded, "That's true but he failed to tell you that when a cat matures, he is able to decide between staying a cat or advancing to a beast. To achieve this successfully, he can go about this three ways. He can either get stronger by yearning for revenge on the Sohma family, consuming himself in hatred, or the alternative, abandon his soul."

"I wanna know how it feels to have a soul…" Those words became clear to me now…

"Do you wanna know what makes souls so cool? It's harder to make souls stronger… and if you were to make one stronger, it wouldn't be by fighting or finding potential. To get stronger, you would have to do without or make them darker…" I understood that now. I was only partially happy that I figured out that much.

"However, choosing this path does affect us too. If the cat is successful with transforming into a beast then we get abilities once we mature as well." Yuki grimaced, "I know this seems like a good thing but it really isn't. For the fact that we gain abilities, means that Kyo is very powerful and could very well be capable of killing the whole Sohma family."

I gasped, lightly shaking my head, "Wait… you think Kyo gained his power by seeking revenge?"

"Yes… it's possible. Why else would he show his face after three years? He's more powerful than he was before he left." Then Yuki nodded. "…Now you see why I said to stay away from him. He's very dangerous, Tohru. If he does try to kill off the Sohma family, then we all have to be ready. That's why we have abilities, to stop Kyo and imprison him, understand?"

I did understand now. The Sohma members have abilities so that if Kyo was to ever attack them they could defend themselves. I could see this was more than just a simple curse, a simple burden or nuisance. This curse had complex paths that were irreversible and a destined fate that didn't bode well for the future of the Sohmas or Kyo. Here I was in the middle of it all. I was in forced to pick sides. I didn't ask for this.

"I admit, I told him to leave but it was to protect you. He tried to kill you, Tohru. How could I allow him to stay… how could anyone allow him to stay after doing that?" Yuki loosened his gaze on me, "I'm sorry for everything… I shouldn't of kept such a thing like this from you." he scooted closer to me and I could see the newfound power in his wary violet eyes.

"It's okay. But…" I could feel growing pains in my head pulsing, "I know what he is, and I know he tried to kill me. But you can't assume that Kyo would actually kill off the whole family." There was something about Kyo that was good. I believed that he didn't gain his power through wanting revenge but through abandoning his soul. That's why he asked me how it felt to have one… because he'd forgotten.

Yuki frowned, but still spoke with a pleasant voice. "You aren't listening to me…"

"I am." I protested, "But… I can't let this continue…" Like I could do anything to stop this chaos from happening but I had to try right? "You guys may fight and argue but Kyo would never try to kill you, even if he says he would, I know he wouldn't." Then Yuki stopped me.

"Apparently you didn't see how we acted today. Kyo is a killer and worst of all, he knows that he is. He has no problem saying it." Yuki sighed, "He's a different person from when you saw him okay? He acts innocent to get what he wants when he wants it. And I'm not going to lie to you. Trust me, you don't want to find this out the hard way."

Sadly I felt like I already had found out that hard way but I refused to tell Yuki that I came in contact with Kyo's beast a couple times already since he's been here.

"I was hoping to kill him when we fought today and I unsuccessful." he mumbled, "…but I promise that won't happen again."

"Why?" I asked softly, "Why do you want to kill him so badly. It seems that he never wants to pick a fight with you anymore. So why try to kill him?"

"Because he's a bloodlust killer!" Yuki yelled over my voice. I stared at him, frightened. Yuki had never raised his voice at me before. He quickly cleared his throat realizing his tone. "I'm sorry…"

"…" I couldn't lie, I was afraid to be with him right now. More afraid than being in the presence of Kyo. I know, how silly right? Even though the fangs were gone and the hostility was over, I still was frightened of my own fiancé.

"I overreacted. I just get so angry when I see how close he's trying to get to you." he sighed, "…But, protecting you would be no use if you feared me too. The last thing I want is for you to think I'm like that stupid cat." he paused trying to find more words to convince me, "Just know that I'm nothing like Kyo. Kyo's nature is to hunt, to kill…" he assured me, "My nature is to protect you and this family."

But I didn't feel protected. I felt as if Yuki himself would harm me too.

"I love you, Miss Tohru Honda." he stood up, standing me up with him as he grasped hold of both of my shoulders, "You will never see that side of me again." he promised as the wind whistled through the crack of his window, "Tomorrow will just be me and you okay?" Yes, I was frightened of him, I despised him leaving more than anything in the world.

Yuki let go of my shoulders, when suddenly a light bulb randomly busted above us. I ducked, watching white glass hit the wooden floor.

"Sorry…" Yuki frowned.

"Why are you sorry?" I smiled. "I'll just go get another bulb we have several of them."

"But Miss Honda… I mean Tohru."

"No worries, it's an easy fix. I have to make dinner anyway." I smiled at him again, "Get washed up okay?"

"…Very well." I assumed he gave up on trying to tell me whatever he wanted to say. Whatever the deal was, I closed his door and walked down stairs.

---

I was already an hour behind on making dinner. I'm sure Shigure was starved from waiting. I felt horrible for that. Oh and… Kyo? Well since he didn't eat our kind of food, I assumed that there was no reason why I should expect him at dinner time. Speaking of Kyo, I wondered where he was… I figured after the fight, he would come inside to clean up or something. If he was inside, I was hoping that he didn't hear me and Yuki's conversation.

"Ah my sweet Tohru…" Shigure was the kitchen however.

"Hi." I smiled. At least Shigure seemed harmless and I hoped he truly was.

"I wasn't expecting you to be up for dinner time, so I found something else to eat." he sighed, "However, I'm sure Yuki would still want some of your mouthwatering dishes…"

"Heh, I don't cook that well…"

"But you do…" Shigure put on his glasses and began reading his book.

Then a question struck my mind. "Shigure… what's your ability?" I don't think I surprised him with that one at all. He simply just gazed upon me with a half serious look.

"Really? And I'm almost positive that you think I will become dangerous to you too, correct?"

I froze. "No… not really."

"Believe me, I'm much more merciful than those two…" he began reading his book again. That wasn't reassuring at all to me. Merciful could mean a bunch of things.

First, it could mean that he was harmless or that what he called pain and suffering to one prey would be close to merciful, or not so brutal… or at this point in time, merciful could mean he was nothing like Kyo and Yuki's violence but still pretty bad. Then again, I could just wait for him to lose control and then I could make a judgment. For the fact that he didn't wanna tell me made me feel uneasy.

Really uneasy…

"Tohru."

I gasped.

"You shouldn't worry. Not all Sohmas are monstrous like Yuki and Kyo. Some are quite harmless when they get their new abilities."

"Yeah like him…" a voice almost snickered.

Shigure sighed, "Oh Kyo always ruins my fun!"

"Kyo you're back…" and he seemed fine, plus his eyes were normal color and he was cleaned up. He wore a fresh white collared shirt and black pants but his hand was still absent. I wondered how someone could just be fine after something like that. The image played over in my mind, Yuki just taking off his hand with no remorse whatsoever.

"Don't worry, I'll get it back…" the cat assured me.

He read my face again. "Does it hurt?" I asked.

Kyo laughed a little, "Are ya kidding me… it felt only as if he nibbled on it."

I couldn't see what was so funny. I mean the poor man's hand was gone, absolutely gone. "But you screamed…"

"Hn, because it caught me off guard." Kyo frowned.

"…or it scared him…" Shigure giggled.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YA DAMN DOG." Kyo grimaced, flashing his short white fangs at his teasing cousin, "BEFORE I CRUSH YOU WITH MAH FIST!"

"Go ahead…" Shigure giggled again, shunning Kyo's empty threat. "It would be funny to see how much damage you could with just a single hand… I'm sure it would be hard too."

"But not impossible… I promise you that." Kyo growled, then walked to the kitchen door.

"You're leaving again?" I called to him before he got too far.

"I'll be out walking around, if you need me, you'll find me." Kyo walked off and that was that.

Shigure smiled, slipping his nose back into his book. "Such a stubborn little kitty."

"I heard that! Keep talking and I'll make your mouth disappear…" Kyo's voice drifted from the living room.

"Oh such a Meany face…" Shigure whimpered.

"What's all this racket?" Yuki sighed annoyingly, "I couldn't even bathe in peace." he came into the kitchen and sat down at the table. In a way, things seemed to be almost calm around here. For once I found myself happy that we were all together again even though my heart still felt fear. And no matter how much fear my heart had, I wasn't about to back out now. Not ever.

So I began cooking for me and Yuki. It was around 9pm when I finished. By that time, Shigure walked into his office and Kyo was nowhere to be found. I didn't mind dinner time just being us two. Though he didn't say anything. I figured he said all he wanted to say today. Now that I knew about the advancing of the curse, there was no need to make the extra effort to hid things. Even though I still didn't agree with Yuki's assumption, I could see that he was relieved for me knowing that much at least.

But now that it was just the two of us, something invaded my mind, a thought that I never given much thought to.

"I wish there was a way that we could all enjoy meal time together."

"Hm?" Yuki looked up, brows raising.

"Well Shigure gets tired of waiting for me to cook… and Kyo doesn't eat at all…"

"Your point?"

"Well maybe if I made breakfast, lunch, and, dinner earlier and prepared something for Kyo to eat for all meals, they would both come to eat with us…"

Yuki smiled at my reasoning. "You shouldn't over work yourself with fixing meals too early but uhh…" he blinked a few times, confused, "What exactly would you fix Kyo?"

"I don't know…" I shrugged.

"It amazes me that you still continue to treat him like he's one of us. Even though you know what he's capable of." Yuki admitted.

"Well you know me… always willing to help."

He smiled again. "You shouldn't worry about him anyways, he finds his own food."

"Mmm." but I still thought.

Yuki said no more about it luckily. "What would you like to do tomorrow?" he asked with the usual friendly smile on his face.

"Hm I don't know…" there was always gardening. But we always did that. I wanted to do something that we hadn't done before. "Watch a movie?"

"We can do that now…" Yuki smiled, "If that's fine with you…" his mood had changed drastically from a few hours ago. He was back to his loving self again thankfully.

"Of course." I nodded.

…But Yuki fell asleep on my shoulder only ten minutes into the movie. It was a chick flick so I didn't mind. He snored softly from his busy day. He seemed so innocent laying there. I lifted his head a little moving him off me. I examined Yuki's lifeless look, surely there was no way that this sleeping child-like being could be Yuki. He wasn't supposed to be this frail. Was it possible for someone so dazzling to also look so insightful?

I turned the T.V off.

"Do you like him that much more than me…" a voice startled me. I hadn't expected Kyo this late at night. He seemed more awake than usual and he frowned, leaning against the wall.

I breathed. "You scared me, Kyo."

"Good."

I hid my smile. "You should be in bed right? It's past your bed time…"

He frowned at my comment. "I'm not sleepy. And don't change the subject."

"Huh?" then I realized what he was talking about and giggled. "I thought such thing like that wouldn't bother you, Kyo…" then again, he was the one with the hand gone, I could see why he would want all my undivided attention for that matter.

"Quit staring at It." he sighed, hiding his arm

"Come here…" I motioned him with one finger to follow me into the kitchen.

"What?"

I pulled out a bunch of leeks, I know his favorite thing to eat back when we were teenagers. His face turned practically white as a ghost. "What… are you going to do…?" he swallowed. "You're not gonna make me eat that shit, right…"

"No, no…" I got a knife and diced the leeks on the table. "But do you remember when you fed me leeks soup when I was sick so that I would get better?" I was very happy that memory wasn't gone from my mind and could still recall that far back.

"Yeah so…" he raised a brow.

"Leeks are also good for healing wounds." I gathered the cut up leeks and placed them back in the bowl then poured lukewarm water into it. "Go head, stick your hand inside."

At my command, he placed his nub in the bowl and held his nose tightly. "Uck… I can't believe I'm doing this…"

"It's a small treatment. It won't make your hand grow back but if you do this every day, the swelling is sure to go down, okay?" I yawned. It was now midnight. That was way past my bedtime. "I'm going to bed okay? Good night, Kyo…"

"Hey, Tohru?" his voice sounded shy as he spoke. I turned around, raising a brow. I could see how white his face was from embarrassment it was kinda cute.

"Yes?"

"Sweet dreams and thanks, I really appreciate it." It was that right there that proved that Kyo wasn't bad. I know he hated life and everything in it but there was something about him that allowed him to keep himself in control.

"No problem, Kyo." I smiled, "Sweet dreams to you too and I'll see you in the morning okay?"

"Deal."