Geez this took me so long. I haven't updated in a while, I know. I have edited every chapter (I know there might be more mistakes still out there but the flow right now is acceptable.) I do a bit of recapping in this chapter. So you won't get confused of when they were quoted, I'll list them here. This chapter is very good. If I must say so myself. Good Kyo - Tohru fluff! No angst or despair here. (Except for the beginning.) JUST sentimental and understanding! Tohru does get to tell what she is thinking, she lays it on Kyo and this time, no holding back.

Things to look forward to: Later chapters will get a little personal. Passionate half lemons, limes and implied sex. No explicit stuff.

Recapped chapter quotes: ch3, ch5, ch7, ch10, ch13…

It will be my birthday be in late June and well, my only request is to get up to at least 100 reviews by then. On July 16th, will be its 2 year anniversary. If all goes well, this will be my FIRST fic that has reached 100 reviews! I will be truly thankful and it would be a nice birthday present.

THANKS REGARDLESS!

Chapter 17 – Loose Ends

I told Shigure I'd be ok to stay by myself. All I was doing was just sitting in Yuki's room all night. I'd be safe with a blanket and a pillow. I assured him I was a big girl and that he needed to get back home to finishing his deadlines for work. He still seemed worried but respected my decision. Yuki on the other hand, had turned for the worse. His lungs were filling up with fluid and he wasn't breathing like he should. So I needed to stay this time.

Once Shigure left, I kissed an unconscious Yuki on the forehead and tried to get to sleep. The medical equipment beeped and beeped, lulling me out of concentration. Soon I covered my face with a second pillow and tightly closed my eyes. This place was eerie and bleak but tried to ignore it all. Then the slightest bit of rustling I heard made me jump and I quickly sat up.

I was alone.

My heart nearly fell. I quickly glanced over into the vacant low bed gasping. "Y-Yuki?" that man was… gone. Completely gone.

I reached up with one quivering hand, feeling a large area of the bed and the warmth from the hospital sheets. Yuki was there… There were mixed feelings of doubt, gloom and apprehension that settled in my mind now. Other than many questions that arose at that moment that made me think why, there was also an icy growling fear. I had to go tell someone.

Voices, which wafted deep in my head, told me to run, get out! The apprehension kept building up until I couldn't take it anymore, I jolted up and opened the door to a dimmed atmosphere. Everything was so tranquil and hushed. The whole nursing quarters was… empty? "Hello?" I frantically trembled. Where was everyone? I stepped out of the room— just one step, and my foot almost slipped in stream of, "What on… earth?"

Blood trailed from where I was to down the hall. "Blood?" I gasped. But how? When? It only seemed as if I closed my eyelids for just a second! Just ten minutes, Shigure left the hospital right? Suddenly I heard weird noises. Crying… or maybe just sobbing. I turned around to find the source. They sounded like they were in pain.

"Hello?" I whispered, "Is anyone there?"

"Y-yes…" a disembodied voice spoke out, making me to cringe in a fright. Soon I spotted somebody in the corner— just before you hit the nursing station. Out of instinct, I paced to them. They were probably more scared than I was and I needed to help them. I never thought that I would find myself in this type of situation. It was almost like the horror movies we used to watch when we were kids. However now, I hoped that this will all be a dream.

"Tohru…?"

I couldn't believe it. "…Momiji? What are you…?" He looked so young almost as if he was still in high school. I knew that Momiji was the same age as us. His appearance was more masculine now. Yet he looked like a little kid. Why?

"Come on… let's get out of here." His face was frightened as he yanked on my hand. "They have killed everyone…" he whispered.

"Huh?" I blinked, "Who did Momiji? Whose they?"

"Just look around you! How can you not see it?" He started to cry. I looked behind me, my face falling to the gruesome sight. All the doctors and nurses dead, their bodies leaning over the desk as if they were stabbed from the back. "… let's go now."

"Oh my God." I feel Momiji tugging on me, yet my body is resisting. I can't seem to take my eyes off this sight. "Who did this?" I asked again but Momiji just let go of me.

"There's no hope for you now…" the boy spoke, his voice trembles with immense fears. "Now they smell you and they will come for—" the blond began to shudder and spas out like he was having a major seizure.

"MOMIJI?" So many voices telling me to leave, run, get out. But I couldn't leave Momiji here. He needed my help!

"Well, well…" a familiar voice cooed almost teasingly, "Look what we have here, Yuki…" glowing eyes gawked at me.

What? Yuki?

…I couldn't believe it. He was right there, still in his hospital gown and IV needles in his frail insipid arms. "Yes… seems we've missed some." Yuki was accompanied by his rival, Kyo. Both appeared out of nowhere, their skin pale and pasty. Yuki's eyes are pastel violet while Kyo's were black as black could be. Momiji laid unconsciously in my arms as I stared deep into their eyes.

"Yuki… Kyo…" I couldn't say nothing else.

And then Yuki held out his hand, gesturing me to come forth. It all felt different. These fears in my mind kept me from going to them. Yet my body wanted to. I involuntarily took a step. Yuki smiled, nodding and encouraging for me to continue. His teeth were sharp fangs, glowing and dangerous. I realized that I left Momiji in the corner and stopped myself for going any further. The men, very briefly, looked at each other. One nodded to the other.

"What's the matter…?" Then Kyo snickered deceitfully, moving swiftly behind me so that couldn't react in time. "Don't you trust us…" his mouth was near my jawline. I could feel his breath. His cold hand pulled me closer, my neck was against his lips.

I couldn't move. His hold was too strong. "Wha-what are you doing…" I choked as his other cold hand wrapped around my body.

"Relax hon, this will only hurt for a second…" Yuki purred, "Just a brief second of…" he trailed off, "…excruciating pain…"

As Kyo proceeded to take a chunk out of my neck, I screamed. So loudly I nearly fell out of the guest chair. My sudden movement caused the pillows fall under my feet. I realized the light was on and I quickly jolted up to open the blinds. To my amazement, doctors and nurses were scattering about. Then I looked over the bed and Yuki was still in a deep sleep, the way I left him before I went to sleep. I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 6am and there was no use of trying to go back to sleep. I was way too anxious.

I sat back down and quickly covered myself. Why was this happening to me? My subconscious had decided to torture me with thoughts I had desperately tried to seize from my mind— one of them being Kyo and Yuki conspiring together and turning against me. It was just a dream but even some dreams had truth to them.

"Tohru?"

"Yes?" I agitatedly jumped and whirled around to meet a face I couldn't have been happier to see— Shigure's face.

"How was it? How's Yuki?" The man walked around the bed stared at his cousin. "The doctor say anything?"

"No. I wish." I shrugged. "I just woke up."

"Alright." The man nodded. "Well are you ready to go? I know you're hungry…"

Actually the feeling of hunger left me when I woke this morning. If I was to force myself to eat, I'd probably throw up. "Not really." I folded up the blanket and placed the pillows on top. I cleared my thoughts. Generally, I had to before I kissed a sleeping Yuki on the forehead. Soon after that, Shigure and I left the hospital. I hadn't truly decided if it would be my last time until he was discharged or not. Most of this week, I devoted my time to Yuki, praying that he would get better.

Deep down I was guilty for the things I said to him before he and Kyo's fight. If I hadn't said those things about not wanting to get married, he wouldn't be so angry with me. Then I think about the dream I had and I fall deeply in thought. Would that really happen? I know Yuki never wanted to be the dangerous one. He always made Kyo the bad guy…

"A monster always has a reason to kill…"

"Shut the hell up, you damn rat! You're just as much as a monster as I am."

"Don't compare me to you, you bloodthirsty freak! I'm nothing like you!"

"Riight… and what makes you so damn sure?"

Assorted emotions occupied the depths of my mind, mostly emotions of apprehension. How much of my life was in danger if I continued to indulge in this curse? As I got into the van, my heart grew heavier with fear and guilt. If I knew all this was going to happen, I would have thought carefully on my own decisions. I would have kept my stupid mouth shut!

"…Tohru?" Shigure started the van and paused for a moment. "Are you alright?"

I was always doing that— must I constantly wear my emotions on my sleeves? I quickly looked up in a panic. "Huh?"

"Are you okay?" he wondered again, "You seem a little distracted." He sighed, thinking of the right terminology, "Detached is more like it…"

I tried to bring the happy side of me out but she was being a bit stubborn today I suppose. "I really don't mean to." I muttered, "I just want Yuki out of the hospital."

Shigure pulled out of the parking lot and merged into traffic, "And is that all that is bother you, dear?" he blinked, one brow up in suspicion. Generally, I looked down, hoping that he would just leave it alone. I knew very well that he just wanted me to confess my true feelings. Shigure and I never got to talk deeply about those types of things anyway. Time was on my side and I could finally be heard. If only it was the right person…

"No." I lied. "I just want Yuki to come home."

"And he will just not now…" the man partially smiled, "But is that what you really desire, hm?" he wondered. "Yuki coming home means he will have to stay in bed for a few more weeks. He will have to delay work for a bit longer. You'll have to take care of him and Kyo might get jealous."

"Err…" I blinked. Why would Shigure care about that… how much did Shigure know about Kyo and I already? "I'm sure Kyo would be fine. He'll understand."

Shigure shook his head, "He won't if you don't tell him how you feel about him." He warned me, slightly giggling, "He'll get the wrong impression. Especially if you don't say something now while you have the chance to."

Yea… Shigure knew plenty. Just enough to hit the nail right on the head. What he didn't know is that I already told Kyo. It was a load off my chest for sure. He knew the whole truth now. Yuki and I were still together but there was no marriage. Honestly, all I really cared about at the moment was how much he cared about that. But to my dismay, Kyo completely shunned it.

"I know this might sound weird, but I like you Kyo… I think… I always had…"

"No way…" Kyo ended up backing away, "You're lying— I don't believe you…" He didn't respond to any of my feelings. In fact, he hasn't talked to me for three days…

I was truly confused.

Kyo had always shown his sincere feelings toward me. He always wanted me to know how much he liked me. That is why he came back after all this time right? I surely thought that getting me to confess my feelings was what he wanted. But— I'd been doing some thinking these three long days, trying to figure out what he would gain with coming back to see us. I mean if I was truly dedicated to Yuki, coming back would be for nothing right? What if I was married to him? Would it all had been the same? Kyo was always a gambler. He believed in playing his cards whenever he had a quick chance. Sure… he played them recklessly but he always took that risk. Was this one of those times?

Heh. I'm pretty sure that even if my feelings for Yuki were strong, Kyo would find some way to break me from them. It was that or die trying.

"Or could it be…" he waited, "…maybe you've told him and he's not listening…"

I sunk deep in my seat, my eyes gawking hard through the window. "I don't know…" suddenly a wave of laughter drifted to my ears, inducing me to turn and look at him. I wanted to ask what was so funny but soon enough, he'd tell me.

"Tohru. You are the one who enforces others to sharing their feelings when things bother them. Yet you don't want to share your own?" he happily smiled, staring at the road. I knew he was waiting on an answer. An answer I wasn't willing on giving up yet.

"I-I don't know…" I trembled. How bad would I look if I truly ditched Yuki for Kyo? I told Yuki that I didn't want to get married but technically, we were still dating. Still, how could I just openly admit that to anyone? I was truly in a bind, and no one could help me but me. "Well actually…" I took a different turn with this topic. "Are you a true believer of dreams?"

"Why of course." Shigure sighed. "What's up?"

"Do you believe that dreams come true?" I asked again.

"It depends on the dream." He answered sensibly, "Some dreams are a reflection of our life, events and hassles we endure— as well as our happiness, our fears, our hopes and dreams…" Finally it was quiet in the car. I started to lay back when the man started up again, "…I'm not trying to pry Tohru but, has a dream that you had recently got you troubled?"

"Sorta…" I answered blankly. "It's different. I know that."

He let out a heavy hmmm… then sighed like he was deeply in thought. "Like a nightmare?"

"You could say that." I chuckled. It was funny really. Especially after relaying the thriller in my head a couple of times. "Yuki and Kyo working together…"

Suddenly he swerved into the other lane in excitement. At the same time, I felt like I was going to pee my pants. "Oh me oh my…" Shigure interrupted me. "That is scary…"

"I wish I could say that was all… but…" I sighed, "They murdered everyone in the hospital and I was their next victim."

Suddenly it was quiet again. My mind reversed to my previous thoughts of Kyo and Yuki and how I was going to overcome my fear of getting rejecting one or the other. I knew neither of them wouldn't reason with me. I knew I had to choose one. Then I wondered what the heck I was thinking. Kyo wasn't speaking to me so that should have narrowed down my choices. Still I was…

"Eh Tohru?"

I glanced up at Shigure who seemed just as confused as I was. "Yeah?" I sat up and blinked distantly at the man.

"I'd tell you not to worry about it and that it isn't real…" the man paused, pulling into the drive way, "But you're already convinced that it is, huh?"

To an extent, I believed that it would happen. I believed everything that happens in a nightmare, happens in reality at some point. Could Kyo and Yuki take me as their victim? Would they kill me? Yet, I just shrugged.

"I think… Yuki and Kyo care about you too much to do you harm." He answered, "They rather kill each other than to kill you— sorry to put it that way…" he sighed at my short-lived frantic expression. "I know this curse is a lot to handle but let us deal with it. Don't take it into your own hands." Shigure finally turned to me, "Especially when the worst comes."

The worst.

I shrugged again, thinking hard this time. It hadn't occurred to me that the worse hasn't even come yet and that's what I was afraid of.

"But life is too short to worry and stress over things. We all have to make the most of it. Whatever happens in the future can't be prevented. It's going to happen one way or another." He assured me with a flinty stern look. It was indeed different from any look he had given me before. Shigure was actually serious.

I decided then to break the awkwardness with a personal question. One was in order. "So you think Kyo deserves to die too?" I wouldn't be shocked if Shigure was on Yuki's side. That was only natural but the man sighed, pulling away from my concentrated gaze.

"Whether I think he does or doesn't… really doesn't matter, to be honest. What truly matters is that everything can be fixed easily with a few simple steps." He assured me, "But Akito wants too much power and Kyo is way too stubborn to back down. Now that he has the power he won't go down without a fight." He chuckled, "…and rightfully so. Since Kyo knows Akito wants him dead, he'll fight till the end of time."

"So…" I blinked bemused, "You're saying that if Kyo didn't fight back, Akito would have more power but Kyo wouldn't have to die?" I could see Shigure was regretting mentioning this to me. He bit his lip, staring hard at the unoccupied staring wheel.

He sighed, "Partially correct. The only way to gain more power is to kill defeat Kyo and repeat the zodiac curse all over again. But if Kyo didn't fight, he'd get imprisoned."

"Imprisoned?" I repeated.

"Yes…" Shigure admitted, "He would be imprisoned in a Seishin-tekina ishi cell. Which is a jail cell made of spiritual rock. It absorbs all energy. Especially dark energy which Kyo or any other cat can give off. Since Kyo's curse is effected by the moonlight, this cell is place underground in a stone cave to specifically reject any sources of moonlight."

Kyo's words were finally making sense.

"You didn't think what? That I was like this. Yeah. This what I am… a horrible murderer, with means to kill who I want… whenever I please. It was this or, living under a rock with that sanity I had left."

I lastly began to understand the reason why Kyo was somewhat content about all this. It seemed that he accepted all the events that happened to him so far. He didn't dwell on the past no matter how painful it was to him.

The engine to the van finally subsided and it was dead quiet. Shigure just slowly nodded with a knowing grin. "Don't worry Tohru, everything is going to be fine. Things are going to happen but you still have me… I can't help Kyo's fate and his decisions but I can promise that nothing will happen to you. If you trust me…"

"Thank you, Shigure. I do…" I responded, taking off the seat belt. Although, I didn't know how much more or less dangerous Shigure was. Perhaps he was just like them only stronger. I still had to remind myself again that Shigure's powers were still masked. Whatever they were.

"And you're going to talk to Kyo now right." We both pause, noticing Kyo's candy cane black V8 by the side of the house. "It's best to approach him when the two of you are alone together. That's what my women friends say anyway…" he teases.

"Friends…" I raise a brow. "Like… outside friends?

"Yeah." He blinked curiously at me, "Something wrong?"

"…Just one thing that confuses me…" I acknowledged.

"And what's that?" He muttered just as we sauntered to the porch.

"… Well I know you never really get out." I twiddled with my thumbs, "No one really comes over but family. The only outside person that comes to see you is your editor. You're pretty much a homebody and the more I think about it, the more I realize you really don't have friends…"

"Waaah. Hurtful." The man pouted, "I do too have friends. A lot of friends! I DO I DO!" he waved his arms in the air frantically.

Then I realized how mean that sounded. Just as I was going to bow and apologize, Kyo came out of nowhere and budded in, "He has as many friends as I do fleas…"

Kyo… I couldn't have been anymore happier. "But…" I thought, "But do you even get fleas?"

Kyo glared at us, his ruby eyes full of detest. "Nope. That's the point."

"You guys are so mean!" Shigure proceeds to stumbles off but just before he does, he pulls my attention away from the oblivious cat, "Now is your chance… I'll leave you two alone." He winks, clearing his throat, "I'm going inside— BOO HOO!" and suddenly the front door slams.

The cat just blinked a few times, nothing crossing his lips for a long while. I stood there as well, the wind blowing my long brunette hair into my eyes. I didn't budge and I decided to not to say anything. I waited for him to say something but he didn't. He just sauntered off into the woods. "GO after him TOHRU… GO!"

…But I just stared, trying to figure out if he was mad or sad through that blank face of his. He did a great job masking his feelings unlike me. I was jealous of him because of that. "TOHRU YOU STUPID RICEBALL — GO AFTER HIM!" But it would only add to the awkwardness, wouldn't it? One would think at the least. Something had to give though. One of us had to say something eventually, and it didn't matter what… As long it was something…

Then Kyo grumbled, refusing to stop walking or turn around. "What? You're just gonna stare at me from over there, huh? Rude."

Well that was a start…

"Oh…" I blinked. "Of course." It wasn't the best invitation but it was better than nothing. He turned around frowning, eyes not quiet black but dark enough to worry me. But Kyo wouldn't kill me though. If he knew at the slightest chance that he was hungry, he'd tell me to go away. "…I was wondering if we could talk about—"

"Come on…" He interrupted, tugging on my jacket, "You wanna talk. Let's talk…" he pulled me further into the forest, gripping my hand harshly. "But we are going somewhere no one can hear us scream…"

My heart nearly jumped out of my body. What on earth did he mean by that? Where no one can hear us scream? Hopefully he meant argument because I didn't want to die today. I knew that IF Kyo had the guts to kill me, no one could hear me scream out here. I was scared for my life honestly. Then images of when Kyo killed those wolves in his beast form without even trying floated into my mind. I just held in my feelings like everything was fine… but the more I thought about it, the more I realized everything wasn't fine.

I stumbled along, shivering. This time of day was a bit chilly for me. The wind was soft and gentle almost like a constant humming. Quite annoying to my hair blowing about though. He dragged me along until we reached a part of the forest I wasn't familiar with. He let go forcefully and grumbled. I closed my eyes and opened them with him magically in my face. His eyes were dark but still kept their ruby tint. I was thankful for that.

"I know what you want to talk about…" Flashbacks of our conversation reappeared in my mind again. I knew that these same memoirs had begun to play back in his mind as well. "And I still say you're lying Tohru…"

I sighed, pulling my hair behind my ears. "Somehow I knew you would say that Kyo."

"Oh did you, now?" The man growled, "And after knowing that, you still would say it…"

I bit my lip. "Y-yes…"

"It's not nice to play with a beast's heart you know." Kyo rolled his eyes, "I always knew that you were brave but not cold…" he took a few steps towards me, his hand rested on my shoulder. I quickly shuttered from the instant cold.

"I meant what I said." I turned to look at him shrewdly. "I wouldn't lie about the feelings I had for you, even if I was paid to." I felt his grip loosen. Suddenly I felt free and inhaled, "And you can't keep living in denial either. You can't keep lying to yourself, feeding your mind bad things…"

"Excuse me?" Kyo glared, "By no means do I lie to myself." He was now in front of me, "I don't have to lie about anything. My life is shitty. I'm judged before I have a chance to prove myself. I have no friends. The family I do have wants to kill me… I do not belong, here, there or anywhere…" We both felt like we were outcasts to the world, yet, he was more of an outcast than I was and didn't care about it. That took some skill, I assumed.

"People like you Kyo…"

"Oh please…" he proceeded to laugh, "Who… you?" He asked in an unsympathetically cold tone, as if I wasn't good enough. He laughed as if it were some joke, "You stand alone. The human race moves around me Tohru, and so do you…" The mysterious Kyo turned around and walked off, but I followed. I pulled him with my hand, inducing him to stumble back with force. I was… tired of trying being ignored. Kyo was going to hear what I had to say.

He managed to regain his balance and shoot thrashing daggers at me with his blood red rubies. "The hell matter with you now?"

I swallowed. Part of me wanted to say sorry and run off in a fright, however, I wasn't gonna let that part consume me today. I was going to tell him what I felt. "STOP!" I yelled frantically, "JUST STOP IT!" If I didn't yell, I'd cry instead.

"Huh…" He blinked at me curiously.

"Listen to me… Kyo, you aren't a bad person and you never will be! I'm tired of you telling yourself these bad things. It's pointless! You ramble on about how much you can't stand your pitiful existence… BUT YOU AREN'T DOING ANYTHING TO SOLVE IT!" I frowned, tugging on his sleeve, "There are people that have tried to reach out to you, like Keiko, Kagura and myself! All you've done is pushed us away!"

"Oh please…" Kyo rolled his eyes.

"PLEASE? Did Keiko not accept you EVEN after she found out how harmful you were?"

"Keiko used me to carry out her suicidal plans…"

"Oh come on…" I grunted, "What about Kagura? She still stuck by your side even after the fight with Yuki!"

"Kagura is family and an old friend… she has to…"

"GRRRR! AND I have been here this whole time. I have witnessed every fight and argument. I have seen what you can do and you even pushed a giant oak down to prove your strength to me and I didn't even flinch. You have even tried to kill me in the past! I have lost two years of my life because of you! AND I'M STILL HERE! NOW WHY DO YOU THINK THAT?"

A ghost of a smile appeared on the man lips. "Because you're stupid…"

I pouted, biting my lip. I wasn't giving up yet. "Yes I am. I'm so stupid for trying to prove how much I care about you no matter what the consequence is. Trying to prove that I'm worthy of standing by your side when everyone else is against you. I have even put myself in danger for you." I pulled up my sleeve, revealing the bruises Yuki left on my wrist. And he just glared…

"Yes… I'm stupid Kyo… but you're just as stupid as I am. As dangerous as you are, you came back to that house! You knew there was no need to. You were a free man plus, you had your life together and enough money to support you for a life time. You knew that Yuki and I were together. You knew what would happen if you did come back… so you did it anyway…"

Kyo smiled now, shaking his head slowly. "Powerful sermon… so you're mad now? You need to feel some anger ever so often. It feels good doesn't it?"

"I'm not mad. I'm just fed up…" here I was, a woman trying to click with this mysterious man, and he's egoistically pushing me away. He complains of loneliness and depression but he won't do anything he stop it. He just accepts it as if there was no other way. Well I was tired of it. I was… majestically in love with Kyo. I couldn't hid it anymore. "Just stop throwing up defense walls at the people who care about you. I don't care how dangerous you are. If I haven't budged from what I've seen, then I won't. NOT ever… damn it."

Kyo's ears twitched. His eyes blew up to golf ball size. "You… you swore…?"

"And if I did it again? Would it help get my point across…?" I crossed my arms, hoping that he wouldn't try me. I almost killed off my own ears by saying it. I didn't want to know what would happen if I said it again… instead, Kyo just shook his head again.

"No need." he shrugged, "You win…" he threw his hands up, walking off.

That's it? I wondered. All I had to do was ramble and he'd surrender? And if I didn't go after him for a second time, he would have left me there. At least that's what I thought. However the man came back with an old blanket. The same blanket that Yuki and I used for our picnic a while back. That's when I realized how far we ventured out into the woods. "Hm…" I focused on the blanket in his pale hands. He eventually shook off the excess dirt and debris and laid it down.

"Guessing where I got this since you assumed Yuki brought it back home after your… picnic together…" he rolled his eyes, reading my obvious expression.

"How did you know… that we had…?" I trailed off, mystified. "But, but…"

"I was there." he confessed smiling, "I was there the whole time watching you guys. Why do you think he wanted to leave all the sudden?" he chuckled, "He was smart to leave when he did. I was in my beast form…"

Then I remembered, Yuki did seem distracted towards the end of our picnic. "Yuki are you okay?" All he did was blink at me.

"Yeah I'm okay. You're right it's getting late… we should go." And his face was so serious after that. "I'll bring back everything later."

I wondered how weird it was that he wanted to leave everything there and just go. He refused my help and everything. He seemed so concerned with making sure I was at home. I had never put that much thought into that night, however it made sense now.

Kyo patted the spot by him, "Sit." he demanded.

I mindless plopped beside him silently.

"Tohru… I'm sorry." he sighed, "I am stupid. I don't know why I push you away. I guess when you are resented by everyone, you have no choice but to put up defense walls. I have been like that all my life, Tohru. You know that."

"I do." I nodded.

"Yet you still try and shape me for the better." Kyo shivered at the thought, crossing his slender arms, "But I'm not cut out for the greater good. If I was, I wouldn't have this curse on me…"

"I think the same thing sometimes. I wonder, why the heck am I with this guy. I mean did I ever love Yuki? Or was I just trying to shape myself to fit his criteria. Then I think… I'm not cut out for marrying this man. If I was, the feelings would be all there. Everything will feel right." I explained. "BUT the truth is, we are cut out for anything that we put our mind to. The only thing that stops us, IS us…"

"True but…"

"I know you hate yourself. You say you're not worth the effort because everyone doesn't want to waste their time on you. But you can't feed yourself that crap. You say you're not cut out for the greater good but it is you who is stopping Kyo from being good. You don't have to live like this if you don't want to… you have self-control…" I smiled, "After all… many times you could have killed me. Each time you resisted it." He would take a drastic action such as that just so that I could be more comfortable around him. If he could do that, then he wasn't all bloodlust. That gave me one more vital reason that he was good. No dream of mine could contradict that.

"Yeah you're right… I guess." Kyo raised a brow, pondering something else. "And all these years, you could have married that stupid rat but you didn't because?"

"Because of you…" I looked down as I said that. I didn't want to see his expression. His eyes were so penetrating. It was be very hard to get out anything else. This was hard enough.

"Me? What the fuck did I do?" he blinked.

"Well you showed up out of the blue. Before you came back, you were just a memory. That 'one cousin of Yuki's that I used to know'."

"Gee… thanks." Kyo scowled.

"It's true and do you want the truth or not?" I pouted at the pale man, who shrugged at the simple question.

"Go on…" he sighed.

"…But you were always thought that stayed in the back of my mind. Every blue moon I'd wonder, if he's doing okay? Does he have a good head on his shoulders?" I explained, "Lately though, after Shigure announced that you were coming back to see us, I'd been thinking more of you. I had been wondering what really happened to you— wondering why I only had teen memories of your face." I laughed as he just listened, "I felt dumb. It's like I never knew you—"

"Hm." He sighed as a rampage of thoughts crowded him.

"And to answer your question, Kyo, I don't know how you changed the future. Yuki and I were a done deal… how could someone like you change my feelings— my fate…"

"I was gone for three years Tohru. That's all." he assured me, "I didn't do anything. If all I ever was, was just a memory then I know I didn't do anything to change your mind. If your heart was in it, you would be at that hospital right now."

Then I sat there trying to understand what he said… but I was pretty sure that he was the one that changed my way of thinking…

"Hn, who cares what he thinks…"

"I do…"

"I know you do… you're a loyal girlfriend to him. But… that's life right? All girls gotta be loyal to their boyfriends…" That made me think. Ever since Yuki asked me to marry him, I have been feeling nothing but pressure. And then I thought I wasn't cut out for Yuki's advantage. I must be happy to keep my Yuki happy. Kyo instilled that thought but… It was me who turned down that marriage. I was cut out for marrying Yuki Sohma. I just didn't want to. My heart was with Kyo now…

Speaking of the man he laid down with his hands resting behind his head. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "There's a lot of things I could have done to prevent this. Honestly that cell sounds better than this…"

"Kyo… how did you lose your soul?" I wouldn't know. I didn't even know one could lose their soul. I was absolutely clueless.

The man turned to me and smiled. "Damn Tohru, you would want to know, huh?"

I laid down as well, my head almost touching his as we stared into the blue paradise above. "I told you, I wanted to know everything about you."

"I know you did…" he snickered uncomfortably, "But uh… your guess is as good as mine on this one, Tohru. Sorry." He chuckled again.

"You mean," I lifted my head enough to look over see his embarrassed expression, "You don't know how you lost your soul? It just happened?" this was very hard to comprehend at the least. "But there had to be something that triggered it…"

Kyo shrugged curiously, "Kinda wish I knew what that something was…" he sighed, moving his head closer to mine. "I started noticing I was different when we went on the field trip the end of junior year— you remember?"

I laid back down and tried to reminisce. Junior year… hm. Then it struck me, "AHA! When we went out to the old red barn out in the country?"

"Yeah." He answered, "I remembered getting sick."

"Oh yeah and the teacher sent you home after you threw up. I checked your temperature that night and it was 115 degrees." Which could kill any human. Hatori hadn't seen anything like it, but even he knew that was only the beginning. I should have seen the signs too. Kyo didn't eat a lot after that, even his last months of living with us. Thinking on it now, the signs were so easy to notice. They practically stuck out at me.

"Yup. I knew then something was wrong. But living with you guys would only speed up the process of my curse. Which was why I was at stage two within a few months. Usually, the process takes about a few years."

To my dismay, I couldn't remember anything else. I was… blank. I couldn't swallow that feeling. My mind wouldn't let me. It was as if I had been asleep all this time, and finally waking up randomly. "My last question ever…"

He turned smiled. "Okay. Shoot."

"Okay, are staying with us for good… or only to visit…?"

"Seriously?" Kyo leaned back, frowning, "You're asking that?" he sighed.

"I guess so." I muttered.

The man proceeded to answer my question, "My plan was to visit." he replied, "In fact I was planning to leave a weeks ago." he hesitated as my face filled up with disappointment. "But… crap happened. Yuki is in the hospital and now I have to take care of ya…"

"It would be nice for you to stay a bit longer. Forever would be nice." I lightly pleaded. "You've been gone for so long.

Then he exhaled again, "I would but… I have my own place to worry about, ya know?"

"Your… own place?" I questioned him, quickly.

"Um yeah… I have my own place." Kyo raised a brow. "Is that shocking to you or something?"

"Well you did catch me off guard with that one…" I admitted. I never put much thought to where he lived before he came to stay with us. I supposed he could have lived in a dorm or an apartment. Strangely, I always pictured him living out in the middle of the woods somewhere, perhaps in a hut or tent. I could be so ignorant sometimes.

"I have to be living somewhere if I was going to school. Come on think, Tohru." he told me, shaking his head at my obliviousness. "I may had been poor at the time, but I was never a homeless guy…"

"Right. I mean…" I paused, "…Wait, what?"

He almost smiled. "Tohru…"

Kyo's shadow suddenly blocked me thinking any further thoughts. His body was cautiously leaning over mine, not touching but very still. Abruptly his cold lips invaded mine, inducing me to tremble. I hadn't expected him to kiss me again. I wondered why. Nevertheless, he continued, gently caressing my brunette strands back. My hands rise up and rest on his chest, a secured barrier so he wouldn't spontaneously fall on me.

He kissed me so passionately as if he had been holding in all that desire for the right time— the right place. Here we were on forest soil making out. This… all this was a bit too courageous for me, yet I didn't care for the moment. I wanted to distribute my love to him through this kiss. Kyo pulls back, a smile of covetousness crosses his face. I wonder what on earth he could be thinking and then, he finally he chuckles.

"Why are you blushing…" the man proceeds to laugh again. "Give me a break, Tohru. Do I entice you that much…?"

Quite precipitously, I could feel myself blushing even more, the heat rising to my hairline in blatant embarrassment. "I… I don't know…"

Kyo sat up. "I was too bold. Sorry." he apologized. "I forget how innocent you are…" He stared down at my nerve-racking form. "Mentally and physically…" he spoke imperiously.

"Don't apologize for that." I flushed again realizing what he meant," It's nothing… really." I lied. When really, he had my delicate heart racing at the speed of light. My heart could have busted any second but the bridge of my rib cage kept it from doing so. So then it seems I was lucky to be alive. Dying by Kyo's beast was the least of my worries now. It was dying by the man's irrefutable passionate touch I had to worry about.

"We'll go tomorrow." He confirmed with a smile.

I cleared my throat, pulling my mind back together. "Huh? Where…"

"To my place." He replied, "I could use a road trip." His eyes locked on mine for moment, wondering if he would find answers there. "What do ya say? Eh?" I was amazed at his eccentric demeanor. He was so calm and laid back. It was a complete contrast from earlier.

"Sure." I leered. "I'd love to."

"Alright." He nodded, helping me up. "Tomorrow then…"

"Is this…" I paused, "Erm… a date?"

"Do you… want this to be a date…?" He asked me rather teasingly.

"I had never been on one." Yuki never really look me out. Which I was quite okay with, but now that I had the opportunity, I might as well go through with it.

"You serious? Yuki never…" he trailed, rolling his eyes, "Seriously, what the hell have you two been doing for the past two years? Playing grandma, grandpa…"

I laughed.

"Okay, okay. I'll take you to my place." He guaranteed me, "I'll make you a really nice home cooked meal. Aright?"

"Okay." I shook my head in disbelief. I realized more and more that this rather simple curse… twisted into something much greaterthan I was accustomed to. I may have delved into the pain of not knowing, but Kyo delved into pain of self-loathing of his own being and the pain of keeping something very important from the one he cared deeply for.

"Come on… we better get back…" he took my hand and held it sensibly in his own, gleaming down me with a beaming gallant posture. "Shigure probably thinks I've murdered you."

It was easy to see— my heart was oddly captivated by the cursed cat…

A lot of recapping like I said. Long chapter. Hope you all enjoyed it!