A/N: Thanks for the reviews, reads, and everything. Really winding down now, hope you enjoy the chapter, leave a review if you please!

I think it's a joke at first.

I think it's a joke, and I'm ready to kill him for scaring me like this. I sit up in bed, the sheet falling loosely around my breasts, but I don't care. There's no way he would just up and leave when I hadn't woken up, unless it was to do something like go to the bathroom or get breakfast or something. He knows that I don't like waking up alone, he has to know. I had a fight with one of my boyfriends who left during the night, and he's seen it, he's seen everything.

"Chris," I call out tentatively, my voice wavering just the slightest bit. I can't let myself get too worked up, especially if this is over nothing. He's here, he's always here, even when I couldn't see him, he was here. He would not just leave me.

Except he can now. He can walk around and he can go outside. He doesn't need me around. He doesn't need to be around me. Then I think I'm being silly, he loves me, he wouldn't just up and leave if he loves me like he says he does. And he's an angel, so lying, it's not exactly in his repertoire. He's an angel, angels don't just cut and run. Now my brain is thinking about whether or not he's actually an angel anymore?

What does it mean if your angel suddenly becomes human? Is there some new angel just sitting around watching me? I quickly scan the room, as if some entity is going to pop up and say, "Boo, I'm your new guardian angel!" But there's nobody there but me, and I know I'm the only one in the room. I don't feel Chris's presence, and when you've had the constant presence for so long, you know when it's here and when it's not, and he's not.

"Um, excuse me, if I do have a new guardian angel, I know all about you guys, like the whole angel deal, so if you want to show yourself, you can," I call out to my room, and for that moment, I'm lucky I'm alone or I'd look crazy.

Nothing happens though. It's just me, sitting there in a big bed alone with a sheet pooled around my lap and naked as the day I was born. It's uncomfortable and I crawl out of bed, locating my clothes. Chris's clothes are not here, and I'm even more worried than I was a few moments before. I slip into my underwear slowly, still looking around, expecting Chris to either show up in the flesh or in the angelic glow I'm used to. He would never abandon me; that thought it just out of the question.

I'm just pulling my shirt when there's a knock at the door. My face flushes and I'm so relieved. Chris probably forgot to get a key when he went to wherever he went. He probably didn't remember he needed one. He was so used to just materializing wherever he went, he didn't remember that now he needs a key. I laugh at myself for being so worried. Of course Chris wouldn't just leave. I nearly skip to the door and throw it open.

"You had me so worried!"

"What?" I look up and I'm startled and disappointed when it's Paul standing across from me. "Were you expecting me?"

"I just…I thought you were someone else," I say quickly, not realizing how that sounds. I did technically break up with Paul the night before even though I haven't been invested in our relationship for a while. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, um, what are you doing here?"

"Did you…were you waiting for someone?" he asks and I have to quickly come up with some plausible lie.

"Just…my…you know, it's nothing, really," I can't cover my ass right now, and I don't really want to do so. I just want Chris, and with each passing moment that he's not here, a new terror strikes at something deep within me. I feel like I'm being battered, but I don't know why. I just want everything to be the way it was a few hours ago. Where is Chris, why isn't he here?

"Okay," Paul stands there nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Look, I don't really like how last night went so…do you think we could talk?"

I don't want him here when Chris comes back (he has to come back), but he looks so despondent that I feel a momentary lapse of pity for him. "Okay, come in," I step aside and let him pass through. He looks like he hasn't slept, and I feel badly for how I handled things last night. In my haze of lust and love, I probably didn't offer him the best explanation for my actions…or really any explanation beyond a few clichés that meant nothing.

"Thanks," he mumbles as he steps into my room. There's no evidence of Chris (I'm trying so hard not to worry), so Paul just walks over to the couch and sits down. "I did something wrong."

"What?" I don't understand. "What did you do wrong?"

"I don't know, that's the thing," Paul turns his eyes up to me, and his hazel eyes are so worn out. I've never seen him like this, and it hits me the depths of his love. While I've been falling in love with Chris, Paul has been falling in love with me, and the pitiful words I gave him last night reverberate through me, and this man deserved better. "I just…I should have protected you more, that's all I can come back on. We had fun, right? I mean, we did have fun, you liked me, right?"

I sigh and I come over to sit down next to him. I grab his right and hold it in between both of mine, bringing it into my lap. "Of course I did, Paul, of course we had fun—"

"I was horrible for not seeing what Sean was doing though. I should have noticed how he was about you, I should have done more to protect you. I didn't do anything. I let him travel in the same car as us, I let him be around you—"

"What happened is not your fault," I reassure him, this broken man before me. How many hours did he spend last night thinking about what he might have done to hurt me so much I had to break up with him? "Paul, believe me when I tell you this is not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. You thought he was your friend, but he wasn't, that's on him, not you. You were great. You're a great guy."

"Then I don't get it, why can't you be with me?"

I want to tell him about Chris, but I can't, not when I don't even know his whereabouts. He's not here, that's all I know, and even if he were here, how do I explain him? How do I even go about introducing him? 'Oh yeah, this is my former guardian angel turned human boyfriend, Chris. He knows everything about me because he's been watching me since I was born.' Yeah, I'm so sure that'll go over well.

"Do you believe in true love?" I ask him, not quite knowing where I'm going with this, but I have to at least try to explain why we're so completely wrong for each other without bringing Chris into this.

"I guess so, I never really thought about the true part of it, but yeah, I believe it can happen."

"Okay," I nod, "I don't mean to sound mean, but you're not my true love, and if I were yours, I just…I think we'd feel it. You didn't do anything wrong, and neither did I, it's just circumstances. The thing with Sean didn't factor into the decision, it was just a matter of bad timing. I care about you, Paul, but it's not love."

"Is there anything I could have done?"

"No," I have to be blunt for it to get through to him. I don't want to be like this, but he needs to hear it just as I need to say it. "I care about you, but it's not love, and I don't want to string you along and make you think that I could because…I can't."

"I'm that bad?" he frowns.

"No, you're just not right for me, that's all, really, that's it, you're just not right for me, and I'm not right for you."

"Is there someone else?" Paul finally asks me, and I figured out he might have thought it earlier, but didn't want to say anything. I pause for a moment because I don't know how to answer that, not really, not without revealing too much or everything. Chris is still not here, and I haven't even heard from him. I don't know what's going on, but yes, there is someone, yes, Chris is someone, even if he's not here physically.

"Yes," I admit, and he nods like he knew all along. "I'm sorry, Paul, but…there's history between me and this guy, and…it's just complicated."

"You love him," Paul says, and I take a deep breath and nod.

"I didn't cheat on you," I tell him quickly, "I thought I had no shot, none whatsoever, and when I started dating you it was because I liked you, and I liked being around you so I wanted to try. That's what it was, it wasn't to try and forget him, it was how I felt about you, but…things changed."

Oh boy did they change. I know I'm not being a hundred percent truthful with how I started dating Paul, but he's already upset and I don't want to rub it in anymore. Maybe Chris got in trouble with God for what happened. Can you get in trouble with God? Wait, Satan, yeah, so you can get in trouble with God. Wait, what if Chris is in hell? Is that even possible? Could God have cast him down?

"Stephanie?" Paul's voice cuts through me. I stare up at him, but not really seeing him. All I can picture is Chris, down there, hell, birds picking at his live or having to roll a stone up a hill, I don't know, my brain is jumbled, I think I'm mixing up my Christianity with my Greek mythology, and it's frightening. Chris didn't do anything, he didn't do anything that could warrant him being sent there, but what if falling in love with me is enough to make him an enemy of God. I don't know what's going on. "Stephanie!"

"I'm sorry, what?" I shake my head, but the thoughts won't leave me.

"Are you okay? You suddenly got pale, and you were acting a little strange," he turns his hand, which I'm still holding and he grabs one of mine, holding it tightly. "Are you sick?"

"No, nothing like that," I tell him, "I think, I think I just need to be alone, I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry I came here, I just…I just felt like there was a reason, and now I've found it, there's another guy," Paul shrugs like he doesn't care, but he does, and I've hurt him.

"Paul, I never set out to hurt you, you know that, right?"

"Stephanie, you're one of the nicest people in the world. You're warm and caring to every person you meet, I know you didn't set out to hurt me. It doesn't mean I'm not angry or hurt or upset, it just means I know it wasn't your intention."

"Thank you."

"What can you do?" he shrugs. "That's life. I guess I'll see you at work, yeah?"

"Yeah," he shows himself out, and I sink further into the couch, pulling up my legs and curling myself up into a ball. I wait there, sitting, staring at the carpet, willing Chris to come back. I don't know where he is, and the ideas, the theories, the worries pile up in my brain. I don't know how long I sit there, but my stomach rumbling reminds that I should eat something.

It's when I finish my croissant (it's all I'm able to stomach) that I comes to the realization he's not coming back, at least not like he was before. Maybe he's still my guardian angel, and he's here, but doesn't want to show himself, doesn't want to see my face fall when I realize that I can't have him, that one night is all I will ever get of him. Maybe that's why he hasn't shown his face, maybe he doesn't want me to hurt. He loves me after all, more than just a guardian angel. He loves all of me, every part of me, he's in love with me in a way an angel never could before.

"Chris," I whisper into the air of the room, but it's still and quiet, and it's like the only air that shifts is the air right outside my mouth where my words curl into the stillness.

"Chris," I say again, but still nothing, so I just continue. "I don't know if you're here or not, but if you are, I'll understand. I got one night with you, and if that's all I'll ever get, it won't be enough, but it's something, you know. I know you've been here my entire life, but I never felt like I got to know you, and once I did, yes, I fell in love with you because how could I not. You've loved me for me for my entire life. But more than that, you fell in love with me when it was completely against your nature.

"That means something, and it always will, but if it can't be, if we can't be, I'm still going to need you. And I know it'll be painful, it'll be painful for me too, but if you're there, if you're here, please, Chris, you can't just leave me. You cannot just leave me here without you. I need to feel your presence, please."

There's nothing.

"Chris, please," I plead, putting my heart and everything else out there, I'm begging now, my voice is low and soft and sad.

There's still nothing.