Day Two: Disney World
I let out a moan and sat up uncomfortably while without even noticing flipping something random off. It's a bad habit. But what's even worse is I somehow managed to fall asleep on the couch when my bunk is only five feet away. I rubbed my eyes in exhaustion and let out another moan.
Fuck. Here comes the hangover.
I looked around and noticed others in awkward positions. Kyle was hanging over a bunk while Stan laid on top of him, mouth open and drooling all over the unconscious Jew. Now if I wasn't so hung-over I would probably question the position, how they got there and why Stan wasn't sleeping with Wendy but yeah…I don't care.
Cartman was sprawled across the floor sunny side up, his fatness must have had a fight with gravity and he just couldn't climb the ladder.
Bebe had vomit on her shirt and was cuddling up to Wendy and Butters, it's a surprise her tits and Wendy's attitude fit in the same bed. Poor Butters probably got dragged into the bed with her, she was probably all over the kid. He's like their personal plush toy.
Token was laying on the single bed like a normal person. That jackass is probably the person who left me on the couch instead of helping me into bed. Shit, I hope I didn't say anything I wasn't supposed to last night. Drunk conversations never end up good for me.
I rolled my eyes and looked in the other direction. Christophe was sleeping on the driver's seat with his legs propped up on the wheel and arms cradling the back of his head, not to forget the cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth. I don't know how he can look so cool when sleeping, I used to think I was badass. Not that I'd let that asshole think he was more awesome than me. I'm awesome.
All of a sudden their was knocking on the door. Nobody moved but a few tossed in their sleep thanks to the disturbance. I ignored it. Until it began again…and again…and again…now everyone was officially up except Cartman who remained lifeless on the floor.
More knocking, "Answer the door damnit!" I said angrily and now officially pissed off, my own yelling just caused an even harder thump in my headache, yay.
Without a second thought Christophe kicked the lever that opened the door while remaining in his sleeping position. He didn't even raise an eyelid. Asshole thinks he's so cool…
"Alright! Who thought it'd be funny to put me on the roof?" Kenny stepped onto the bus with a slight burn. Meaning he was a lobster.
I chuckled, "Dude, we thought you could use some color."
"You guys are asses!" he passed by me angrily and started to head for the bathroom. He rolled his eyes, "Why is Clyde sleeping in the bathtub?"
"He insisted on cleaning himself of the blood sucking maggots from Neptune. I didn't argue." said Token as he let out a yawn. The sad thing is he said that so casually that it didn't even seem out of the ordinary. Not that it really is with Clyde being Clyde and all.
Kenny didn't even supress his chuckle, "Damn it, Clyde."
I got up and tripped over my foot for a minute but easily caught my balance. I walked over to the bathroom and chuckled along with Kenny. Clyde had his arms and legs flailed over the sides of the tub and was currently snoring obnoxiously. "Let's wake him up." I said and without a second to waste I turned the faucet on high beam.
"AHH!" Clyde jumped up instantly when the freezing water touched his skin. Only to end up smacking his head off the faucet and falling back to the hard ceramic surface.
I turned off the water and fist pounded Kenny. What can I say? I love picking on a helpless Clyde.
"You guys are assholes…" he said as he rubbed his newly bruised head. If he's as hung-over as I am, that has to hurt way more than it would any other day.
"Tell us something we don't already know." Kenny smirked and reached his hand outward to help Clyde out of the tub.
"Dude, your burnt." he said with a smile.
"No, I'm naturally bright red. I'm part Crab Person, I thought I told you that before?" Kenny rubbed his chin and Clyde's eyes widened in amazement. I can't lie this kid is the hardest person to piss off, you manage to make him mad for about five minutes before he starts to joke about it himself. It's nice he doesn't hold a grudge but I find it more entertaining when the victim is pissy instead of happy-go-lucky.
"Seriously?" Oh and Clyde is a dumbfuck.
"Dumbfuck." I stated matter-of-factly.
"Can you guys be any louder?" asked Bebe in an almost screaming voice.
"Sorry, Babe, didn't mean to disturb your beauty sle-AH!" Clyde clung to me as Bebe walked in, makeup smeared, hair knotted and bloodshot eyes piercing at us. Now even I normally find Bebe attractive but this…this is scary.
"I think you need to sleep some more." added Kenny not even attempting to hold back his smug ass grin, if I were her I'd slap it off.
She grinned and crossed her arms and examined his burn, "Your lucky you're a hot tamale, literally."
He grinned back, "You suck on hot tamales, right?"
She slapped his arm (Ha, I would of done the same thing) and he yelped like a chihuahua. Bebe smirked with pride as he cowered in defeat, "Burn. Literally." he managed to spit out with a smile. See, he's always happy!
"Has anyone seen Tweek?" I asked suddenly. How the fuck could I forget about him? I mean I know I'm supposed to be a little more subtle and not obsess over him, it's obvious enough I like him but seriously, who let's a spaz out of their sight?
"Under the bed!" said Stan from the other room.
We left the bedroom and without hesitation I practically threw myself to the ground, "What's wrong, Tweekers?"
"Tweekers?" Stan repeated with a chuckle. I turned and flipped the boy off not even bothering to think of some comeback or cover-up. "Why are you under the bed?"
"Nngh! Earthquake!"
I quirked a brow, "What?"
He crawled out and literally attached himself to me, "I w-was -nngh- going to b-bed when out of n-nowhere! Something made -nngh!- a huge ba-bang! It was crazy! Jesus, man…Jesus…" It's obvious he heard Cartman's fat ass fall to the floor- Tweek twitched and I bit my lip to hide the slight smile. Not that it matters, who wouldn't smile at this adorable kid? He's like adorable! Not that I'd ever say that out loud…I'm not Kenny.
"Tweek your so damn adorable but your also such a freak." Kenny ruffled Tweek's hair and I was ready to slap his hand away. Once you touch Tweek's hair he's going to want to touch it! Then once he touches it he's going to rip it out! He'll be bald by the time he reaches thirty.
"Gah! Oh sweet Jesus! I c-can't b-be a freak! Someone will jump me!" he let out a squeal and Bebe giggled. No way, she is not making Tweek her second plush toy. She can have Butters, not Tweek.
"It's okay Tweek, it was just Cartman's fat ass plummeting to the ground." Kyle gestured to the STILL unconscious Cartman.
"So yeah, it was pretty much a manmade earthquake." I said and Kyle chuckled as he got out of bed.
"Are we doing anything important today?" asked Bebe as she combed her hair and everyone dispersed from surrounding Tweek. She looked at me, "Are you gonna let go of him? Last time I checked he isn't your toy," she paused and put her hands on her hip, "Or is he?"
Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch… Alright I'll stop now.
I flipped her off. Okay, so now I'll stop. "Dizney?"
We all looked up, "Disnah?" yeah that would wake up the fat tub of lard.
"What's with all the accents, it's pronounced Disney. Walt Disney is the creator of Disney land. Not Dizney or Disnah." Buzz kill. Wendy rolled her eyes and poured herself a pot of coffee and one for Tweek of course.
"At least we don't sound like stuck up bitches." objected Cartman. He smirked at her.
If I didn't know any better I would have thought she smirked back at him before returning to her usual glare, "You are a stuck up bitch. But if you find the term 'bitch' too girlish then well, you're a dick."
"No that's Craig." said Token as he took the cup of coffee from her hands and chugged it downwards.
She put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes, "Yeah your welcome."
Later that evening…
"DISNEY!" shouted Bebe and Clyde with boasted enthusiasm. The two are starting to share a brain, it scares me. Bebe is the 'center of attention' therefore having two of those will be quite a battle and Clyde is a 'retard' we already have plenty of those.
Anyways we just arrived at the gates of Disney World and well honestly I think it brought out the inner child of everyone, except Token who goes on trips to Disney like monthly. We should've got here earlier but let's just say finding our clothes was hard, someone decided to pull a prank and mix everyone's belongings together and hide them under the mattresses. Yeah, it was Kenny, no surprise there. OH! And then the asshole made us pay for his ticket into the goddamn place! He's nothing but a fucking moocher…he wonders why we put him on the roof?
"Well ladies and assfuckers, I'm off to enjoy the magical experience Disney has to offer." Kenny grinned and spread his arms out as he spun in circles, I'm guessing being the poor kid has left him with no family vacations. I almost feel privileged to see his childish grin but then I remember he just called me an assfucker. He turned and looked at the shy Butters, though Butters looked even more excited than Kenny did, "Care to join me, Buttercup."
"Alright, Stan, so I'm made fun of for calling Tweek, Tweekers, but Kenny can call him Buttercup?" I turned and stared at the asshole.
He wrapped his arm around Wendy randomly and she seemed overly excited. I can't blame her, he doesn't show that girl any affection. I sound very caring right now but the truth is I don't care about her or him, I just want to know if Stan is gay for the Jew, so I can bag on him. He shrugged and kissed Wendy's cheek, she blushed deep red now, man he must seriously be holding out on her, "I guess we all have nicknames for our lovers. Isn't that right, Wends?"
"I do believe so-" she paused and gave him a evil smirk, instantly she pinched his cheek, "Stanny-poo!"
Kyle burst into laughter and Stan glared at him harshly, "I also agree, Stanny-poo."
Kyle went to grab Stan's shoulder, to balance himself out from his laughing fit but once he made a sliver of contact Stan pulled away and held Wendy closer. Kyle's laughing lowered and he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. Then when they thought no one was watching, I was looking, they exchanged odd faces. Kyle looked confused, angry and a bit hurt while Stan, correction Stanny-poo, looked disgusted and pissed. "Cr-Craig,"
"Yeah?" I answered a bit too anxiously. Stupid Craig…
"GAH! Oh -nngh- I-I mean, wh-what do you want to do?" he asked as he tugged at the hem of his shirt.
I bit my lip, shit I think it's bleeding. Control yourself, Tucker. I shrugged and flipped off a passing costume dude, "Want to go on rides?"
"Sweet Jesus no!" he yelped, "What if they b-break anNNGHd then our c-cart FLINGS off and- Jesus Christ! We'll be dead! That's-"
"Too much pressure, got it." I chuckled and put my arm around his shoulders, I wish I could say that my touch calmed him, it does sort of…but he still shakes and twitches. I'm honestly proud to say I'm the only one that can relax him when he has one of his daily meltdowns. Grab the sides of his head, press his forehead to mine and tell him it will be okay in the normal monotone voice. Works like a charm.
It didn't always though, the first time I did it he head butted me, threw me to the ground and ran home. I let out a random laugh and he looked at me like I was the insane one, "Well considering everyone split, lets go on a personal date."
"Nngh! Oh-okay." He gave me a crooked smile but you could tell it was genuine.
It's so strange hearing him say that, I used to be scared shitless of my sexuality and wouldn't bother thinking about dating Tweek but now it's normal. Normal for us that is. We've been on several dates and we've had some hot make out sessions. Claiming him as mine would be nice but then we agreed to this whole pact thing…I don't have to worry though, no offence to Tweek but I don't think anyone else is interested in him. I guess crazy isn't for everyone, surprisingly it's for me.
"So, what do you think about the whole pact thing?" I asked randomly. I don't think I meant to ask it but I'm curious. I know Tweek probably won't get with anyone else but I just want a definite promise that he won't. Just to be sure.
"It's nngh way to much pressure." he said simply as he took a sip of his thermos.
We were quietly walking together and he probably thought I dropped the subject but I just need to know. I need too. "Do you think your gonna like…hook up with anyone else? Besides me…"
Tweek had a grin on his face when he looked up at me, "Sweet Jesus, y-you'd be jealous." he laughed lightly and I blushed in response. It's not fun when you're the one being teased, plus when people tease me it just reminds me of like a pervert like Kenny who makes snide remarks about everything.
"Well, I mean-"
"Kenny! Stop raping Donald Duck!" Tweek jumped due to the loud and obnoxious screams coming from none other than our friends.
Kenny, Kyle, Token, Cartman, Clyde, Bebe, Wendy, Stan and Butters were pretty much surrounding the mascot people. If I didn't know any better I would of thought they gonna jump 'em. "I'm not, I'm just trying to be original. Who wants another picture of me standing beside some character when you could have me dry humping one? It's a much more creative memory." he crossed his arms and smirked.
Wendy scoffed while Bebe just giggled with a roll of her eyes, "Your gonna get us thrown out."
"Dude, that would be the best face book status." I echoed in as we walked over towards our oh-so-embarrassing posse.
"Nah, it's too similar to my 'I just got kicked out of Fun World' status." Kenny shrugged and Stan laughed.
"Who can resist the play pin?" Clyde chanted and he meant it…
"Yeah even if we are a foot over the height limit and Cartman got stuck in the tunnels." Kenny high fived Stan. They're idiots, I can't say much else.
"AY!"
"Well if your done raping poor characters then lets go enjoy the magic of Disney!" Bebe exclaimed.
With that we all went off to spend a day taking more photos with characters that scared the crap out of Tweek, not to mention he shoved one into a foundation and booked ass across the park. Then we ate crappy fried dough and candy apples, most of which is still stuck to the top of my mouth. Not to mention we waited in hour long lines for thirty second rides and while doing so we got sunburnt. Clyde got sick after the spinning teapot ride. Kenny attacked me with a water bottle, so I'm currently soaking wet but it's kind of refreshing. When it got later and the cool lights started to come on me and Stan had a ninja fight with light up swords- if only Kevin Stoley were here to join in (you know because it's like Star Wars and shit).
Now after a long ass day with some crazy ass people we all spread out to enjoy the fireworks at the Fairytale Castle.
Everyone kind of separated with their partners, or current partners. Wendy with Stan, Kenny with Butters, etc. etc.
I was currently holding Tweek under my arm as we stood in a more secluded area and watched the show. It's really stupid, bad acting, stupid princesses and clique lines but it is a kids show, so I shouldn't complain. I looked down at him and I realized why they call this the most magical place on earth. Nothing can make Tweek's eyes sparkle like that- wow, that was pretty gay. "Guessing you had a good day?"
"The best!" he exclaimed and grinned up at me, "I-I enjoyed it."
"Me too."
I have a feeling the rest of the trip isn't going to run so smoothly for me…there's bound to be drama somewhere. Like Tweek didn't tell me if he liked anyone else on the bus.
If anyone touches him then I guarantee a fight- with me.
But for right now everything's good. I tilted his chin up and kissed him right when the fireworks went off. Oh yeah, be jealous, my life is like a fancy romance novel or perfectly clique Disney movie. We pulled apart and just smiled at each other, no need for making out, a gentle peck was good enough...we'll make out later for sure.
"Oh yeah I slayed you! Who's the prince? Who's the prince? Yeah, that's right, I'm the prince! I'm the prince!"
"Fuck you Clyde! Respect my authoritah."
Way to ruin a moment.
Yeah, so I realized that was a less humorous chapter and honestly nothing important happened. I guess I wanted more Tweek and Craig character developement but it was a pretty suckish chapter...
Well enjoy this shitty-random-unfunny-no point chapter. :)