Chapter 3: A Wave of Christmas

"Beep. Beep. Beep!"

My alarm sounded loudly in the cool morning air and I practically fell out of bed as I woke up.

I really had to get another alarm clock. This one was seriously fraying my nerves; I hated how every single day started with this annoying, obnoxious, and unfortunately completely unavoidable sound. Angrily, I slammed the snooze button, stretching languidly as I yawned.

Oh god, I need coffee. It's not an addiction – I just needed to get all of this sleep out of me. And caffeine is the only thing that works, so...

Begrudgingly, I stood up from the warm confines of my bed and started the morning routine. I trudged into the bathroom, stripped out of my PJ's and stepped into the shower. The cold water woke me up a little bit; as my sleepy haze slowly dissolved, I realized today was the day.

The day I would return to the CBI. Suddenly I was fully awake. I began humming softly and my mood brightened immediately.

I had been waiting nearly three long years for this special day to come and now it was finally there. I bounced up and down to imaginary music like a child at Christmas day, waiting to see its presents. I couldn't wait to see their faces again. I couldn't wait to see Jane again. I had spoken with Jane the least of everyone on the team within these three years. Maybe that was the reason why I missed him the most.

Yes, there were times where I would swear on my life he was the most annoying person in the world, but I had strong feelings for him and I still got this warm feeling inside my chest whenever I was talking about him… or thinking of, for that matter.

Now, so many years later, I wasn't sure how I felt about him. Yes, my little crush on the blonde-haired Adonis survived longer than the usual workplace crush, especially since I practically hadn't seen or talked to him in three years, but it wasn't allowed to ever turn to more, there was a long list of very good reasons.I decided that whatever happens today, I would not fall in love with Patrick Jane.

He was still in love with his wife. He would never fall in love again – least of all with someone like me.

Falling again would just end in heartbreak.

(…)

Half an hour later I was driving to the CBI Headquarters. I turned on the radio on and – big surprise - a Christmas song was on. Usually I wasn't the Christmas-y type, but this year Christmas meant coming back to my team, my family, and that gave me something to be grateful for.

When I approached the CBI building I suddenly began to feel nervous. This was stupid. There was nothing at all to be nervous about. I've worked with these people before; I knew we were an amazing team. But even so, I was fidgeting and nibbling on my lower lip.

It was still very early so the parking lot was nearly empty when I pulled into my old spot. I heard footsteps and looked around to see Javier, the security guard, running towards my car.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but you can't park…" He shouted as he approached, but stopped mid-sentence when he saw me.

"Oh, Agent Lisbon! What are you doing here?"

"Good morning, Javier." I got out of the car and joined him on his way back to the building. "You know, I got a little bored back there in New York so I decided to come back and join the CBI again."

He smirked and opened the door to let me in.

"It's nice to have back, Agent Lisbon. Your team will be more than happy."

"Is anyone of them here yet?"

"I think Mister Jane is, but none of the others have passed my door yet."

I stepped into the building and made my way towards the elevators when Javier shouted after me. "Oh, by the way, Agent Lisbon?"

I turned around and faced him.

"Merry Christmas," he said with a huge grin.

"Merry Christmas," I replied and returned the smile. Then I stepped into the elevator and pressed 5.

(…)

When I stepped out the elevator, a wave of Christmas practically hit me in the face. Christmas was everywhere. A huge Christmas tree was placed in the middle of the bullpen with a pile of stuffed reindeers placed decoratively next to it. The desks were loaded with red and white candles, boxes filled with cookies, gingerbread houses and chocolate Santa's and several mistletoes were hanging from the ceiling. Somewhere a radio was playing a Christmas songs on a loop.

The desks were empty, though. There were no agents hustling and bustling in the bullpen, and there was no Jane lying on his couch, staring at "Elvis" or feigning sleep. I looked in the kitchenette, but there was still no sign. I decided to visit Hightower's office instead and smooth out some of wrinkles of returning.

This time I didn't hesitate to knock.

"Come in, please." Her voice sounded tired and annoyed through the heavy door – clearly she had come in early to finish up some slow-moving paperwork - but when I opened the door and stepped in, her mood lightened up visibly.

"Oh, Lisbon, it's you," she said.

"Good morning, Ma'am." I replied and sat down on the chair in front of her desk. "Are you ok? You look pretty… tired?"

She pointed to a stack of files lying on her desk.

"Got lots of paperwork to do, you know. And tons of complaints."

"Jane?" I asked and when she nodded we both started laughing.

"You can't imagine what a great relief it is to have you back. Agent MacDonald couldn't take it much longer."

I mentally added a Ronald to the MacDonald and smiled. Jane was right; that was funny.

"Yes, I guess I can completely understand his point, but I'm very excited to be back."

"I'm happy to hear that. We've missed you here at the agency."

I could hear voices from outside the door and felt the flutter of nervousness start again.

"Did you inform my team that I was coming back?"

"Oh, no. They know MacDonald is being replaced, but they don't know about you." She winked. "I didn't want to ruin the surprise."

"Would you excuse me now? I'd like to go say hello."

"Yes, of course. Welcome back!"

We shook hands and I opened the door to get out. Halfway outside, I turned around.

"Oh, one more thing. Merry Christmas, Ma'am."

(…)

"Good morning," I heard Cho saying from the bullpen. The chorus of good mornings in reply told me that everyone had arrived by now.

I was standing just around the corner of our little section of the bullpen. They couldn't see me, but I could hear them.

"Van Pelt, what is your handbag doing on my desk?" Cho asked.

"I don't know," she replied." That's not mine."

I couldn't wait any longer and stepped into the bullpen.

Jane saw me first and breathed in sharply. The others turned around to see what Jane was staring at, jaws dropping when they saw me.

With the brightest smile on my lips, I finally choked out the words.

"Hey guys. Merry Christmas!"

AN: I haven't decided how to continue yet but I'm working on it! I'll try to update asap. Everybody loves reviews :D