Regrets

Jess...

Jesse...

St. James...

A gentle shaking woke Jesse from his fitful sleep. His head jerked up and his eyes fluttered open. He moaned and sat up straight. His body felt like someone had filled his veins with lead. A white Styrofoam cup was shoved in his face. He took the cup and guzzled down the lukewarm coffee.

"Thank yo..." it died on his tongue as he stared at Shelby. He moved at stood protectively in front of Rachel's bed. They both stood there waiting for the other to say something. His earlier anger at the woman resurfaced. How could this woman be here?

"Why are you here?" he barked his voice hard.

"I'm her mom." Shelby stated. Her eyes on Rachel's pale form.

"No your not." Shelby look hurt. "You may be the woman who gave birth to her, but you're not her mom, your Beth's mom."

"Jesse, no that's not true"

"Really?" he scoffed. "A mom is supposed to be there for you, a mom is suppose to protect you, a mom is supposed to love you."

"I am."

"Shelby your more a mom to Beth and me then you are to your own biological daughter."

"I am her mom."

"Shelby! You gave her up, you didn't fight the contract, and you got your student to seduce her..."

"Befriend her was the word I used."

"You let vocal adrenaline egg her, you shunned her, you didn't comfort her win her team lost, and then you go and adopt her biggest tormentors baby." "How for the love Sondheim is that a good mom."

"I never said I was a good mom Jesse." Shelby's eyes filled with tears. He felt like an ass.

"I know what I did, and I regret that I don't know her, but like it or not I am the only family she's got left." "I need to be here, to prove that I wont leave her again."

Jesse sighed and collapsed into his previous seat.

Shelby pulled up a chair and took Rachel's other hand.

"How is she?"

"The doctor said it's her heart." "Shelby looked at him curiously. He chuckled. "That's what I did."

"Apparently she has a weak heart." "It just stopped working." Shelby looks at him.

"Is there more?" Shelby asked.

Jesse nodded.

"She needs a transplant but with her blood type finding on will be difficult."

"Why not use one of her fathers?" Jesse looked at her.

"There needs to be consent to have her fathers as a donor." Shelby looked pointedly at him.

"No, she will be mortified" Shelby nodded.

They fell into silence only being broken by the steady beeping of the machines.

"I regret it you know." Jesse just looked at her. "Not be there when she needed me, not knowing anything about her." Jesse just nodded.

"She's amazing."

"Tell me about her." Jesse looked shocked.

"Like what?" "Her birthday is December 18th..."

"I know that. I guess I'm asking why you love her."

"She's my soul mate."

"That's deep Jesse." Jesse glared.

"She's my equal in every way, vocally, talent wise, mental, emotionally, she fill that hole in my heart, she like the missing piece to my puzzle, the Elphaba to my Fiyero, the Beauty to my Beast, the Wendla to my Melchoir" his eyes filled with tears. "I am such an ass."

"Well that's blunt."

Much to Shelby's surprise Jesse dropped his head into Rachel's side; his sides heaved in the silent sobs that had been threatening to spill over since this nightmare with Rachel had begun.

Shelby had never loved someone so much as Jesse did Rachel, that much was clear, and it was all her fault. She had been so hell bent on being a star that she had given up her daughter, then again when she pushed her away. Now as she watched Jesse fall apart she realized that her biggest regret wasn't hurting Rachel it was that she never got to know the girl who had thawed the iron man in front of her.